by Melody Anne
It took a while, but Shane found out Seth was living with a group of homeless kids, all between ten and seventeen. Seth was only thirteen at the time, but his eyes showed the evidence of years of hard living.
The group did what they had to in order to survive, including theft, prostitution, consuming and selling drugs — whatever it took. By the end of that dinner, which Seth practically inhaled, Shane earned enough trust that the kid agreed to meet him again.
Shane gave him a few dollars, enough to tempt Seth to come back, but not enough that he could get into too much trouble. They started meeting for lunch in a nearby park each afternoon, and Shane learned more and more of his story — that’s when he’d decided to help his group.
He’d gotten them involved at a gym his friend owned, set them up in a home where they could all stay together and helped them get back into school. Four of the kids left, too hardened to change, but six of the ten stayed, and out of those six, four were still there. One had graduated from high school last year and was in his first year of college. Seth had just graduated high school last month — a year early! — and the other two boys only had one year to go.
Seth was the only one in the group who’d taken to fighting. It was a way for him to channel his rage — anger from his father’s abandoning him, his mother’s overdosing on drugs, and his losing everyone he’d ever loved in his life. He’d picked up on martial arts quickly, and within a couple years, he was becoming the guy to beat in the ring.
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Shane thought the kid had a real chance of making it in the UFC. The day Shane knew Seth was going to be OK was the day Seth broke down in Shane’s arms. It was the boy’s fifteenth birthday and Shane had surprised him with a cake.
His heart had broken when he found out it was the first birthday cake Seth had ever had. And that night, when Shane gave him a brand new pair of Nike shoes, Seth had given Shane an appreciative hug, then sobbed in his arms.
Shane couldn’t hold back a few of his own tears as this tough street kid allowed himself to show real emotion for the first time in years. Shane couldn’t save them all, but even one kid — just one — was gratifying.
When Rafe had found out what Shane was doing, of course he had jumped in, donating funds, spending time at the gym, and letting the kids know that not everyone was against them. Rafe had been the one who saved Shane’s life when he’d run away at the tender age of fifteen.
Shane would die for Rafe. But he didn’t want these kids to idolize him — he knew he was too far from perfect to deserve that. But idolize him they did. They’d given up, and the unaccustomed kindness he’d shown toward them earned their adulation.
Seth returned to the two men well fed and with a smile of anticipation on his face. This is where he wanted to be someday — in that ring, fighting for the championship. There was a chance he just might make it.
The stadium began filling up, and music pumped out from the speakers. Seth was practically jumping in his seat. When the first fighters were introduced, he jumped up shouting as he waited for one of his heroes to walk through the tunnel on the far side of the stadium, where they’d walk along a narrow path to the ring in the center of the theater. Cameras followed the fighters, so before they emerged from the tunnels, the crowd was fired up as they saw them on the big screens approaching the opening.
“Did you see that?” Seth yelled as he turned around. The fighter had passed by and slapped his hand. Would the kid refuse to wash it over the next month? Shane wondered.
“You want to know what’s even better?”
“There’s nothing better than getting to high-five one of the fighters!”
“How about getting to meet a couple of them?”
Seth said nothing as he gazed wide-eyed at Shane, trying to decipher whether his mentor was telling him the truth. Trust still didn’t come easy for the young man.
Shane pulled out the backstage passes and handed one to Seth, who looked at the card as if he were holding treasure. Tears filled Seth’s eyes as he looked at Shane, then Rafe. He turned around to choke down the sob threatening to bubble up, and he refused to turn back until he was under control.
“I don’t even know what to say, Shane. Thank you seems so lame,” he said so quietly, Shane could barely hear him.
“Thank you is always good enough when it’s meant,” Shane replied, speaking with difficulty over what felt like a golf-ball-sized lump in his throat.
All conversation ceased as the fight began. Seth instead cheered so loudly that by the halfway point, he was losing his voice. By the end of the fight, he was down to only a whisper. And when Shane and Rafe took him backstage, the kid nearly passed out.
The fighters were amazing with him, though, encouraging him to keep up the fighting so they could one day stand in the audience and cheer him on. Shane knew that this was one of those life-changing events that Seth would never forget.
For that matter, it was pretty life-changing for Shane as well. As he and Rafe left the building, they were both silent as they thought about the way their lives had turned out. Rafe had grown up privileged, with a loving family, but he’d still gone through his periods of darkness.
Shane was lucky to have risen above his grim circumstances. Now, he was in a place where he could help kids like Seth. The rest of the world had given up on these “throwaway” kids, making them want to give up on themselves, but when people like Shane stepped up, some of them could be saved.
“Do you think you’ll be able to talk again, Seth?” Rafe asked as he ruffled his hair.
“Who cares? This has been a dream come true,” he squeaked as they made their way from the coliseum.
“I have no doubt you’ll be in that ring soon, kid. But, seriously, don’t ever think you have to keep fighting if you don’t want to. You may find that you love college even more than being in that ring,” Shane told him.
“No way, Shane. I love you, man, but right now you’re just plain crazy. What could be better than stepping into that ring with thousands of people cheering your name?”
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“You know, being a great fighter is important, but being a great person is what makes the audience love you. As long as you stay true to yourself, you’ll always have fans. Someday, you’ll inspire some kid who needs a break. ”
“And I owe it all to you. ”
“Hey, none of that. Why don’t you enjoy some movies and room service before you fly home?”
By the time Shane and Rafe made it back to their hotel, both of them were ready to part. Shane needed to hold Lia, assure himself that he really had the right to pull her into his arms — after making sure she didn’t bash him over the head.
Rafe didn’t know what he wanted. OK, that wasn’t entirely true — he knew what he wanted — he just didn’t know how to go about getting it.
Chapter Thirty-One
What had happened in Vegas stayed with every one of them during the trip home. But their thoughts were not the sort to be shared. Even Lia kept quiet, for once uninterested in trying to antagonize either her brother or her lover.
“What the heck happened with you and Shane? You haven’t looked at him once since we left the hotel. ” Ari finally whispered when they were halfway home. Lia shook her head quellingly and looked away.
When they landed, Ari learned that Rafe’s plans for now didn’t include her.
“Ari, my father’s in town and I need to meet with him. Head back to your place. I’ll call you. ” With that, Rafe led her to a waiting car, helped her inside, then shut the door.
Before this moment, Ari had hoped to have some time all to herself; she wanted to be able to sort through her thoughts and feelings about Rafe. But his manner of dismissing her so coldly and easily tore at her. He could be so caring and intense one moment and then businesslike and unfeeling the next. Now was the time to decide on her next step.
Ari opened the door to a condo that felt like a tomb. The silence hung heavily over her, dead, oppressive, and the familiar rooms suddenly felt airless and stale. The solitude she’d so often welcomed had become a cruel isolation, suffocating her, making her eyes sting.
Was Rafe an anchor or just a heavy weight upon her heart? Ari hoped for a chance to gauge her reaction when he next walked though her door. And so she waited. And waited.
When the ornate clock struck ten, Ari shook off her cobwebs and went off to prepare for bed. Rafe wasn’t going to join her on their first night back.
*****
“How was your trip, Rafe? You’re not usually one to take a four-day weekend to play. ”
Rafe downed his double shot of scotch, then poured another.
“It was a work trip, Dad. Shane and I are partners on a hotel and casino down there, and we were able to check in on the progress. ”
“If it had been a work trip, you wouldn’t have brought along the extra passengers,” Martin Palazzo said with a laugh as he sat down and waited for Rafe to join him.
Rafe had never been able to lie to his dad. Maybe his old man could actually help him. Without giving himself time to change his mind, Rafe sat down and tried to open up.
“I don’t know what to do, Father. I do care about Ari — I think you know that. ” When his father remained silent, Rafe looked out the study window for a moment, and then continued. “There are things about me that you don’t know — things I’m ashamed to admit to you. But it’s how I’ve coped. ”
“I know more than you realize, son. What Sharron did to you was unconscionable — she took something away that isn’t easily regained. I have waited for you to talk to me — for you to realize you were on a self-destructive path that can only end in heartache. Has that day finally arrived?”
“What do you know?” Rafe was aghast, horrified even to think about what his father might have discovered.
“I won’t go into details here, but I know you’ve been less than honorable. I know that women are little more than candy for your arm, and a warm body for your bed. You weren’t raised that way, Rafe. A woman is never to be used — never to be treated with disrespect. It’s a privilege to earn their love and a responsibility to keep it. ”
“What if they don’t deserve it?” Rafe thundered, frustration making his words to his father unusually harsh.
“No woman deserves to be treated as little more than your toy. If you feel she is nothing more than a cheap hooker, where is your self-respect in spending time with her at all? And if you know she’s better than that, where is your decency? You owe it to such a woman to walk away,” Martin scolded.
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Rafe knew his father was right, but to admit that would mean he’d have to let Ari go. He couldn’t do that — but he also couldn’t give her his heart. He no longer had a heart to give.
“I’m good to my women, Father,” he contended.
“You can put diamonds on their necks, but it’s little more than a leash when the gems aren’t given out of affection. You can tell yourself you treat them well, but do you really? I’ve watched you with Ari. Does she get your love — or does she simply get your body? How long do you think a woman like her will settle for less than she deserves? Even if she loves you, Rafe — and I think she does — she will eventually respect herself enough to walk away from you. ”
No!
Rafe wasn’t ready for Ari to leave him — or for him to leave her. But there was really no way forward with her. A woman had held his sanity in her hand once; it wouldn’t happen to him twice.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Rafe, but you came to me wanting advice. The only wisdom I can give you is to either give her your heart — or set her free. ”
Rafe slumped down in the chair, his father’s words echoing in his head. Set her free? No. She didn’t want to go. Ari had never had trouble telling him what was on her mind. Already, Rafe had bent his rules — made accommodations for her that he’d never made with any of his other mistresses.
He was in the right to keep their relationship safe — free from burdens like love and affection. Yet if he truly felt that way, why did his heart feel so hollow? Why did he want to listen to his father and run to her, tell her he cared? Was he falling in love with the woman?
If he was, it would only end tragically. She could never love him after the way he’d treated her. And if she did, she was a fool. This couldn’t end well for either of them.
The thought tore through him. He needed just a bit more time — then he would listen to his dad. Then he would do what he should have done the moment he’d met her in his office all those months ago.
Even then, he’d known she was all wrong for him. His emotions had clouded his normally cool head. He’d chased her, something he never did. He’d won — but at what cost? The price may have just been too high for both of them.
“I just don’t know, Dad. ”
“Go somewhere and think. You are surrounded every day by people whose only desire is to please you. If you give yourself some time alone, you can sort all of this out. You can come to grips with yourself and what’s best for you — and for her. I think you’ll be surprised by the answers you’ll find. ”
Rafe rose and walked over to his dad, slinging his arm around his shoulders and giving him a warm hug.
“Thank you, Father. I’m sorry I’ve shut you out. I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you. I think time alone is just what I need. ”
With that, Rafe left the room and called his pilot as he climbed in the car. Telling no one of his destination, he left the country. It was past time he figured out what he wanted.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ari inhaled deeply, reveling in the evocative scents of her mother’s flower shop. She’d been coming here since before she was able to form lasting memories.
Her mom had told her about the brightly painted basinet that had sat in the corner until it was replaced by a playpen, and then eventually a school desk. In that corner she’d learned how to make beautiful bouquets for weddings and create corsages for girls at their first prom.
“Hi, Mom,” she called out when she spotted her mother at her beloved workstation.
“I wasn’t expecting you in here today,” Sandra replied as she wiped her hands, then quickly stepped around the counter and rushed over to embrace her daughter.
“I came to help and spend quality time with my mom. ”
“Well, you certainly picked a good day. I have a small wedding I’m preparing flowers for. I have to drop them off in the morning, so it was going to be a long night for me. But with two sets of hands we might get out of here in time to grab a bite to eat. ”
“I’m a bit rusty, but I’m sure you can refresh my memory in record time. ”
“It’s just like riding a bike. It will all come back to you — besides, we’re working with roses and it’s hard to mess up a bouquet with such a beautiful flower in it. Come on and I’ll put you to work while you catch me up on what’s been keeping you so preoccupied these days. ”
The stress from the last few months evaporated as she stood by her mother’s side and started bunching flowers together and tying ribbon around the stems. Turning nature into art was very soothing — therapeutic even — and soon Ari relaxed.
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“Have you registered for classes yet?”
“Not yet, Mom, but I’m thinking about going back next term — I promise,” Ari answered with a wince. Without her mother’s pushing her so hard, she might have given up on going back. Nerves and Rafe’s insanely demanding schedule kept sidetracking her.
“I will go with you just
to make sure. I want to see my baby girl receive that diploma. ”
“OK. I promise I’ll do it. How about we make it a date and go in next Friday?” Ari asked with a laugh. If Rafe thought Ari was pushy, he obviously hadn’t spent much time with her mother. Not that Ari wanted him to — she was too deeply involved with his him and his family, and adding her mom to the equation would make parting with him so much more painful.
“Now that we settled that, how is work going?”
“It’s fine. I enjoy the Palazzo building. It’s beautiful inside and out. The only real negative is that I hardly ever see Amber, Shelly and Miley from my old job anymore. Rafe has a crazy traveling schedule; we leave on a moment’s notice. And then sometimes we’re at the office until midnight. It’s a little exhausting,” Ari admitted. She didn’t add that his demands in the bedroom were the most exhausting of all — very satisfying, but exhausting nevertheless.
“Ari, you have to make time for your friends. When a man starts to dictate too much of what you do and demand all your time, that’s your cue to back away. I like Rafe, honestly I do, but I worry that he’s taking too much from you. I’d have no problem with stepping in and letting him know he needs to back off,” Sandra threatened.
“That means the world to me, Mom, but I can take care of it. He’s not a bad guy; he just… makes the wrong decisions sometimes. However, he treats me well. When he tries some of his demanding crap, I don’t allow it. I promise you that if I ever feel as if I’m being taken advantage of, I’ll walk away from him so fast, his head will spin. ”
Sandra looked at her for a long moment and Ari began to squirm. She didn’t know how her mother did it, but the woman just seemed to know things. She knew how Ari was feeling sometimes before even Ari knew. It was creepy and comforting all at the same time.
“I won’t lie to you and tell you I think everything is perfectly OK, but I will respect your decision and take comfort in the fact that I raised you to be a strong woman. I hope I’ve taught you enough that you’ll never accept less than what you deserve. ”
Ari felt tears fill her eyes. She was so grateful that her mother had pulled through the accident and the cancer. Never had she been more afraid than when she thought she wouldn’t see her mom again. How could she lose the one woman who would always be her life preserver?