by Abbi Glines
I ignored the girls trying to get my attention. I just needed to get the hell away from everyone and hit something. I didn’t want to fucking care that Blythe was on a date. She wasn’t someone I could mess with. She was fragile. The more time I had spent with her, the more I realized just how fragile she was. I wasn’t good with fragile. I broke shit. I’d never forgive myself if I broke her. That would likely destroy me.
But could I just cut her out of my life? I’d missed her like crazy the past week. She made me laugh. Really laugh. And damn, I smiled all the time when she was around. I loved watching her find herself and her independence. It made the darkness that seemed to live in my chest ease up.
Blythe made me feel whole inside. I’d never felt whole. There was always this emptiness. I had tried everything to fill that dark ache inside, but nothing had ever worked. Until Blythe smiled at me.
“Break’s up,” Green said as he came through the door and slapped me on the back. “Cheer up. You’re thinking too much about this. Just be her friend. Be her motherfucking friend. That’s it. Try it. You might find you like it.”
I watched as my best friend grinned at me and nodded before turning to go back onstage. Green had been the only person in my life to really know me. He knew my dark places and he knew why they were there. Not even my sister knew everything. I couldn’t tell her; she’d blame herself for not protecting me. For leaving me. But Green knew. He’d seen it.
Should have known I couldn’t hide my battle with Blythe from him. He saw it all over my face. Was he right? Could she be my friend? Jess had been my friend. Sure, I’d wanted in her pants most of the time, but in reality she had been my friend. She’d accepted the dark side of me and she’d understood it. She also had been one of the toughest people I knew. Hurting her was impossible. At least for me. I knew I’d never break her.
Blythe wasn’t Jess. She was so innocent and . . . hell, she was precious. I closed my eyes and let out a string of curses. I was so losing badass points for that thought. Who the hell thought a girl was precious? Not fucking Krit Corbin.
“Think about it later, dipshit! We got a crowd to please,” Green yelled at me from the stage.
He was right. I shoved thoughts of Blythe to the back of my mind and put on my game face. Trisha would be watching me, and I needed to get her off the scent. If she thought I wanted Blythe, she’d bust her ass to get into my business. I loved my sister, but she was hell to shake when she got something in her head.
Chapter Eight
BLYTHE
There was no party that night. I had expected one, but the noise never came. I did hear feet walking around upstairs around midnight, but that was it. Nothing else. Linc had tried to be casual with his questions, but I could tell he had been curious about Krit. My answers were appeasing him.
When he had walked me to my door, he had kissed me. Like before, it had felt good, and the closeness had been nice. His taste was warm, and the gentle touches of his tongue against mine had been exciting. I had been happy to stand outside and kiss him for hours. But Linc had ended the kiss and then let out a deep breath before kissing me on the forehead and saying goodnight.
It had been my very first date, and it had been everything I had expected it to be. Linc had met all my expectations. I enjoyed his company, and I really enjoyed his kisses. Linc was nothing at all like Krit. Yet I still felt like I was waiting for him to realize I wasn’t worth his time—like Krit had.
Worrying about losing something I didn’t really have was pointless. Today I didn’t have to go into the office. On Saturdays it was closed because Pastor Keenan prepared for his Sunday sermon. I had spent my last few Saturdays studying, but today I wanted to do something else.
Yesterday had been payday, and it was time I splurged on a few more items of clothing. Pastor Keenan hadn’t complained about my jeans, but on the days I wore my sundress or one of the skirts I had worn to church back home, he made a point to mention that he liked how I was dressed. He never said that about my jeans.
I was lacing up my tennis shoes when a knock at the door startled me. It was ten in the morning on a Saturday. I had no friends. I couldn’t think of one person who would be at my door at this time. Tightening my laces, I stood up and went to open the door.
Krit standing there in a pair of jeans, looking too incredibly tempting for any female to deal with this early. The shirt he was wearing fit tightly enough that each of his six-pack abs muscles was outlined. I hated that shirt. It made me think things. Things I had to stop thinking where Krit was concerned.
“Morning,” he said with a slow grin.
He’d caught me ogling his abs. Crap.
“Morning,” I replied, and forced my eyes to stay on his face. Not his body. If only his eyes weren’t so pretty.
“You had breakfast yet?” he asked.
I shook my head as I stared at him, confused. Krit didn’t get up at ten ever. He partied all night and slept most of the day.
“Good. There’s this place I know that has incredible pancakes, and I want some pancakes,” he said then nodded toward the stairs leading down to the parking lot. “Come on. Eat breakfast with me.”
I should ask him why he was there. Why he wanted to have breakfast with me after he made it clear these past two weeks that he was done with this friends thing we had. I should ask him if this was because I had been on a date last night. But I didn’t do any of those things. Instead I reached for my purse and slipped it over my arm. Then turned back to him. “Okay,” I replied.
The dimpled grin on his face that never ceased to surprise me made my stupidity worth it. He stepped back and let me close and lock my door. Maybe he planned on explaining his exit from my life. Maybe there was a reason he had run from me like I had a disease.
“I’ll drive,” he said.
Frowning, I paused. “Do you have a car?” All I had seen him drive was a motorcycle.
He smirked. “Not anymore. I sold it,” he replied. Then he brushed his thumb over my cheek. “You scared of my bike?” he asked.
He was touching me. I let my eyes fall to his lips. They were fuller than Linc’s. They always looked so soft. His mouth was also wider than Linc’s. Would he kiss differently? Would it taste as good? The flash of metal in his mouth I had seen before would be there in his tongue. Could I feel it when his tongue touched mine?
“Blythe.” His voice sounded deeper than before.
I jerked my eyes off his mouth and looked back up at him. “Yes?”
He let out a shaky-sounding laugh and muttered something I didn’t understand. “You gonna ride my bike?”
His bike? He meant his big scary motorcycle. Was I? I wanted to. It would let me wrap my arms around him and feel his abs. Okay, maybe death was worth getting to feel Krit’s abs. I managed a nod. “You have an extra helmet?”
Krit slid his arm around my shoulders and started walking us toward the parking lot. “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t put you on my bike without something to protect this pretty head.”
He smelled good. I took a deep breath and inhaled his clean scent. I wasn’t sure what soap he used, but it reminded me of the sea.
“Did you enjoy your date last night?”
I nodded, afraid that if I said the wrong thing, he would remove his arm from around my shoulders and then I wouldn’t get to smell him.
“Amanda said Linc’s a nice guy.”
I nodded again and decided I probably should join this conversation instead of just answering with head gestures. “Yeah, he is.”
“Good” was his reply.
Good. That simple word felt funny in my chest. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling. Why? Did I want him not to like Linc? That would be silly.
He didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t move away from me either. When we reached his motorcycle, he pulled out a smaller helmet. It was silver and very feminine-looking. I hadn’t expected that. He must have had this for the females he gave rides to.
I put the helmet on my head and star
ted to fasten it, when Krit moved my hands away and did it for me. Then he tightened the straps. I watched his face as he seemed focused on making sure my helmet was nice and secure. My heart did a little fluttery thing that I couldn’t help.
“Nice,” he said when he was done. Then he winked and threw a long leg over the bike. It reminded me of every movie I had ever seen of the sexy bad boy climbing onto his motorcycle. Krit held his hand out to me. “Come on, love.”
I slipped my hand in his and managed to climb on the back without making a fool of myself. I had never ridden on a motorcycle.
“You’re gonna need to slid up close to me. Wrap your arms around my waist and hold on tight,” he said over his shoulder.
I had a few inches between us. The thought of sitting with my legs open like this and Krit fitting snugly between them was as terrifying as it was exciting. I reminded myself that this was just a ride. He had girls on his bike like this all the time. It was no big deal. I placed both of my hands on his waist. He reached down and grabbed them, tugging me up against him until my chest was pressed against his back. Then he took my hands and placed them on his stomach. I had to take a steady breath when I felt the ripples under my hands. It was almost enough to make me forget the fact I was plastered against Krit’s backside.
“That’s better,” he said with a pleased sound to his voice. Then he started the engine. The vibration ran through my body, causing me to cling tighter to him.
A chuckle came from him before we started to move. I closed my eyes at first and tried to think of something else. I was sure that if I saw cars moving around us, I would panic. We hit a bump in the road, and my chest and crotch bounced up against his hard back, snapping me out of my fear and slinging me right into something else, something entirely different.
Sucking in a quick breath, I let the heat from Krit’s body seep into me. He felt very, very good. Better than anything else I could ever remember. The rock-hard abs under my hands were so tempting. I wanted to tug his shirt up just enough so that I could slip a hand underneath. The colorful skin that had the snake tattoo on it had been burned into my memory.
I gripped his T-shirt tightly in my fist to keep from doing just that. I couldn’t feel him up. He’d think I was crazy. If I wanted to send him running away from me again, all I had to do was something like that. He wasn’t flirting with me. I knew the difference now. Linc flirted with me. His eyes always had a playful gleam that told me he was interested in me. That he wanted to spend time with me, and he like being around me.
Krit’s eyes didn’t have that twinkle. He was just friendly. Maybe that was it. Maybe I had stepped over some sort of invisible friend line that I didn’t know about before, and then he had run off. Was he giving me another chance to prove I could be a friend and not treat him like every other girl out there?
Was that what he wanted from me? For me to be an escape from his reality? I let go of the tight hold I had on his shirt and smoothed the fabric out without rubbing his stomach. I didn’t press my hands as tightly to him, and I eased away from him so that my breasts weren’t touching his back. Krit needed a friend. Someone not in his world, someone who didn’t expect him to drink, party, and entertain them.
And I wanted to be that for him. I wouldn’t think about his muscular body or his pierced tongue. Those would be off-limits. I would think of him as a friend. Someone who I didn’t have to impress and who didn’t have any expectations of me or me of him. We would just accept each other.
Krit pulled into the parking lot of a cute little diner. The coastal blue color of the wood-framed building had white trim and a large front porch. If it didn’t have the big sign out front that read, SUNNY-SIDE UP, I would have thought this was someone’s beach house. The parking lot still had several cars outside even though it was kind of late for breakfast and too early for lunch.
Once Krit had parked, he took one of my hands and helped me off the bike. My legs felt a little funny, but the feeling went away quickly. I started to take off the helmet, when Krit turned around and finished the task for me.
“Thanks,” I said, smiling at him with what I hoped told him I wanted to be his friend. I would be willing to be whatever it was he needed. No one had ever needed anything from me before. The idea that he might need me for something made me feel special.
“Did you enjoy it?” he asked, hanging the helmet on the handlebars before glancing back at me.
“Yes. Once I realized I wasn’t about to die,” I answered honestly.
Krit laughed then reached for my hand. “Come one, love. Let’s go eat. You’re gonna love the food here.”
KRIT
I should have fucked someone last night. It was screwing with my head. Getting up at the ass-crack of dawn just so I could take Blythe to breakfast was insane. I could have gotten some sleep and taken her to dinner. And having her on the back of my bike was a terrible idea. We should’ve taken her car.
This was going to be my attempt at salvaging the friendship we had started. Thinking about how good her tits looked in that tank top and how much better they had felt on my back was not what this was supposed to be about. I was gonna have to call Brit when I got finished. She would take the edge off.
“You’re really talented. I enjoyed hearing you sing last night,” Blythe said in that sweet musical voice of hers.
I hoped the fact that I was imagining her naked and wrapped around my body wasn’t all over my face. “I’m glad you came. My sister enjoyed meeting you. Green had mentioned our new neighbor, and she is always curious.” More like Green told Trisha I was making up reasons to go visit our new neighbor all the damn time.
“She was really nice. I’m having lunch with her this week,” Blythe said, smiling, but I could see the nervous look in her eyes. “I mean . . . I hope that’s okay. I don’t mean anything by it. Just she asked me to go to lunch. She seems really nice and all, and I haven’t made any friends, exactly.”
That stung. I deserved it, but it still stung.
Her eyes flew open more, and she shook her head with a horrified expression on her face. Damn, she was adorable. “I mean. You, of course. I mean, I think we’re, I mean, you’re, I mean, uh. I know you’re a . . . friend . . . kind of . . .” She stopped trying to make sense of her ramblings. Then she pressed her lips together and dropped her eyes toward the table.
I had fucked with her head, running off like I had. Most girls would have shown up at my door demanding attention. Blythe had just accepted my absence and gone on with her life. She didn’t demand anything of anyone. Girls who looked like her usually used their beauty as weapons. She didn’t make any sense. She acted like she deserved to be treated poorly.
“About that,” I said, knowing I needed to apologize. She didn’t lift her eyes to meet mine. “I’m sorry I ran out on you that night and that I haven’t been by to see you since. I had some shit going on in my head, and I was worried. . . . I just didn’t know. . . . Fuck.” I needed to just say it. Get it out there. “I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about what we were doing. About why I was showing up with dinner and coming around so much. You’re not the . . .” I wasn’t going to say she wasn’t the kind of girl I fucked because it sounded wrong. “I like being around you. You make me smile and I like that. I missed you these past two weeks and I would still like to be your friend. If you would consider me as a friend, that is,” I finished.
She lifted her eyes to meet mine, and the relieved look in them told me all I needed to know. She didn’t want more than a friendship with me anyway. I wasn’t going to hurt her. She knew she was too good for me. Even if she seemed completely in the dark about her beauty, she knew I wasn’t the kind of guy she deserved.
“I’d like that. I have fun with you too. And I missed you. I don’t expect anything other than friendship.”
The plate of pancakes I ordered was set down in front of me, and the same exact order was set down in front of Blythe. There was no way she could eat all that, but I figured what she di
dn’t finish I would.
“This looks really good,” she said, grinning, and then a giggle escaped her lips. “I can’t believe they have whipped cream on them. And peanut butter.”
I winked at her before picking up my fork and knife. “Sweetheart, if pancakes don’t have whipped cream and peanut butter on them, then they aren’t worth eating.”
She licked her lips, causing me to almost drop the damn forkful of gooey goodness into my lap. The fantasies I’d had about her tongue. Shit! I had to get a grip.
“I’ve never actually had pancakes,” she admitted.
This time I did drop my fork.
Chapter Nine
BLYTHE
Pastor Williams hadn’t called me in the month that I had been gone. It wasn’t that I expected him to, really, because we had never talked much, but then again he had been my guardian for my entire life. Did he not care if things were working out for me? Or was he just glad that I was gone? More than likely, it was the latter.
I only had one photo from my childhood, and it was one a teacher had taken of me with my classmates in the fourth grade. She gave each student a copy in a heart-shaped frame for Valentine’s Day. I was never given a phone with a camera, and things like Facebook were off-limits to me. If Mrs. Williams had ever seen me doing anything like that, I would have paid for it.
Looking around my apartment, I realized there was a coldness to it. I had nothing to show for my life. Nothing to remember it by. I wanted memories that I could cherish. There was no reason to be sad because of my past. What I needed to do was focus on my life now. I had friends now. I also had a phone with a camera, and a laptop.
When I walked in the door, I wanted there to be photos of people in my life that made me smile. I wanted to see moments I would always remember. If I didn’t want to be different, then I needed to learn how to live like a normal person. I had thought coming here, that hiding out in my apartment and writing, was all I wanted to do.
I knew now I had been wrong. I hadn’t known about the things in life: like how good a kiss felt or how nice it felt to be held by someone. I had never had someone tell me about themselves and listen to me talk in return. Having had a taste of both, I wasn’t willing to go back to being that girl who closed herself off from the world and everyone who might hurt her.