When Katherine met her gaze she knew for sure something had happened.
“Where is everyone?” asked Kezia.
“My brothers are expected any time. They’ve been with Richard de Courcy who now has a full complement of men. They plan to attack as soon as they receive word from within de Montmorency’s castle.”
“It could happen any day, then.”
“Aye. Suddenly it is upon us.”
“Then we must also prepare.” She rose and looked around. “Where is everyone else?”
“My mother—” Katherine looked away. “My mother is unwell.” She licked her lips and swallowed and then met Kezia’s gaze once more. “She will be staying in her bedchamber for the foreseeable future.”
“Her bedchamber? But—”
Katherine held up the palm of her hand, warding off any further queries from Kezia. Kezia stopped mid-sentence, her eyes searching Katherine’s for answers which it appeared Katherine was unwilling to give.
“Is she sick?” asked Kezia quietly. She needed to know.
Katherine shook her head and Kezia could see the struggle going on in her mind. Then it seemed she decided, and she gave a nod. “Nay, she’s not sick. But she is not allowed out. Not for the time being. She wanted you gone from our lives.”
Kezia had suspected that was the case but to have Katherine confirm her suspicions came as a shock. “Maybe. But she changed her mind.”
“But Rufus has not changed his.” Katherine looked at her now with sorrowful but steady eyes. “It is for the best, Kezia. We are all in agreement.”
The girl turned away quickly but not before Kezia saw a glint of a tear in her eyes that countered the sharp, determined jut of Katherine’s jaw. Spurning her mother was costing her, was costing them all.
The door suddenly burst open and Rufus entered the room, followed by Boulon. “Kezia! You are up. How are you?”
Kezia’s stomach clenched with desire at the sight of him, and the thought of what they had done through the night erased all thought of Lady Charlotte.
“I am well, sir.” She blushed and looked up at him from beneath lowered lashes.
Katherine looked from one to the other and shook her head with a small smile.
Rufus held the door open wide. “Come, wife, let us leave Katherine to her work. Walk with me.”
They only got as far as the shelter of the gatehouse, where they were shielded from the public gaze, when he stopped and pulled her into his arms and kissed her with a sensuous caress of both lips and tongue which had Kezia knowing exactly where his mind had wandered.
He sucked in a deep breath and stepped away. “By God, Kezia, you rob me of thought when I’m with you. And when I’m not, I wonder what you are doing, and remember how you feel against me, when I’m inside you.” He swallowed and took another step back, his hand falling onto his sword. “And I cannot. We’ve amassed a small army which will arrive here this day.”
“And when will you fight?”
“When we hear word from Bayard.”
Rufus opened the gate, and they stepped out onto the path toward the sea. Since she’d arrived, all those months ago, the crops had become full-grown, the sun hotter, and the sea had become less fierce, more seductive than ever. But Kezia’s mind was focused on the forthcoming fight, because upon it everyone’s, not least her own, future depended.
“Are you sure you can trust him?”
“No. But I trust his greed.”
“I don’t understand.”
“While Bayard has a foot in both camps, his biggest gain will be from de Montmorency’s downfall. If that happens, the de Courcys will regain the castle and give him lands he’s long coveted. That is the only reason I trust him.”
Kezia couldn’t agree with Rufus. The thought of Bayard made her shiver.
“So, we wait for a message from him through the hermit,” Kezia said thoughtfully. “Was there not one yesterday? They were meant to be delivered daily.”
Rufus looked grim. “No, the old man denied it. He asked where you were. Seems he’d rather trust you than his lord. Superstitious old man believes he can trust a woman who came to him, unbidden, over the water, rather than a man tainted by power.”
Despite Rufus’s irritation, Kezia sensed an underlying admiration at the hermit’s intransigence.
“I must go to him.”
“Nay. You must stay here and keep safe. I would not risk losing you again.”
She rolled her pressed lips together and shook her head. “I do not believe your mother would try again. I could see regret in her face last night when we returned to Wanham.”
“She will not get the chance to try anything again,” he growled.
“You cannot contain me, Rufus.”
“I will do whatever I have to do to keep you safe.” She looked up into his eyes, hardly daring to believe his words which her heart had immediately trusted. He glanced away before looking back at her with narrowed eyes. “You, and everyone else under my care.”
Her heart sank again and she was even more determined to do whatever she had to do, with or without Rufus’s permission. She still didn’t know for certain how deep Rufus’s feelings for her were. And, until she did, she had to work to end this war with their enemy. It was the only certain way she knew to secure her future with him. She nodded to herself as she made this decision, and he looked away satisfied, as if she were agreeing with him. She smiled and didn’t disabuse him.
They stopped walking when they reached the top of the sand dunes and looked out at a ship passing by, far out to sea. Kezia glanced up at Rufus whose face had softened and whose eyes held a faraway look.
“You miss it, don’t you? The boats, the travel.”
He nodded slowly and returned his narrowed gaze out across the bright sea, tossing and white-topped under the brisk breeze. “Aye. More than I can say. I loved the countries and sailing the great seas. It gave me a freedom such as I’d never known in England. But the slaughter of innocent women and children was terrible to behold. I never wish to see such things again.” He gave a great sigh.
“Tell me about the countries, which one was the greatest?”
“The greatest in my eyes was Sicily, an island which lies near Rome. It is a different world, Kezia. The ancient buildings built by the Greeks and Romans were magnificent. And I was fascinated by the way the people dressed, how they spoke, and what they spoke of. It was full of ideas of which I’d never heard before. Palermo’s royal palace is a place of such splendor you have never seen.”
Kezia tried to imagine herself there. “And what does it feel like to be on that island, surrounded by sea?”
“Warm. There were no sea frets there, no snow, only perfect sunshine and clean streets.”
Kezia closed her eyes against the bright sunshine and inhaled the fresh salty air. “And of what does the air smell?”
Rufus paused for a moment. “Orange blossom, fragrant food and perfumes from the east.”
Kezia’s nostrils flared as she imagined breathing in such exotic smells and she suddenly felt a jolt of recognition as a memory was released at Rufus’s words.
“What is it?” he asked.
She shook her head, but the feeling lingered that she’d breathed the smells he’d described. “I don’t know. Nothing probably. But tell me more about Sicily.”
“It was like a paradise.”
“Will you go there again?”
“No. Since my father’s death, my duty lies here.” He turned his back on the sea. “On the land. My sisters need me.”
“But William loves the land more than you.”
“Aye. But he’s the youngest of us and so the land must come to me.”
“Must it? Who says?”
“The law of the land.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes I think the law of the land is an ass.”
Rufus spluttered.
“My people might not have the names so prized by your people,” Kezia continued. “But they give t
heir possessions to whoever of their children are most deserving. And in this case, I think William would do better by the land. He seems to have an affinity with it. I saw him tasting the soil the other day.”
Rufus grinned. “He’s always done that. He says it tells him whether it needs feeding or not.”
“Whereas you,” said Kezia. “You should be free to travel where you wish. Not to war, but to other lands, other people.”
“It is a nice thought,” said Rufus. “And one I’ve oft dwelled on during discussions about when the vegetables should be planted in the land. But it is not to be. No, I remain here, in Norfolk.”
“But Sicily…” Kezia sighed. “I have not heard of the place until you told me about it. There’s something which so intrigues me about your description.” More than intrigues, she thought, but could not express. For how can you describe a feeling such as that? There was something about his description which summoned the place whole, in her head. His descriptions of color, heat and beauty struck a chord within her. She shook her head, ridding it of the errant thought.
“Your education is sorely lacking, wife,” he said with a wry smile.
“My education, my lord, is entirely missing. I know nothing of countries, of language, of embroidery, of anything that women should know.”
“But you know one of the greatest skills any person could have. I’ve seen it.”
“What?”
“You know how to survive. And not like my mother, scheming and playing one person off against another. And, I believe your skill is preferable to any amount of singing, of playing a lute, of embroidering a dress. And will come in useful over the next few months, unlike embroidery.”
She was silent and looked away, unused to the idea that her skills might be preferable to those of a high-born lady. Although she’d always thought so.
“But your mother,” she said, wishing to change the subject. Talking about herself made her feel deeply uncomfortable. “You say she and I are different people, but we are both survivors. She did what she did out of love for you and her family. I cannot condemn that.”
“What? After what she did to you, you would defend her?”
“Family is everything to her.” Kezia touched Rufus’s hands. She didn’t rightly know what she felt about Lady Charlotte. The woman had hated her from the minute she’d been informed she wasn’t Lady Maud, and she’d tried to dispose of her. But there was something about her which she recognized in herself. A fierce loyalty to her family, and a love for them for which she’d sacrifice anything, even herself. “I don’t know if ‘defend’ is the correct word, but I think I understand her. All she did was for you. She never betrayed you, only wanted the best for you. And she didn’t go through with the kidnapping. She saved me.”
“She wouldn’t have had to save you, if she hadn’t endangered you in the first place.” He shook his head. “Our family needs to be as one. We cannot afford for her to fight us. No, it’s either the nunnery or exile. It is a simple choice.”
“But banishment from her family? It would be hard on her.”
His eyes narrowed. “And what would you have me to do to someone who arranged for my wife to be kidnapped?”
“Understand her. From what Katherine has told me she sent word to you when she realized she couldn’t go through with it. She knew the ship was due to sail before high tide at mid-night. And yet she sent for you only a short time after she left me. She had a change of heart and for that, surely you can forgive her if I can?”
He shook his head. “She cannot be trusted, Kezia. And someone who cannot be trusted is dangerous. And it is my job to eliminate danger. There is too much riding on it.”
“And after? What will happen to her then?”
A muscle flickered in his jaw. “I cannot have someone living under my roof I cannot trust with my wife.”
She nodded. “No, of course not. But maybe if she sees that I am not such a liability, she may change her mind.”
He shrugged. “My mother never changes her mind.”
“Ah, then I’m more like her than I thought.”
“My mother stays where she is. At least until we have resolved the current situation.”
Kezia nodded. “Of course.”
But, as they returned to the castle, she couldn’t help wondering whether his mother might be more use to them on their side, rather than against them.
Reluctantly, Kezia watched Rufus leave her to meet William, who arrived with a small band of men, the first of many, to prepare for the forthcoming fight. As she closed the door, she pressed her stomach as a wave of nausea swept over her at the smells coming from the kitchen.
Another thing she wouldn’t be telling Rufus anytime soon. She’d missed her courses and she’d never done that before. And, while a baby with the man she loved was something she wanted above all else, she was also worried because she had no idea how Rufus would react to the news. Would he want to hold her closer, to swaddle her to ensure she was kept safe? Or would he feel tied to her, a nobody, like he hadn’t before? Would it tip the balance and make him send her away? Especially if they failed to defeat the de Montmorencys.
The thoughts swirled in her head, plaguing her with doubt and mistrust. She had to do something to help toward the defeat of their enemy. She would visit the hermit again; she was the only person he trusted. He had a message, she was sure of it, and one upon which all their futures might depend. While Rufus and William were busy preparing their men for battle, she had her own job to do.
Quietly she slipped out of the castle, and went unnoticed amid the clamor of men and horses to the stables. There she prepared her horse, slipped away from the castle and set off to the river.
Chapter 18
Rufus couldn’t settle. Despite the castle being overrun with men—some busy gathering arms, others practicing swordsmanship, but all focused on the forthcoming fight upon which their lives depended—Rufus was aware of every horse which passed the lane outside the manor, and looked up whenever any entered the bailey. But none had been Kezia. He couldn’t believe after what he’d said that she’d do as she pleased. It sent a fire into his veins which was entirely confused with his desire for her.
“Katherine! Have you seen Kezia? Do you know where she is?”
“I know not. She was here a short time ago.”
“Why not ask one of the servant girls or stable boys she’s always talking to,” Celestria said mischievously. “If anyone would know, they would.” She giggled and ran off before she could be admonished.
But one look at the servants and their instantly averted faces showed that they would be no more forthcoming than anyone else. Either they’d become so loyal to Kezia that they refused to say, even to him—which he couldn’t discount—or they didn’t know.
Rufus paced the hall. “Someone must have seen her! She can’t have simply vanished into thin air!”
“Of course not,” Katherine replied, turning away from Sir Harry as they tried to find enough victuals to feed their instant army. “No one vanishes into thin air. Where was she last seen?”
He shook his head, trying to think. Then he stopped pacing. “I told her not to go and pick up the message, then the men arrived and I became distracted.” He frowned, as he tried to picture her. “I don’t recall seeing her after that.”
“Then, that’s your answer. You know what she’s like. If you forbade her to go to the hermit, then that’s exactly where she’ll have gone.”
He nodded and cast a puzzled glance toward his little sister, wondering, not for the first time, how she’d become so wise and able to read people so clearly. “Aye, you’re right.”
He plucked a map from the trestle and walked outside. William joined him, resting one foot on the step as he looked at Rufus. Rufus looked away suddenly at the sound of a horse but, as it cantered past, he sighed as he realized it wasn’t Kezia.
“What ails you?” grumbled William. “We’ve a battle to organize and all you can do is jump at the fi
rst sound of a horse. A great help you’ll be when the day comes to attack.”
“Nothing ails me.”
William shot him a dark look which plainly told him he didn’t believe a word. “Why you try to fool yourself that you have no feelings for Kezia, when everyone can see it is the opposite, is beyond me.”
Rufus didn’t speak for a few moments, only gritted his teeth as he stared at the map before them. He could feel William’s eyes upon him. William was a man of few words and so when he spoke, Rufus listened. “I think we should strike here.” He stabbed the map with his finger and waited for William to respond.
“Because no one believes you, Rufus,” said William, refusing to be swayed from the subject. “So it is only yourself you’re fooling.”
Rufus growled. It seemed William would not be distracted. He looked up to meet a pair of amused eyes.
William leaned forward. “And I doubt you’re even managing to fool yourself.”
Something broke inside of Rufus then. Something to which he’d been clinging ever since he’d been forced into marriage with a chit of a girl he’d scarcely noticed. “I have to believe me. If I ever had a heart, it was destroyed in the heat of battle after battle watching innocents slaughtered, some by my own hand.”
“You did what you had to do to survive, brother,” said William soberly.
“Aye. I stopped feeling… anything. And I cannot change. It is too late.”
“You’re wrong, big brother.” William narrowed his eyes and focused, just as he did when testing the quality of the soil, or running his hand over an animal, checking its health. “I do believe you’re scared.”
Rufus shot William a filthy look and shook his head. “I have been accused of many things but being scared has never been one of them.”
William grinned. “There’s a first time for everything. My advice to you, brother, is to do whatever you have to do to keep Kezia because I don’t want you turning back into the dour man who arrived here from France a year since.”
Defending His Lady (Norfolk Knights Book 4) Page 18