by Jana LaPelle
She looks at me as I approach and move to check on the twins and save Alaric from this stilted conversation. Whatever has been said has him agitated beyond measure, and that has me on edge. Lindsay always was direct with the guys. She cocks her head and looks at me and then moves her gaze to Lexie.
“Ashlinn? Lexie? My, my, how long has it been? Come June it will be eight years. Wow, you two have not aged at all. What’s your secret?”
I smile tightly at my once good friend, “Hello Lindsey, how are you? I’m surprised to see you here. You always said that once you graduated high school, you were out of here. How was Princeton?”
Her smile turns cold, “Well, if you had of stuck around, then you would have known that I didn’t end up going to Princeton. Although I totally understand after that horrific accident why you and Alexia decided to leave and travel the world, you never came back, and no one knew how to reach you.”
The oldest child has begun shifting nervously on his feet, and I take pity on him, no doubt he has heard some of this before. Leaning down, I smile and ask, “And who might you be? Such a handsome young man.”
He smiles shyly and is about to answer when Lindsey says in a gruff tone, “This is my oldest son, Jason, Jr. You remember Jason don’t you? Captain of the football team back then, well we kind of hooked up. No one knew what we were up to, it was our private little affair until I ended up pregnant and we ended up getting married in September of the year you two disappeared. Jason worked his way through college here locally, and I became a housewife and mother of three going on four.” Her words are bitter, and her children sense her unhappiness.
I study her for a long moment, before looking at her children and saying, “Lindsay, you have a beautiful family. You must be very thankful for all that you have.”
“Well, Jason is a looker, but I have to say that you and Alexia have snagged two of the most gorgeous men that I have ever laid eyes on. They are totally devoted to the two of you, where ever did you find them?” She asks in her Kentucky drawl.
“The old country, in Ireland, we spent quite a bit of time there and yes my husband is hands down the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Well, it’s been really good seeing you again, but the twins are in need of being fed so we must be on our way. I’m sure you understand.” I say.
“Are you nursing? My, that’s ambitious, have your husband look me up when your boobs begin to sag.” Lindsey says with a backward glance and a wink in Alaric’s direction.
Under my breath, I say, “What a bitch. I feel sorry for her children.”
Lexie is standing beside me and asks, “What happened to her? She’s so bitter. She was voted most likely to succeed.”
I grimace before saying, “Instead of going to Princeton, she got knocked up by the captain of the football team. I feel sorry for Jason and the kids, I remember him to be a pretty nice guy. I bet she’s not really pleasant to be around. She always did have to have her way. That’s the reason why we grew apart our last year of high school.” For a moment I watch her with her children walk away, and I know that it will probably be the last time I ever see Lindsey, and I’m okay with that. It’s time for me to start putting the past behind me. Looking up at Alaric, I smile and say, “Let’s go get something to eat. There’s this great barbeque place not far from here.”
Chapter 12
(Ashlinn)
Our time in The Mortal Realm is coming to a close. During that time I’ve decided to sift through some of Mom’s things in the library and what I’m finding is disturbing. She knew so much more than she alluded to in her letter to me. I’ve brought Lexie in, and we’re going through all her notes, emails, financial transactions, everything. Apparently, she had this property warded a very long time ago by a witch here in The Mortal Realm. Her contact passed away before the wards could be restored and that was why we ended up on an extended vacation. In some of her last emails, she had arranged for a meeting with a witch for the day we were supposed to have returned from our holiday, a meeting that she was not able to keep. I’m at a loss, how could she have possibly known what she was hiding me from? Now I’m left to ponder so much more.
Lexie and I begin tidying up in the study because we’ve hit a dead end. Eight years in The Mortal Realm after the fact, one dead witch, and another that we have been unable to contact, we have no one left alive that we can question. Even if we could contact the witch that Mom was to meet with I’m not really sure she would be able to tell us anything. We hear a commotion out in the hall, and both of us look toward the door leading to the hallway just in time to see my mother walk hesitantly into the room.
“Ashlinn, I couldn’t let one more moment go by without coming to see you and my grandchildren. I bet they have gotten so big. Alexia, look at you, you don’t even look like you were pregnant yesterday. Funny how time works between realms, I hear that I’m about to meet little Samuel, the newest addition to the family.” She says as my father walks in the room behind her.
Standing I go to my mother and give her a big hug, “I’m so happy you came. I’ve put together a gift for you and father, and I could only do that here in this realm. I hope you both like it.” I say pulling back to hug my father as well.
Lexie has gathered little Sammy up, he’s sleeping and looks like a little angel and addresses my parents, “Danu, Rhespen, meet my precious little Samuel.”
My mother reaches over to gather the sleeping babe in her arms and whispers, “Oh, Alexia, he’s beautiful. You don’t mind if I hold him for a bit?” She leans down to place a gentle kiss on his forehead.
Lexie is beaming, “Of course not, but once you see how big the twins are getting you’ll be handing him back. Lachlan is becoming quite the handful.”
“You can say that again. He’s constantly squirming and kicking and wavy his little fist about. Come on let’s go find Alaric and Declan. They were going to watch some baseball with the twins, but before we go, I want to give you both something, that I think you will like. Well, I really hope you like it. It took me a little while to put it together, and it just got here this morning. There’s this fantastic website that will put together these really wonderful photo albums. I made one of me so you could see me as I grew up in this realm.” Turning back toward my parents, I’m clutching the album in my hands as I continue, “I know that some of the photos are of Mom and me, but I thought they were important for you to see. She will always be my Mom, and I will always feel connected to her. She was beautiful, loving, and amazing. I miss her still, but I know that if she were here today, you all would have become fast friends. This photo album is kind of like the story of my life, and I think it’s important for you to see that I was loved in your absence.” Biting down on my bottom lip, I hand over the photo album to my father. Mother gently gives Samuel back to Lexie as the two lean into one another and begin to flip through the pictures. My mother’s fingers linger over page after page caressing my tiny image, her eyes are brimming with tears, and for a moment, I doubt myself. Not sure that this was a good idea before they both look up, smiling.
“I love it, thank you Ashlinn. You have no idea how much this means to me, to us. We weren’t able to be there for you when you were growing up, but we’re here now. This means so very much to me to see you growing up, happy, safe, and loved. You were so loved. Your family…” She stops, unable to continue and opens her arms for Lexie and me to step into. “You girls were so lucky to have her and your family. I’m very sorry that I never had the opportunity to meet her, to meet them.”
Pulling back, I look up at my mother and say, “You two would have butted heads like no tomorrow, but in the end, you would have become the best of friends. She died too young, they all did. Okay, enough of the tear-fest, the twins are at least another month older from when you last saw them. I’m sure that Millie is whipping up something amazing in the kitchen and spoiling my children at the same time. How she is able to juggle so much, I have no idea.”
My mother cups my face in he
r hands and says, “Ashlinn, I hate that I was not here for you when you were growing up, but your Mom did an amazing job with you. I’m so very thankful for all she did. I just thought you should know that.”
Smiling, I can’t help but say, “Are you the same larger than life goddess I met in the sacred meadow? You have softened somehow.”
“Only with you dear daughter and the rest of our family, I’m still the same larger than life goddess. I just know what it feels like after all these years to indulge in being a mother and now a grandmother.”
We banter back and forth as to what the twins will call her when they get older as we make our way to the open kitchen area before switching topics, I say, “Well, to my surprise Mom evidently knew more than what she let on. I’m just now finding that out.”
Both of my parents look at me quizzically, “What do you mean?”
“Well… She hired a witch early on to ward the property. That was not long after she brought me here and adopted me, from what we could gather. I have no idea as to how much she actually knew. I’m hoping to find something here in the house that could possibly help me understand how she came to know about witches, wards, and whatever else she knew.”
Millie’s head jerks up when she realizes that I’m talking about my Mom, “Poppet, I’m sure that your Mum did not have a clue as to your origins. Never once did she let on that you were anything more than her daughter.”
“Well then Millie, she was very good at keeping her own secrets. Did you know that she was acquainted with a witch who warded the property? Every couple of years or so this witch would come back to reinforce the wards but the summer we went on our extended vacation she found out that the witch had passed away. That was when she arranged for us to go away. I’m not sure how long it took, but she found another witch and arranged for a meeting, a meeting that never took place.”
Millie rounds the island in the kitchen and sits heavily on one of the stools, “She never let on. How much did she know? She could na have been a descendant of the fae, we would have known. I wish she would have said something. I wish I had said something. All this time and I had no idea.” Millie looks a bit lost, and I feel bad for her. Both of them were more than employer and employee, they were friends. Both were guarding me and keeping their own secrets all these years, but I just want answers at this point. I believe that there is so much more that we do not know as of yet.
“Wait…That’s what you have been working on?” Alaric approaches the rest of us from across the room, putting his game behind him.
“Yep, Mom definitely knew more than what she was letting on. I can’t help but think that there has to be something around here that could help us understand.”
Millie looks at me and smiles, “Your Mum kept a journal, did you never take note? From the time that you were very little she wrote in one of many, I’m sure. I have no idea as to where she kept her journals, but I believe that you will find them somewhere in her rooms.”
“I had no idea.” I look up at Alaric and then back at Lexie, “We have to find those journals. They are the key to everything. Don’t you get it? She knew that you were more than you appeared to be. She knew that I was different. How did she know, Lexie? How did she know?”
“Your right, we have to find her journals, Ash.”
Looking down, I take a deep breath and sigh, “I haven’t been in her rooms since the accident. I’m not sure that I’m ready for that.”
Lexie takes my hand, “Then when you’re ready. I get it I’ve not been in Sam’s room or my parents. I’ve been avoiding that, but at some point, we have to put it behind us but only when we’re ready.”
About that time I hear Lillie stir, and I break away from the group and go to my daughter. Lachlan is on his side, and his arm is wrapped around his sister, and he has snuggled up close to her side. My little man is so needy. “Come on Lillie, let’s go grab some mother-daughter bonding time while your brother is still sleeping.” I take one of the stuffed animals in the crib, and with Alaric’s help, I’m able to replace Lillie with the bear so as not to wake Lachlan.
Alaric smiles at me and leans in for a kiss, “Mo grá, do you want me to come with you?” His eyes are full of concern.
“No Elf-Man, I’ve got this. I want to find her journals, I may not be ready to read them just yet, but I want to make sure that they are safely tucked away back at our Twilight Realm so that when I’m ready to read them, I know where to find them. I will feel more comfortable once they are in my hands. Time moves so rapidly here, and there is no telling when we will get back here again once we leave. Can you see to Lachlan while I take my little flower with me up to Mom’s rooms? “
“If he wakes up hungry I think you will know, mo grá,” his smile could light the world on fire.
Shaking my head, I turn to Lexie and my mother and say, “Come on, we have some journals to find and some girl time to be had.” Lillie is smiling up at me and cooing. I hold her up and kiss her forehead, cheeks, and nose. I love her so. “You too, Jasmine, I know you just got back, but we are going to my Mom’s rooms to see if we can find her memoirs.”
Looking confused, she asks, “What did I miss?”
“Only that my Mom, knew quite a bit more than she let on. Come on.”
I can tell that my mother is hesitant to follow but she does after a moment hesitation and as we get to my mom’s room I pause, the last time that this door was opened by my mom or myself, was prior to leaving on vacation. For us, that was about a year ago, but in this realm, it has been so much longer. Looking down at my daughter I smile and say, “Lillie Joanna, let’s do this. You would have loved your Meme, and she would have loved you so very much.” Taking a deep breath, I slowly turn the doorknob and open the door to her suite of rooms which consists of a sitting room, her bedroom, and a private bath. Walking into the sitting room, I turn slowly and close my eyes. The scent of her lingers here after all this time, and I hold Lillie close as I allow the loss of her presence in my life to wash over me. By the gods, I miss her so much. I feel Lillie’s little fingers on my face, that’s when I realize that my cheeks are damp with tears. Taking her little hand in mine, I kiss her tiny fingers. Her bright-eyed gaze is penetrating, and I smile down at my daughter before saying to the group, “If there are journals to be found, they will more than likely be in here. I doubt that she would have kept them in her bedroom. Let’s start with the bookshelves that line the room. I had forgotten how many books she had, this is like her own personal little library.”
The women in my life and I slowly go about the tedious task of looking for my mother’s memoirs, I have no idea as to what we are looking for. Every time I pass by Silas Marner and Great Expectations, Lillie reaches for the books. Two of my least favorite historical, literary works, but every time I walk by them she reaches in their direction. I walk by them again and carefully observe her reaction. Once again she reaches in that direction. I pause and look from her to the books and back again. “Lillie, what is it? What are you pulled to? I wonder.”
Curious, I stand before the books, and everyone stops what they’re doing to watch. Slowly, I reach for Silas Marner and pull the book off the shelf. Lexie takes Lillie as I go to open the book. The book cover jacket appears to be ill-fitting now that it’s in my hands. I open the book slowly to find my mother’s beautiful script, her writing fills page after page. Not yet prepared to read her memoirs I close the book and remove the cover jacket to reveal the leather bound book beneath it. Laying them both aside, I reach for Great Expectations and do the same. Both books are my mother’s journals. Quickly we review the other books on the shelf, but those are the only two journals we find. And I feel sure that we have located all that there is.
Lexie interrupts my silent contemplation, “So… Are you going to read them right away?”
“I don’t think that I’m ready for that yet. Besides, in a few more days we’re heading back to The Otherworld, and we need to prepare for our journey to the Badlands in sear
ch of Lugh. I’ll take these with us to make sure they stay safe until there is time to look through them and I have time to read them thoroughly.” Sitting the books down on the table, I reach for Lillie. Holding her up in the air above me I bring her down to pepper her face with kisses before asking, “Lillie Joanna, how on earth did you know where to find those journals?” She just smiles and coos and pats my cheek with her pudgy little hand.
Jasmine leans in and speaks to Lillie in her version of baby talk, “Because she’s special. Lillie Joanna and her big brother are both going to be very gifted. Aren’t you Lillie? Aren’t you pretty little flower?”
Lexie and I both laugh, while my mother looks on seriously before imparting, “I believe that Jasmine may be more correct than she knows. We’ll have to continue to monitor their gifts as they continue to grow. Lest you forget they were able to tap into their majic and connect with you and Alaric before they were even born. That is unheard of. In all my days, I have never heard of anything like that happening.” Smiling she looks down at Lillie and lays her hand on her granddaughter’s forehead, “We shall see, my dearest Lillie as to where your gifts will lie. Until then, may you and your brother take your time growing up, you both are my sweet, adorable, grand-children and I want only the best for you.”