Xavier chose the room next to theirs. He placed his palm over it, curiously examining it. I went next. The bronze metal heated up for a count of two seconds, then cooled back off before the lock disengaged.
Interesting.
I didn’t follow Xavier into the room yet. I was hoping he would fall asleep before I had to join him. Besides, I wanted to make sure Addie was all right. It was a sentiment that would have infuriated her, so I searched around for an excuse.
“We should make sure yours works,” I said.
She put her free hand on the bronze plate and waited a moment. Nothing happened.
The Princess
“Highness,” the voice was laced with exasperation. “Wherever you’re hiding, you may as well come out. Your mother has declared your punishment will only increase with each hour the staff spends looking for you.”
The Princess could hear her governess’s typically-impatient tones echoing off the walls outside the vent she had situated herself in. She couldn’t see the speaker, though, through the steeply slanted slats.
“She deserves it, if you ask me.” This voice sounded younger. A lesser servant, the Princess guessed.
“Hush. Someone will hear you,” a third woman admonished.
“No one who heard me would disagree. The entire queendom knows what an unconscionable brat the youngest princess is. Thank HiLa’s memory she’ll never be queen.”
The Princess’s cheeks heated with anger, but she wouldn’t reveal her hiding spot just to put the woman in her place. Especially since she could hardly argue. She knew what the Levelian people thought of her, what her own mother thought. The queen herself could have overheard the woman and she likely would not have been punished.
The only person who ever stood up for her was —
“Is that a thought you care to repeat to me, Privus JoCelyn?” Auntie SuEllen’s voice resounded through the halls.
“Captain, I was only saying —”
“The question was rhetorical. I heard exactly what you said. You would be wise not to say it again, here or anywhere else, unless your burning desire to scrub latrines for the next decade outweighs your good sense.”
Every woman who worked in the castle was part of the Legion, headed up by Captain Emery. SuEllen had nearly as much power as the queen herself. All that mattered to the Princess, though, was that her aunt had defended her at all. Not to say she didn’t feel a surge of satisfaction at the stuttering and backpedaling that ensued.
“I will take over the search now. On with you three.”
“Yes, Captain.”
The Princess must have missed the nearing of her Aunt’s footsteps in the resulting clatter of boots on the tiled hallway. The next thing she knew, the vent she was leaning against wrenched open and she unceremoniously spilled onto the floor. Captain Emery was looking down on her, wry amusement lifting her ordinarily-stern features.
“Oh, PeNelope. What am I going to do with you?”
Chapter Eighteen
ADELAIDE
Why is this my life? I just wanted to get in my cabin and be alone to have the panic attack that had been creeping in on me since the boat got attacked. And my lock wasn’t working. It got warm, but it didn’t click.
I put my hand on it again, concentrating on keeping my trembling at bay. It was bad enough Clark had seen me act like a psycho earlier today.
Had that only been a few hours ago? I didn’t need to lose it in front of him again. I tried once more with the lock.
Still nothing.
I kicked the door, which, of course, hurt. Curse Nell and her games. I was two seconds from storming up to the captain’s cabin and dragging her out of bed to fix my lock, maybe yelling at her along the way, when Clark stepped closer. He put his palm over my lock, and it disengaged.
Right. It had needed two palms. Somehow, I thought it unlikely the captain had not foreseen that problem. Is she in on it, too? Or am I getting overly suspicious in my mounting insanity? I didn’t know why I was bothering to go to my cabin at all. Maybe I can just wait until Clark leaves and sneak back on deck to lay in the open air. I wasn’t sleeping anyway. Not after my last nap had ended in an attack on our ship.
I gave him a tight, polite smile, opening the door. Shensi sauntered in without hesitation.
“Thanks for your help.” I tacked on a fake yawn. “Goodnight.”
He arched an eyebrow to let me know he knew I was faking. Damn him. Couldn’t he just play the game like everyone else and pretend he believed I was tired? I started to push past him to get into my room, but he put a hand on my arm.
He was saying something, but it was lost on me. Because that was the last straw for me. I wrenched my arm back.
“Don’t touch me,” I ground out through teeth that were clenched to keep me from screaming.
He backed away, holding his hands up, and I shut the door in his face. I barely noticed the tiny blue lantern I had no idea how to turn off or the beds that looked plushier than any I’d seen in weeks. I threw my rucksack down, startling my cat, but it wasn’t enough. There was nothing else in the room to throw, though, so I picked up the bag and threw it again, harder this time. The locket with my sister’s ashes fell out, still covered in Jethro’s blood.
I backed away from it until I hit the wall behind me, then I sank down to the floor. I ran shaky fingers through my hair, pressing into my skull in an attempt to alleviate the pressure building there, but it didn’t help. My pulse was racing, and I realized I was sobbing, staring at that damned locket.
I wanted my sister more than I had ever wanted anything. I wanted her gentle smiles and her subtle wit and her protective, comforting presence. None of this would have happened if she had still been alive. I wouldn’t be this broken, haphazard shell of a person who lashed out and closed down and stabbed people.
And stabbed people…
I knew that last thought was incongruous, but it was also the one running in a loop through my head. I ran my fingernails over my arms, digging them in deeper with each pass.
Strong, warm hands tentatively covered my own.
“You’re hurting yourself.” I looked up to find Clark crouched next to me. Of course. The bastard could open my door.
“Get out.” I wanted to yell the words, but it came out more as a plea.
“No,” he said simply.
“I hate you.”
“I know.” His deep blue eyes were staring intently into my own, and there it was, looming before me. All I needed, an outlet, another way to dull the pain.
I leaned toward him and pressed my lips against his. I pulled my hands out from under his and put them on his chest. Here was something I could do, something I could control.
“Addie-”
“Shh.”
“Addie-”
I was so wrapped up in my own head that it took me a moment to realize he wasn’t kissing me back. I pulled back, narrowing my eyes. Had I managed to misread everything?
“This isn’t right, Addie.”
“Funny, that’s never seemed to bother you before.” But it had, I realized. Suddenly, this felt terribly familiar. Had I honestly forgotten he had rejected me once already? Humiliation burned through me, but I refused to let it show.
“You know what? It’s fine. I’m fine now. Thanks so much for invading my space to check on me, but you can go now. Have a lovely evening.” I got to my feet and faced away from him, putting every ounce of steel I could muster into my heiress face.
“Addie, we should —”
“Go, Clark. Don’t make me call the captain.” I didn’t turn to see his expression. I just tried to make myself busy, turning my covers down until the sound of his footsteps and the heavy door told me he was gone.
I sank into the bed with my head in my hands, unable to stop the sobs racking through my body and hardly recognizing myself for them. Shensi came back to join me, and her presence helped me to gradually calm down. The cat had probably borne witness to more of my grief than any othe
r living thing. Locke was possibly a close second, and then there was… Clark.
Oh, Ami. I wish you were here to stop me from making such a mess of things. Instead, it was just me and my superior powers of alienation, striking again.
*********************
I opted to stay in my cabin for most of the next day. My body was used to going without food by now anyway, and I didn’t especially crave any non-feline company. I ignored several knocks until a familiar voice wafted through the door.
“He’s not out here, Addie. Just open the door.”
I wrenched it open. “How did you know?” I asked my best friend.
“It was a lucky guess you just confirmed.” She danced into my room, holding an open can of sardines for Shensi. At least, I hoped they were for Shensi.
Seeing her next to the cat, I realized I still hadn’t thanked her for bringing me my tiny comforter.
“It means a lot that you brought Shensi for me,” I blurted out, still uncomfortable with sharing actual emotions with Nell.
She studied me for a moment.
“It really was the least I could do, but I’m glad you were happy to see her.”
That was an understatement. That fat, fluffy cat had been a lifeline for me these past days, and I was willing to bet Nell knew that.
Unlike me, my best friend appeared well-rested and fresh-faced. Her long hair was shiny and recently brushed, and her emerald eyes were sparkling. I had never thought how lonely she must be without any of her family or people around, but the selfish part of me wondered where that left me now.
“Did you get to catch up with your aunt?” I asked her.
“I did. And now I’m here to catch up with you.” She settled on my bed, placing the can on the ground when Shensi was already winding around Nell’s legs. “Addie, I haven’t pushed you about your bruises, because I know what it is to have things you don’t want to talk about, but you’re falling apart over here. You don’t have to talk to me and you don’t have to talk right now, but you do have to talk to someone at some point.”
“And at some point, I’m sure I will.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Some point soon.”
“Sure.” Soon was relative. “In the meantime, maybe you can tell me why an entire ship full of women just bowed to you before they even heard your name.”
Nell’s face took on a resigned expression. “I did tell you I knew your life as a royal would be stifling.”
My lips parted, though the news wasn’t terribly surprising in light of last night.
“Before you get too excited, though,” Nell continued, “I was just a minor princess, many times removed from the possibility of inheriting the crown. I’m honestly a bit surprised they even bothered with the bow, but it was probably just instinctual. Everyone in the royal family has this.” She pointed to the silver streak in her hair.
“Thank you for telling me the truth.”
“I should have told you sooner. I just didn’t want to talk about it. I honestly didn’t think it would ever come up in my life again.”
“I understand.” Maybe I wouldn’t have before, but I did now.
“I almost forgot the other reason I came. You have your first assignment.”
That should be interesting. I hadn’t done chores since my family relocated to Central Island.
Nell laughed at my expression. “Don’t worry. It will be a good thing. And you’ll need that.” She pointed to the dagger and holster I had finally managed to unbuckle last night and had left in a heap on the floor.
I stared at it dubiously.
“You don’t know how to buckle it, do you?” Nell shook her head.
Admittedly, I had been a bit distracted when Clark had been showing it to me last night. A lot distracted. Then, when I had been removing it, I pulled the threading out of the complicated loops without bothering to pay attention. My expression must have given me away again. I had never bothered to shield it with Nell.
“Come on,” Nell said, stepping toward the dagger and sheath. “I’ll show you.”
My experience with Nell showing me how to wear the contraption was vastly different from the one with Clark, but by the end, I thought I had a handle on it for next time. She also showed me how I could tighten it to go on my calf under a boot if I needed to. Wearing the weapon still filled me with uncertainty, but I started to think I could get used to its comforting weight.
Before we left, Nell handed me a comb from the drawer. I braved the mirror for the first time since boarding the Court of Yomi’s ship. What I saw had me staggering back.
My face didn’t look like me. It was thin, and the entire right side from the center of my cheekbone around to my head was a mottled purple and yellow bruise. My now-shorter hair, however, did look pretty great after a brushing, so that was a small win. I decided to take it. I left the cabin without glancing back.
Nell brought me to the main deck. I didn’t run into Clark, but I did see Gunther repairing something on the ballast. I walked over and tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around.
“I love my hair.” I pointed to it. Then I squeezed his gloved hand. “Thank you.” I sensed he knew I was talking about more than just my hair. I had wrecked things with his brother, but Gunther deserved to know I appreciated him.
“Any time,” he said.
I let him go back to his work and followed Nell. We passed women of all ages, and even a few children. It was slow going, because they each wanted to greet us as we went, particularly Nell. The children wore their long, dark hair in two braids, whereas the adults only had one. They all wore loose trousers and tunics with slits for movement, both made of linen. From beneath the long sleeves, I spotted an intricate swirling tattoo on a few wrists.
Nell brought me up another deck. SuEllen was waiting there along with another equally-tall woman. It was clear they had the same heritage, but SuEllen’s cheekbones were slightly more defined, her face a little more graceful. The woman beside her was also pretty. Her face was wider, and her eyes were gray.
“I am told you don’t know how to fight,” SuEllen said.
“No. They tried to teach me, but I’m hopeless.”
SuEllen scoffed. “By they, you mean the men you came with?”
I nodded.
“What do men know about teaching women? MeLina will train you.”
The woman next to her smiled. I hesitated, and the captain stepped closer to me.
“It is true you are small,” SuEllen said, “but you are not powerless, girl. We will make sure this,” she pointed to my face, “does not happen again.”
I looked down in shame, but she put a hand under my chin and pulled it up.
“One of the greatest failings of this part of the world is when women are forced to take blame for a man’s actions. This was not your fault. In Levelia, whoever did this to you would have been castrated, for a man who would attack a woman is no man at all. At least,” she exchanged a glance with Nell, “that’s how it used to be.”
Tears stung at my eyes. I should have thanked her, but that would have felt too much like an admission.
“All right,” was all I said.
“Then let’s begin.”
The Princess
PeNelope Silbeque was the youngest of five sisters. She also had three brothers, two younger and one older, but they didn’t factor into the line of succession. In truth, neither did PeNelope. Her oldest sister, JeSina would marry and have children of her own, and the succession would continue down that line. If something were to happen to JeSina, then MaRiela and her children would continue the line. So it went for her next two sisters.
That didn’t bother PeNelope, though. She hated everything about the confines of the Bastion, from her strictly regimented schedule to the whispered judgments or outspoken admonitions that followed her down the corridors.
“Highness, you’re smiling too freely again. The monarchy must behave with decorum.”
“Princess PeNelope brings shame to our
people with her undisciplined ways.”
“PeNelope, if you mention the world outside one more time, it’s the switch for you.”
Once, her father’s kindness had tempered her mother’s indifference and the Court’s scathing words. He, too, had been fascinated by the world outside. But even the rarest crystals the Levelian land had to offer were no combatant for cancer. PeNelope’s father had left this world and taken the last remaining warmth from her mother with him.
Her sisters weren’t cruel so much as they genuinely didn’t understand her constant desire to evade training and tutoring and highbrow functions. They could most often be seen shaking their heads at her antics, wondering why their youngest sister couldn’t manage to behave.
Even her free-spirited brothers couldn’t comprehend why she questioned life here, why she wondered what else was out there.
So, at eight years old, PeNelope didn’t care about succession or inheriting the queendom. All she wanted was to find a way to leave the stifling island and never come back.
Chapter Nineteen
CLARK
I still wasn’t sure what the hell had happened the night before. At this rate, I would never get the chance to find out. Xav, Locke, and I were put to the most grueling tasks the ship had, while Gunther’s considerable mechanical skills were being put to use. Xav grumbled about not being in the sick bay, but SuEllen pointedly informed him that the women would not take kindly to having a man treat them.
And for all the Captain had threatened our lives for harassing the women, she didn’t seem to have any problem with the reverse.
The women may not have initially warmed to the idea of men in their space, but they didn’t seem to have a problem with the opposite sex in general. I had discovered quite the stash of prophylactics in the dresser drawers, next to several more benign books.
We had stripped our shirts off early on, as the ship sailed into a warmer climate. Since then, pointed looks and more than a few whistles had followed us around the boat. I was starting to be grateful for the locks on our doors.
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