Who would be desperate enough to do such a thing?
‘And abandoned.’ Alice could hear the judgement in Liam’s tone, but she didn’t have time to argue with him. Later, she could explain the choices that some women had to face, and the reality of their world that could make such a dreadful decision necessary. Later, she could cry and hurt for all the feelings this moment had dredged up from where she’d tried to bury them.
For now, she just needed to get help for the baby.
‘We need to call the doctor.’ She eased herself to her feet, still clutching the baby close to her chest. Liam tucked a hand under her elbow to help her up.
‘And the police,’ he added, and Alice shook her head.
‘No. Not yet. We need to see if we can fix this ourselves, first.’ Getting the police involved would make everything official.
‘Why? And besides, if you don’t, surely the doctor will,’ Liam argued.
‘Not Dr Helene,’ Alice disagreed. ‘She’s worked with us before.’
‘This has happened before?’ Liam’s eyebrows shot up.
‘No. Not this.’ But plenty of other stuff. Enough for Alice to know instinctively that this was a desperate, last chance act for someone—not an act of cruelty. She wasn’t about to punish a desperate woman—and certainly not before they’d tried to help her.
The baby started to squirm in her arms again, and Alice joggled him a little to try and calm him. Poor thing was probably starving, or in shock or both. Adjusting her grip, she felt in the hidden pocket in the folds of her dress for her phone and pulled it out. Reception at the castle was spotty, but if she could get hold of Heather at least she’d have some help. Someone she could hand the baby to and take a step back, regroup, recover her equilibrium.
‘I need to make some calls,’ she said again. ‘But we can’t... I don’t want everyone to see him. Could you...?’
‘You want me to get rid of the rest of the guests?’ Liam guessed.
Alice nodded, relieved. ‘I’ll take him through to the library. I can call the doctor from there.’ And Heather. She’d be able to get together some things to look after him. They’d need clothes, formula milk...everything. She started a mental list, knowing that Heather’s well stocked store cupboard would be able to provide. Practicalities. That was what she needed to think about.
‘Okay. I’ll meet you there.’ Liam turned to push the basket back under the tree before he went, then paused. ‘Hey, there’s something else in here.’ Liam crouched over the basket and pulled out a scrap of paper—one of the leaflets that Alice had distributed around the shops and businesses of the local village, inviting women to Thornwood Castle whenever they needed support or aid.
Apparently someone had taken her up on the offer in a fairly major way.
‘Is that writing on the back?’ Alice squinted at the paper to try and make it out.
Liam flipped it over and started to read. ‘“This is Jamie. He needs your help. I’m leaving him to Alice Walters and Liam Jenkins. Please take care of him and tell him I’m sorry and I love him.” Well. That answers all our questions, then.’
‘Jamie,’ Alice murmured. ‘It suits him.’ Jamie had settled down into her arms now, perhaps having cried himself to exhaustion—or perhaps because he needed serious medical help. She needed to get the doctor there quickly... ‘Wait. She left him to me?’
Oh, God, no. She couldn’t take responsibility for a baby. Not now. She couldn’t even think about this now, because if she did...
A paralysing sadness washed over her as the memories broke out of the cage she’d kept them locked in for the last few years. Since she’d woken up in that hospital bed and knew her life would be something new now. Gazing down at the sleeping baby, the depth of everything she’d lost yawned open inside her, a gaping hole at the centre of her being, one that could never be filled. Not now. That chance had been taken away from her.
Except she was holding a baby in her arms. Almost as if...
‘To us,’ Liam clarified, his voice harsh, and Alice blinked as the moment broke. She had to focus. This was an emergency—one she would deal with the same way she dealt with every other crisis that hit the women at Thornwood. With practicality, sensitivity and order.
Emotions she could deal with later. First, she needed to deal with the astonishing request in the note.
‘She left him to me and you?’ Her, she could understand—she’d been looking after the people of this community for over a year and a half, and Jamie’s mother wouldn’t necessarily know that she had no experience looking after babies. But why Liam?
‘Apparently so.’ Liam shoved the note in his jacket pocket, shaking his head. ‘God only knows what his mother was thinking—if she was thinking at all. Go on. You get to the library and make the calls. I’ll meet you there once I’ve got rid of everyone else. We’ll deal with what on earth this note means then.’
A plan. Good. That was exactly what she needed.
Alice nodded and, adjusting the baby in her arms, set off for the safety of the library as quickly as she could, given her long dress.
Maybe there would even be some books on childcare in there. God knew they were going to need them.
* * *
The library was thankfully empty. Alice sank into one of the battered leather wing chairs in the corner, her legs still shaking. She pulled out her phone again, scrolling through until she found Heather’s number.
Heather answered on the third ring and, from the background noise, Alice was interrupting the servers and helpers finishing off the canapés in the kitchen. ‘I need you in the library. Now. And grab one of the baby bags on your way.’ Her voice stayed steady, which Alice was proud of. She could handle this. She had to—for Jamie.
Heather didn’t question the order—she knew as well as Alice that sometimes when help was needed there wasn’t time to debate. ‘I’ll be right there.’
Alice’s second call was to Dr Helene, who promised to leave for Thornwood immediately too—although she required a little more information. ‘I’ll bring more supplies,’ Helene promised, and Alice let out a tiny sigh of relief.
She needed professionals here. For all that she wanted to help Jamie’s mother, she hadn’t a clue what she was doing.
Alice took a shuddering breath and admitted the truth to herself—she was totally out of her depth. She’d protected herself from everything she knew she could never have—could never be—by avoiding everything to do with babies, as far as that was possible in a place like Thornwood, always filled with mothers and children. She’d never learnt how to change a nappy, or how to soothe a child, or how to know a baby needed feeding.
If someone wanted a fundraiser organising, a seminar programme setting up, an escape route for an abused woman, she was their girl. She could fix the leaky toilets on the ground floor, and plug holes in the draughty windows of Thornwood. She could even manage the accounts and feed fifty women on a budget set for half that number.
But she couldn’t look after a baby. That was knowledge she simply didn’t have—knowledge she’d never sought or needed.
Until now.
The door to the library opened, and Alice tensed until she saw Liam slip through and shut it firmly behind him.
‘The doctor is on her way,’ she told him. ‘And Heather. Both of them with supplies.’
‘Good.’ Liam eyed the baby with what Alice was sure was annoyance. But then he added, ‘Poor little guy will freeze in this castle if we don’t get him some warm clothes and some formula pretty soon.’
‘They won’t be long,’ Alice promised, surprised that he cared at all. Perhaps Liam really did have a softer side—one that he’d kept very well hidden since his arrival at Thornwood.
But tonight wasn’t a night for dwelling on the mysteries and annoyances of Liam Jenkins. Alice gaze
d down at Jamie, adjusting the blanket again to keep his tiny hands covered. Whatever deal she’d just struck with Liam, whatever promises she intended to hold him accountable to, she knew that her decision to stay at Thornwood for the time being had just been made a whole lot easier.
It wasn’t just her women, her work or her legacy she needed to see settled before she left. She needed to make sure Jamie was safe and well cared for too—however much it broke her heart.
Until Jamie was reunited with his mother, Thornwood was home. Again.
* * *
‘Could that phone call have been any more cryptic?’ Heather burst into the library, a plastic bag dangling from one hand, the other placed firmly on her hip. ‘What the hell is going on up here?’
Wasn’t that the most appropriate question ever? Liam was still trying to figure that out, twenty minutes after he’d found that damn note.
Not the baby. Finding the baby was fine—a problem to be solved, a situation to be dealt with by passing it on to the appropriate authorities. The baby wasn’t to blame for any of this.
But that note...
The moment he’d seen his name there, linked with Alice’s, naming them as carers for Jamie, his whole body had frozen. And then, milliseconds later, the need to run had surged through him. Thornwood wasn’t his home and he didn’t need anything else tying him to it. This wasn’t his place, Jamie wasn’t his baby and this wasn’t the sort of responsibility he had ever intended to sign up for.
Except he had a feeling that Rose might have made it his responsibility the minute she’d named him in her will.
Heather was still waiting for an answer, Liam realised, looking up at her as she stood in the doorway.
‘Shut the door,’ Liam commanded, and she obeyed before turning her attention to Alice.
Heather’s eyes widened as she caught sight of the baby.
‘This is Jamie,’ Alice said, her voice soft now he was sleeping. What was she making of all this? Liam couldn’t tell. He’d thought he’d seen the same sort of panic he was feeling in her eyes when they’d found Jamie, but now she looked almost...content, holding him. ‘We found him under the Christmas tree.’
‘As far as I’m aware, Santa doesn’t bring babies,’ Heather commented. ‘That’s usually the stork’s prerogative. Have you called the police? No, of course you haven’t.’ She answered her own question with a sigh. ‘Well, at least I get why you needed this, now.’ She held out the bag and Liam took it from her and peered inside.
‘Nappies, clothes, pre-made formula bottles...you guys think of everything. This happen a lot round here, does it?’ They were too well set up for this to be a one-off.
‘Random babies being left as Christmas presents? No.’ Heather glared at him. Liam wasn’t sure if it was because he now owned Thornwood, or just because he was male. Probably both. ‘But we do occasionally have women arrive with new babies who need our help. And sometimes they’re not able to bring much with them.’
The words she wasn’t saying echoed through Liam’s head all the same, and his jaw tightened at the thought of them. Women who had to run, fast. Women who were terrified for their children, in fear for their own lives. Women who had nowhere to go except Thornwood. Women like his mother.
When he’d offered Alice his deal—a promise of a place to continue her work, outside of the castle—it had been for his own convenience as much as hers. He needed them out of the castle in a way that wouldn’t enrage the local populace, and he hadn’t been much inclined to rely on the misogynist tendencies of the occupants of Thornwood village to get away with just kicking them out. That kind of thing never played well in the papers—not to mention on the internet.
But now, watching as Alice carefully unwrapped Jamie—waking him and causing him to scream, of course—ready to put a nappy on him and dress him, he knew it wasn’t just about convenience any more. He’d seen enough over the last week to convince him that Alice wasn’t a gold-digger, she wasn’t sent purely to try him. What she did mattered around here—and it mattered to her.
And for some reason that seemed to mean it mattered to him now too.
‘You’re doing it wrong,’ he said, stepping forward without thinking as Alice tried to get the nappy on backwards. He’d thought those things were fairly idiot-proof these days, but he guessed if someone had never done it before it could take a moment to figure out.
Kneeling beside her, he turned the nappy the right way, so the tabs opened to be fastened at the front.
‘I’d have got there in a second,’ she grumbled.
‘I’m sure you would have,’ Liam said mildly. ‘But since that would have meant another second of this kid wailing, I figured I’d help. What, never changed a nappy before?’
‘She always gives them back at that point,’ Heather said from behind them, where she was preparing a pre-made bottle. She sounded amused, which was more than Liam could manage. ‘In fact, she gives them back when they cry too, normally. Or fuss. Or spit up. Or anything.’
‘Yeah, well, I can’t exactly give this one back right now, can I?’ Alice snapped. Liam watched her as she struggled to get Jamie’s tiny feet into a sleepsuit. Maybe she wasn’t as calm as he’d thought. Especially if she had no experience of babies. She had to be freaking out as much as he was; she was just hiding it well.
‘I can see why you never had kids,’ he joked, trying to lighten the mood, but Alice didn’t laugh. In fact, she paused, just for a moment, in dressing Jamie. And when she resumed the action, her hands were trembling.
Damn. He’d hit a nerve and he hadn’t even been trying.
What was it with Alice and babies? She was clearly out of her depth here, but reluctant to accept his help. Liam suppressed a sigh. Well, she was just going to have to suck it up and let him help her. Not because she needed it, but because Jamie did.
As much as he’d wanted to run, fast and far away from Thornwood, the moment he’d seen his name on that note, he already knew he couldn’t. Not now. He couldn’t just walk away from an abandoned child, any more than Alice could.
His eyes narrowed as he watched Alice wrap Jamie back up in his blanket. Why was that, exactly? Liam knew why an abandoned baby hit his buttons, but which of Alice’s was the situation pressing? Or, the thought occurred suddenly, was it something even simpler?
Alice had been so determined to hold on to Jamie until they found his mother, yet she apparently had no patience or interest in them normally. Did she know who the mother was, perhaps, and this was her way of protecting her? It seemed as likely as any other answer.
Which meant Liam would need to keep a very close eye on Alice, and see who she spoke to over the next day or so. He might have some sympathy for a woman in dire straits who felt she had no choice but to abandon her child—but that didn’t mean he agreed with it. There were other options—there was always another option—and he intended to have strong words with Jamie’s mum about them.
As soon as he found out who she was, anyway.
* * *
Of course, the minute she managed to get Jamie’s tiny limbs safely enclosed within the sleepsuit Heather had found and rewrapped him in his blanket, Dr Helene came bustling in through the library door and they had to take everything off again for her to check him over.
Alice liked Dr Helene. She had the sort of no-nonsense approach that tended to calm people—including Alice, tonight. But at the same time she was caring, kind—and very understanding of the work they were doing at the castle. Helene had more than once been able to help out with women in dire straits, and she had great connections in the city too, which always came in helpful with relocations.
But tonight she hadn’t come alone. Instead she’d brought a woman who Alice had spoken to many times in the course of trying to help the people of Thornwood.
‘Hello, Iona,’ Alice said before turni
ng to Helene. ‘You brought social services?’
‘Iona’s a friend,’ Helene said. ‘She can help us. Now, who does this little man belong to?’ Helene frowned as she peeled off the blanket and pulled open the poppers on the sleepsuit.
‘That’s the million-dollar question,’ Liam drawled. Helene glanced up at him, then apparently dismissed him as of no importance. Alice hid a smile; it would do his ego some good to be ignored, but she supposed she’d better perform introductions.
‘Helene, this is Liam Jenkins—the new owner of Thornwood. And this—’ she pointed at the baby ‘—is Jamie. We found him here, under the Christmas tree, just wrapped in a blanket with this note.’ She nodded to Liam and he handed it over.
Helene scanned the note quickly, and her frown grew deeper. ‘Well, he certainly looks like a newborn. And apparently the mother wanted him to be your responsibility. Have you fed him yet?’
Alice shook her head. ‘We were about to try when you arrived. I was a little concerned about his umbilical cord...’
‘It does look a little rough and ready. But actually it’s been done safely, as far as I can tell. It does look like he was born very, very recently though.’ She pulled her bag closer and took out the necessary supplies to sterilise the cord stump. ‘To someone who knew how to cut the cord without the baby bleeding out, but had no idea what to do next.’
‘Except abandon him.’ Liam was sounding judgemental again. Alice ignored him. Their judgement didn’t matter right now. What mattered was Jamie’s well-being.
‘I can’t even think of any regulars here who it could have been,’ Alice said.
‘I’ve been making a list of pregnant women who’ve visited recently,’ Heather put in. ‘But I can’t see it being any of them either.’
‘We’ll need to follow up with them, all the same,’ Iona said, turning to Helene. ‘Is there anyone who has been into the surgery recently who could be a candidate?’
Helene shrugged. ‘No one obvious, but then you never know what might overtake someone. And, to be honest, if she chose to have the baby here rather than at the hospital, chances are she might not have had any prenatal care at all. She might not even have known that she was pregnant.’
Newborn Under the Christmas Tree Page 7