by A. J. Downey
You could just see their wide, little boy glee-filled smiles stretching their faces. Even under the wraps and bandanas covering their mouths and noses from the bugs and grit of the road.
We were almost home… and that was another thing I felt as though I was falling over. Maverick’s house had really started to feel like home over the last few weeks. I was actually excited to get back there. To the much cleaner little house I’d left behind. I’d put some work into it, and I was beginning to love it like it was my own – which I knew was a bad idea but still…
Someday, if I were ever lucky enough to own a house of my own for me and Mateo, I would want it to be like Maverick’s. Big enough that we had our own space and we weren’t tripping over each other all the time – just the two of us.
Except things were rapidly changing, were rapidly becoming different. Instead of the thought of it just being me and Mateo giving me the wings it usually did, this time it made me hold on to Maverick a little tighter.
I didn’t want to let him go, but I would if I had to.
There was a big difference between want and need and I had learned that difference long ago.
Did I want Maverick?
Yes.
Did I need him?
Once, I would have said ‘no’ but now? I… I didn’t know. Not anymore.
Chapter Seventeen
Maverick…
I just wanted a hot shower and my own fuckin’ bed. Instead, I took a hard left at I-5, waved at the boys to fall in and bypassed the West Seattle Bridge exit which would have taken my ass toward home in favor of hitting up the Corson Ave/Michigan St. exit to go to the club. It was a short jaunt down Michigan, up over the 1st Ave S. drawbridge, the grating over the water setting my damn teeth on edge, then the Myers Way/White Center exit.
There were one of two routes to take from there. The fastest was up the absolute fucking beast of a hill that was Roxbury, the other was straight and a little longer and more convoluted up Myers Way and through some smaller back streets up through the Top Hat neighborhood which was riddled with weed shops cropping up every which way now that the shit was legal.
In the interest of expediency, I took Roxbury, powering up the hill and hitting every green light thankfully. I swung left on 15th SW and slowed as I approached the club on the right and the boneyard on the left.
Marisol obediently hopped off the back of the bike without being asked so I could back it in. The guys followed suit as she stood by wearily and worked the chin strap free of its D rings.
I shut off the bike and as the last engine cut, I asked her, “You alright?”
“Tired as fuck,” she complained. “I thought we were going home.”
“Soon,” I promised. “Gotta debrief.”
“Is everybody here already?” she asked.
“No, but they should be here PDQ.”
“PDQ?”
I smiled, sometimes it was easy to forget she was so young.
“Pretty Damn Quick,” I explained.
She didn’t look thrilled, but she didn’t complain, either. She simply nodded tiredly and kept her mouth shut and I appreciated that she didn’t give me any shit so I got up, hooked a hand behind her head tenderly, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
She sighed out in such a way I couldn’t identify the meaning behind it, but I could tell you that I liked it. The way the tension drained from her sexy form, the way she swayed gently on her feet, and especially the way she tucked herself beneath my arm as I led her across the street to the back door of the club where Little Bird stood, reaching out, grasping with her hands, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly.
“You’re home early!” she cried as we approached the back step.
“Something came up,” I said, giving her a one-armed hug as I went by, digging the feel of having two beautiful women, one in each arm, for the fleeting moment I had them both there.
“Hey, Kestrel,” I murmured. “Good to be home.”
She left my embrace and went to hug my little zaychik enthusiastically. Marisol smiled and it was a genuine one, not forced in the slightest. I could read my girl like a book for the most part now. The barriers had all come toppling down with her confession. I was determined now, to build her a strong foundation but to do it, I would need help.
“How are you?” Little Bird asked her, and my girl smiled tiredly, her bandana around her neck.
“Tired,” Marisol murmured.
“Let me get her comfortable,” I said with a chuckle. “It was a long ride.”
“Of course! You want me to order some food? Are you guys hungry?”
“Oh, man! I’m fuckin’ starving!” Nine called out on the approach.
“Somebody say food?” Cipher asked, perking up.
“In a minute, it’s gotta be ordered,” I called back.
“Fuck,” Tic-Tac griped.
“Fen, what’s wrong with you?” Little Bird asked alarmed. I looked back at my enforcer who looked like he was hurting. He held an arm stiff across his middle and chuckled.
“Just played a little too hard, babes. It’s all good…”
I went in the back door of my club, past my office, and took Marisol to the front, and the ring of leather couches and love seats around the thick glass and iron coffee table. I eased her down on the couch and kneeled in front of her, putting a booted foot atop my thigh, covered by my chaps, to work at the laces.
“What are you doing?” she asked with a tired laugh.
“Taking care of my lady. Making sure she’s comfortable,” I murmured.
Deacon came in the front door and looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. I ignored the look and went back to tugging on Marisol’s laces telling our chaplain, “Go dig out a bottle of antibiotics from our stores and make sure Fen takes ‘em. Check and see if we got any painkillers, but he’s allowed to be a stubborn asshole about those.”
“He get hurt?” Deac asked and I shook my head some.
“Slash across the belly. Some stitches. Way he’s holding himself and how much pain he’s in leads me to believe he might have scored an infection. Check him out for me.”
“You got it, man.”
Deacon moved past me and into the club, disappearing into my office to hit up the cache well hidden from any LEO’s that could come lookin’ while I tended to my girl.
“Thirsty?” I asked her.
“Yeah,” she said softly.
“Yo, Little Bird?”
“Yeah?” My SAA’s woman looked up from under Fen’s arm as she helped him into a seat nearby.
“Could you get my woman a drink?” I asked.
“Sure! What you want?” she asked.
Marisol smiled and said, “A Coke, if you’ve got it.”
“Sure do.”
I slid her boot off and worked on the other one, cursing at the knots she put in her laces.
“Damn, girl.”
“I can do it, if you’d like,” she said with a mischievous smile.
“Naw, I got it,” I said, and I did, pulling the laces loose and easing the other boot off her, setting the footwear aside.
“Thank you,” she murmured, and I smiled up at her, massaging the tops of her thighs through her layers of chaps and jeans.
“Curl up, get comfortable, food’ll be on the way soon. You just relax and let me take care of some business and we’ll be home before you know it.”
“Okay.” Her smile grew and I leaned up and kissed her. When we parted, Little Bird held down a sparkling bar glass of Coke to my girl who took it and smiled up at the other woman.
“Thanks.”
I stood up and let them catch up, Little Bird bursting with questions about the trip. Dump Truck was on his phone by the bar and I raised an eyebrow. He lifted his chin and flashed the screen at me, putting in an order for food at the bomb-ass mom-and-pop Italian place across 16th in front of the club.
“Thanks, man. Round everybody up, bring food into the chapel, we got a lotta ground
to cover.”
“What you want?” he asked me. I shook my head. I was hungry, but I was also tapped out on decision-making.
“Just surprise me,” I said.
He nodded gravely and shot back, “I got you.”
“Thanks.”
I went into the chapel and dropped wearily into the seat at the head of the table, leaning back heavily and closing my eyes for a minute.
“Hey, Mav.” I looked up and Deacon leaned in the doorway, holding up a beer.
“You’re saving my life, brother,” I said, and he came in, setting down a coaster and the pint glass atop it in front of me.
“Soul seems heavy,” he commented slyly. “You alright?”
“Naw, man. I’m not. I’m really not,” I said. “But in the interest of not repeating myself, I’d rather wait until everyone is here.”
“I got you,” he said and gripped my shoulder as he stood up. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.”
I nodded and drank some of my beer, washing some of the lingering road dust out of my mouth and down my throat. God, there was nothing better than a cold beer after a long, hot ride. So fucking good.
I rested a while, waiting for the stragglers to arrive and for the food to get here. Little Bird brought me a fresh beer and some dinner, and I raised an eyebrow.
“She’s out cold. Once you guys get started, I’ll wake her up and make sure she eats.”
I nodded and said, “Thanks, beautiful.”
Her lips quirked and she leaned a hip against the table, crossing her arms lightly over her stomach.
“What happened out there, Mav?”
“That’s something for her to tell,” I said with a reluctant sigh, knowing that my zaychik wouldn’t say shit.
“What can you tell me?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I said finally and looked up. “Can I ask you something? A favor…”
“After all you and the club have done for me?” she countered. “You can ask me anything.”
“Just look out for her. I want her to stay but she needs some… encouragement.”
“You mean try to get Dahlia to soften up toward her?” she asked me and gave me a knowing look.
I nodded slowly and said, “If you can.”
Kestrel rolled her eyes and threw up her hands, bringing them down with a light slap against her denim-clad thighs.
“You aren’t asking much with that one, are you?” she asked wryly. When I didn’t answer, she sighed. “The only person Dahlia even comes close to listening to is you, but I’ll do what I can.”
“Thanks.”
“Have you tried talking to Dahlia?” she asked.
I swore softly. “It’s been kind of low on my priority list,” I confessed. I needed to, though. I mean, I really needed to.
“And that can’t change anytime soon?” Her voice was gentle, no accusation to it but I felt accused all the same and rightfully so. Dahlia was my best friend and even though we were both stubborn mules, the silence of the last couple weeks was long, even for us.
“You made your point, Little Bird,” I said with a fond smile. Her smile was small but sweet in return. She swept her hair over her shoulder and pushed off the table.
She had one seriously fine ass, and I helped myself to the view as she walked out like I had a million times before, only this time… I felt a tad guilty for it when my thoughts drifted back to Marisol.
That was new. I’d never had the occasion to feel guilty just for looking before.
I puzzled it out as I unwrapped my sandwich and waited for the guys to start filtering in with theirs.
Pretty soon, we were all seated except for Derry, who was waiting out in the bar for us to pull him in.
“Right, to order.” I popped the gavel once and let it fall to the table with a clatter, to go for my sandwich. Before I took another bite, I got into the first order of business.
“Derry’s been given the blessing from National to pull a lateral move into our ranks. Let’s get that settled first. All in favor of accepting Derry into our ranks?”
Every hand went up and I nodded.
“So ordered, go on and get him in here.”
Major popped up out of his seat and stuck his head out, looking up the hall.
“Hey Derry, leave your phone out there and come on in, okay?”
“Ho, yup!”
We listened to Derry heave himself up and the clatter of his phone hitting the bar.
“Watch this,” Glass Jaw whispered loudly and snickered. I laughed lightly and we all schooled our faces into neutral expressions for the gag.
Derry came in and froze inside the door as we all looked at him.
“Why do I suddenly feel like a fuckin’ prospect?” he demanded, and we all started losing our shit before Glass could even say whatever it was, he was going to say.
“Fuck, man. You ruined the gag,” Glass said, wiping tears.
“Yeah, we voted. You’re good, bro. Take a seat.”
Derry laughed and shook his head. “Man, you almost had me,” he said.
“Right, I don’t know about you all, but I’m tired as fuck so let’s get on with it…”
I went over the decisions regarding Eastern Washington and the plan. Everyone listened intently and there were nods. A few of those nods were accompanied by grim looks.
“We know who, yet?” Dump Truck asked.
“Some,” I said. “The rest remain yet to be seen.”
I went over who I knew would be moving in to take care of things next door and who I knew they were thinking about but had yet to confirm.
“Sounds like the bottom line is we’re gonna be picking up the slack for a while,” Deacon said.
I nodded.
“That is true.”
“This can’t be the reason you’re back so damn early, though,” Dump Truck said sagely.
I shook my head.
“Now that is personal,” I declared, and everyone stopped everything. I mean, some of the fellas stopped mid-chew.
“Ain’t nothing ever personal with you,” Major said, tucking some of his dreads back.
“This time, it is…” Glass Jaw looked grim.
“What’s going on?” Deacon asked, leaning back in his seat and I felt like shit, I really did, but I sat there and chose club over my woman once again and betrayed her all over. I told them her story.
Chapter Eighteen
Marisol…
“Hey, you hungry?” Little Bird shook my shoulder and I startled awake. She held out a paper wrapped something that smelled divine. I had been about to wave her off and tell her ‘no’ until the smell hit me. I quickly changed my mind and pushed myself up into a sitting position.
“Mm, thank you.”
“No problem.”
Inside was the most amazing Italian sub sandwich I had ever put in my face. I looked up at Kestrel, eyes wide and cocked my head.
“Where did this come from?” I asked around my mouthful of food.
She laughed and pointed at the front door saying, “White Center Pizza and Spaghetti House. It’s right out the front door, across the parking lot on the other side of 16th. Best Italian food I’ve ever had, and I don’t think we’ve ever actually gotten the pizza from there. We always get the lasagna or the grinders.”
“What’s a grinder?” I asked, swallowing the bite of my sub.
She laughed and said, “You’re eating one.”
“Why do they call them that?” I wondered.
“Beats me. I said the same thing. It’s a toasted sub.”
I stopped and asked quietly, “How long have they been in there?”
“Awhile,” she said and searched my face. “Derry went back almost an hour ago. You were out and I didn’t want to wake you, but I promised Mav I would make sure you got something to eat.”
“Thanks,” I murmured and sighed heavily.
“I remember that feeling,” she said.
“What feeling?”
“The wei
ght of knowing they’re in there talking about you. Not knowing what’s going to happen, not knowing what they’re saying…”
I barked a bitter laugh and shook my head, my appetite fleeing.
“I know what they’re saying,” I told her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, though.”
“Whatever it is,” she said putting her hand over mine, “it’s going to be okay.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
She hesitated and I smiled, knowing it was brittle with jagged edges, but Lord knows, I had never been able to deliver my face from evil. Just about everything I thought was broadcast there, especially when I was this tired.
“No, it’s not like that!” she cried.
“Like what?”
“It’s not you… it’s me.”
I laughed slightly but the alarmed look on her face wiped the smile right off mine. We sat in silence searching each other’s faces with caution and I said, “You’re going to have to go first…”
Holy shit did she have a story. One that could get her and her man in a whole lot of trouble!
“Why are you trusting me with this?” I asked quietly.
“Because I really can’t express hard enough how trustworthy these guys are otherwise,” she said.
I set my sandwich aside on the glass coffee table’s top and scrubbed my face with my hands.
“You know what they do?” I asked.
She wouldn’t look at me right away and finally said, “I have a really good idea, but I know better than to talk about it. It’s as much for their safety as for mine. Not that I think they would hurt me. They’ve done so much for me.”
I chewed my bottom lip, my thoughts racing and said finally, “I don’t know what to do or what to think. The only reason I’m here, the only reason I do anything is for Mateo. He’s the only family I have left as far as I’m concerned.”
Her brow wrinkled and I took a deep breath.
She would know anyway. I would rather she hears it from me than from her man like some fucked-up high school gossip game.
I was about to confess my shame when the door to the chapel opened and the men started filing out, all with grim expressions on their faces that made my heart sink.