by Naomi Niles
“Why not?” Cynthia asked, shrugging her shoulders as if she didn’t get it at all.
“Because my course is in San Diego, and I have to go back there in three weeks. I find relationships hard enough to maintain, never mind when they are long distance.”
“So move here,” she laughed, as if it was completely obvious. “Transfer to the college here and be with him. If he honestly makes you happy, then you should give it a go. Life is far too short to be unhappy.”
“It isn’t that simple,” I told her as my mind whirred. “It can’t be. I have my life, and I’ve got a year and a half left of my course. I can’t just uproot that for a guy that I don’t know. That I only slept with once.”
“Why not?” she insisted strongly. “How romantic would that be?”
I rolled my eyes, thinking over mom’s words all over again. “I’m not good enough for him,” I shot back, needing to make her understand how impossible this way. “He’s a pro hockey player, and he’s gorgeous too, whereas I’m just me.”
“First off, you are beautiful too.Secondly, what does it matter what he does for a job? And thirdly, he obviously likes you, so stop making excuses.”
“Ugh, stop giving me logical-sounding arguments,” I laughed. “Just leave me to my misery.” I stood back up before she could reel me back in once more, and tried to skate again. Only this time my heart wasn’t in it, and my head was all over the place, so I kept falling on my butt, forcing me inside.
*****
Luckily, because of my deal with Cynthia with regards to Marek and Miles, I didn’t have to help cook Christmas dinner at all. Unfortunately, that meant I had to sit with my father in the living room, listening to him rant on about how much better for me being a doctor would be.
“Dad,” I rolled my eyes a little exasperatedly. “I’ve made my decision now; I want to be a teacher. Why can’t you accept that?”
“You’ll have much more success as a doctor. There are so many more opportunities.” I tuned him out, not wanting to hear the same things over and over again. I knew his opinion, and he knew mine.Why couldn’t we ever just leave it at that? We didn’t have to agree on everything for us to be a happy family.
“Dad, haven’t you heard the good news?” Cynthia bounced into the room, instantly shaking off the bad atmosphere. “Danielle is going to marry a pro hockey player.”
“Miles?” he gasped in shock. “Are you serious?”
“No, dad,” I laughed. “Cynthia is just being hilarious again. We went out on one date, that’s it.”
“And he’s invited you out for New Year’s Eve; that means a lot.”
“It does,” dad confirmed, suddenly treating me with much more respect. “That’s how I knew that I wanted to marry your mom, when I wanted to see in the New Year with her.”
That statement built up a ball of emotion in my throat. I’d heard the story of mom and dad getting together before, but for the very first time, I had something to relate to that. Miles did want to hang out with me during one of the biggest nights of the year, and that was after I ran out on him, so that had to mean something…right?
It was dangerous, really, because it sent my mind spinning down a very scary path. One that held a potential future, and a potential heartbreak within it. I didn’t want to be thinking too seriously about something that could very easily turn out to be nothing, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
I pictured us kissing as midnight hit, then us somehow managing to make a relationship work despite everything working against us, then a wedding…
“So do you like him?” my dad asked, bringing me back to the present moment with a thump. “He’s a damn fine hockey player! That goal he scored at that match we went to was amazing, wasn’t it, Cyn?”
But before she got to answer, mom called us to sit at the dinner table for our main Christmas meal, filling me with relief. I couldn’t stand all of the odd focus on me; it made me feel really uncomfortable. It was weird; I’d spent my whole life wanting my family to notice me in a positive way, and now that it had happened I realized that I didn’t actually like it at all.
Thankfully as we sat to eat, we started talking about other things instead, which allowed me the time that I needed to think.
Did Miles really like me?
What would I do if he did?
It didn’t really matter where his heart lay to be honest, because this was never going to become anything serious. It could only be a fling for a few short weeks, so it would probably work out better for me if he didn’t care. If he was indifferent, it would be easier for me to walk away at the end with most of my heart intact.
But at the same time, despite all of that logic, I really wanted him to be interested in me too.
Chapter 15
Miles – One Week Later – Wednesday – New Year’s Eve
“I can’t fucking believe it,” Benji muttered, saying what we were all thinking inside. “Who the fuck plans a game for January first? We’re all going to be hungover as fuck. It’s bad enough that we have practice today.”
Practice sucked because no one had their heart in it. I had been distracted from the start, thinking over all the details of my party, hoping that we had got everything right. Sean had been on it, getting everything in place, but now that everyone had agreed to come, the pressure was on, and I wanted it to be perfect.
It was a fucking downer that we would all have to be careful and not drink too much if we wanted to win our game on New Year’s Day, but honestly, I was trying not to think too hard about that part. I was trying to deal with one stress at a time.
“I’m fucking furious,” Gaz shot back. “I might just not show up.”
He didn’t mean it, he was just acting big, but it did start a domino effect with everyone else, and the grumbling seemed to increase tenfold. I let out a deep sigh and got my head back in the game. I was the captain, and the team needed a boost if we were going to get out alive. It was up to me to bring everyone back together – and I hoped I could do it temporarily at least.
“Come on guys,” I finally announced in my motivational tone of voice. “Just remember the party at my house tonight. It’s gonna be fucking amazing.” No one bothered to reply, they just gave me a look, so I stepped it up a notch. “Come on, let’s not worry about tomorrow, let’s not even think about tomorrow, let’s just get through today and then go and get wasted – there’s going to be booze, food, fireworks…girls.” The mood started to pick up a bit at that. “So let’s just keep Coach happy and then get the hell out of here.”
Okay, so it didn’t turn everything around, but it did kick everyone’s asses into gear, and they started to pick up a bit and play a little better. It wasn’t the best practice that we’d ever had, but it was good enough to keep Coach happy, which left everyone else over the moon too.
By the time we got to the changing room, and people started to realize that we were about to go and have some fun, a real fun-loving party atmosphere overtook.
“Marek,” I grabbed his arm and smiled at him. “You are coming tonight, right?”
“Yeah, I am,” he grinned back, patting me on the shoulder. “Looking forward to all the birds you have coming.”
He sent me a wink, which made me feel a little uncomfortable. Marek was my friend because he was on the team with me, but he was a massive player, and he spent most of his free time screwing whatever girl would come his way next… and there were always girls throwing themselves at him. I liked him, but only because of circumstances. I don’t think I would have ever chosen to hang out with him if we didn’t work together. He just wasn’t my sort of person.
“Yeah, I actually have a girl coming who wants to meet you,” I told him uneasily, thinking of Cynthia. Maybe I should set this up, but warn Danielle in advance too to stop Cynthia from getting hurt. Maybe she could speak to her sister and put her off, whilst still fulfilling her end of the bargain.
“Yeah? She fit?” he asked, and I nodded quickly, feeling a litt
le like a pimp. “Sounds awesome. I’ll see you tonight buddy.”
Urgh, what a dick. I hoped that Cynthia would be put off quickly before he got his claws into her. I liked Danielle’s sister; she seemed really cool, and I didn’t want her to end up in the long list of broken hearted girls.
Wanting to get that conversation out of my mind, I grabbed my phone and put in a call to Sean. He wasn’t impressed about me abandoning him that morning, but unfortunately I had to practice. I just hoped that he had managed to get all the loose ends tied up and that all was together while I was gone. It might have been a little selfish, but I would have done it for him.
“Hey,” he sounded surprisingly happy, which filled me with relief. At least he wasn’t furious – things had to be going well. “Are you on your way back?”
“I am,” I confirmed. “I’m on my way now.Is all okay?”
“Ally has been helping me,” he told me bashfully. “She’s been great actually. She’s done a lot of the decoration.”
“Is she there now?” I asked excitedly. “I can’t wait to meet her; tell her thank you for being so awesome.”
“Tell her yourself,” he laughed. “She’ll be here when you arrive!”
“I’ll see you soon!”
All the way home, my mind whirred. I was half thinking about meeting the woman who had managed to tame my playboy buddy, and I was half wondering what it was going to be like when Danielle arrived tonight. I tried to imagine how we would act around one another when we laid eyes on each other again. I hoped that she was still coming – I’d had to really force myself not to contact her a few more times during the week to confirm, just because I didn’t want to come across as needy. I was so desperate not to put her off, that I hadn't done anything, which in a heart stopping moment I thought she might take as rejection.
‘Hey,´ I typed quickly, as my heart pounded anxiously in my chest. ‘Looking forward to seeing you tonight. Marek is excited to meet Cynthia too.’
I felt a bit bad about using the guy that I knew would be all wrong for her sister to convince her to come, but I desperately wanted Danielle to turn up. I didn’t want all my effort to be for nothing, and to end up spending midnight alone anyway.
I would just warn her when she arrived.
‘Hi, looking forward to it. See you soon!’
“Oh thank God,” I muttered to myself as my body calmed down. At least she was coming – I wasn’t sure what I would have done if she completely blew me off.
I pushed the door to my apartment open to see that it had been completely transformed into a Hawaiian Island. I knew it was quite a typical theme, to go for something beachy, but I thought it would be nice considering it was always so cold in Minnesota. I figured that it would be pretty cool to see sunshine indoors and snow outdoors. It had been my plan, but my friend had brought it to life. He really was amazing.
“Bloody hell, Sean, this is something else!” I yelled happily. “I cannot believe you managed to get this done today.”
A figure wandered into the room, but it wasn’t that of my friend. It was a tall, leggy blonde with big boobs and doe eyes. She was wearing a skin-tight, bodycon dress, and had the same amount of make up on as a supermodel would wear.
Fucking hell – this had to be Ally, and she was gorgeous! I could see how she’d managed to tame my friend now.
“Hi,” I gasped, a little blown away. “You must be Ally.”
“I am,” she grinned back. “I hope you don’t mind me being here – Sean just popped out to get some more beers.”
As I looked at the table, already filled with endless bottles, I burst into laughter. “More?” I exclaimed. “Does he honestly think that we need more?”
“That’s what I said,” Ally giggled, agreeing with me. “He seems to assume that the entire world is coming!”
“Anyway,” I turned back to face her. “Thank you for all your help; the place looks phenomenal. I really am shocked. Maybe it’s a good thing that I had practice, you and Sean did so much better than I ever could.”
“You’re welcome,” she replied, handing me one of the endless bottles of beer. “So Sean tells me this is all for a girl? That’s so romantic.You have to tell me everything.”
As I sat down across from Ally, I felt a warmth from her, and despite the fact that I didn’t know her at all yet, she made me feel so comfortable that I actually wanted to open up to her. I needed a girl’s opinion anyway.
“Yeah, I mean, well I met this girl, Danielle, just before Christmas,” I could feel my face heating up just from talking about her, which had to mean that I was feeling something deep within. “And I really like her, more than I’ve liked anyone in a very long time.”
Despite the fact that she was actually quite a big part of this story, I left Hailey out of it. I felt like I didn’t need to speak of her anymore; she wasn’t important to me. For the first time in what felt like forever, she was firmly in my past, and that was where she would stay – and it felt good. I was finally moving past her completely; soon I would barely remember her at all.
“So has anything happened?” Ally squealed excitedly, her eyes widening with joy.
“We have hooked up,” I admitted bashfully, hoping that I wasn’t overstepping a mark by telling her this.
“How was it?” she leaned in closer, as if we were girlfriends gossiping, and I honestly felt like we were friends. I felt like she was someone I’d known for a very long time, not a few moments. I was grateful that my friend had her, to be honest – it was easy to see what he was so attracted to – and I hoped that our friendship would be something that we could build upon too. It would be nice if we could all be close.
“It was amazing,” I told her seriously. “That’s why I did this: a date that would be less pressured, to see if we could ever become anything. A fun party with loads of other people here too.”
“And why couldn’t you? Become something I mean?” she asked, as if it should really be a lot easier than this.
“Because she is at college in San Diego, and I don’t think either of us are particularly keen to do the long distance thing.”
I’d thought about it a lot, and much as the distance wouldn’t be a problem for me in terms of being faithful, I knew that it would be a hard strain never seeing one another. Sure, we could talk on the phone and video chat, but that wouldn’t be the same. That was the sort of thing that tore about couples that had been together for years, never mind mere weeks.
“Well, just see how tonight goes,” Ally told me diplomatically. “There isn’t any point in writing something off before it’s had chance to grow. Just get drunk and have fun; tonight is going to be an awesome party.”
“Thank you,” I said earnestly. “You’re right.”
At that moment, Sean walked back in with more crates of beer, carrying a stack that went higher than his head.
“Is Miles back yet?” he called to Ally. “I picked up some fireworks too.Do you think he’ll mind?”
“I don’t mind,” I laughed loudly. “This party is going to be amazing.I’m really grateful to you for organizing it!”
“Oh I see you met, Ally,” he grinned. “She’s amazing, right?”
“Nah dude, she’s awful,” I joked. “Now I’m gonna hop in the shower if you don’t mind. Get ready for all the fun!”
Chapter 16
Danielle – Wednesday
“Shh,” I hushed at my sister, as she was growing increasingly loud in her excitement to attend Miles’s New Year’s Eve party. We’d had a couple of pre drinks to steady our nerves too, which I was now realizing was a huge mistake. “Will you just chill out? We’re here now, so will you be cool?”
“I can’t,” she giggled as a reply. “I’m just so excited to finally meet Marek!”
I rolled my eyes at her and pressed the doorbell to alert Miles to our arrival. When he first messaged me and suggested the party, my instant reaction was to refuse, just to prevent myself from getting sucked into these feelin
gs deeper, but in all honesty, it hadn't taken Cynthia long to completely change my mind. Deep down, I had wanted to go, to see him again, so after a few moments, I had relented a little too easily.
After that, I’d spent the subsequent few days getting myself all tied up in knots about seeing him again. I’d been fantasizing about him, imagining what it would be like to be with him again, and it built up an excitement within me that matched my sister’s well – I was just doing a much better job of hiding it.
You should really only be friends with him, I kept reminding myself, trying to build a solid barrier up around my heart. Just remember that and you won’t get hurt. Take one more step towards getting involved with him, and you risk breaking your own, fragile heart again.
As I sucked in a few deep and calming breaths of air, I glanced over to Cynthia, still unable to believe how much she had thrown herself into the summer theme, donning a bikini despite the freezing cold weather. I had chosen a much more conservative outfit of a mid-length skirt and a tank top, and the cold was killing me, so I had no idea how Cynthia was surviving. I’d warned her about frostbite more than once, but she hadn't wanted to listen to me – she never did. She was so stubborn and since she was the older sister, she simply assumed that she knew best.
As the door swung open, I found myself looking back at a face I knew. The guy who had been with Miles when I completely humiliated myself, the one who I now knew was his best friend.
“Sean?” I asked, grinning at him, not feeling any of the embarrassment that I probably should.
“Danielle?” he replied, showing me that he was expecting me to come, and I nodded happily, feeling oddly pleased about that. “Come on in.”