by Dan Decker
“Tell me why you’re doing this. Maybe I can help.”
“Nobody ever helped me for nothing.”
I held out my watch. “It’s a gift. Cost me a couple grand, perhaps you can—”
We both turned at the sound of an engine at the front of the alley. A car had just pulled in.
It was no cop car.
It was a minivan and judging by my limited view of the person behind the wheel, it was the woman.
She hit the gas and hurtled our way.
6
It is amazing what can happen over a short period of time. The wall that had been keeping the woman trapped was now also keeping the mugger trapped, forming a full reversal of the situation. Unfortunately for me, I was caught in the middle, so I couldn’t appreciate the irony.
I stepped forward and put my hand out, trusting that the enraged woman would see reason and not run me over to get to the mugger.
She was fifty feet away but didn’t stop.
Then she was thirty feet away and still accelerating.
At twenty feet she had finally realized that I was in the way, but was determined to still get him.
Just as I was about to jump, she slammed on the brakes, coming to a halt mere inches away from my knees. In the next moment she was out of the van, charging him with a little-league baseball bat.
I got to her first.
“You don’t want to do this. You’re just gonna make it worse. I assume you have a kid at home who uses that bat. Is he waiting for you? Will he be concerned if you don’t come home tonight because you got arrested for beating up an underage youth?”
“This is self-defense.”
I shook my head. “It’s not. You are now the aggressor. He’s just a kid. It won’t go well for you if you attack him.”
The woman paused, but only for a moment and made as if to get past me. I stepped into her path.
“Go home. You have your ring. You can just walk away. That’s what matters. Just go home.”
She raised the bat over her head like she was going to hit me.
“Get out of my way!”
I nodded back at the mugger. “He’s just big for his age. He made a mistake.”
She was pushing past me when my next statement stopped her cold.
“What if that was your son?”
The mugger was frozen to the wall, hunched over and looking like the kid he was.
“You’ve done enough. He has learned his lesson. Just go home.”
The woman dropped the bat to her side, gave a shake of her head.
“If you ever come at me again...” She trailed off and left the idea unfinished. She retrieved her shoes and got into the car, backed up and left.
I turned to the mugger once she was gone.
“You have a second chance. Don’t mess it up.”
When he went for his knife, I stepped in front of it.
“Go.”
The kid made as if he was going to rush me and I braced myself for the attack, but at the last moment he relaxed, the tension leaking out of him like a deflating balloon.
“Why’d you keep her from attacking me?”
“She would have regretted it.”
“Whatever.”
As the kid sidled past me, I handed him a business card from my suitcoat.
“What’s this for?” He took it. “You want to represent me? I don’t see no cops.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what kind of trouble you’re in but the next time you feel like mugging somebody, come talk to me. I’ll figure out a different way to solve your problem.”
“Like I’m ever going to call you.”
“It’s better than the alternative.”
My words fell on deaf ears as the kid slunk out of the alleyway. Once he was gone, I picked up the knife and tossed it into the trash.
I then picked up my briefcase, wallet, and slipped my watch back on to my hand. I was on my way back to the office when I got a text from my client.
“Tell him I’ll take the offer.”
“A wise decision,” I sent back. “We’ll get it moving.”
As I slid my phone into my pocket, I couldn’t help but think of the two.
My client and the mugger.
One got away, the other did not.
Until next time, at least.
The Hostage Negotiator
1
The front door to my office opened at the same moment I heard police sirens approaching from outside. I looked out my window and saw an officer pulling into the parking lot with his lights flashing, but thought nothing of it as I returned back to my computer, continuing to work on the motion I was drafting.
When I heard somebody walk in through the front of the lobby I figured that Ellie, my receptionist, would handle it so I did not get up to see what was going on.
Somebody stuck their head into my office.
At first, I thought it was one of my partners or a member of the staff but when I looked up I didn’t recognize them.
Where is Ellie? A moment later I remembered. That’s right she has the afternoon off.
“Can I help you?” I asked the man.
“Yes,” the man stepped inside and pointed a gun at me. “I need an attorney.”
2
In all my years as practicing as an attorney, I’d never had anybody point a firearm at me. In the back of my mind, I thought that this would be a great story to include in the memoir I was one day going to write, but at the moment, I was perturbed the man had interrupted me because I had a motion I needed to file by 5:00 PM and it was just a little before 4:00 PM.
“I’m sorry,” I said to the man, “I don’t work under the gun. Literally and figuratively.” I motioned to the weapon in his hand. “If you want my help, you have to put that down.”
“No.”
“I’m sorry, I cannot help you.”
The man looked at me as if I were the crazy one. “You don’t understand, it is bad, the police are on my tail, they followed me here.”
“Then I recommend you turn yourself in. I’m happy to represent you, assuming you can pay me a proper retainer, but I can’t promise you that I won’t be biased in favor of you going to jail seeing as how you walked into my office and pointed a gun at me.” I nodded my head as if coming to a firm conclusion. “Yes, you’re probably going to want to seek another attorney, one who you have not held at gunpoint.”
“You don’t understand, my sister is in trouble. It’s her ex-husband, he’s coming after her and I had to—”
“That’s all well and good, and I understand you have a situation on your hands with your sister, but it looks like you also have a situation if the cops are out there looking for you.” I looked out the window and saw another cop car rolling into the parking lot. My office was situated so I did not have a view of the parking lot in front of the building, so I did not know what the police were doing. “How did you get here anyway? On foot?”
The man came forward and put the gun right to my head. “You need to get me out of this situation. I know you can do it. I’ve seen your signs all over town, you’re smart, you’re quick, and you can keep them from arresting me. I have to go help my sister.”
“Let’s say that I want to help you, which I’m not saying that I do, especially because you are pointing a pistol at my head right now, but just for the sake of the argument let’s pretend I am going to help you, what part about any of the way you’re doing things makes you think that I will want to help?”
“Just go out there,” he said, “and tell them that you haven’t seen me.”
“I can’t do that for a whole host of reasons, but let me just give you one. I’m not allowed to lie, especially to a police officer. I could lose my license.”
“But you’re my attorney, you have to do what I tell you.”
“I am no such thing. I made it clear when you walked in that I would not be your attorney until you retained me. Also, I won’t be your attorney until you put down the gun.”
&n
bsp; “You’re gonna help me?”
“Yeah, but I need a retainer.”
“Okay,” the man said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a wad of cash, it was all hundred-dollar bills. I just took a quick glance but there must have been two thousand dollars.
He threw it down on the table. It wasn’t the first time I had been paid in cash and wouldn’t be the last, I wanted to ask why he walked around with so much money, but it seemed the least important issue of what was going on at the moment.
“Here’s my retainer, now are you my attorney?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. You must first put the gun down.”
“No.”
“Well then, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”
The man took a step closer, pointing the gun right at my head until it was just a few inches away. He then frowned at me, looking as if he expected me to finally cave. “I recommend you reconsider.”
“No.”
The man shook his head and looked around. “Is there a way out of this room?”
“No, the windows are all sealed.”
“Is there a backdoor out of this place?”
“No, but even if there was, I wouldn’t tell you.”
“But if I put the gun down, you will agree to be my attorney, correct?”
“Yes, in the matter of turning you over to the police, I will be your attorney.”
“What if I don’t want to go with the police?”
I just looked at him.
“I don’t agree to these terms.”
“Fine. I nodded towards the door. “The door’s that way, I suggest you use it.”
“No, now you’re my hostage.
3
I laughed. It was surprising that I was handling the situation so well, considering the potential for it to go sideways in a bunch of bad ways, but I was also happy to know that I had the ability within me to deal with conflict even when life and death were on the table.
“What’s so funny?”
“You are just not thinking, are you?” I pointed at the door. “The best thing you can do is turn yourself over to the police. If you do, I’ll even take back what I said, and I’ll represent you, at least through your arraignment, after that, I make no promises.”
“But I just gave you two thousand dollars.”
“Yeah, that’ll get you through the arraignment, maybe a little beyond. If you want me to take your case you are going to have to do better than that, especially when you’re moments away from being charged with aggravated kidnapping.”
“Kidnapping? Who am I kidnapping?”
“You just called me your hostage.”
“I suppose I did,” the man said a little glumly. “So you can help me if I put my gun down.”
“Yes. I will help you surrender to the police.”
“No, unacceptable.”
“I don’t think you understand, I cannot do anything else until you are in police custody. Once you are, then I can help you. While you are in the active commission of a crime, my hands are tied. I can help you turn yourself into the police, or if you want to walk out the door, I will give you a few seconds before I call the police over and alert them to your presence.” I paused as if in thought, even though I was not. “Of course, if you did that, they might open fire because you are armed. They don’t like it when armed men try to evade them.”
“If I put down my gun, you’re my attorney and you have to do what I tell you.”
I chuckled. “It doesn’t work quite like that. I have to do what you tell me within the confines of the law as guided by my own professional judgment.”
“Okay, so—”
The front door opened.
“Is anybody here? It’s the police.”
4
As I walked toward the door, the man followed me with his pistol and pointed it again at my head.
“What are you gonna do?” The man asked in a whisper.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said in a quiet voice. “You stay right here. I’ll be right back.”
“No.”
I shrugged. “Okay, come with me, if you want, but I don’t think it will work out well for you.”
“This is a bad situation. This is a bad situation.” He grabbed my arm.
I studied him.
“I don’t care if you come with me, I don’t care if you stay here. It is your choice. However, my choice is to respond to the police.” I freed my arm and walked towards the door. He acted as if he were going to say something, but then realized he probably shouldn’t, because we were now close enough to my office door that whatever he said would likely be overheard by the cop.
The man gave me a pleading look as I left my office.
“What a day,” I mumbled to myself.
When I got to the front door, I noticed that the police officer had waited outside, rather than come inside. The other police car was gone, making me think they didn’t know the man they were looking for was here.
I opened the door. “How can I help you?”
“We are looking for an armed man. Have you seen anyone suspicious?”
“I do believe you are referring to my client.”
“Your client?”
“Yes, I have just been retained by a man who is looking to turn himself in.”
“Perfect. Tell him I will accept his surrender.”
“He’s not quite ready to do that because he has a concern about his sister and her ex-husband.”
“Yes, he mentioned that when I tried to arrest him after pulling him over for speeding.”
“You were going to arrest him for speeding?”
“No, it was because he threatened me.”
“With a gun?”
“Yes.”
“You wait here while I negotiate the terms of his surrender.”
“Are you sure you want to walk back in there, sir?”
I paused but only for a second. “I want to peacefully resolve the situation.” I smiled at the cop. “Be right back.”
5
I walked back into my office, leaving the officer at the front door. “Okay, they’re ready to accept your surrender.”
“I didn’t tell you to do that!”
“No, but you hired me as your attorney, it is my obligation to do what I’m supposed to do, even if you don’t think I should do it for you. I’m going to have them help your sister before you turn yourself in. I need details.”
“I got a call from her, she said her ex-husband was at the door and that she needed help.”
“Did you call the police?”
“No.”
“Did she call the police?”
“No.”
I nodded. “You just tried to respond to the situation yourself and you were pulled over for speeding. That’s for the best because if you would’ve shown up, you might have ended up with a worse situation.”
“Agree to disagree,” he said, which was not surprising because people sometimes just got so wrapped up in their emotions it was easy to become blind to the obvious.
“So right now it sounds like the police officer wants to arrest you because you threatened him.”
“Correct.”
“With a gun.”
“Correct.”
It was difficult, but I somehow avoided rolling my eyes. “Here is what we’re going to do. You’re going to surrender and I’m going to make sure they send somebody over to respond to your sister’s situation. Got it?”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
“As a show of good faith, I want you to give me the gun.”
“No.”
“You need to do this.”
“No.”
“If you don’t, it’s not gonna go over well for you. You must give me your weapon.”
“No.”
I repressed a sigh. “Let’s think about the situation, is the ex-husband still over at your sister’s place?”
“As far as I know.”
“You need to get so
mebody over there as soon as possible, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, so how are you going to do that?”
He didn’t answer, he just looked at my window.
“We have to send the police, there is no other option. Before the police will help you, they need to know you’re not a danger to anybody else. So here’s what I’m gonna do, I am going to convince them to wait to arrest you until your sister safe.”
He hesitated but finally nodded. “Okay.”
“Give me the gun.”
“No.”
I put out my hand, took several steps forward, and even though he was almost pointing it at me again, I acted as if I expected him to give it to me without further discussion. I made no attempt to reach for it other than to hold out my hand.
“Your sister’s not gonna get any help unless you are no longer a danger to anybody else.”
He took a deep breath and put the pistol in my waiting hand.
“I’m trusting you.”
“Perfect.”
I walked out the door.
6
I hesitated outside my office, looking down at the gun the man had just given to me. Had I really just talked the man into giving up his gun?
Not only that, had I actually taken him on as a client?
I shook my head, wondering what my partner Veronica was going to say about all this.
I looked around for a place to store the gun, but then wondered if it wouldn’t be best for all involved if I just turned it over to the officer. I had thought about holding it back, but I decided it was better if it was just gone from my office.
I hesitated but only for a moment. I had not told the man what I was going to do with the weapon, but it was logical to hand it over to the police.
My mouth went dry when I reviewed my conversation with the officer and feared I had shared too much, divulging confidential client communications.
If I ran into any ethical problems, I could always claim the man had retained my services under duress and that a proper client attorney-client relationship had never formed.