by Naomi Niles
As I moved closer towards the goal, I spotted a guy from the other team inappropriately tackle Gaz in a way that I was certain was a foul. I allowed my attention to be distracted for a moment, certain that the ref was about to blow the whistle to halt the game, which left me open and in trouble. I wasn’t sure what happened, only that someone slammed painfully into the side of me, knocking me to the ice with a thump.
I hit my head on the way down, which sent a cold dizziness racing through me. I had my helmet on of course, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but because of the headache that was already there, it took me a little longer than it should have to recover.
“Man? Man?” I could feel someone shaking me, so I rolled over to get a look at who it was. My blurry vision could just about make out the shape of Benji, who was still looking pretty green. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I gasped, a little stunned, forcing myself up on to my elbows. “Yeah, I’m okay.” I glanced around, seeing everyone on the rink watching me, which suggested that the fall was worse than I first assumed. It was likely that someone had been sent off, and that somehow I’d managed to miss the entire thing.
“Can you keep playing?”
I considered this for a moment, really trying to think it through. I didn’t want to keep playing because of pride, and end up causing the team to fail, but at the same time I really didn’t want to leave the rink either.
“Yeah,” I finally decided. “Yeah I’m fine, I can play. I’ll be fine. Thanks bro.”
I wobbled a little as I got back up, but soon found my feet again, and started to move along the ice once more…only a little bit more cautiously.
Chapter 20
Danielle – Thursday
“What the hell?” I jumped up, and pressed my body against the bars, needing to see what the hell was happening with Miles. “What just happened?”
Me and Cynthia watched in awe as the guy who slammed into Miles got sent off the rink, but it wasn’t him that I cared about. I wanted to know if Miles was all right. I already knew that ice hockey was a dangerous game, and I’d spent a lot of time staring at that scar across his cheek, but seeing it for myself was something else. All I wanted to do was to run down there and to wrap my arms around him.
“Do you think he’s hurt?” I asked Cynthia, with distress plastered across my face. “What do you think I should do?”
“He’s fine now,” she laughed a little too loudly – proving what I already suspected, that she was still a little drunk. “He’s getting back up look.”
I sunk back into my seat, watching him regain his standing on the ice once more. I couldn’t help but notice that he was still better at skating than me, even when he’d hit his head.
“He’s probably used to that sort of thing,” Cynthia rubbed my arm in a comforting gesture, trying her best to reassure me. “I’m sure it happens all the time.”
“Yeah,” I gasped, panting a little heavily. “I’m sure you’re right.”
I could sense that Cynthia was about to launch into a lecture, so I forced myself to change the subject quickly, wanting to turn the focus back onto her for a while. I already knew that she had gone back to Marek’s last night because in the end I had been forced to call her when I couldn’t find her, but for some reason she’d managed to restrain herself about telling me what had happened up until now.
Unfortunately, that was a can of worms that I was now going to have to open.
“Distract me,” I pleaded with her. “Tell me what happened.”
“Oh my God,” she sighed, swooning as she slumped back into her seat. “Marek is amazing: what a night.”
I kept my eyes focused on Miles, watching him intently as he slowly got back to his usual standard, half listening to Cynthia as she spoke.
“He’s just such a freaking sex God; honestly, I’ve never had anyone like him,” she practically squealed, not caring if anyone could overhear her. “I mean, he made Derek look like the most boring man on the planet!”
“Derek is the most boring man on the planet,” I admitted, needing her to never go back to him. Marek would never be good for my sister, but I didn’t want her to go back to Derek either. What she needed was something in between. “But you did hear my warning last night right? You know he’s something of a player.”
“Oh God, I know,” she reassured me. “I’m not falling in love with him. I’m just treating him as a bit of fun…and my God, what fun he was!”
This statement caused a weird twinge inside of me. Why was Cynthia so much more emotionally adjusted as me? Why was she able to have a bit of fun with a douche bag like Marek, and just be totally okay with that?Why did I have to go and do something stupid like catch feelings? I knew that it couldn’t ever go anywhere, and I couldn’t seem to stop my heart from falling for him anyway.
What the hell was wrong with me?
“Anyway,” she suddenly changed the subject, and started climbing over me. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she grinned. “Do you want anything while I’m there?”
“Yeah get me a hot dog,” I smiled as a reply. “And some popcorn…and a coke as well.” I needed some comfort food, and I was fully prepared to take advantage of my sister’s rare generosity.
As she left me alone, I refocused my attention back on the game. Well, not on the game at all because I didn’t fully understand what was going on, but on Miles. He looked a lot better now, like the fall was totally forgotten which flooded me with relief. I didn’t like seeing him hurt one bit, and I felt like that proved how deep my feelings ran for him. The only reason we’d even gotten together was because of Cynthia wanting to hook up with Marek, and she’d seen him knocked over about eight times without even blinking an eye.
Why couldn’t I just switch the feelings inside of me off? Why did they have to keep getting stronger, no matter what I did? Urgh, I was driving myself crazy.
“So what are you going to do?” Cynthia asked, as she slammed back into her seat, handing me the food and drink. “Where are things going with Miles now? I know you said that they can’t ever go anywhere, but it seems like you’re just falling deeper?”
Urgh God, why did she have to be so perceptive? And so blunt with it too? If it were anyone else, I would tell them where to go, but since this was my sister,I felt like I owed her an explanation.
“Nothing’s changed,” I admitted, keeping my eyes fixed only on the ice. I felt like if I looked at her, everything would come spilling out, and the emotion would become too much for me. “I still like him, I still wish that things were different, but they aren’t. I still have to go back to San Diego, and he still lives in Minnesota.” I shrugged, trying act blasé, but I wasn’t sure how that came across. “What about you and Marek? You’ll be back in Boston soon enough.”
“Oh God, I’m not even slightly concerned about that,” she waved her hand dismissively. “Marek is hot as all hell, and amazing in bed, but he’s never going to be long term. I’ll go back to Boston, get back to work, and start dating again.”
I was pleased to hear that she seemed to be taking this in a very cool and considered manner, with her smart head on, but there was definitely a haunted look behind her eyes that suggested to me maybe she wasn’t being quite as honest with me as she was making out.
“Well, I don’t know,” I continued, no longer feeling like I wanted to push her on a topic that was so clearly making her uncomfortable. “I guess I’ll just see what happens. Maybe it’ll all somehow work out fine.”
The game continued, and we both watched on in silence, but I got the impression that Cynthia was as lost in her thoughts as I was, trying to decipher everything that was going on inside.
*****
Once the match ended, with our boys winning only just, and the stadium filtered out, I felt good that I’d finally managed to see Miles play. It really was amazing to see him doing what he loved the most. I’d heard a lot about him, but seeing it was something else – an experience I hoped to replicate
at some point in my life.
“That was good fun!” I told Cynthia excitedly. “I never realized how awesome ice hockey was.” Seeing the game made me understand Kim a little better. I could understand now how she’d gone from not knowing anything about football, to being almost an expert…all because of Spike.
Before Cynthia got the chance to answer me, my phone pinged with a message from Miles, which made me think that he’d headed right into the changing room and contacted me instantly.
‘Wow – what a nice surprise to see you at the game. Sorry it wasn’t my best, but I hope you had fun anyway!’
I smiled, and wrote back instantly.
‘I did! I didn’t like it when you got hurt though, I’m glad you are all right.’
We pushed through the crowds, wanting to get back to the car quickly so that we could get home, but I wasn’t as eager as Cynthia to leave because Miles kept on texting me.
‘We have another away game tomorrow, so we’re heading off almost right away, but I do owe you another ice skating lesson – are you free anytime next week?’
This made me think sadly about how soon my time in Minnesota was coming to an end. It was strange to think that way, considering how I hadn't been keen to come here in the first place, but all of a sudden, going back home to college and my course and the sunshine didn’t seem as appealing as it once did.
‘I’m around all week, let me know when.’
I wasn’t interested in playing it cool; there was no time to play games. I just had to get out of the experience what I could, and enjoy it as much as possible.
‘I can make dinner afterwards again if you like?’
That was fun last time, and I didn’t even do all of the cooking by myself, so I would be more than happy to repeat the experience with him.
‘No, you don’t have to. I would much rather take you out for dinner. Would you like to go for a nice meal at the restaurant on the ski slopes afterwards? I think you’ll love it there.’
My heart pounded excitedly at the thought of having a real date with Miles, an actual meal out in public. I didn’t have a clue where he was talking about, but at least it didn’t sound like some place in the town where we would be seen with a lot of people. It wasn’t that I wanted to keep our romance a secret, but I wasn’t particularly keen for it to become public knowledge either. I just wanted to keep it between ourselves for the time being.
‘Sounds great, can’t wait.’
As I slid my phone back into my pocket, and made my way out into the parking lot, I started to wonder how the hell I was going to spend the next few days without Miles. It was absolutely gutting that he had to play all these games during our short time together, but of course it couldn’t be helped.
Maybe it would be good practice for when we were apart anyway. Maybe it would give me some time to reflect and really come to terms with what life would be apart. I knew that I sounded a little crazy, even to myself, but I had really become immersed in my feelings for Miles, and that was something that I needed to deal with.
“What do you want to do when we get back?” Cynthia asked me as we finally got out on the road. “I’m too hung over to do much; shall we rent some movies and chill out?”
“Yeah, sounds good to me,” I replied, forcing a smile on my face. “I couldn’t think of a better way to spend New Year’s Day.”
“And we can discuss our resolutions,” Cynthia laughed, making light of the fact that we always made ridiculous over the top resolutions, knowing that we would never keep them. It had become a tradition of ours ever since we were kids. “I might get myself into space this year!”
“Okay that sounds good,” I replied with mock seriousness. “And I might open up my own zoo.” I began to feel a little better as we joked between one another. “I’ve always fancied looking after lions and elephants. I might even get some penguins too.”
“Yeah, you’d be good at that,” Cynthia joked. “You’ve had a lot of practice dealing with crazy, stubborn animals that won’t ever listen to you.”
I guessed that she was making a joke about her not heeding my warning about her and Marek, which made me a little uncomfortable. There was definitely something there, a story that I needed to get to the bottom of, but not yet, not today. Maybe when we were both a little less fragile.
Chapter 21
Miles – Five Days Later – Tuesday – First Week of January
The week that followed was brutal. We didn’t seem to stop playing even for a moment – when we weren’t in the middle of a game, Coach Jordan was busting our asses and he had us training, almost as if he was trying to make up for our lackluster game on New Year’s Day – so by the time we got back home, I was absolutely knackered.
But I didn’t want to sleep, not when I knew Danielle was out there waiting to see me.
We had been exchanging messages every spare moment I could when I was away, and every now and again the messages had become a little steamy, growing my levels of excitement the entire time. I was also acutely aware that her time was running out and that we needed to spend every damn moment together until she was gone.
The bus dropped me off home and I had the fasted shower known to man before racing over to hers to spend a little more time together. Under normal circumstances, the last place on Earth I would want to be is back on the ice after a trip like that, but I promised Danielle another ice skating lesson and I fully intended to give it to her. She might have been pretty terrible on the ice the last time we were out there, but she was a whole lot of fun to be around regardless, and it made me feel special to be able to impart some wisdom, to be able to help Danielle using my skills.
I knocked tentatively on the door, and her father answered almost right away. My guard instantly shot up as I felt like I knew a side of him that wasn’t particularly nice from the way that he pressured Danielle to be something that she wasn’t. But I plastered a big smile on my face regardless, fully aware that while I didn’t particularly have to like everything that he did, I needed him to like me. Just to make things that much easier.
“Hello, Mr. Fisher,” I said holding out my hand to him in a very polite gesture, which he shook happily.
“Please, call me,Ashley,” he grinned, inviting me inside. “It’s nice to see you again Miles.”
“Thank you,” I glanced around a little awkwardly, wanting Danielle to hurry up and join me, but while she was busy getting dressed or whatever she was up to, her dad insisted on talking to me about the season so far.
“You guys are doing well, aren’t you?” he asked, trying to sound a little blasé, as if he didn’t really know all the details, but I was already aware that he was fan so it was a little weird.
“Yeah, it’s going pretty well, thanks,” I smiled thinly. I never minded speaking to fans about the game, although it did make me feel a little shy, but thiswas uncomfortable. I felt like I was being interrogated for something that I wasn’t quite sure I’d done. “The guys are really pulling together this year. The team have been bonding and playing well together which I think makes a difference.”
“I’ve caught all the games that have been televised and it seems like you have been carrying them through a lot of the games.” I had no idea how to respond to that, especially as I didn’t think that it was the truth. I thought we were all doing a damn fine job of playing well, and even though I was the captain I would never take credit for that.
Luckily at that moment,Danielle burst into the room with a shining excitement in her eyes, looking as pleased to see me as I felt, but as she saw me in the middle of a conversation with her father, she held herself back.
“Hi, Miles,” she said coyly. “It’s really nice to see you again. How was your week?”
“Good,” I wished desperately that I could wrap her up in my arms, but all I could do was stand across the room from her and look at her awkwardly. “What have you been up to?”
“Oh this and that,” she shrugged, clearly not wanting to answer that qu
estion in any detail with her dad there. “Shall we get going?” She indicated towards her back door, towards the lake, but I had other plans in mind.
“I thought we would go to Buddy’s ice rink today,” I told her. “The ice can be a little smother than out on the lake.”
“But…the ice rink?” she gasped in shock. “There’ll be loads of people there. I’m not ready for that yet.” She groaned and shook her head in dismay. “I can barely even stand up.”
“I won’t let you fall,” I laughed bemusedly at her. “It’ll be fun.”
“Will it?” She asked sarcastically. “When I’m being overtaken and embarrassed by five year olds.”
“You won’t be that bad,” I laughed. “Trust me, it’ll be fine. I’ll be there with you; I’ll make sure that you don’t embarrass yourself.Honestly you’ll love it.”
“Urgh,” she sensed that she was fighting a losing battle, so she relented begrudgingly. “Okay, fine, let’s get going.”
We said a quick goodbye to her father and got out of the door, where we felt like we could finally be ourselves once more. As soon as we were out of sight, I pulled her in for a hug and placed a light kiss on her lips. It wasn’t that we were trying to hide our relationship from her parents for any particular reason, it was just a lot easier to not involve too many people when it couldn’t last forever.
As we walked over to Buddy’s, I asked her a little more about her dreams for the future. “So what is your life like in Cali?” I started. “I’ve been trying to imagine you in the sun, but the only time I’ve spent with you is in the snow, so that the only way I can picture you.”