Over the years, Icaz had grown cautious about how he used his medallion on Luminear. He had learned this lesson the hard way when the power inside her manifested in front of his eyes. There had only been three occasions where Icaz had conjured from deep within her since the original attempt with Lonewolf. The first time was a few months into imprisonment. Only after painstaking hours of medallion brain-tampering did he mesmerize her into latching onto a random servant, ordering her to kill him with her mind. Luminear did not know how it happened, but with her hands, she froze the servant into ice then watched him shatter into nothingness. A couple of years later, Icaz summoned this part of her once more, and she destroyed a guard when out of nowhere, he combusted and went up in flames.
Two innocent lives were taken for no reason and without mercy, thanks to Luminear's gifts. Horrified, Luminear believed herself an abomination and one that needed to be obliterated before she could do any more harm. Alas, this was not her choice. Her captor would decide her fate.
The last time she responded was ten years into captivity. This time no medallion was used. Icaz entered Luminear's cell in one of his extreme fits of anger and began whipping her, using terror and pain to draw the unnatural power out. He assaulted her so badly that by the time he came to his senses, Icaz realized he had cut her and left her bleeding in several places. Once he was aware of Luminear's tears drenching her face, Icaz cried at what he had done and climbed on her to hold Luminear as if to make it all better.
He had become attached to this woman, and it about broke him to see how much he had hurt her, but much like every other thought in Icaz's deranged mind, this moment of caring turned into something else. Impulses shifted from wanting to make everything better, to needing Luminear.
Taken by desire and aroused by her, he found his urges too much to ignore. Icaz tried taking what he wanted, ripping at her clothes, and forcing himself on her. No cries from her would stop his cruel tendency, but something else would. During the assault, the prison cell she had lived in crumbled and began collapsing upon them. The two barely got away before being crushed.
They didn't speak of the incident again. Ever since that occurrence, Icaz kept her by his side, but he never struck her or made Luminear enter a cell again. Although he never mentioned it, he would go into random fits scolding himself and sometimes stabbing himself over and over. Luminear surmised he regretted how he had treated her, as his actions shifted dramatically in the days that followed the happening in the cell.
One thing was for certain, Icaz would no longer attempt such stunts but adopt his best behavior instead. Not only because of the curious affection he felt for his precious prisoner, but in case his mother saw what he was doing and would punish him.
Luminear had been through so much in the last few years that this latest incident changed little for her. The deaths of two innocent people at her hands had broken Luminear. Those acts were so foreign to her nature, twisting against every fiber of her being, while Icaz's actions were no surprise. She had expected as much from him for years. Still, she was shaken. The sick bond of friendship they'd fractionally formed became strained after that.
While lost in her thoughts, a bird flew past her into the room. She didn't even blink in response while Icaz did much more than blink. He dropped the paintbrush upon the floor and jumped up with a smile.
"What's this? We've got a letter from Wolfy," Icaz glanced toward Luminear, who didn't bother turning around. Icaz sneered at her back and hurried across the room to the dresser where he snatched the scroll so fast, the bird flew off in fright but soon landed once more, this time on Luminear's shoulder. "Here it is! What do we have? What do we have?" He unfurled it to read aloud.
I hope this inquiry finds you well, old chap, for it comes bearing the most splendid of news. The war is over. Thanks to Bella and my usual perfect planning, the elves are no more. King Lamruil is dead, and his remnant host fled thereafter. We are prepared to march into Tarrith and take the kingdom under the black cliffs, Crusayla. We're done, old friend. I say grab Lumi and get here as quickly as you can. It's time to reveal what is hidden beyond that kingdom. We'll wait for your arrival and march out together. If you would be so kind as to write me back before you leave, we might meet one another along the way. Be happy. The time, as I always promised, has arrived.
Wolf
The notice was enough to attract Luminear's attention. After Icaz finished reading it, she turned and stepped into the room to stare at Icaz as he laughed. He crumpled the letter before dropping it and turning to Luminear. "I told you the day would come. I knew this night would be a good one. Look at you." Icaz flaunted his hands toward Luminear. "You're so happy you came out of the rain. Dripping mess, you are." He twirled his way to Luminear's side and put his finger upon her wet cheek and danced around her as he played with her hair and face. "We did it! Just for me. And now it's your turn to shine, my lass."
Luminear ignored his crazed happiness and watched him leave her side and kick his painting easel. As the canvas flew, so did the bird once more, and as the canvas crashed against the floor, paint splattered everywhere.
"After this is done, am I free to go?" Luminear asked.
He spun around to her with an angry look and his laughter died in his throat. He lowered his head and loomed forward. "I don't know." He stated it almost in the form of a question to which he seemingly had no answer. "Why do you have to ask me this!" he yelled before taking a deep breath and speaking more deliberately with a calmer tone. "One step at a time. You may be needed after. What if there is more beyond this gate? Perhaps you are done. And me too. Perhaps you will learn how to use your power. Or perhaps you have no power beyond opening this gate." He grew agitated, spitting out the possibilities, "Maybe you die afterward? I don't know! Do you want to leave me?" His calm tone gave way to screaming, but Luminear stared at him blankly.
Unalarmed by the disturbed man, she replied, "Of course not. But you can rid yourself of the inconvenience of caring for me. That is all I meant." Luminear pitied the man. He had talked to her about his perverse wishes for power and control, his need for his mother's approval. What she understood about the unfortunate life he'd been born into had changed her view on him. She saw him as helpless, like a bird that had his wings clipped and feathers sheered. Icaz couldn't help what he was, and if it were in her power, she would kill him just to put him out of his misery. Icaz's obsessive determination to fulfill his mother's wishes and break through this dark mountain had warped him beyond help.
Luminear did not care why she was different, and she only wanted to leave or die. She often blamed herself and wondered why Bella was not like her, sometimes questioning if they were sisters at all. Luminear had heard the story of her origins, according to Icaz, but she doubted his story. His account often changed regarding where he came from because of the memories of Neighraellium, Casen and others interfered with his recollections. Most of what he said made no sense.
"Inconvenience is you leaving me. We're destined for delightful things. You need me, and I need you. Unless mother says otherwise." Icaz ranted on and on, saying the same thing, and she apologized for not being respectful.
"I don't want to leave, but I would like to see Bella. If you are done with me after what happens, then I would like to see her. Not forever, but to visit. Even if only for a day." Luminear tried to explain to him, but he wept in sadness before throwing a fit about needing to be together. His emotions never stayed in one place, for later, he said he couldn't wait to be rid of her, and the sooner they were done, the better.
Shortly after reading the letter, they left into the night. Icaz would not wait and could not be bothered to write Lonewolf back. He did not demand guards accompany them but led her out of the castle, and the two departed the city upon horseback. Luminear's hands were chained, but she could ride on her own. He didn't worry about her attempting to flee, and Luminear did not even consider it. She was a prisoner, and trying to run away would only lead to further vile discours
e and punishment. Besides, where could she go if she broke free? She didn't even know where she was, and seeing the world outside her small confinement was already overwhelming. After years of captivity, she preferred being close to Icaz rather than the big scary world around her, at least until she reached Bella again.
"Seeing Wolf again soon, you will dearie," Icaz said after they passed Magwhen’s city gates. His tone was filled with excitement as he tried to put a smile on her face. Luminear was expressionless as she kept her dead stare toward a great hill before the city. "You never smile anymore." He frowned. "We arrange to see that Bella of yours sometime?" Luminear looked over at him. Her eyes meeting his gaze was enough to tell him she craved this. "You would like that?"
"I would. Please."
"Stay on your best behavior, and we will see." Luminear nodded in appreciation.
A chance to see Bella and the possibility Icaz might free her after she carried out the deed gave her a small glimmer of hope this nightmare might end. Hope had been dangerous for Luminear. She thought she had rid herself of the pesky notion, but now it crept back, or maybe it never fully left her. Perhaps it was that tiny ounce of hope left within her that bound Luminear to the world. It was that hope that prevented her from insanity.
Chapter Four
Living Together Apart
"Here. Take this. It might help,” Markus suggested while passing Bella a tin cup of water. She grasped it and gulped it down. She and Markus lived within the city over the lake Kinelenn along with most of the Divoxian army. Their one-story dwelling had once been a meeting place for elves and featured elegant wooden walls with carvings of random designs along with murals. Markus and Bella shared one bedroom while Fern enjoyed a room to himself. Guards usually stood watch outside to assure none entered the general's home uninvited and to give Bella warning if needed.
Years earlier, soldiers had collected Markus and Fern from Garroth and sent them into Tragmont as to join the army. Neither young man was given a say in the matter, but landing in Tragmont enabled them to reunite with Bella, which pleased them. They thought her newfound loyalty odd, but after Lonewolf explained what had happened to her, Markus and Fern understood.
For the fifth night in a row, Bella woke from a nightmare, startling herself and Markus. She jerked awake, tears streaming down her cheeks, after seeing strange visions in her dreams. Her white nightgown now soaked in sweat, as she shivered involuntarily.
"I don't understand what's happening to me," Bella said after she finished the water and handed the cup back. Markus placed it on a small night table and crawled back into bed next to her.
"We should go to Magwhen," said Markus. "You've too much time on your hands now, and you're thinking too much. The things you've seen and done here are affecting your sleep."
Bella shook her head before resting it upon his bare chest. "No. That’s not the problem. I can deal with what has happened in the war. This is different. I told you that," she complained, irritated by his comments. Lonewolf had said the same thing the day prior. Still, she recognized her splitting headaches and tormented dreams started because of what they had told her. Bella sensed her dreams were some sort of message, but what that message was, escaped her.
"Well, I don't understand. I can't seem to help you here, love. You need a break, and the war is over. Let's see your sister and get away from all this. Wolf said he would approve your dismissal of duties and take over. He said we should live our lives and retire altogether from this. I agree with him," Markus said. "Dreams don't always mean anything."
"These sarding do. Dammit!" Bella pushed herself up as she glared at her husband. She adjusted herself, leaned up against the wooden bed frame, and hugged her knees.
Markus raised both hands in surrender. "I’m sorry." The last thing he wanted to do was further agitate her. ”I don't mean to overstep, but what do they mean? A few dreams with High King Neighraellium Javalla dangling a shiny red orb in your face trying to control you, says you've been taking orders for too long." Bella shot a glance at him to see if he was joking, but he looked serious. "You do great work. Maybe you're struggling to re-find yourself. Afraid of being a wife and sister now after spending so long commanding, battling, and planning. The endless-"
"Stop," Bella interrupted. "You're sick of the war and glad it's over. I am too, but you're just putting thoughts in my head that aren't there. It is not always about the High King. I'm dreaming of things that are so real. It’s as if I'm watching something that already happened. I can't explain it."
"Do you believe these dreams are recovering memories?" Markus had been told Bella's memories of Garroth were distorted because of an injury she received during the siege of Magwhen years ago. Now and then she seemed to remember new details, but then she'd forget again. She’d recall certain events, but each time she closed in on uncovering her memories, something would happen, and the memories would be gone.
"Remembering? I didn't say that. What is there for me to remember?" Bella snapped.
Markus shrugged. "You said you thought you saw something that had already happened to you."
"No. I said already happened. But not to me."
"You are not in your own dreams?"
Bella sighed. She was very much in all of her dreams. "Aye. I am there. I don't want you angry at me if I tell you everything," Bella explained. Markus realized without her saying it, that she was remembering her time with Laelliandir, which didn’t hurt him in the least.
"I won't be," Markus replied. He had already done this with her twice before, so this was like replaying a familiar role. Unfortunately, he suspected before too long she’d wake up having forgotten this current conversation between them all over again.
"Are you sure?" Bella asked.
Markus nodded once more. "Listen, Bella. Let me explain something to you first." She looked at him, waiting for him to finish. "In Magwhen. At the siege in Magwhen years ago. You took a hit to your head. You were unconscious for nearly a month in the care of healers before you woke. Ever since, you've always remembered things differently."
"What? What are you talking about?" Bella rolled out of bed and came to her feet angrily. "I'm not joking. Now is not the time. I remember about my injury. My memory is fine!"
Markus put his hand up, signaling her to stop. "I'm not joking, Bella. You were hurt, and you forgot many things. I've told you this before. You remember more and more, and then you wake up, and it's all gone again. You have a condition. It happens. Wolf explained it is not uncommon for head injuries."
Alarmed at his words, Bella grabbed her head and examined it with her fingers seeking a bump or any evidence of a head injury. Her version of events differed. She had been hurt during the siege, thanks to Laelliandir's rebellion, but she recovered fine, and that was that. Other than not recalling much around that time, she had no reason to believe anything different.
"Stop it!" she yelled as her head pounded while trying to recall the events in Magwhen. Markus reached over and grabbed her by the arm, forcing her to sit back down. "This sarding hurts! Magwhen? Why can't I remember Magwhen?" Bella repeated aloud as she gripped her head and grimaced. Little visions kept flashing into her mind that made no sense to her, and between the visions and the pain in her head, fresh tears gushed. She didn’t notice when Markus wrapped his arms around her and guided her back to lie with him.
"I don't know. I wasn't there. They tell me you rode in without enough training. At some point, you climbed or fought your way onto the wall, and someone shoved you off. When you fell, you hit your head hard. The helmet didn't fully protect your head in the fall. Wolf said you should have died that day," Markus offered comfort as she sobbed, not knowing how to help her. "I've tried to help you remember, and it only makes it worse, and you forget again. I gave up trying years ago. Fern and I." He paused. "Bell?"
Bella heard him, but her recollection of events differed. Try as she might, she could not recall falling during the siege. What she did remember, she spoke aloud.
>
"I stayed on a farm working. Or something odd. I saw Albatros, and I hid from him. I wasn't scared of him, but I was afraid he would stop me from doing what I wanted if he found me," Bella spat out her random thoughts as they came to her. "Hundreds upon hundreds of white riders charged toward Magwhen. I stole a horse and followed them. I entered the city. Was scared. A great battle in the streets. Everything chaotic. I was terrified." She paused, trying to find the missing link but got nothing but a jumbled head, and more pain. "I saved Laelliandir. I was proud, but he was mad, but I followed him. Then Albatros joined us, and he saved us. There was a mansion and a tunnel. I hid out of sight, waiting for something. Laelliandir was in trouble. It was an ambush. I tried to help him, but a man was there." Bella stopped short when she realized the man in her memory had no face. He was a shadow with no voice she could hear. Yet he was talking to her, and she experienced deep betrayal. Then all was black.
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