by Naomi Niles
“Where’s Tyler?” I asked abruptly.
“He’s busy, preparing for the funeral.”
“All right,” I said. “Thanks, Aunt Brenda.”
I hung up before she could reply and then I dialed Tyler’s number. He didn’t answer the first time, so I hung up and called him again. Finally, on the third try, he picked up. I could tell from his voice that he was annoyed.
“Tyler?” I said.
“I assume Aunt Brenda told you.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” I demanded. “Our father dies and you can’t pick up the Goddamn phone to inform your brother?”
“Fuck you, Dylan,” Tyler shot back. “I’m handling everything down here, all right? Aunt Brenda’s not exactly competent and mom’s a complete mess. She won’t even come out of her room, which means I have to do everything. And to be honest, I really don’t have time for you and your complaints—”
“All right, all right,” I said quickly, wanting to diffuse the situation. “I get it, you’ve got a lot on your plate. Give me a break, ok? I just found out that dad …” I stopped short, realizing what I was saying as I was saying it. I could feel the emotion rise, but I forced it down.
“I … I’m sorry I didn’t call you myself,” Tyler replied, his tone softening considerably. “I probably should have, it’s just … I didn’t want to.”
“It’s ok,” I said soberly. “Doesn’t matter, I know now.”
It was the strangest feeling in the world and it didn’t feel real to me. I felt as though I had just lost my bearings, yet I was still expected to continue as though everything was normal. Dad, my dad, was dead, and that didn’t make sense, not in the slightest. He was the strongest man I knew: tall, wiry, and tough as nails. He was the reason that I had joined the Navy in the first place.
I remembered when Tyler and I were still boys; we would sneak into mom and dad’s room and take out the uniform that dad had hung up in their wardrobe. It was crisp and clean, always well pressed and always impressive. We would fight over who would get to wear it when we got older. Tyler always won because he claimed that since he was older, he would get taller faster than I would and he would be able to fit into the uniform sooner.
He had been wrong about that in the end. I was the one who had ended up taller and I was the one who had ended up in the Navy like dad. I never did get to try on his uniform though; I got my mine and somehow that meant more to me. It was nice to have accomplished something on your own; it was nice to have something that was completely yours.
“How did it happen?” I asked reluctantly. I wanted to know everything and yet I didn’t. It was as though hearing the details would make it real somehow and I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be real just yet.
“It was a stroke,” Tyler replied, his voice dulled to a whisper and I knew it was painful for him to talk about it.
“A stroke?” I repeated. “Is that what the doctor said?”
“Apparently his heart was only working fifty percent,” Tyler went on.
“Fifty percent?” I exclaimed. “How on earth did that slip through the cracks?”
“You know dad,” Tyler said tiredly. “After he retired from the Navy, he basically retired from his checkups too. If he ever got sick, he self-medicated and then he’d get better. No one ever knew that his heart had gotten so weak.”
“Didn’t he get tired easily?” I asked trying to keep the note of accusation from my tone. “Wasn’t it hard for him to do chores around the house?
“Of course,” Tyler replied. “But I just assumed it was because he was ageing. “And he did too.”
“You should have checked,” I said before I could stop myself.
There was a beat of silence on the other end. “Or maybe, Dylan, you should move back home and take care of everything and I’ll just gripe and complain and judge everything you do and say: how does that sound?”
“It was a pretty big thing to miss, Tyler,” I retorted, unable to back down from this. “His heart was working only fifty percent.
“Dad was sixty-three-years-old,” Tyler shot back. “And he’d served for twenty-five years; he was entitled to be tired. His whole life was tiring. I never thought there was another reason why he was so … exhausted all the time.”
I gritted my teeth to keep from saying something I would regret later. Tyler and I hadn’t always had a difficult relationship. As boys, we had gotten along pretty great. Then adolescence kicked in and the five-year age gap between us became more obvious. We drifted in those years, and when I enlisted and moved away, there was no opportunity to bridge the distance that had been created.
“Are you coming for the funeral?” Tyler asked abruptly.
“I’ll have to speak to my captain and ask for leave,” I replied.
“Is that a yes or a no?” Tyler asked and again, I had to bite back the annoyance.
“My next deployment is in three months,” I replied. “It shouldn’t be a problem to get leave.”
“You’re being deployed again?” Tyler asked after a moment.
“Yes.”
“Where to?”
“I think it’s going to be Japan this time.”
“Is this the first time you’ve been there?” Tyler asked, his tone changed slightly and I couldn’t quite place it.
“I’ve been before,” I replied. “This will be the second time.”
“I guess I’ll see you soon then,” Tyler said stiffly. “If you get leave.”
“I’ll get leave,” I said with confidence.
Tyler hung up without a goodbye but I clutched on to the phone as though he were still there. The silence was suddenly unbearable. It left room for every terrible thought to sneak into my consciousness and start causing havoc. I wished more than anything that I had been there. I wasn’t delusional enough to believe that my being there would have made a difference, but I simply wanted a little more time with my dad.
It was strange to think that a part of the reason I had joined the Navy was to be closer to Dad. In the end it was the thing that had kept me away from my family all these years. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and headed for the offices where the captain would be. It was time for me to go home.
Chapter Six
Elizabeth
“Hi, Maddie,” I waved as I spotted her at our usual booth nestled by the window.
Saturday morning breakfasts had become a tradition for us. We always occupied the same booth, and more often than not, we ordered the same breakfast too. I slipped into the seat opposite Maddie and she gave me a bright smile.
“I’m so glad the weekend’s here,” Maddie said with a sigh.
“Me too,” I agreed. “Have you ordered yet?”
“Yup,” Maddie nodded. “The usual, and I asked for some fresh orange juice for the table.”
“Sounds great,” I said and leaned back in my seat.
“What’s wrong?” Maddie asked immediately.
That was the thing about being best friends since kindergarten; you just knew things about one another. It was like a sixth sense. “Paul came into the bar again last night,” I said tiredly.
“You’re kidding me?” Maddie said with outrage. “He really needs to get a life.”
I rested my face against my hand and shook my head. “It was worse than usual.”
Maddie raised her eyebrows. “Worse how?”
“He got into a fight with one of the other customers.”
“No way,” Maddie said leaning in. “What started the fight?”
I scrunched my face up with distaste. “There was this guy at the bar that I started talking to. I guess Paul saw us talking and got jealous. He came over in a huff and basically told Josh to stay away from me.”
Maddie’s eyebrows rose even higher. “Now men are getting in fights over you; that’s impressive.”
“Don’t make jokes,” I said. “It was so damn embarrassing.”
“What happened?”
“A bunch of the guys b
roke it up and then Josh stormed out,” I said without much detail. “Then I stormed out because I couldn’t stand looking at Paul anymore.”
“Was he cute?”
“Paul?” I asked incredulously.
Maddie rolled her eyes at me. “The other guy … Josh?”
“Oh right. He was … cute.”
Maddie smiled. “Was he asking you out?”
I hesitated. “He might have been …”
“ Fucking Paul,” Maddie exclaimed. “He ruined it, didn’t he?”
“Completely,” I nodded. “It’s so unfair. I divorced him because I wanted to be free of him, but I see him more now than when we were married.”
“Did you see Josh again after that?”
“Of course not,” I said. “And I doubt I will. He’s going to get the hell out of this town as fast as he can and honestly, I don’t blame him.”
Before I could continue, Cameron showed up with our breakfasts. He was a massive man with an affinity for bright shirts and brighter smiles. “Here we go ladies,” he said as he set down the plates in front of us. “Pancakes and sausages for you, Maddie, and waffles and eggs for you, Elizabeth.”
He brought us our juice, gave us his customary parting wink, and whirled off in the direction of his other diners, leaving us to return to our conversation.
“Don’t worry,” Maddie said. “There’ll be other guys.
“Other guys?” I repeated incredulously. “This is Bastrop we’re talking about Maddie. There are no eligible guys around town and everyone half decent is already taken.”
Maddie sighed. “I can’t argue there. But you never know; sometimes life can surprise you. Maybe the next guy who walks through that door will be Ryan Gosling searching for true love.”
I laughed. “Ryan Gosling is taken.”
“What?” Maddie gasped. “No he’s not.”
“Trust me,” I replied. “He’s not looking.”
Maddie sighed in disappointment. “Well that sucks.”
We tucked into our breakfast, enjoying the comfortable ease of our conversation. My waffles were gorgeous and crispy, but my eggs needed a little more salt. The customary salt and peppershakers that usually adorned each table were absent, so I rose to get some.
“I’m going to get some salt,” I told Maddie. “You want anything?”
She didn’t, so I walked up to the counter just as the door to the diner opened and Tyler Thomas walked in. I smiled at him, but he seemed so preoccupied with something that he totally missed the gesture. As he came closer, I realized he seemed a little paler than usual and there were dark circles under his eyes. He came up to the counter beside me and signaled to Helen.
“Hi, Helen,” he said croakily. “Can I get four, ham-stuffed bagels to go?”
“Sure, honey,” she replied.
“Hi, Tyler,” I said grabbing his attention.
He turned to me and nodded. “Oh … hi, Elizabeth. Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
“Are you ok?” I asked with concern. “You seem a little out of sorts.”
“Ah, you haven’t heard,” Tyler said.
“Heard what?” I asked in confusion.
“Dad passed away yesterday.”
“What?” I exclaimed, taken back by the revelation. “I … how …?”
“Stroke,” Tyler replied tiredly, as though he were sick of having to repeat the same thing over and over again. I couldn’t believe that Mr. Thomas was dead. There was something so … strong about him. He was the kind of man that you assumed would live to a ripe old age and outlive all his friends. Immediately, Dylan’s face popped into my head and I wondered how he had taken the news.
“Oh God, Tyler,” I said. “I am so, so sorry. That must have been a terrible shock.”
“It was,” Tyler nodded.
“When is the funeral?”
“In a few days,” Tyler replied. “I hope you can be here.” The words sounded rehearsed, as though he had already repeated it a few times already and I knew instinctively that I was probably the fifth or sixth person he had said that to today.
“Of course I’ll be there,” I said. “Is there anything at all I can do to help?”
“No,” Tyler said. “I’ve handled everything.”
“I’m sure you have,” I nodded. “But I want to do something. Maybe I’ll bring over some food later on today.”
“That’s not necessary,” Tyler replied. “We’ve already got so much food already.”
“You can never have too much,” I said. “And your mom’s not going to be in the mood to cook for a while.”
“Mom’s not really in the mood to eat either,” Tyler pointed out.
“I know this is probably a stupid question,” I said first. “But how is she holding up?”
“Badly,” Tyler said. “But it just happened and it was unexpected. I think she just needs time. Dylan’s coming back for the funeral; hopefully that will make a difference to her.”
I was glad that Tyler mentioned Dylan before I did. I nodded, trying to pretend as though that information meant the same to me as everything else. “How long will he be here for?” I asked casually.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Tyler replied, and I wondered if their relationship had improved since high school or if it was still a little strained.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do, Tyler?” I tried again.
“Well,” Tyler started. “I think it would be nice if you were to play the piano at dad’s funeral. I think mom would really appreciate that.”
I was taken back by the request and equally terrified by it. “I … I haven’t played in a long time, Tyler, I don’t know if it’ll be any good.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Tyler said. “I just want some music.”
He looked so sad, so defeated that I couldn’t bear to disappoint him. “Of course I’ll play at the funeral,” I said.
“Thanks, Elizabeth,” Tyler said before he collected his bag of bagels and left the diner with a cursory wave. I went back to my booth and sunk into the seat, still shell shocked by the news. Maddie looked at me with curiosity.
“Where’s the salt?” she asked.
“Oh,” I said. “I forgot.”
Maddie wrinkled her eyebrows at me. “What’s wrong?”
“I just ran into Tyler at the counter.”
“Tyler Thomas?” Maddie asked.
I nodded. “Mr. Thomas died yesterday.”
Maddie set down her fork and knife. “No.”
“It was a stroke.”
“Oh my God,” Maddie breathed. “That’s … horrible. How’s Tyler doing?”
“He doesn’t look so good,” I replied honestly. “I think its hit him pretty hard.”
“I can imagine,” Maddie said.
“The funeral’s in a few days but I might stop by tonight and drop off some food,” I said. “Wanna come with me?”
“I don’t know. I was never as close with the Thomas family as you were …”
“Please Maddie?” I begged. “I think … there’s a possibility that Dylan might be there.”
Maddie raised her eyebrows. “Dylan,” she said his name and I felt the old memories come rushing back. I hadn’t realized what a good job I’d done suppressing them until now.
“This is the first time you’ll be seeing him after … how long?”
“Eleven years,” I said. “Since graduation.”
“He’s been back a few times since he enlisted though right?” Maddie asked.
“Yes but we never met up,” I said. “By the time he received his first leave, we had already broken up so … I think we both just wanted to avoid each other. And I don’t think he’s been back for a couple of years.”
“Wow. Dylan Thomas is back in town,” Maggie said shaking her head. “Are you going to be ok seeing him?”
“You know what? I honestly don’t know,” I admitted. “It has been eleven years though.”
“True, but …”
&
nbsp; “But what?” I asked.
Maddie was quiet for a moment, her eyes were far away and I knew she was thinking about the past. “Do you remember that day we played hooky and went fishing?”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I remember,” I nodded. “Dylan was convinced that he was a born fisherman who had never had the opportunity to hone his talent.”
“And he swore that the only meat we’d be eating that day was the meat we caught,” Maddie continued.
I nodded. “We sat there for three hours while Dylan and Tony mucked about with fishing rods that they’d stolen from their dads. And in the end, they didn’t manage to catch a single fish.”
“No but you did,” Maddie reminded me.
“I got lucky,” I said.
“And Dylan was so proud,” Maddie went on. “He hiked you onto his shoulders and yelled that you were the queen of the lake and we they would have to rename it in your honor.”
I shook my head at the memory. “I thought we’d always be like that,” I said. “You, me, Tony and Dylan. I thought we’d be inseparable, but then Dylan left right after graduation, Tony went to college in England and—”
“It was just you and me,” Maddie said sadly.
“It was just you and me,” I nodded.
“Tony and I were different though, our relationship was different,” Maddie said. “I knew back then that we wouldn’t last past high school. But with you and Dylan … it was different. You guys were so in love,” Maddie said softly. “I mean, it was the kind of love you see in movies and read about in books. I thought it would last forever.”
I looked down at my full plate of food and realized that I had completely lost my appetite. “I did too,” I said. “But obviously we were both wrong. He chose adventure and I chose … this town.”
“At least you have your memories,” Maddie said comfortingly. “You can look back and remember all those wonderful moments.”
I nodded in response and thought back to all those wonderful memories that Dylan and I had shared. I could remember all those precious moments, but there was a bitter tinge to them now, an edge of sadness that tainted all those bright colors. We had both made our choices, but in the end, what I remembered most was that Dylan hadn’t chosen me.