I keep my eyes closed while he starts to wash the rest of my body. I’m keenly conscious of his hands as they start at my neck and work down my shoulders… then around to my breasts. My breath hitches when he goes there. To my surprise, he doesn’t linger, even though I feel him hardening underneath me.
He’s so gentle with me. It seems impossible for such a giant of a man. Paradoxical. But as his hands swirl over my hips and wash the crease between my legs, I finally give in and lean all my weight back against him, absolute putty in his hands. I can’t not.
And like he seemed to feel my tension earlier, so too he seems to sense my surrender. One hand stays there and his other moves my wet hair to one side of my neck. And then he’s kissing me behind my ear. I can’t help trembling underneath his touch.
“You’re so beautiful. I don’t think you know how beautiful you are. How precious. When I touch you, all I can think is—”
I turn around in his arms and put a finger over his lips. “Stop.” I shake my head to reinforce my words. “Stop talking.”
A determined glint comes in his eyes and I can tell he wants to argue, so I silence him the best way I know how.
I kiss him. As his lips welcome me, I know it’s not just a kiss to silence him. God, this is what I’ve wanted all along. Ever since I saw him standing in the doorway of the bathroom and realized he didn’t leave after all.
He didn’t use me and cast me aside. He still might. No, scratch that—he probably will. But for now, for today, he wants me.
So I kiss him. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him with every ounce of the confusion and elation and passion that being around him brings out in me. He kisses me back for just a moment before standing up and lifting me out of the tub with him.
I try to pull away so I can stand on my own and not trip him as he walks down the outer stairs of the tub. Like last night, though, he just puts a hand under my thigh and hefts me up.
Does he know how insanely sexy his strength is? I wrap my legs around him and cling even tighter with my arms. My chest hurts because in spite of all the bullshit I’m feeding myself, I know this is what I really want—to be wrapped around him so tight, to just fucking cling to him and never let go. It’s terrifying and I want to make him put me down so I can run away, but for some reason I just clutch him tighter.
He doesn’t stop kissing me as he steps out of the bath, one hand on the little rail by the wall for balance. As soon as we’re on the fluffy bath mat, he carries me back into the bedroom.
The hand underneath my thigh is positioned in such a way that he has access to my most intimate places, and he’s stroking me even before we reach the bed. I’m already so swollen there that I can’t decide if I’m close to bursting or too stimulated to come again so soon.
Jackson lays me out on the mattress and when his body comes down on top of me, the pulses that start to rock through my lower belly are close to coaxing out yet another climax. God damn this man’s wizardry.
Jackson pulls his lips from mine only to kiss his way down my body. I blink furiously against the flurry of sensations assaulting me all at once. Oh God, it’s so close.
He lingers at my breasts, sucking on each sore bud in turn until I squirm beneath him. When he makes his way back up and kisses me deep, I expect the pressure of him between my legs. But, while I feel his length full against my thigh, he doesn’t seek entrance. I’m riding right at that edge. So close. But not quite there.
He simply keeps kissing me with deep, masterful dips of his tongue. It’s driving me crazy. Why has he turned suddenly languorous when I’m hot and needy?
Impatient, I slide my hand down his body and clutch his cock, ready to position him so he can slide inside. But Jackson takes my wrist and lifts it up. He easily captures my other wrist so that both my hands are sprawled above my head. His kisses become even more forceful and the throbbing length at my leg is more insistent. I moan beneath him. Why is he torturing us both?
“Jackson,” I whimper between kisses.
His cock jumps and his grip at my wrists tightens. “Say it again,” he growls.
At first I’m confused. Sex haze here. What did I even say?
“My name,” he says as if hearing my unspoken question. “Say my name.”
“Jackson,” I say again, rubbing my core up against him and wrapping my legs around his waist. I’m desperate for him and in this moment, not ashamed of it. “Jackson, I need you. Now.”
He kisses me so hard for a moment, I can barely breathe, but I’m greedy for it. I kiss him back with just as much hunger.
The pulsing beat at my core is thrumming riiiiiight at the tipping point.
Just a little more— If he would just touch right there—
But every time I try to position myself against him, even just his thigh, he moves away. He’s intentionally denying me, the bastard.
At my whine of frustration, Jackson lets out a low chuckle. Mother fucking bastard. I’m about to bite at his tongue in my mouth when he suddenly pulls away. I let out a growl, especially because he still has my wrists pinned in place. He easily holds me still while he reaches into his nightstand.
What, now he’s grabbing a condom, even though he came inside me in the bathtub? Ugh, fine, if that’s what’s been holding him back, let him get the damn rubber on and then get that glorious cock back inside me!
What the—? He’s not holding a foil packet.
“What the hell is that?” The question comes out breathless as I take in the slim metallic tube-shaped thing he’s pulled from the drawer. It’s about an inch in diameter and eight inches long, with a rounded top and a small switch on the opposite end.
Jackson clicks the switch and it starts to vibrate. Aha. Well, that answers one question, although I haven’t seen a vibrator like this before. Not that I’ve actually seen a lot of them. I’ve had some friends who swear by their battery-operated boyfriends, but I was always too embarrassed to keep one in the house.
“Open,” he orders, bringing the long cylindrical object closer to my mouth. The objection dies on my tongue and for some reason, I do what he says. I open and he pushes the rounded tip inside my mouth. My lips close over it until I’m sucking it like a freezer pop. Jackson’s eyes flare and my pussy contracts. He plunges the toy in and out of my mouth and I can feel the wetness seeping from between my legs.
Jackson’s eyes jump between my eyes and my mouth. God, I can’t believe I’m doing this in front of him. I’ve never done anything so… dirty. But at the same time, I can’t deny how crazy hot it is. I’m not quite able to give into my inner porn star and start deep throating the thing or lapping at it like it’s my favorite treat. I just take what Jackson gives me, my eyes on him the whole time, watching for cues. But he seems to like what I’m doing already just fine.
“That’s right, baby,” he says in a low grumble, “that’s right, suck it.”
So I do. I suck it like I imagine sucking his cock and that makes me even wetter.
Just when I’m getting really into it, he slips the toy out of my mouth. Then, with his hands on my hips, he roughly flips me over so that I’m on my stomach. The next second, he’s manhandling me again so I’m up on my hands and knees, ass in the air. He clutches my ass, massaging the cheeks. He’s not gentle and oh… wow, that’s… fucking magnificent.
I bow my head down into a pillow. He continues to knead my ass like a deep tissue massage. Then he pulls the cheeks apart wide and I feel his head drop down…
There.
I almost jump off the bed in shock when I feel his tongue rimming my back passage. Oh God. Little jolts of pleasure zing all through my pelvic region at the touch. I can’t believe— I mean no one has ever—
His thumbs dig in and he’s holding the area even wider apart. I hear a noise and… Did he just —? I look over my shoulder in shock.
Yep, he just spit on me. Down there. He’s rubbing the spit into the hole with his thumbs and using the moisture to invade with one thumb. My e
yes widen and I swear I choke a little at the sensation. I don’t have a moment to even figure out how I feel about any of it though, because in the next second, Jackson has the long bullet-shaped toy pressing into my pussy.
“That’s right, get it nice and creamy for me,” he says in a concentrated whisper, eyes locked on that area of my body.
I’m too embarrassed to keep watching him, so I drop my face back into the pillow. I should tell him to stop. Again there’s that thought, that this is all… too much. It’s too intimate, too soon. But the things he’s doing to me, God, I’ve never felt anything like it before—
Jackson drags the cylinder from my drenched sex and the thumb that was probing at my ass slides out. I let out a breath only to suck another one back in when I feel that metallic toy replacing it.
My whole body jerks at the attempted invasion. I should’ve seen this coming as soon as his thumb started probing there. Of course this is where it was all leading to.
But no way. He wants to shove that thing up my ass? I’m shaking my head and wriggling to get away but Jackson wraps his strong arm around my waist and holds me in place.
“Shhh, baby, trust me. This’ll feel so good. Trust me.” He nuzzles his face against the back of my hip and continues whispering to me in that low, hypnotic voice. In spite of myself, I start to calm and stop struggling to get away.
“That’s right, my beautiful girl.” He rubs a palm languidly down the spokes of my spine. His hand rounds my hip and then he cups me between my legs. I feel his warm breath and then he places open mouthed kisses all over my ass. Occasionally his teeth come out and he nips me.
And while I jerk each time, I don’t pull away again. When I feel the toy probing at the puckered opening of my backside, I stay still this time.
“That’s right, baby. You’re doing so good. You’ve never been more beautiful. You’re so strong. Relax for me, baby. Just relax.” The arm still wrapped around my waist reaches down and start strumming my clit.
My head presses against the pillow at the confusing mix of sensations. It all feels strange and wonderful and alien and hot. So freaking hot. The rod at my back entrance is insistent, but with Jackson’s fingers working me so expertly, my body suddenly loosens and the bullet pushes in past the first ring of muscles.
I gasp as it slides inside and Jackson makes a noise that I can only describe as male triumph.
“Jesus Christ, you’re killing my discipline.” It sounds like a pained admission.
Good. It’s not just me whose barriers are being broken down by this insane attraction.
When I feel Jackson’s fist tangle in my hair and he pulls my head back so that I’m forced to look over my shoulder at him, I’m grinning. His face is a contorted mix of lust and disorientation.
It’s the first time since I met him that I’ve felt the smallest measure of control in the situation. I’m not about to lose it. For the moment, he doesn’t have my hands pinned down and I use it to my advantage.
I reach down between us, grasp his cock, and roughly guide it inside me.
He lets out a pained groan, but he doesn’t pull back this time. No, he presses all the way inside and his body falls forward until he’s covering my back. I’m completely surrounded by him and I love it.
Between his cock and the toy that fills up my ass, I’ve never felt so stuffed.
“You like that, don’t you? You like my cock ramming you while I’ve crammed your ass so full?”
His dirty words send my arousal to another level.
“Yes,” I manage. It’s a whisper, but apparently that’s not enough for him.
“I can’t hear you,” his voice is almost menacing as he grabs my hip and starts thrusting in with a sharp, almost punishing rhythm. “Do you love having your ass and cunt full at the same time?” The slap of his flesh against mine each time he pumps into me fills the room.
For long seconds, I can only moan in pleasure. My eyes slam shut and the whole universe seems to stop for a moment, Jackson’s body over mine, me stuffed to the hilt, so full that there’s no room for any other thought, just the feeling that I’m about to burst from sensation. It’s pleasure with a tinge of pain and way, way too many other feelings to even begin cataloging.
But then Jackson pulls out and hovers there, panting, both of us sweating, and I’m pulled back into the present. “I guess you don’t love it so I should stop,” he growls.
“No!” I whimper. I look over my shoulder so I can meet his eyes. “I love it. I want it. Please.” I reach for him, needing him in me again.
A dark smile lights his face and he licks those sinful lips of his.
“What do you love, baby?” He pushes forward so that his cock teases at the lips of my core. I shudder.
“I love being stuffed full,” I whisper.
“Louder,” he demands.
My face flushes, but in this moment, I’d do anything to get him back inside me. My body squeezes around the toy in my back channel and that alone sends a thrill of sensation racing through me. At the same time, it just makes me feel incredibly empty in the one place I need Jackson.
“I love it when my ass is full and your cock takes my cunt,” I say.
His cock jumps against me and the tip slips back inside. “Louder.”
I whine and try to move so that I can take more of him inside, but he moves along with me to deny me friction. I glare at him but give in at the same time. “I love you stuffing my ass and cunt!” I shout.
Before the last word is even out of my mouth, Jackson has jammed all the way in. He pulls out, hammers back in, over and over like a bull in heat. I’ve never been fucked with such an animalistic fervor. The fullness in my ass only adds to it, making Jackson’s already thick cock feel twice as wide as he plows me.
And his words. An endless stream. “That’s right, baby. You’re my beautiful dirty girl. Dirty just for me. So fucking beautiful. I’m going to fuck that beautiful ass one day.”
A few extra hard thrusts accompany that one. “So good. So fucking tight.”
Then he reaches a hand around to finger my clit and I’m gone.
My climax is explosive since I’ve been on the edge of it for so long. Jackson won’t leave it at just one, though. He keeps rubbing through the first and coaxes me right back up into another. Tears run down my cheeks by the time he pulls out a third, which might just be an extension of the second.
I don’t even realize the noise coming out of my mouth until Jackson’s shouting joins me. He shouts expletives as he rams even harder than before into me. I’m biting at the pillow and wishing it was his flesh. I want to bite him, to tear into him the way it feels like he’s tearing me apart.
When we finally finish and he collapses beside me, he drags my body so that I’m tucked into him. His large bulk surrounds me from behind, his arm slung over my waist. I smile and pick up his hand, entwining our fingers. That’s when I see I’ve left scratch marks all over his hand and up his forearm since it was one of the few parts of him I could reach from the position I was in. Instead of being horrified, a rush of primitive satisfaction hits me at seeing the marks.
Mine. I’ve marked him.
I kiss his knuckles and his arm tightens around me, then one of his heavy legs slings over mine. Like he’s caging me in.
I don’t mind. I snuggle my back into him and focus on the warmth of his breath on my shoulder. Within thirty seconds, his breathing evens out and he begins to snore lightly.
I giggle. I can’t help it. It’s such a guy thing to do. He just fucked me ten ways from Sunday and I’ve still got a dildo in my ass—but he’s out for the count in less than two minutes. I shake my head and reach between my legs. It takes some gymnastic stretching, but I manage to get to the toy and slide it out. It comes out with a slick pop noise. I’m too worn out to be embarrassed. I deposit it over the side of the bed and then snuggle back into Jackson’s arms.
Doesn’t seem like he’s letting go anytime soon and in this moment, there’s
no place I’d rather be.
Chapter Fourteen
“Mama, do one, two, three!” Charlie tugs on my hand. I look over at Shannon and see him reaching for hers as well. She takes it.
I don’t care that the pathways are crowded at the zoo, I love hearing Charlie’s giggle.
“One, two, three,” I count, and then Shannon and I swing Charlie by his arms up into the air, legs arcing high. Charlie’s giggles fill the air and I laugh in response. It never fails.
“Again!”
I’m way ahead of him. Right as his feet touch the ground, I’m already counting again. Shannon joins in with me and when I look over, she’s grinning. For the first time in forever, she seems relaxed and easygoing.
She didn’t even bitch me out about my surprise sleepover when I got home from Jackson’s this morning. And when I invited her to come to the zoo with Charlie and me, she didn’t cite her ever-pressing piles of work like normal. Yeah, she takes care of Charlie during the day, but she rarely spends time with him and me outside of her regularly-scheduled hours.
We swing Charlie a few more times until my arm gets tired.
“Again!” Charlie demands.
I reach down and tickle his belly. “Sorry, mommy’s a wimp. I need a break.” I kiss him on the top of his head. “Oh, look at that big turtle.”
Distraction: every mother’s best friend.
Charlie looks where I’m pointing and his face lights up. “Tortoise!” The word comes out more like “toy-tis.” Freaking adorable. I’m still fixated on my child’s absolute cuteness when his small body launches in that direction, his little hand almost yanking out of mine in his ferocity. I stumble after him as we weave through the crowd of other children and parents to get closer to the fence between us and the large turtles.
“What a big turtle,” I say and Charlie looks at me with the disdain particular to small children’s derision for their ignorant parent.
“Toy-tis, Mama. Dora says toy-tises is big and walk on the ground. Turtles is in the water.”
“Ouch,” Shannon says beside me. “I think you just got schooled by your two-and-a-half-year-old.”
Cut So Deep: Break So Soft Duet Page 20