by CoraLee June
“We have to go to the police,” I whispered. “Please. I want to go now. I can’t just sit here.”
Chase quickly grabbed the cell phone and stood up. Kai pulled me up to a standing position, and when my shaky legs couldn’t hold my weight, he picked me up and cradled me against his chest. “I’m going to the police, you go to the hospital. Get Mrs. Shirley. She needs to know what’s happening, and I don’t want her finding out from gossip or the news.” Chase had taken charge; it was a side of him I didn’t recognize. He commanded the room with his words, and Kai followed his lead.
Kai scooped me up and practically ran to his truck. He set me down gingerly in the passenger seat and reached over to buckle my seatbelt. He ran around the car and slid into the driver’s side, starting the truck. He rolled down the window and lit a cigarette. Normally I hated it when he smoked when I was in the truck with him, but I was so numb I barely registered the smell. Kai put the car in drive and peeled out, driving like we were trying to escape a demon.
I just couldn’t imagine my sweet, gentle father pressing against Violet’s neck and squeezing the life out of her. Out of her baby, their baby. My half-sibling. I started retching again, and Kai fished around before handing me a takeout bag from his restaurant. I didn’t understand anything that was happening, and none of it felt like it could be real. But it was.
I laid my head against the cool glass of the half open window, letting the air rush around me. I tried to calm myself down, we were going to be at the hospital soon, and I was going to have to tell my mother. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I tried to calm myself by visualizing the ocean and the movement of the water with her waves forming and crashing. But then I saw Violet in the wall of water, her blue eyes begging for mercy as my dad tightened his grip. I snapped my eyes open, and hot tears fell.
Kai made the final turn into the hospital parking lot, the tires squealing beneath us as he did. He pulled into a parking spot and turned off the truck. Putting his arm around my shoulder, he gathered me into him, sprinkling kisses on the top of my head as I cried into his chest. I didn’t want to break away from the safety of Kai’s arms. I didn’t want to go inside the hospital and tell my mom what we had just discovered. But I had to, she had to hear it from me. This was going to break her, and I couldn’t handle it if she found out from someone else.
I lifted my head from Kai’s shoulder and dug my palms into my eyes in an effort to stop the tears. My eyes stung, and I could feel how puffy they were. I opened the door to the truck and got out, letting the fresh air settle around me. The brightness of the sun felt obscene given what we were about to do.
Kai appeared at my side, weaving his fingers into mine. “Are you ready, Little Whisper? I’ve got you.”
I nodded, even though this was something I could never be ready for.
We walked into the hospital hand in hand. Rachel, one of the older nurses, who was standing at the nurses’ station, recognized me and waved. I could see the concern in her eyes as we got closer and she saw my face. “Are you okay, dear?”
“Is my mom around?” I managed to squeak out.
“Yes, come on back to the break room. I’ll get her for you,” Rachel said and hurried off.
I walked back to the familiar room where Mom and I had shared many meals over the years. I thought back to Christmases spent with my parents holding my hand. My mom’s diamond ring glimmering in the sunlight as we ate lunch on the patio. Birthday parties at the bowling alley. Surfing. Mom kissing Dad on the forehead and making our favorite breakfast after the night shift. Our perfect home had cracks in the walls.
“Baby? You okay? Rachel said you’d been crying?” Mom rushed out as she entered the room. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. How could I possibly say this? How could I voice what I’d found? Kai seemed to sense the turmoil in my soul.
“Do you want me to?” Kai asked.
“Do you want him to what? What’s going on, Breeze? You’re scaring me.” Mom crouched down beside me. I couldn’t let Kai say this. Mom needed to hear it from me.
“Do you know where Dad is?” I asked.
Mom shrugged. “At the surf shop? I don’t know, we haven’t really seen a lot of each other lately. Did he forget to wish you a happy birthday? Dammit, I reminded him yesterday.” I grabbed my mom’s hand.
“No. It’s not that.” Although he had forgotten. I didn’t care anymore. I wanted nothing to do with him.
I looked at my mother’s crouching form. “Mom. You need to sit down.”
“Is something wrong with Brian? A surfing accident?” Mom made her way to a seat, and I kept our hands firmly clasped together.
“We found Violet’s phone in Dad’s office,” I began. My voice was choked up, and Mom squinted in confusion.
“Her phone?” she asked.
“I plugged it in and found messages between them. Dad and Violet were having an affair. He was there the night Violet died.”
Mom’s mouth dropped open in shock. First, she shook her head, then she stared at our hands in disbelief. I waited for it to hit her. I waited for the realization to wrap around her body and drown her in the disaster I was feeling. “I knew he was seeing someone,” she whispered.
“What?” I asked.
“I saw the signs. He stopped...wanting me months ago. I ignored it because…” her voice trailed off, and she swatted at her eyes. Her cheeks were red with anger, and I watched her shoulders slump in defeat. “It makes sense. He hasn’t been the same since she died. I just thought he was grieving. Oh my God.” Mom stood up and started pacing the floors, with her fists clenched at her side. I couldn’t stand watching her fall apart like this. I glanced at Kai and could tell he didn’t want to witness this pain. I was so thankful he decided to stay with me for this. I was barely hanging on. “He killed Violet,” she whispered. “Brian killed Violet. Brian killed Violet. Brian killed Violet,” she murmured over and over again, obviously in shock.
“Chase took the phone to the police. Mom. Do you know what this means?” I asked.
She started shaking violently, her legs a jumble of nerves. Kai briefly left me to guide her back to the hard plastic chair. It was wrong to tear apart her world at the hospital, but we didn’t have time. Soon the news of Dad and Violet’s involvement would spread like wildfire. I wasn’t sure we could go home. The press would surely catch wind of this. And what if Dad was there? I didn’t want to see him. “She was pregnant,” Mom cried out. “That poor girl was pregnant. The baby. That precious baby. Your half-sibling. Your best friend.” Mom cradled her head in her hands. We both cried, not caring about the other nurses that walked in and stared curiously. Not caring that my phone was ringing violently in my pocket or that soon Kai had wrapped me in a hug and whispered that we needed to leave in my ear. Our family was broken apart, and there was nothing that could mend us back together.
Dear Diary,
Don’t trust people that say they love you then do the opposite. Actions, Diary. Actions are the hallmark of a person’s soul. I don’t think he ever loved me back.
XOXO,
Violet
We didn’t go home—we couldn’t. The moment Chase turned in the cell phone and revealed what he’d found, our house became a crime scene investigation. I sat snuggled up in a blanket on the living room couch in Chase’s house, with mom asleep in my lap. I stroked her hair, staring at her tear-stained cheeks and listening to her desolate moans in her sleep. Kai made us both some food, but it sat untouched on the coffee table. I couldn’t eat, not when my stomach was in knots. I just wanted Chase to come home. The police had questions for all of us, but we weren’t ready to answer them. I wanted to know what was going on but was too afraid to turn on my phone.
In a moment of weakness, I ripped out a chunk of my hair while sobbing in Violet’s bathroom. I stared at the clump of insanity in my hand before Kai dragged me downstairs. I had to stay strong for my mother, but in these little moments, I broke. When her eyes were closed, I fought demo
ns. When she was lost in her own world, I punctured my heart with a fork, hoping to watch it bleed.
How could she do this to me? I suppose the signs were there. She’d work at the surf shop while dad was there. She’d get dressed up to come to my house. She’d offer him flirty smiles I mistook as familiarity. How long had it been going on? Why would she have done this? She died on her birthday, which meant she was just seventeen when they were together. Was my father a predator? I imagined him with sharp teeth and hair like a lion, stalking my best friend during vulnerable moments. Was Violet innocent in this? Was she coerced by a villain? Or were they both the masters of their own fate, willingly dancing with the devil in exchange for passion.
“You need to eat,” Kai whispered.
“I’m not hungry.”
Kai let out a sigh while running his hand through his hair. I knew he wanted to help but didn’t know how. I honestly didn’t know what I needed. I didn’t know how I would ever be okay again.
The front door opened, and Chase walked through, carrying a paper sack. “Chase?” I said, making Mom stir in my lap. He took one look at her, then nodded toward the back patio. I gently slid out from under her and walked toward the door, followed by both Kai and Chase.
“What happened?” I asked the moment the door was shut. Chase took out a large bottle of whiskey and unscrewed the cap, taking a long swig of the burning liquid before handing it to me. I didn’t think twice, I wrapped my lips around the bottle and gulped some also, relishing in the pain blooming in my chest from the heat of the drink. With a hiss, I wiped my mouth and handed it to Kai. He didn’t drink any.
“Your father has been arrested,” Chase said in a low voice. “They found him drunk off his ass at the beach. He started screaming that he knew they’d find him eventually. They checked his cellphone’s location records and determined that he was in the woods at her time of d-death. They took a sample of his DNA to compare to the fetus, but he’s already admitted that he was the father. They have enough evidence that…”
“My father killed Violet,” I whispered. I couldn’t believe it. “Chase, I’m so sorry.”
Chase grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a long gulp before setting it down on the patio table. “They want to bring in your mother for questioning tomorrow. Make sure she didn’t know. They want to make sure she wasn’t an accomplice…”
I gasped. “What?”
“I told them there was no way your mother had any part in this. She didn’t know. They just need to make sure they’re thorough.”
I threaded my hands together while wondering how on earth my mother was going to survive an interrogation. She was barely keeping it together as it was. “I won’t let her go through that alone, Breeze. She’s been like a mother to me. I know she’s innocent.”
My throat constricted. “Why? How can you stand to look at me? To help us?”
“Because you aren’t your father. Because you loved Violet, and she fucked all of us over. I’m pissed at her. I’m pissed at your fucking father. I’m angry at myself for not figuring it out sooner.”
A sob tore out of me. “I just can’t believe this is happening.”
Chase let out a sigh and stared at the ocean. His eyes were heavy with sadness. His entire posture was defeated.
“What about Lex? He has to play a role in this,” Kai asked. He sat down on a patio chair next to me, reaching out to hold my hand. I grabbed hold of him, treating Kai like a lifeline.
Chase nodded. “Brian isn’t talking, but there are lots of messages on that app linking them. The police can’t find Lex. They think he saw shit going south and fled. He could be on a boat to Mexico for all we know.”
“So, he’s just out there somewhere? How is Lex even involved?” I asked, that threatening message in my mind. Don’t tell anyone what you saw.
“They’ll find him. Until then, we’re all staying here.”
I was walking through the woods. They were Violet’s and my woods, but they weren’t. The trees were bigger and thicker, the bark gnarled and the branches menacing. It was pitch black with only a wisp of the moon to guide me. I didn’t know where I was going, and no matter how hard I tried to get out, every step I took only carried me deeper into the tangled thicket.
A deep fog rolled in, blanketing the forest floor. I couldn’t see my own feet beneath it. The mist rolled up into the trees and danced in the branches. I waved my arms frantically, desperate to clear the haze. That did nothing except anger some owls who screeched their protest at me.
I put my hands out in front of me to try and feel my way through the forest. My hand landed on rough bark. I moved along, dragging my hand against the tree as I walked. I felt something warm and wet, and pulled my hand away. These trees shouldn’t have syrup, they weren’t maples. I looked down at my hands to find them both stained with blood.
I shrieked, and the fog cleared as though it was scared of my scream. I was able to see again. I looked toward the bleeding tree to see that it wasn’t really a tree at all. It was Violet. She was standing as tall as the forest, and her skin was made of bark. Her feet were rooted into the earth, and her arms extended up through the sky. Her trunk was mutilated and hollow, her organs lying scattered at her feet. Her face was twisted into a strangled scream, with blood pouring out of her eyes.
My dad was hunched over something small and wiggling. He reached his arm out, and I could see that he had started petting a wild pig that was feasting on Violet’s insides. He turned to look at me and laughed, saying, “Oh honey, you know how Violet can be.”
I screamed and fell to my knees, holding my head in my hands. I screamed while my dad laughed. I screamed until I woke up in Chase’s living room, still screaming.
Instantly everyone was surrounding me. We were on the floor; I must have fallen off the couch, thrashing from my nightmare. We had all decided to sleep in the living room together, none of us wanting to be alone.
“Breeze! Honey, wake up. You’re dreaming,” I heard my mother’s voice and then felt her soft arms around me, rubbing my back. I sobbed into her shoulder as the Violet from my dreams was burned into my brain. Her mangled body half human, half tree.
“Her blood,” I cried. “I had her blood on my hands.”
“Shhh...it’s okay, baby, you’re safe. We’re all here,” my mom whispered as she rocked me back and forth in her arms. Kai sat on the floor beside us, holding my hand and stroking my thumb with his.
Chase went to the kitchen and brought me back a hot cup of tea. My mom released her hold so that I could take the cup. I started to feel better as its warmness filled me. It was the middle of night, but none of us were going to be able to get back to sleep. “Kai?” I croaked. Although I was thankful for the comfort my mother provided, I needed his strong arms. I needed his reassuring presence.
“I’m right here, Little Whisper.” Mom unraveled her arms from me, and Chase pulled her to the side to give us some privacy. Within seconds, I was crawling in Kai’s lap and nuzzling against his chest. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” he promised.
Chase led Mom to one of the guest bedrooms to sleep as Kai rocked me. I felt like a small, helpless child in his embrace. I couldn’t close my eyes again without seeing Violet’s mangled body or my father’s manic expression. And after an hour of silence, it occurred to me that I hadn’t checked on Kai through all this. “How are you holding up?” I asked while pulling away.
Kai tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m conflicted,” Kai whispered.
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m angry for you. I’m trying not to storm out of this house, track my brother down, and demand answers. I’m sad for Violet. I thought she was cheating on me with some dumb fucker at your school or my brother. Now I realize she was with a...predator. Then I feel like shit for saying that because I know we’re talking about your dad.” I nodded. It was a lot to swallow. “And worst of all—I’m relieved. It makes me feel okay abou
t us, as fucked up as that sounds.”
“Okay? You feel okay about us?” I asked, anger stirring within me. “And how were you feeling before, Kai?” There was a bitter taste in my mouth. “Are you saying that this relationship is fair game now? Violet fucked my father so it’s okay that we’re together?” I couldn’t believe this.
“That’s not what I said. That’s not what I meant. I just mean maybe you’ll stop letting your guilt hold you back.”
“This again?” I asked while squirming out of his lap. Once I was standing up, I threw my hands in the air. “I’m not holding back. And you’ve got to stop putting that on me. I’ve been at your house. I’ve ignored the whispers. I fucking gave you my virginity. And that had nothing—NOTHING—to do with Violet, my father, or anything else.” Kai clenched his jaw, but I didn’t give him a chance to interrupt. “Maybe I’m not the one feeling all this guilt. Maybe I’m not the one pulling away. Maybe you’re the one having an issue with this relationship. And if you are, can I just say it’s a really shitty time to bring it up!?” I was screaming now, not worried that Chase and my mother could probably hear.
Kai shot up from his seat, breathing hard as he stared at me. “So maybe I am.”
My mouth dropped open in shock. I wasn’t expecting him to agree with me. “What?” I asked, my voice softening.
“Maybe I do feel guilt, okay? Maybe I’m fucked up about the fact that I introduced Lex to Violet. I just know he’s behind this somehow. I feel it in my bones, Breeze. I’m pissed at myself. The night Violet was murdered—by your fucking father—I was thinking about you. And here I am. Hopelessly in love with you.” I gasped. It was the first time he’d admitted his feelings. And it was such shitty timing. And fuck it all, I loved him too. But this was too much. I couldn’t handle it. “I didn’t love Violet, but maybe that’s why she went to your dad. Maybe I pushed her into his arms. Maybe we fought too much. Maybe the pressure of my brother was too much.”