by Naomi Niles
Cynthia pulled me in for a deep hug and I fell against her sadly, allowing the emotion to eat me up for a few minutes. Thankfully, my sister didn’t try to offer me advice or to cheer me up; she simply allowed me to feel for a while, before putting the car into gear and pulling away, taking me away from the first person that had made me feel anything in a very long time.
“You’ll feel better after a sleep,” she told me confidently. “Everything will look better in the morning.”
As I gazed out of the window and I watched the world go by, I prayed that she was right.
Chapter 13
Miles – Tuesday
“What time is Sean coming over?” my mother asked me happily. I watched her for a second, practically skipping around the kitchen as she prepared the food excitedly for Christmas dinner the following day, and I felt an intense rush of love for her.
Sean might have always had all of the money in the world, but his parents had never been there for him, and for that I actually felt bad for him. Ever since he moved to Minnesota, he’d been spending Christmas Eve and day with me and my mother, and I knew that deep down there was a jealousy there. He was grateful too, of course, but I was certain that he would much rather be with his own family given half the chance.
I might not have had a father in my life, and we might have never had a lot growing up, but I would always have my mom, and I was extremely grateful for that. She was a wonderful woman who always put me first, and loved me fiercely – there was never any doubt in that. I would trade all the money in the world to have her, and I hoped that she could see that. I tried my best to never take her for granted, but sometimes life got in the way and made me inadvertently act a little selfish.
“Yeah, he’ll be here any minute now,” I replied distractedly. To be honest, ever since that night, I’d been doing everything distractedly. All I could really think about was Danielle. We’d had the most phenomenal night of my entire life, which had resulted in my opening up enough for us to have sex, just to find myself alone come morning.
I had to admit, waking up by myself had really sucked. I rolled over, hoping to pull Danielle in for another hug, or maybe even something else, just to find myself in an empty bed all by myself. It left me cold, sad, and extremely hollow inside.
I’d half assumed that maybe she was in the shower or something, in my naïve hope, but then my eyes fell on her little call me note, and I’d been forced to accept that I had been blown off, and that she was gone, leaving me all messed up with confusion.
She wasn’t Hailey, and I didn’t think that she’d done anything on purpose to hurt my feelings, but the pain had been there regardless.
I glanced over to my mom, my closest confidant in the entire world, and I considered opening up to her about it all, to get some solid advice. The only problem was her protectiveness of me. I knew that she was keen for me to move on and to make a future for myself, but I didn’t think that she would like me being abandoned in the morning, and for some reason I didn’t want to taint my mother’s view of Danielle just yet. Just in case.
Ding dong.
Saved by the bell!
“I’ll get it,” I grinned, hopping off my chair. “He’s right on time.”
As I swung the door open, Sean cheered in jest and revealed loads of shopping bags with him. I got the impression that he tried to make up for imposing on our every Christmas by buying us loads of stuff, and that didn’t stop no matter how many times I told him that it really wasn’t essential, that we wanted him to come regardless.
“Go and shove it all under the tree,” I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Mom can’t wait to see you.”
“At least someone is happy to see me,” he replied, trying to make light of a situation that so clearly hurt him badly. “My mom is swanning it up in Paris somewhere.”
As I watched my mom and Sean get caught up with one another’s lives, I was feeling intensely happy that we could all be together. I might be still feeling a little raw from being left alone by Danielle, but that was nothing that a lovely, family get-together couldn’t fix. Being around people that loved me could make anything right.
“Beer?” Sean asked, chucking one over. As I grabbed it from him and took a swig, he gave me a funny look. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I nodded a little too seriously. “At least, I think so.”
Clearly sensing that I needed a talk alone with my friend, momushered us into the front room to have a quiet drink in front of the TV. Once we were there, settled, and half watching a game of football, I started to tell Sean what had gone on.
“So, I met up with that girl from Nobby’s,” I told him, instantly grabbing his attention.
“You did?” he gasped excitedly. “Did you solve the mystery? Do you know where you met her now?”
“She eventually confessed that I didn’t already know her,” I admitted, causing Sean to roll his eyes as if he already suspected that much. “But she isn’t like a fan or anything; she was set up to ask me out by her sister.”
“Oh no, so it was a dare?” He looked disappointed for me, which made me lose another bolt of confidence. What if that was all it was to her? A dare that ended up going a little too far? But then I remembered the desire in her eyes and the way that she looked at me like she truly felt something. No, however it started, she liked me a lot, which made it even weirder that she’d left me by myself.
“Erm, kind of. I think her sister wants to meet Marek…but anyway,” I shook my head, getting off topic. “We did the ice skating lesson that she wanted, then I invited her back to mine for dinner. She actually cooked for me.”
“What did she make?”
“Fish tacos,” I laughed. “But you’re really focusing on the wrong part. We ended up hooking up.”
“Wait,” Sean shook his hands, forcing me to stop talking. “Wait, wait, wait. You kissed? Or really hooked up?”For a second, I remembered her skin, her breasts, her gorgeous naked body, and a smirk fell onto my lips. I could feel my cheeks heat up, which so clearly gave me away because Sean nodded, and chuckled.“Okay, say no more, I get it now.”
“And honestly, it was awesome. You know what my history is like with regards to Hailey and stuff, so it did take me a lot to make that choice, and it was fantastic.”
“Finally!” he cheered for me. “You needed to move on, you needed to take that step, so it’s really good that you have.”
“Well, here’s the thing,” I carried on, really needing to hear his honest opinion about this. “She was gone in the morning. She did leave me a note, but she left, and I don’t know what that means.” I sighed and looked down at the floor, no longer able to make eye contact with Sean. “Does it mean that it was just a one-night stand, or does that mean she wants me to call? I don’t want to do anything that embarrasses me and leaves me looking like an idiot.”
“Man, what you need to do is find a casual way to ask her out. You don’t want to leave it too long and give her time to think that you aren’t interested, and you don’t want to go for the date because that might be a bit too serious. Just find a way to invite her out as if it’s for friendship. That will give you a better idea of how she feels.”
I nodded, really giving this a thought. He was right, and I was grateful to him for that. Of course that was the easiest way to do it –why hadn't I thought of that before?
“Shall we go and see the lights, boys?” Mom called into the room, bringing up the other part of our Christmas tradition, taking me away from my problem for the time being. “Before it gets too late.”
“Yes mom,” we both said in unison, laughing happily.
*****
As we wandered through the town, I felt myself really getting into the Christmas spirit. There was nothing nicer than this time of year, especially when it was as snowy as it was. I felt my sprits lift up tenfold, and on a whim, I followed through on my friend’s advice.
‘Hi, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I’m having a New Year�
�s Eve party next week, if you want to come?’
Okay, so that wasn’t exactly true…yet anyway, but it was the most casual and fun thing that I could think of. My apartment wasn’t exceptionally huge, but I could have a suitable gathering there, and I was certain that a lot of the boys from the team would come with their friends, even if it was a bit last minute.
Only a few moments later, my phone beeped with a reply, causing my heart to race excitedly.
‘Hey, that sounds great! I’ll be there? Can I invite my sister too? And just before she makes me ask you, I’ll say it now…will Marek be there?’
I chuckled to myself as I read that, imagining Danielle smiling as she typed that. At least she agreed; that had to be a good sign, right?
‘Sure, see you then.’
I would make Marek come, whatever his plans. If I told him that a gorgeous girl wanted to hang out with him, that would be enough to persuade him. He was a sucker for a pretty face, and from what I’d seen of Cynthia, she was gorgeous too.
“What’s going on?” Sean asked, peering over my shoulder. “What you grinning at your phone for?”
“I took your advice,” I told him happily. “I texted Danielle and asked her out on a casual friend date, and she said yes!” I wanted to fist pump with excitement, but I just about managed to hold it in, keeping my cool demeanor.
“Brilliant,” he grinned, over the mood for me. “What did you suggest?”
“Erm, well that’s where the problem lies,” I confessed, cringing slightly. He wasn’t going to like this bit, not one bit. Especially not when I told him how much work it would be for him, as well as me. “I told her that I was having a party at mine for New Year’s Eve.” He remained silent, staring at me as if I was a little bit mad. “And I need you to help me plan it.”
“Man, have you gone insane?” he asked. “All this for one chick?Was she really that great? I mean, it’s gonna be expensive and chaotic to book things this late, you know?”
I gave him a look. “Dude, she was better than great, and I really need this. Help me, please? I can’t do it alone, and everyone knows that you’re an expert party planner.”
I was buttering him up of course, even he knew that, but he really did have a lot of connections that could help me with this. He was always organizing some gathering or another, most of the time to give him something to do, so I really needed him onside.
“Okay,” he finally conceded, as I fluttered my eye lashes at him playfully. “As long as I can bring Ally?”
“Is Ally the infamous almost girlfriend? She must be getting serious if I’m finally hearing a name.”
“What are you two whispering about?” mom suddenly jumped in, making me jump. “Must be something juicy.”
Me and Sean glanced at each other, before dobbing each other in, seeing who could speak the quickest.
“Sean has a girlfriend.”
“Miles had a date,” we said at the same time, before bursting into laughter.
“Oh God, you two,” mom rolled her eyes. “Now you’re going to have to tell me everything.”
Chapter 14
Danielle – Wednesday – Christmas Day
“Wake up,” Cynthia whispered into my ear early on Christmas morning, in the same way that she used to when we were kids. I would have always been happy to lay in until late morning, but she would always be shaking me at the crack of dawn, forcing me down the stairs. “Let’s go and see our gifts.”
“Leave me alone,” I grumbled playfully, refusing to open my eyes. “I don’t want to get up yet. I’m tired. Leave me to sleep!”
“But you haven’t seen your present,” she whined like a childish, spoiled princess. “I got you something amazing; you’re going to love it.”
The real reason I didn’t want to open my eyes was because I’d been having the most amazing dream about Miles that I wasn’t quite ready to give up yet, but her comment about a present had me sitting bolt upright with my eyes wide open...but not for the reasons that she was thinking.
“I have a gift for you,” I told her excitedly. “And I can give it to you right now!”
“Don’t you want to wait until we go downstairs?” she replied a little distractedly, not understanding the magnitude of what I was trying to tell her.
“I have gotten a party invite to Miles’s house for New Year’s Eve,” I told her with the biggest grin ever on my face. “And so have you.” She glanced towards me, finally taking note, with a shining excitement in her eyes. “And Marek will be there, so you can finally meet him at last.”
“Oh my God,” she screamed, slapping her hands across her mouth. “Are you serious? Do you really mean it?”
“I do,” I laughed at her exhilaration. “Best gift ever, right?”
“Oh crap, now the scarf I got you doesn’t seem quite so exciting,” she admitted, looking a little subdued. “Sorry about that one.”
“Come on,” I grabbed her hand, wanting to keep the good mood going throughout the rest of the day. “Let’s go and have breakfast.”
It was a tradition of my family to eat a full, continental breakfast on Christmas morning in our pajamas. We were supposed to do it before opening any of our gifts, but it never quite worked out like that. Cynthia always got to the presents early on, winding mom up – and that was something that never changed, no matter how old we got.
I sat to the table, eyeing up the croissants and pastries that mom had laid out for us, while my older sister began to explore the gifts. She started organizing her own pile, making me laugh at her childishness, but instead of enjoying the moment like she was supposed to, she seemed to feel the need to pull me aside to give me a very unnecessary lecture.
“I just want to talk to you about Miles,” she stage whispered at me, causing me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion. What the hell could she have to talk to me about? She only met the guy for about two seconds. Unless…had Cynthia told her what had happened? I would die if that were the case.
“What’s the matter?” I asked warily, looking at her under my eyelashes. If she said anything embarrassing, I might just die.
“I just wanted to warn you to be careful with him,” she said with an overly concerned tone. “He’s big time, and sports people with that level of fame like to…take advantage of fans.”
“What?!” I gasped in shock. She didn’t even know Miles; how the hell could she just assume that about him? He might have been famous, and rich, and all the rest of it, but I really didn’t get the impression that he was that way at all.
“It’s just, well, you’re just a girl, and I don’t want you to end up getting hurt.” She held my hands in hers, as if she was actually concerned about me, but a big part of me felt like she just wanted to undermine me all over again. “Anyway, I best get back to dinner,” she grinned, as if things were much better now, but realistically they were a whole lot worse.
How dare she?
Instead of sitting around feeling increasingly pissed off, I raced upstairs and threw some clothes on. Then, on a whim, I grabbed my ice skates to go outside for some more practice. I could easily continue sitting in that front room, allowing myself to feel upset, or I could get some space and some fresh air, to come back here later on with a clearer head.
Although I wasn’t about to get out undetected.
“What’s going on?” Cynthia asked me, racing up the stairs behind me. “What are you doing?”
“I just want to go out and have a skate,” I told her, pleading with her via my eyes. I wanted her to understand, to get that I just needed some time.
“Okay,” she nodded, seemingly okay with that. “Can I come with you? Just to watch?”
At first I felt a little dismayed by this, but then I realized that my sister wasn’t the person that I was angry at, and that some company might do me good. “Sure,” I smiled, actually looking forward to getting some advice from her. Maybe I was being naïve to assume that Miles might actually like me? Cynthia would tell me the truth,even i
f it did affect her and Marek, I was sure of it.
As I tried my best to glide across the ice in the way that Miles taught me, Cynthia sat on a nearby bench. I appreciated her support, and that she was outside with me in the cold, rather than hanging out indoors, opening her gifts like I was certain she would prefer to be doing.
“You’re getting better,” she called, a little unsure about her statement. “Miles must be a good teacher.”
“Yeah,” I nodded, moving over to her for a break. “He is.”
“So, can I ask what the deal is with you two?” she started, a little cautiously. “You just…you seem a little all over the place at the moment.”
I paused thoughtfully for the moment, trying to organize my thoughts in my mind, wanting to get it out properly. “I guess my problem is that I really like him, far more than I should.” I sighed deeply and sadly, realizing just how true that was. “He’s exactly the sort of person that I could see a future with, but I have to hold myself back because it can’t ever go anywhere.”
“Why not?” Cynthia asked, shrugging her shoulders as if she didn’t get it at all.
“Because my course is in San Diego, and I have to go back there in three weeks. I find relationships hard enough to maintain, never mind when they are long distance.”
“So move here,” she laughed, as if it was completely obvious. “Transfer to the college here and be with him. If he honestly makes you happy, then you should give it a go. Life is far too short to be unhappy.”
“It isn’t that simple,” I told her as my mind whirred. “It can’t be. I have my life, and I’ve got a year and a half left of my course. I can’t just uproot that for a guy that I don’t know. That I only slept with once.”
“Why not?” she insisted strongly. “How romantic would that be?”
I rolled my eyes, thinking over mom’s words all over again. “I’m not good enough for him,” I shot back, needing to make her understand how impossible this way. “He’s a pro hockey player, and he’s gorgeous too, whereas I’m just me.”