by Toni Leland
Suddenly, Mustafa’s dark face stared at her from the television screen, bringing the nightmare back in full force. Do I want to know what this is about? Her reflexes were ahead of her reticence and, a second later, she was sorry.
“—led to Mustafa al-Ani, a member of the terrorist cell that blew themselves up on September Eleventh. Al-Ani had been working as a baggage handler at LaGuardia Airport since April of 2000.”
Another familiar face appeared and Jess’s pulse jerked. The newscaster continued.
“Hafez al-Nabi had been driving a food-service truck, delivering meals and beverages to various airlines at Bradley International. Both suspects had full access to secured areas of the facility. Airline schedules for both airports were found at the Bridgeport warehouse. Several arrival times had been circled, supporting the FBI’s belief that the group planned to shoot down one or more loaded flights as they landed. Police dogs combed the parking lots around the LaGuardia facility, finally
locating a van rigged with explosives in the packed short-term parking lot. The vehicle had an airport security pass displayed inside the windshield, and is believed to belong to one of the suspects employed by the Port Authority.”
Jess pressed the power button and the screen darkened. In this frame of reference, she could almost justify getting tangled up with Samir. If she hadn’t, would she be watching news of death and destruction at this very moment?
Twenty minutes later, she snapped a lead rope onto Danny’s halter and led him out the back door. He danced and pranced, testing the chilly breeze and snorting.
“Come on, Big Boy. I need you for moral support.”
She walked past the carriage house without giving it a glance, past the empty round pen, and through the gate. Danny dropped his head into the thick grass and snatched two mouthfuls before Jess tugged on the lead, urging him to follow her. She could see the dark entrance to the trail against the undergrowth at the edge of the trees on the far side of the field. Her heart thumped and her pace slowed. Danny grabbed another clump of grass. Each step on the frosty ground sent waves of pain rolling through her chest. Was she ready for this?
A few minutes later, she stood before a large mound of gray fieldstone. A sickening twist of nerves curled through her stomach. Danny stretched his long neck to nose the edge of a clear plastic bag wired to one of the rocks. Jess dropped to her knees and a sob erupted from deep inside. Through the sparkling, dew-covered plastic, two little girls smiled up from a yellowed newspaper clipping, and Jess and Casey’s first blue ribbon was tucked into the lower corner of the bag.
Chapter 53
By afternoon, the normal rhythm of a busy riding stable hummed in the background, and Jess buried herself in several projects that needed immediate attention. The new barn staff arrived together, and she spent two hours going over procedures, barn rules, and employment issues. Faith arrived for lessons, and added her two-cents’ worth. Life marched on, leaving no time for self-pity.
At four o’clock, Faith came into the office.
“I’m headed back now. I’ll be here real early to load horses.” She shifted from one foot to the other. “Are you going with us?”
Jess shook her head. “I can’t, Faith–you’ll do just fine.” She picked up a fat folder. “Here’s the paperwork, including duplicates of everything, in case you need them.”
Faith looked as though she might try to convince Jess to change her mind, then her expression softened.
“Okay, hon. See you in the morning.” She picked up the folder and started toward the door, then turned back. “I love you, Jess.”
Mona showed up late that afternoon, her face bright with enthusiasm.
“Jess, I really appreciate your confidence in me.” She looked embarrassed. “You can’t imagine how much I love being here.”
Jess recognized Mona’s open honesty, and thought, for the first time since they’d met, how hard the agent’s job must be. The possibility of dying in the line of duty had to be a daunting shadow over every day. Jess knew virtually nothing about this woman who’d given so much of herself.
“I realized you were the only person I would trust to take care of things while I’m away. The staff is too new for that much responsibility.”
Mona’s eyes reflected gratitude for the compliment. “Your timing is perfect. I’m on after-assignment light duty, and I also have some vacation time that I have to use, or forfeit.”
“I guess I lucked out that you didn’t have a trip planned.”
Mona’s face shadowed, and her smile faded. “I don’t have that luxury.” She hesitated, then shook her head. “My mother’s in a nursing home in Farmington. I stay pretty close to home.”
Jess felt instant remorse that she’d never wondered anything about Mona’s personal life. Trying to cover her discomfort, she gestured toward the stalls. “We have some new horses, if you feel like riding. The gray mare and the chestnut gelding are pretty sedate, but that bay mare needs some work.”
Mona chuckled. “I always like a challenge.”
“Now that’s an understatement.”
“Does Howard know you’re planning to visit?”
Jess whirled around. “How did you know?”
Mona rolled her eyes. “Pu-leeze, Jess! You two had lightning bolts snapping between you the whole time. It was like watching an old-time movie.” She chuckled. “I’m not as big a hard-ass as you think.”
The following morning, Jess watched the farm truck and horse trailer turn onto the highway. A twinge of guilt hovered in the recesses of her mind. She should have gone with Faith, offered to lend a hand, but selfishness reared its snakehead, supported by rationalization. Faith had been doing major horseshows for many more years than Jess. Other than possibly needing moral support, Faith could handle it. Jess’s shoulders drooped, and she faced the cold truth–she’d stepped out of the realm. The joy had gone, the excitement faded–now it was just a job.
As she stared at the end of the driveway, a van turned in. A knee-jerk thump bounded through her chest, then she exhaled as she read the large letters on the side: FedEx. Ten minutes later, she stared in disbelief at the Chase Manhattan cashier’s check for $100,000.
“Jeez, it’s either chickens or feathers around this place!”
A small piece of paper fluttered to the floor. The precise script intrigued her, but the message struck deeper.
“Dear Miss Rayder,
For what it is worth, I thank you again for believing me. In return, I offer the message of the Holy Qur’an: for guidance and mercy to bring forth all mankind out of the depths of darkness into the light. Peace be on you.
Sheikh Abdul ibn Mohammed.”
The message seared straight to Jess’s heart. With a history of centuries of discord in his own part of the world, this man could still feel hope, and see the possibility of a future where all people might know peace. Maybe her own beliefs weren’t so distorted, after all.
She folded the check in half, tucked it into the back of her desk drawer, and strode into the aisle. All the familiar sounds and smells wrapped around her, and she smiled. The future could only get better.
National security had advanced from orange to red since the FBI raid, and Jess nodded her endorsement as the airport parking garage guards searched the trunk of the car in front of her. In times past, she’d have chafed at the delay, but her brush with the enemy changed the way she thought about everything. Nothing to be taken for granted, or sloughed off as unimportant–evil could be on your doorstep at any moment.
She’d heard news reports that air travel had dropped since the incident, and now she saw it for herself. The usually jammed concourses were surprisingly uncrowded, except for armed National Guardsmen with dogs. A shiver ran over her shoulders. Would life in America ever again be as she remembered it? Anger followed the anxiety–by striking fear into the hearts of U.S. citizens, the terrorists had already won a victory.
She gazed out the small window at huge pillows of white cumulonim
bus clouds rolling past the jetliner. The plane hit an air pocket, and her stomach lurched. Then, apprehension threaded through her anticipation. She hadn’t called Howard, wanting to surprise him. Maybe that was a mistake. What if he wasn’t home? Just her luck, he’d be on his way to New York, or even to
Connecticut, to surprise her.
Another horrifying thought crashed into her head. What if he lives with someone? Or is married? She squeezed her eyes tightly, fighting the thoughts. No, he’s not the kind of guy who would–Hell, I don’t know anything about what kind of guy he is! Suddenly, she couldn’t believe she’d acted so impulsively, without thought to unforeseen consequences.
The clouds disappeared and, far below, the checkerboard of Midwest farmland appeared. She closed her eyes and turned off her brain.
Jess shaded her eyes against the brilliant sunshine outside the Spokane Airport terminal. An exotic shade of blue spanned horizon to horizon, and the promise of snow drifted on the crisp air. She inhaled deeply, then smiled as her earlier trepidation faded. New air, new surroundings, new opportunities.
Settling behind the wheel of a rented car, she consulted a map of the area. Coeur d’Alene lay thirty-seven miles east of Spokane, just across the Washington-Idaho border. Eagerness jerked through her heartbeat–in less than an hour, she’d be in Howard’s arms.
Unlike the teeming freeways in the East, the highway through Spokane held sparse traffic at midday. Modern buildings rose like shiny new pennies from the downtown area, and just past the urban center, lush green residential areas sprawled in all directions. Within minutes, the highway ribboned away from the city into a wild and beautiful landscape–the rolling foothills of the Rockies. Jess gazed in wonder at the scene, so different from the compact geography of central Connecticut.
Her cellphone chimed.
“Oh please, don’t let there be any problems in the barn.”
Heart thumping, she fumbled through her shoulder bag, keeping her eyes on the highway while she maneuvered to the side of the road.
Howard’s voice was the sweetest sound she’d ever heard.
“Hey, Jessie. How are you?”
She grinned. “I’m great!”
“You sound great–wish I was there.”
She could barely keep from giggling. He’d be so surprised when she showed up on his doorstep.
She composed her tone. “What’s the weather like out West?”
“We’re supposed to get some snow, not much–just enough to make it pretty. . .”
Jess held her breath, wondering at the hesitation in his voice.
“. . .I really miss you, Jess. All that stuff seems like months ago.I almost jumped in the Cessna this morning, but I know you need time to get everything sorted out. ”
“It won’t be much longer, Howard–I promise.”
Chapter 54
Jess crossed the border into Idaho, increasingly mesmerized by the towering evergreens on either side of the road. The colors and contrasts in this part of the country were breathtaking and inspiring. She tore her attention from the scenery and started watching for exit signs. The woman at the car rental counter had said to take the Spirit Lake exit to get to Howard’s lodge. The sign appeared and Jess headed north on a narrow two-lane road.
The picture postcard on her refrigerator hadn’t done the place justice. Set against a panorama of dark green forest, the magnificent turn-of-the-century log lodge glowed in the sun, a white spiral of smoke drifting lazily from the chimney.
By the time she’d parked the car, she could barely breathe from excitement. She closed her eyes briefly, preparing herself. In my entire life, I’ve never felt like this. Never. She climbed out of the car, took a deep breath, and started toward the entrance. A wide plank porch wrapped around three sides of the structure, complete with rough-hewn rocking chairs and milk-can spittoons. Just like in the movies. She stepped from the porch into the rustic entry hall of the lodge. After the brilliant outdoor light, she was momentarily blind in the dim room.
A cheerful voice greeted her. “Hello. Are you here for a room?”
Jess turned toward the female voice, and her stomach pitched. The most beautiful woman she’d ever seen stood behind the registration desk. Long, shiny black hair cascaded over both shoulders, framing a finely featured face with dark eyes, delicate eyebrows, and an aristocratic nose. Her perfect mouth smiled a welcome.
Oh man, I’ve really screwed up! There’s no way Howard’s not involved with this one.
The woman’s pleasant expression changed to one of confusion. “Is something wrong? Are you lost?”
“Jessie!” Howard’s laugh roared as he covered the short distance between them. “You devil!”
He scooped her into his arms and whirled her around, sending a dizzying flash of joy through her heart. When he set her down, she giggled, struggling to catch her breath.
“I almost blew it when you called.” She gazed into his eyes, sparkling with delight, a look that filled her with courage. “I’ve missed you, too.”
He kissed her soundly on the forehead, then turned to the woman at the desk. “Noji, this is my friend Jessica from Connecticut. Is the Roosevelt cabin available?” He turned back to Jess and grinned. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
The wind had picked up a little, and Jess shivered as she followed Howard along the path toward a beautiful rustic cabin built of heavy logs, and nestled in a stand of fir trees. Howard unlocked the door, and stepped aside for her to enter.
“This is the premium cabin–reserved for special guests only. There’s a folk-tale in these parts that Teddy Roosevelt stayed at the lodge on a hunting trip in the late 1800’s. Unsubstantiated, but it adds interest to the brochure.”
Jess gazed around the room, suddenly wanting to stay there forever, forget the heaping plate of responsibility waiting for her back home.
A fieldstone fireplace covered an entire wall, topped by a three-inch-thick oak mantel. Hurricane lamps sat at both ends, and a Thomas Kinkade painting hung high on the chimney face. By the granite hearth, a brown bearskin rug covered the floor in front of a deeply-cushioned sofa–a cozy spot to soak up the heat from a blazing fire. A chandelier crafted of antlers hung from the peak of the cathedral ceiling. A loft overlooked the living room, and Jess could see the corner of a four-poster bed.
No television. No phone. The place was perfect.
Howard moved toward another door. “You know how to build a fire?”
“Sort of.”
She followed him out onto the porch to the woodpile. The silence of the mountains comforted her, and she closed her eyes and inhaled the sharp, sweet air. In this place, she could find peace.
While Howard worked on the fire, Jess wandered through the rest of the cabin. A small kitchen contained everything necessary to cook full meals. An old oak table and four chairs sat next to a large window with a view of the side yard. She gazed at the blazing fire, feeling as though she’d traveled through time.
Howard slipped his arms around her from behind, his voice husky in her ear. “I’m not letting you out of my sight again.”
She leaned into him and closed her eyes. “Sounds good to me.”
They watched the fire in silence for a few minutes, then Howard cleared his throat. “I have some stuff to do, and I’m sure you want to rest up a little.” His tone became tentative. “Do you want to have dinner in the lodge restaurant, or here?”
Without hesitation, Jess turned in his arms and kissed him, savoring the tender lips she barely remembered, feeling his moustache soft against her skin.
“I want to stay right here.”
Freshly showered, toasty warm, and fully relaxed, Jess stood at the bank of windows overlooking the side yard. The late afternoon light faded quickly, and small flakes of snow drifted on the air. At the edge of the trees, a doe stepped into view, seeming to stare right through the window. After a moment’s hesitation, the animal dropped her head and nosed through the underbrush. Jess gazed at
the scene, her throat tightening as she imagined spending her life with Howard in such a setting. The beautiful lodge in the mountains, Howard in a heavy plaid wool jacket, trudging through the snow hand-in-hand, the solitude of the outdoors. Her eyes burned. How could any of that happen? All these years, she’d thought she had everything she’d ever want. What would have to change? What would she be willing to give up?
Over the soft crackle of the fire, the wind whistled around the eaves of the sturdy structure. Alone with her quandary, the afternoon stretched out, giving her room to advance and retreat, duke it out with her desires, and hope the answers would be the right ones.
Heavy boots stamped on the wooden porch, then Howard bumped through the door, his arms laden with grocery bags. The wind caught the door and slammed it back against the wall.
“Damn! This storm is way ahead of schedule.”
Jess hurried to close the door against the whirling snowflakes, and Howard carried the bags to the kitchen.
He hoisted a wine bottle. “First things first.”
While he uncorked the wine, Jess peered into the sacks. “You have enough food here for an army for a month.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “You think you’re going home? Think again.”