I try to be upset by what Rebel is saying, but Lucky warned me, he knew this was going to happen. But is what Rebel is saying the truth? "Use me how? What does he want?"
"That's what I am trying to find out." Rebel doesn't look me in the eye when he talks, and it leads me to believe he isn't being honest. Why is he bringing this to me instead of Grim? What did Rebel do?
I go back to my room to process what Rebel just told me and I promised him that I will keep my mouth shut even though I don't like it. My phone lights up with a missed text message from Lucky.
Lucky-I love you. Everything will work out. I promise to keep you safe.
I guess him and Rebel are working together. I never thought I'd see the day that a Reject and a Rebel would be on the same side.
Rumor
"I know that look on your face Rebel, what are you not telling Baby about all of this and why did you tell Baby and not Grim? And damn, that kiss Rebel, what are we doing?" I have dreamt of this happening but never thought it would happen. Rebel kisses me again, reaching his hands around my back tightly he holds me to him. My head is resting on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. I am afraid to open my eyes, I am afraid that when I do, he will disappear, and this will all be a dream. I ask the question that I am afraid to hear the answer to, "What about Diamond?"
"She was only a distraction. I don't love her, and I don't want her." Rebel kisses down my neck, my chest tightens. I have never been able to get much further than this point when I made out with Tread. I don't know if I can do this. "Are you going to be my girl?"
I feel like I can't breathe. The room is whirling, and I can feel Squirrel's breath against my neck, bumps raise across my skin. Rebel is whispering in my ear, but it isn't his voice I hear, it's Squirrel's. "Love you so much, Sarah, gonna make you mine."
"Stop," I get the word out not sure, if it was audible to Rebel or not.
"Shh, Rumor, I'm not going to hurt you." Rebel is holding my hand flush against his chest. "Breathe, baby, and concentrate on the beating of my heart. You are safe with me. I'd never push you to go further than you are comfortable with. But just know that the way I feel about you is nothing like how it was for you in the past. When I touch you, it isn't about owning you, using you, or fuck, hurting you. I love you and when I touch you it's with love, nothing less."
I want to believe what he is saying as I listen to the slow steady thumps of his heart. I want to believe that each beat is with love for me. But tonight, I just need for him to hold me. Tonight I am putting my faith in Rebel, not to hurt me. The balance of the wheel holding my heart is in his control. We lay in each other's embrace not talking. Nothing needs to be said. Rebel has nothing to prove, I trust him.
**
Rebel never told me what he was holding back with Baby that night and he was gone by the time I awoke. And for the first night in weeks, my nightmares didn't come.
I know Baby has to be hurting since her suspicions about Lucky were true. We’re supposed to have a girl's day out with Sunshine. She is insisting that the three of us go out today to get ready for Baby's graduation this weekend.
The plan is to do mani-pedi's, shop for Baby's graduation dress, and have dinner afterwards. All of the guys will be busy, Sunshine says that Grim is holding choir. I get the feeling that he asked Sunshine to keep Baby and me away today. At the last minute when we are getting ready to leave LL shows up slinging her long blonde hair around looking madder than a wet hen. She is demanding to talk to Baby in private.
Baby
I am getting ready for a day out with my sister and my stepmom when up rolls LL like a bat out of hell, demanding I go for a ride with her. She says it's life or death. I panic, I am afraid that she knows my secret. No matter what she says, I will deny it all. LL tells Sunshine she will bring me by the spa after we talk.
I get into her BMW and wait for her to say it, to say the words—I know you fucked my husband. However, she doesn't, she pulls a pair of black lace panties, my panties out of her purse. But where in the hell did she get them? I know I didn't leave them there that night. "Baby." She wipes her nose and now that I look at her, I can see she has been crying all morning. "Do you know who these belong to, I found them in the basement, and I...if Romeo has fucked around on me, I don't think I could take it." She pulls out onto the highway her tears are flowing again. I feel like a piece of shit. How could I do that, sleep with her husband—my father's best friend.
"They’re mine, you know the last time I watched the kids, Rebel came over to fix the still, and I...I’m sorry we got to messing around down there. The kids were asleep. I wasn't thinking. Please don't tell my dad. Don't tell anyone, please," I lie through my teeth, but what am I supposed to do?
LL wipes her tears unknowingly on my panties. She is so upset she doesn't even realize it. "Jesus, I am so embarrassed, Baby. I think we have both learned a lesson today." We leave the conversation hanging there, both of us not saying anymore. I am afraid of what other lies I might tell to keep my secret safe.
After I am dropped off at the spa, a text comes through on my phone from a private number. There is a picture of me straddling Romeo on the couch in the basement.
Private- I know what you did.
I feel like I am going to be sick. My stomach is queasy. My hands are sweating. My pulse is erratic. I think I am having a full-blown panic attack. Someone knows. I don' think it is from LL. No, she would have beat my ass or at least tried. Someone is sending me a message, but who and what are they wanting from me? And damn it I forgot to get my panties back. Well on second thought, I don't really want them back. I don’t need any other reminders of the mistake I made.
Rebel
Emptying my pockets into the bin, I make my way into choir alongside of my brothers. I am trying to stick with Romeo's advice and keep my mouth shut unless I know something indefinitely. I look at a poster hanging on the wall about the rules of warfare. Rule number one never show your weakness—well I sure, as shit fucked that up. Lucky already knows Baby is a weak spot for me. For all I know Lucky could be setting me up, he has no loyalty to me. Baby could just be another part of the Devil’s plan or it may not have anything to do with her.
Romeo is going over the plans to set up a still in Chicago with the club. It is something Grim and Romeo have been trying to establish for a while now. "Rebel, you know how to maintain the equipment, you know the recipes. You’re going to be relocated to Chicago with the Disciples. We need our own man up there. You can take one other man with you to be your second. You ride out in two days. I don't know how long you'll be up there, but it's going to be for an extended period until things are fully operational. And I am sure you know Rumor is going to be living in the city when she starts school, so I want you to keep an eye on her." I can't say no to going, Grim would want to know why I am turning it down, and I can't really go against his decision.
This is the promotion I have been waiting for, plus it puts me in the same city as Rumor, and now it is my job to watch over her. I would like to take Trouble with me, but he isn't a patched man yet and he needs to be here to look after Baby. Tread is not an option. I don't want him sniffing around Rumor and he is our best shine runner. I know Romeo isn't coming if he would go there wouldn't be a need for me to do it. That leaves Striker. I hate to pull him from the garage, but I don't think he is going to complain, since Aspen and Rumor are going to be living together. He plays it off like he doesn't care that his girl is moving away, but I know it gets under his skin.
"Looks like Striker is my right hand." Grim is satisfied with my choice. Hell, he is probably happy to get the two of us away from Baby. Shit, what am I going to do about protecting Baby? I could tell Romeo, but then that means getting him mixed in with the Devils Rejects and I can't do that, he'd just take it to Grim. Looks like I am going to have to put my trust in Lucky and Trouble to keep her out of harm's way. I don't feel good about it, but I am afraid of Grim learning that I was thinking of seeking my revenge for the death of
my father.
After choir, I make the trip to The Razor's Edge to meet up with Lucky. "Look, man. Plans are changing. I have to leave town on business, not sure, when I'll be back. We either gotta make something happen with Rush tonight, or you are going to have to get creative in keeping Baby safe. If I tell Grim everything I know, he will kill me no questions asked for not coming to him the minute I knew anything about you and Baby, let alone everything else."
"We can't do it tonight we don't have enough time. I can try to stall Rush, but I know he is going to make a move on Baby soon. He has already started messing with her. I don't know what he has on her. Like I said, I am out of the loop, but he is already getting things in place for when he reveals the truth to her. I don't think you have to worry about her sister. I have it on good authority that Rush has proof she belongs to Benji, not him. But Baby, I think it could be the real deal, she could be his daughter."
"How do you intend to stall Rush?" Something isn't adding up with Lucky, I don't know what it is, but I don't have time to figure it out.
"I told him I am making progress with Baby. I will ask him to give me a little more time."
Chapter 11
Graduation
Baby
Trouble came to my window and got me tonight after everyone went to bed, says Lucky needs to talk to me. Trouble drives me to Lucky's apartment and drops me off promising to come back for me as soon as I call him. Trouble seemed like he was pissed, like he didn't really want to drive me to Lucky's. I don't know what crawled up his ass. He never acts ill towards me, but everything I said or didn't say seemed to set him off. I tried talking to him, but he said I wouldn't understand.
**
"Baby, I swear I never even saw you coming, but here you are. You own my heart. You own me. I'd do anything to have you on my arm, marked with my brand. But there is something you don't know about me, something I can't tell you, because the more you know and the deeper that I bring you into this the more at risk you become, and I care too much to let it happen. I'm in far too deep, Baby. If I could take you away from all of this I would, but I know running can't save either of us."
"Lucky, you don't make any sense. I don't understand what you are saying. What are you trying to say?"
"Fuck it, I'm a cop, Baby. I’ve been undercover for so long I don't remember who I am anymore. I got in too deep with you—I became too involved. I was never supposed to get close to you—to fall in love with you."
"So which guy are you?"
"I don't know, but I am the man who loves you." He tries to hug me, but I can't allow him to touch me.
I jerk away from him and shove his chest. "You were using me all this time. So what, now that you think you love me—you have a conscious and feel compelled to bare your soul to me. Is that it, Lucky?” I shake my head and try to bite back my tears as angers seeps through my veins. “What do you want me to say, that it’s okay, that I don't care, that I love you enough and it doesn't matter? Because I gotta tell you, when the truth comes out, I won't be by your side. You lied to me. You used me. I can’t trust anything that comes out of your mouth.”
“Baby, listen to me.” He grabs hold of me and pulls me in close. He stares into my eyes, and I gaze back at him hoping to recognize some truth there, but I don’t.
“So when is it going to happen? When are your men going to bust my father and everyone that I hold dear? When are you coming for us? You owe me that much, Lucky. I thought you were different, but you are worse than the rest, you have no idea what you have done, do you?" I’m livid. I am tempted to punch him, now would be a great time to have Trouble's gun for protection, though now I am not sure I would be able to use it on Lucky. Damn him for putting me in this position. Guess I know why Trouble didn't want to bring me. He must have known what Lucky was going to say to me tonight.
"No one is coming. I didn't turn over the evidence on your father. I turned over everything I have on the Devils Rejects and by the time it all goes down, I'll be gone. It will be as if I never even existed. You could come with me, and you could disappear with me. We could start over away from here, away from it all. You don't have to live this life." Lucky has tears threatening to fall from the corners of his eyes. I know a part of him believes the bullshit that is spewing from his mouth, but he isn't thinking rationally. I want to know what has him so spooked.
"I can't walk away, Lucky. I love my life. It's who I am, who I was born to be. One day you will understand why you have to let me go. Because if you love me the way you say you do, you wouldn't ask me to change who I am to be with you, you'd love me despite it all." I can't believe my ears. I pull out my phone ready to call Trouble, but then I have a thought...if Lucky is a cop, what about Trouble?
"And Trouble, is he a cop too?"
"No, he was my neighbor. I really did grow up around him. He knows I am undercover. He has been helping me. You can't tell anyone, Baby. You know this information could get him killed." Lucky or whatever his name is—is holding my arm pleading with me.
"So why tell me this now, why not just do your damn job and walk away?" I jerk my arm from his grasp. "Don't touch me, you are a liar and you played me. That is not love. Love is not based on lies and betrayal." He grabs my arm again.
"Baby, please. I meant what I said. I'll prove it." He shoves a phone in my face showing me that he was the one sending me those awful text messages.
"You've been spying on me for a long time. That's sick."
"Not as sick as that fucker old enough to be your father putting his hands on you. He deserves to go to jail for that."
"You have no right." Hot fat tears roll down my cheeks. Romeo could go to jail. He could lose everything all because I was being stupid.
"I have plenty of right. I’m a cop” he jabs his finger to his chest. “And covering for you goes against everything I swore an oath to. I was supposed to use the pictures to blackmail you for information on your family. I couldn't hurt you like that. You don't understand. Rush is breathing down my neck. My boss is leaning on me to give him something on your family. I can't protect you like this. Come away with me. I have enough money we could be safe."
I can’t believe him. He said he loved me. It was such bullshit and I fell for every stupid line. I believed all the lies. I thought he really did love me.
"I won't rat on you, but that is because if you haven't noticed I’m not a dirty narc like you, and Trouble is my friend. I’m loyal to the people I care about. Snitches get stitches, so if I was you, I would watch your back."
I walk out the door and Lucky doesn't stop me. I don't know where I am going or how I am getting there. But I can't stay here, and I can't look at Trouble right now. I call my only other choice, Striker. He comes for me, no questions asked. I go home crawl into bed and try to fight my tears, my heartache.
**
I can't believe it's finally here—graduation day and I am finally a legal adult. I haven't heard from Lucky, but I haven't really had time to worry about it. Yesterday was so busy and today is going to be hectic as well. I have an appointment to get my hair done and if I don't get a move on, I am going to be late. Rumor was supposed to come with me, but Rebel is leaving tomorrow for Chicago, and she wants to spend some time with him. I still feel slightly weirded out by them being together. I just don't want her to get hurt, but she says that she doesn't even know if anything will ever really happen for them.
She is taking her firsts steps in getting out of the life, and she doesn't have any intentions on changing her plans. We shall see how she feels about it once they are both in the same city and there is nothing standing in their way. I head to the Roadhouse to find Grim. I need the keys to his truck and Sunshine is nowhere to be found for me to use her car.
"Hey, old man, need your keys. Gotta get my hair did, and I am running late." I give my dad a gentle squeeze. Things aren't the best they have ever been between us, but they aren't at their worst either. He has already given me his permission to stay out as late as I wan
t tonight, as long as I’m not drinking and driving.
"Here." He tosses me a keyring and tries not to smile when he sees the expression on my face as I look at the keys.
"No way, you got me car!" I am jumping up and down unable to contain my excitement.
Parked out in front of The Roadhouse is a brand new pink convertible Mustang. "Figured you were tired of driving my piece of shit truck. And Trouble isn't going to be around to drive ya all the time, he's heading out with Rebel and Striker in the morning." Well damn, I am going to be on my own all summer. First Rebel and Striker are leaving, then Rumor, and now Trouble. I’ll be spending most of my summer babysitting for Romeo and LL anyway with school being out. I could have spent the summer with Lucky if he wasn't a cop.
Speaking of the Devil, how does he seem to always know where I am? I am sitting in the chair at the salon getting my hair put in an up do and low and behold Lucky is in the chair next to me getting his hair trimmed. "How do you do that?" I ask him out of curiosity, though I should ignore the bastard.
"Do what?" He asks with a hint of annoyance.
"Appear out of thin air, when I am thinking about you?"
"So you have been thinking about me." He smirks amused with himself as the hairdresser dusts the hair off his cape. I roll my eyes. I am not playing his game. "Happy graduation day." He kisses me on the cheek, pays for his haircut, and leaves. Why does he infuriate the hell out of me and turn me on at the same time?
When I get into my new car, I take a minute to breathe in the scent of the new leather. Grim really outdone himself, it's perfect. My phone is chiming, and it is a text from Lucky.
Lucky- Will you meet me tonight?
Baby- Why, have more questions about my family for your prez or your force?
Lucky- We need to talk it's important.
Baby- Fine I'll call you when I am free.
Why did I say yes, is he going to try and sucker me back in?
Just Ride Black Rebel Riders' MC Volume 1 Page 29