“With all due respect…” Did I seriously just say that? “My mouth isn’t exactly being that cooperative.”
One side of his mouth hitched upward, the sassiness that he seemed to secretly adore about me lifting the playfulness of his expression a bit. “True. I’ve merely become more tolerant of it.”
I leaned in closer and draped my hands around his neck. Dragging my tongue an inch across his neck, I kissed him twice on the way to his ear. “I think you’re more than tolerant. I think you get rather turned on by my mouth.” My hand slid up his neck on the opposite side, gently scratching his nape with my fingernails. I had just begun necking him again when both hands slowly blocked and pushed me away. His smile hadn’t disappeared though.
“While I applaud your evasion techniques, this is exactly what I’m talking about. The last time I had you in my possession, you fought me all the way to the auction floor. Once you got here, you went on the defensive the opposite way, by giving me everything I wanted. So I’m curious? Why the change up?”
I reluctantly sighed. He was never going to let this go. Couldn’t say I blamed him. I doubt I would’ve if the roles were reversed. “What I told you before... About how I didn’t want to be beaten or manipulated or forced to play those awful games anymore?” He acknowledged my question with a curt nod. “That was only partially true. The other reason I’ve been so…forthcoming, is because I know how much you get off on manipulating me. And if I was going to have to be your prisoner, then I wanted to take away as much power from you as possible.” I tensed, because my brutal honesty could very well get me smacked. But when it didn’t, I added, “And if giving myself to you took a piece of the thrill away, then that’s what I was going to do.”
“And you call me manipulative,” he professed.
“I didn’t hear a denial in that response.”
His lips twisted as he watched his hands slide down my sides and land on my hips. “Yes. There’s a thrill involved when taking something someone doesn’t want to give. I’ll admit I’ve had a fondness for the tactic.”
And I won’t give it to you anymore.
I let loose a heavy sigh and tried to shake the disbelief from my head. “You do realize that this entire evening has been one what-the-fuck moment after another, right?”
Two tight chuckles came from the back of his throat. He grabbed my jaw again, tightly enough to make me rise up a bit and cry out. There was a real shift in his eyes, the gold completely dominating the green, and the Zander I normally spoke to seemed to take over again. “And you realize, that the pillow talk we just had was a one-time thing, so I hope you enjoyed it. You’re going to be a permanent guest here from now on, with special obligations that I expect you to fulfill. If I say bend over, you bend that cute little ass over. I will fuck you when I want, how I want, and where I want. I will provide you with everything you need. All you have to do in return is spread your legs with a smile. Or don’t smile. Feel free to even cry a little. Because sometimes I need the cheap thrill of taking what you don’t want to really give me. Understood?”
I swallowed awkwardly, his hand still tight against the hinge of my jaw, not realizing until now that my breaths had sped up. My chest was thrusting up and down a little too much, like it called for his attention. It was too warm between my legs. And it didn’t sit well with me at all that certain parts of my body were completely turned on by the dominating aspect of that speech.
I nodded and he released his grip on me. But I didn’t stay quiet. “Didn’t you just say that the man I was kissing would be the one sticking around if I minded you? Where the hell did he just go?”
With narrow eyes and a wicked smile, he replied, “We go back and forth, love.”
Despite that cheeky remark from Zander the other night, he didn’t require any real playtime with me. And for the past two days now, there’d been absolutely zero invasion beneath my slip. I understood why his verbal assault reared its dominating head. He had a moment of weakness with me. Let his guard down long enough to feed me answers he may’ve regretted giving.
Did I think that softer, more reserved version of Zander truly existed? Yes. Did I think it was a side of him I’d get to see very often? Hell to the no. Because he needed to keep me in line. Kinder Zander would let me walk all over him. He was the version I imagined played a serious role when he had real girlfriends. But that wasn’t my definition. I was here because he stole me and hid me away. He needed me to fear what would happen if I ever disobeyed him. Because I would never be the girl who willingly stayed given the choice. He needed to be the firmer, colder, more aggressive version.
And hell if my damn body didn’t like him that way. Which, God help me, was just wrong. So very, very goddamn wrong.
His newfound celibacy was freaking weird though. To date, he always took me at night. I could already tell the guy seriously had a sex addiction problem. So long as I was conscious, he had his way with me. Which was why I was left shaking my head. Now, three days had passed and he hadn’t done anything sexual with me. I woke up each morning with his arm wrapping me snug against his chest, which was the only time I saw him halfway naked now. He’d been sleeping with pants on, which he never did either, always opting for the Full Monty. I could only guess the marks on my back did a real guilt trip on him, getting him to lay off me long enough to really have a chance to heal.
We hadn’t spoken much since that night either. Like he was afraid he’d fall victim to vulnerability again. He kept me locked away half the day, as if he didn’t have the strength to control what happened between us any longer. He found moments to kiss my lips and the exposed areas of my skin, but never so much as even allowed my strap to fall down. Suddenly our contact had become PG-13.
Which completely confused the crap out of me. The guy was an abducting rapist, and the one thing I could do to make him more vulnerable on emotional level was to sleep with him. And now he wasn’t having any of it. How in the hell was I going to manipulate him into letting Nick go if he completely pulled the brakes?
And yeah, I realized sleeping with my captor probably wasn’t the best plan, but hell, I was locked away in a house nobody knew about. I didn’t really have a better alternative to explore at the moment.
So as totally, inconceivably, and horribly wrong as it was, I needed our sexual relationship back on course. Even if it meant what I did moving forward suffocated me with guilt the rest of my life.
I wrapped a towel around my damp body. At first I opened the top drawer, like I’d done every other night of my life here. Well, except that first night, when he told me to choose from the second. But he’d never ordered anything since, letting me choose at my own free will. I was reexamining the contents of that middle drawer now. Taking a second look, they weren’t all that bad. Yeah, most were lacey or see-through over the breasts, but maybe that was what I needed right now.
I needed Zander to step it up again. I suspected that part of his hesitance was because he opened himself up to me the other night. Maybe he hadn’t planned on that. Maybe he’d just wanted something to play with after all, but got something more than he was ready to deal with. Maybe he wasn’t touching me so much because a part of him was feeling something real for me. Something that weighed on his conscience. And if I could get him farther down that road, it gave me power. Power that could be used to set Nick free.
Bravely, I shuffled through the third drawer as well. I still wasn’t going to touch the garters or corsets with a ten foot pole, but there was one piece that might actually be doable – and it had underwear! Yeah, it had one of the most obvious see-through areas over the breasts because it was just a fine mesh with a lace inspired design, but parts of it were satin too, including the underwear. What I liked about it – for the moment – was that it had a slit right down the middle that began just beneath my breasts, and the only reason the top stayed closed was because of satin straps that tied up front. Wearing this, I figured he’d have a hard time keeping his hands off my skin and his
mouth high enough to stay out of trouble.
Jesus. Did I really just think that?
I shook off that pesky brain of mine. I had to stop thinking this was a bad thing. That it was wrong to let him put his hands all over and do what he wanted. He’d already taken everything he possibly could from me. Letting him have me sexually now was hardly going to damage me more than it already had.
Huh. Damaged. Funny. I didn’t actually feel that damaged anymore. I felt trapped, for sure. But my mind must’ve been slowly acclimating to my situation, because I knew deep down that I was going to try to get him to sleep with me tonight. And it didn’t bother me. It didn’t make me want to cry.
Tonight might be the night I get to break him. And for once, I felt like I had the confidence to really sell it.
Several minutes later I stood before the mirror over the double sink granite counter. The hunter green material looked good against my skin. That shouldn’t have surprised me though. It seemed everything he purchased for me was thought out in advance. Everything he’d chosen complemented my hair, skin tone, even my body type, perfectly. It didn’t even bother me that the shape of my nipples were clear as day despite the warm color of this piece. Damn I’d come a long way from the first night I sat whimpering in his lap, cringing over his touch.
I took a deep breath and headed out. He didn’t even bother locking the door to the hall today. More proof that he was beginning to trust me. He was sitting on the sofa reading his book when my feet padded firmly across the hardwood in the hallway. His eyes were already looking up to receive me when I came down the two steps. I ignored him and headed toward the bookshelf that housed the book I was currently reading, Madame Bovary, but that didn’t mean I didn’t notice the way his head bobbed back when he saw me. I gave him a timid half-smile as I took up the opposite end of the sofa. Leaning back, I brought my knees into my chest to lay the book on. I had just found my place and began reading the first paragraph when he said, “Interesting selection. That’s from the bottom drawer, correct?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I murmured without any real interest, attention remaining focused on my book.
“Something wrong with the top drawer selection?”
I couldn’t help but let out an amused chuckle. “Seriously?” I asked as I turned to him, his even eyes intent on mine. “Did you hear what you just said?”
“I did,” he replied, closing his book, keeping his place with his thumb.
“Look, I’m sorry if I’m turning you on and making you rethink this whole monk thing you’ve got going on, but sometimes a girl just needs a pair of underwear.”
“You want underwear?” he said blandly.
“Yes!”
“Fine. You may keep the pair on. Go back to the closet and change into something from the top drawer.”
I think my jaw might’ve actually fallen off. “You’re serious?”
He leaned across the sofa and swiped my book from me. “Very.” Pointing towards the hall, he said, “Go.”
Dumbstruck, I stood to my feet, slowly walking away. But then I paused and walked back to him, stopping two feet shy, my hands moving to my hips. He took in a breath, but I could tell it was more from agitation than anything. He was clearly unnerved at the moment. And he hated it!
“You’re very confusing.”
“Noted,” he replied, waving me off. But I didn’t go. Not just yet. My hands lifted to take a tie in each hand, slowly pulling. His eyes locked hard on the movement. Not sure why really. My breasts were clear as day in this piece. Removing the barely-there material covering them up was hardly a drastic change, but he was caught up in the seductive way I was doing it. But just when I pulled the bow free and was pulling the two pieces away from my breasts, I turned away, not allowing him to see. The green silk was behind me on the living room floor before I even made it to the stairs.
“Fine,” I simply replied, walking off in nothing but my newly earned underwear. I went to the closet and pulled a pink satin slip to put on. Walking back out, the green material was still on the floor. I stepped over it and paused in front of him again, doing a little spin and curtsy. “Better?”
“Much.” He pointed to my book at the end of the sofa, basically telling me to be a good little girl and read my book out of reach. But I didn’t. Instead, I climbed onto his lap – unopposed, I might add – tossed his book to mine, and wrapped one hand behind his neck as the other pulled his reading glasses off and set them aside.
“What are you doing?” he asked evenly. There was no anger, no excitement, only indifference.
“Ssshhh…” I teased, laying my finger across his lips. With a wicked smile, I added, “No one says we have to take anything off.” I didn’t wait to hear a response. I connected our mouths, working to open his with my own. Several kisses later his mouth had succumbed to the rhythm of mine and his hands softly wrapped around to the back side of my hips. But once I began rocking my lower body against his, he broke the kiss.
Seriously. What the hell was going on? How the hell did his interest completely flip?
“Natalie,” he said firmly, yet softly at the same time. “What are you doing?”
“Why do you keep asking me that? You want me to live here with you yet completely thwart my advance when I’m willing to make one. Seriously. You’re not boosting my confidence any.” I angled my eyes at him playfully. “Unless you don’t want me to have any.”
He ignored that last observation to focus on the former. “So why are you throwing yourself at me?”
I flung my palms to my eyes and groaned miserably, then I threw them down where they waved about during my tantrum. “What fucked up Freaky-Friday world have I woken up to? I sleep for a few days and suddenly I wake up to a world where you don’t want to touch me, all I want to do is touch you, and I’m granted panties to sit in but it’s completely pointless because I’m so damn wet right now they’re actually uncomfortable!”
I let out a dramatic ugh!, shoved my palms against his chest and climbed back off, crying, “Fuck it! I’m going for another shower.”
I stormed off and headed straight for the bathroom. I wasn’t kidding about my underwear being wet, which of course was only going to happen on the one day I was given a pair to wear. I had my slip over my head the moment I stepped through the door, making a beeline for the shower, hopping out of the green satin wrapped around my hips.
I turned on the water and stood forward in the stream, completely soaking my hair and letting the hot water flow down my back until it should’ve turned red. Then I fired up the misters and waited for the shower area to fill with thousands of tiny droplets. I gasped when his naked body pressed against mine from behind, but it wasn’t from the contact. His left hand had wrapped around me, a single finger slipping inside me, checking the validity of my outburst. Yeah, I wasn’t lying about being wet already. Normally, I would’ve been completely disturbed by that, but I wasn’t. Nor was I disturbed when his face lit up discovering how very wet I really was, and how I’d come to him willingly to take care of it. Whether he believed the intentions of my advance or not, he wasn’t going to waste an opportunity.
It lit a fury within him. His mouth was rough against my neck, and I found myself raising on my tippy-toes to push more into his bites. Judging by the pressure poking into my lower back, he was ready to go, too. Guess that little green number did its job after all. And as much as I liked the way his hands were feeling me up top to bottom, I wasn’t in need of foreplay. I reached back and took his dick into my hand, thumbing the tip as I–
He shoved me chest first into the shower wall. Kneeing my legs apart, he guided his dick between my legs, barely pushing in. My body was so damn exhilarated he had me breathless as his hands slid up my arms and pinned both palms to the wall beside me, sufficiently trapping me in with his heated flesh. Hoarsely, he whispered into my ear, “Is this what you were wanting?” He pushed in a tiny bit more, and I was ashamed how easily that excited my fucking body.
“No,�
� I answered over a raspy exhalation.
He backed off completely, every inch of my skin exposed, begging for him to return. I twisted around, catching the bothered and confused look before it returned to that nonchalant, I-don’t-give-a-fuck look he was so good at. Before he could do anything as stupid as stalk out, I anchored my hands on his shoulders and jumped up. He instinctively caught my ass and lifted as I wrapped my legs around his hips. My hands swept around his neck and I kissed him, which he wasn’t all that interested in returning. I didn’t care and kept right on at it. “Quit. Turning. Me around,” I told him boldly, pulling on his hair until his neck extended back. I left a wake of bites down his jawline. “I want to see you fuck me.”
God fucking help me for saying that.
I didn’t need to see his face to know the change had happened again. The growl vibrating the skin of the throat I was kissing was enough. For the second time in one minute, he pinned me against the shower wall, his mouth coming down, practically eating mine it was so eager. I forced myself to return the sentiment, yanking on his roots as I bit down on his bottom lip, raking it through my teeth. A hint of copper flavored our kiss as he guided his dick and shoved inside me. I abandoned his mouth and rolled my head back, moaning as I accepted his length completely. His lips made their way along my collarbone and up my neck, my chest heaving. As our mouths reconnected, he began his first round of extended thrusts, stimulating my lower body with tingles that shook me from the inside out.
We kept our eyes open and set on one another, lost in a rhythmic daze, our mouths hung open, tongues wetting our lips as they waited for their next chance to connect. The mist was finally beginning to make his skin shine like mine.
I’d never seen him look at me this way. Usually, he got off on traumatizing me, knowing I was giving him something not because I wanted to, but because I had to. But that wasn’t happening this time. He wasn’t trying to make me feel used, and in return, my hips were rubbing against his, seemingly begging for him to continue. His hazel eyes warmed, the green beating back and thinning the gold ring, looking at me with a mixture of desire and longing. His kisses were hard and succulent as they bit into whatever skin he could reach, usually my neck and jaw.
NEARLY Trilogy Page 45