by Naomi Niles
“Ooh, what have you done to piss her off?” he teased me, laughing about it, not even aware of how hurt I was.
But then again, the man didn’t know me well enough to know when I was upset, so I wasn’t sure why I’d expected more from him.
The more I thought about his joking words, the angrier I became. This wasn’t fair at all. I couldn’t think of anything I’d done wrong to Danica, to make her treat me like that. Unless she thought I knew about our parents and still hooked up with her. That was the only explanation that I could come up with, but I couldn’t honestly see it as the case.
How messed up did she think I was? Did she really think that little of me?
I had to get to the bottom of things. I really needed to sort it out before it damn well drove me insane. All I needed to do was get her alone, even for a second. Then I could break down this barrier and sort everything out once and for all.
Get her alone…surely that couldn’t be too difficult. Right?
But after the third room that I walked into, just to see her scurrying away, I decided to push her to the back of my mind. She was so obviously trying to avoid me, and while she was behaving in this way, I couldn’t see what I could do. I already felt like Dad and Lyla were watching me, trying to work out what my intentions were, and I didn’t want to make their suspicions worse.
I would come back to Danica when I had a more solid plan in place. But for now, I had something else that I needed to do. A point that I had to prove. I had my mission to think about, the one that I originally came here for. I needed to find evidence of my dad’s dickish behavior in some way or another, I needed to show everyone that I was right and they were all wrong.
I just had to find…something. I wasn’t sure what. I just hoped that I knew what it was as soon as I saw it.
The only problem was this fucking massive house! I didn’t even know where to begin looking for this unknown proof. But since everyone was out doing something wedding related, except for Danica, who was in bed ill yet again, then this was the absolute best opportunity that I was going to get. If I didn’t look now, I couldn’t guarantee I would get another chance.
I really didn’t want to go home empty handed.
So out of simple indecision, I decided to begin at the top of the house. The attic seemed like the perfect place to hide any secrets anyway, so it seemed like the most sensible thing to do. I pulled out the attic ladder and I made my way up the creaky stairs and into the dusty atmosphere, an excited anticipation overtaking me. I wanted to be vindicated, and I couldn’t wait for that to happen.
But as I stepped out into the absolutely gigantic attic, and I found myself faced with what felt like a million boxes, a cold sensation overtook me. I felt overwhelmed, and I instantly regretted my decision to try and tackle this today when I really wasn’t in the right frame of mind. This was a stupid idea–how the hell was I going to get through all of these boxes in such a short space of time? And what if it was a fruitless task that led me nowhere?
But I hadn't come all this way for nothing; I had to at least try. I would never be able to forgive myself if I went home with no evidence, without even bothering to look. Everything that I said to James would mean nothing, and my mom would think that she was right about Dad changing.
I couldn’t have that. I wouldn’t have him prove himself for Lyla–as much as I liked her–when he wouldn’t for my mom. That just was not fair, and I couldn’t stand it. My mom was the best woman I knew, and I hated my dad for treating her like crap yet again. She might not have been bothered, but I sure as hell was.
So, I began the long and arduous task of scanning my eyes over all of the boxes, and I started the search that felt like it could quite easily completely consume me.
After an hour, I was totally exhausted and I still had absolutely nothing. I’d been through all of the boxes that looked even remotely like they might contain anything useful, and I’d read endless boring bits of paperwork that made absolutely no sense to me whatsoever, and I was growing increasingly frustrated with my lack of anything. I was so convinced that anything incriminating he had would be here, so it was annoying to have to leave with nothing.
In the end, I forced myself to leave the attic, to head back downstairs before I drove myself insane with it all. I couldn’t look through another damn box without screaming. I felt dejected and sad as I made my way away from the one place I had been certain I would find anything. It was awful to admit that I’d failed, but I couldn’t see any other option. If I hadn't found anything already, I couldn’t see that I was going to.
I would just have to wait for my next opportunity alone, and go through every other room. I wasn’t ready to give up on my mission just yet.
But I would have to wait for the time being because almost as soon as my feet hit the floor, I heard the front door open, and Lyla and my dad were coming back inside. They were home already, much earlier than I’d been expecting. But as I glanced at my watch, I realized that wasn’t the case at all. I’d just been in the attic for far longer than I’d assumed.
My heart pounded as I tried to imagine what it would have been like if they’d found me up there. There was no good excuse for that. It would have caused hell, and I would have been sent back home with all those loose ends still left unresolved.
“Rhett!” I heard Dad yell up the stairs. “Danica!” He waited for us to reply, but neither of us did. “We have a dinner planned, so you’re going to have to come downstairs in an hour.”
I let of a sigh of relief. Okay, a dinner; I could do that. I wasn’t in any shit, at any rate. I raced back to my room to get myself ready before facing the family once more. I needed to put myself together if I was going to deal with my dickhead dad, his fiancée who I actually thought was pretty nice, and my new stepsister–the woman I’d thought I’d been falling for not that long ago.
What a disaster this was going to be. I just hoped that I could get through it without any real drama.
***
I awkwardly shoved my chair in at the oversized dining table, feeling like I was under intense scrutiny. This felt like a really serious meeting–like a damn job interview or something. It was horrible, and I was starting to regret not making an excuse to get out of it. I should have been the one feigning illness for once.
“This looks lovely,” I smiled uncomfortably, and indicating to the plate set in front of me. “Thank you, Lyla.” She’d made some sort of complex pasta dish that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a posh restaurant, but the frosty atmosphere was killing it.
I glanced over to Danica, who was purposely avoiding eye contact with me, bringing my annoyance back to the surface once more. Was she ever going to give me the time of day?
“So, Rhett,” Lyla dragged my attention back to her. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself? I don’t feel like I don’t know you very well yet, and I’d like to.”
She shot me a warm smile, which made me feel a little funny inside. Much as I felt like being a dick, just to treat everyone as shitty as they were making me feel, I couldn’t. She’s just trying too hard, and there was a real kindness inside of her that couldn’t be ignored.
“There isn’t much to tell, really,” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to act like I didn’t care. “I guess my main thing is sports–I love doing physical stuff like that. I’m going to Grange after the summer to study sports management, which I hope to turn into some kind of career. I want to do what I love.” I smiled at her, hoping that vague information would be enough.
“Oh, Danica is very sporty, too,” she jumped at the chance to connect us, to give us some kind of common ground to build a bond from. How little she knew! “She worked at Camp Woodtree this summer–a sports camp for kids. I used to take her there all the time when she was younger.”
My heart pounded in my chest as I was left with a decision. Did I admit that I’d been there too, or not? Would I fuck everything up forever if I did? Or would it be seriously weird if I didn�
��t?
“You worked at Camp Woodtree, too, didn’t you?” my dad jumped in like an idiot, shattering my fear. What the hell did he say that for? Could he not read the room? And how the hell did he know about that? I certainly hadn't said anything about it. “Your mom mentioned it when I spoke to her.”
I flicked my eyes over to Danica, who was finally looking right back at me for the first time since I first arrived. The terror was evident in her eyes, which made me decide to get rid of this elephant in the room once and for all. There was no point in trying to hold it in any longer, it was pointless. We would only look guiltier if we tried to ignore it now.
“Yeah, I did work at Camp Woodtree,” I said, tearing my eyes away from her. “I did actually meet Danica there…”
“Only briefly,” she interrupted sharply, looking only at her mom. “Camp Woodtree is a huge place, so it isn’t like we got to talk or anything.” What the hell was she playing at? Why was she still lying? It wasn’t as if I was about to tell them that we’d slept together or anything. Was she really that ashamed of even knowing me? “We just…saw each other in passing.”
I nodded sadly, feeling disheartened and confused by her behavior. Yet again, my focus was dragged away from my mission, and my sole attention was dragged right back to Danica. She was up to something, and I absolutely needed to know what.
I needed to speak to her. There was no beating around the bush any longer. I would get her alone, and I would get this sorted once and for all.
Chapter 17
Danica
“Oh my God,” I muttered to myself as I was finally alone in my room. It had been officially the worst dinner of my entire life, and I had no idea where any of us would go from there. It felt like a horribly defining moment, and I wished desperately that I could take it all back. I really should have continued pretending to be too ill to socialize with everyone. That was my first mistake.
“Only briefly,” I cringed as I remembered the awful words I spoke at the dinner table, when it came to mine and Rhett’s previous encounter. “Camp Woodtree is a huge place, so it isn’t like we got to talk or anything. We just saw each other in passing.”
Urgh, what a shitty thing to say! I had just panicked as Brad threatened to reveal our secret, so I said the first thing that came into my mind. I even saw the hurt passing across Rhett’s face, and I still continued to say it. It was as if I couldn’t stop the free fall of words once they’d started.
I felt like the biggest bitch on the entire planet. I thought that I’d screwed things up with Rhett before, but I definitely had now. There was no way he’d want to speak to me after I denied even knowing him. I was an idiot–well and truly.
I threw my head in my hands as a sense of hopelessness overcame me once more. I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to do now. This was a problem that I really didn’t know how to fix. I wasn’t even sure if there was a solution.
Knock, knock.
Oh great, and here came another unnecessary lecture from my mom. Just what I needed.
“Come in,” I sighed, steeling myself for a conversation that I really didn’t want.
“Hey,” a shy-sounding voice called out, as a face that I really wasn’t expecting popped around my door. My heart kicked up about ten notches as I realized that this was an entirely new conversation–one that I hadn't planned to have for days. It was Rhett, he was here in my room, and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t avoid him any longer.
It hurt to even look at him. It gave me a painful sensation in my heart.
“Can I… Can I come in?”
There was no way that I could turn him away after that. He looked so sweet and vulnerable that my heart melted just a little bit. There was no denying that there were still feelings there deep inside of me, and as much as I tried to brush them aside, they didn’t seem to be going anywhere.
In the end, I decided that the only course of action was to narrow my eyes at him and to grab the wedding place cards that I was already supposed to have already written. If I acted like I was busy, he might just turn away of his own accord–I wasn’t entirely sure that I was ready to face him yet, but I definitely didn’t feel able to say no to him, either.
Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to get the hint. Either that or he was pointedly ignoring me. Avoiding the hints that didn’t suit his agenda.
“Why aren’t you talking to me?” he asked, sounding like he was trying to keep his emotions inside. “I know this is all a little strange, but I don’t see any reason for us to be so weird around one another.”
That was putting it mildly! Things had been absolutely unbearable. I didn’t look up, for fear of my shining, tearful eyes giving me away. I concentrated on the name I was writing, boring my eyes into the paper. I didn’t even recognize the person I was writing, but I kept looking at it all the same.
Mitchell Jones.
Mitchell Jones.
Mitchell Jones.
But Rhett still felt like he had more to say, and he wasn’t taking the hint that now wasn’t the time. My heart sunk as he continued to talk.
“I don’t like the fact that every room I go in, you race out. I don’t like the fact that we seem to have to hide all of our past, rather than just the incriminating parts.”
He was pouring his heart out, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from flicking up at him. His face was contorted in agony, and I hated that it was my fault that he was hurting. That was the absolute last thing that I wanted. “It’s sad that we had such a…a special time, and now we have to act like we don’t even know one another.”
Confusion swirled around me as his words started to resonate. All reasoning flew from my brain–as did the fact that I was pregnant with his baby. His words had me intoxicated, and I suddenly found myself imagining a perfect world where we could be friends despite everything else. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be easy, but at the same time I wanted that more than anything else.
I started to picture us laughing, and hanging out, and just enjoying one another’s company. I even pictured him helping me to enjoy the wedding, to make the crazy event a lot of fun… But then my mind wandered into a terrible territory, and I felt his lips against mine once more. I remember the way he made me feel so special.
No, I shook my head sharply to get that image from my brain; you cannot see him like that anymore. You just can’t.
Sensing that I wasn’t fully listening to his words, Rhett changed his tactic. “Look, can we just call a ceasefire to all this weirdness? Can we just be friends? Or at the very least normal?”
An unexpected smile spread across my cheeks at the prospect of acting normal. It seemed like far too much had happened for that. “I didn’t realize that there was a fire,” I announced, with humour in my tone. “I thought it was just a little strange, that’s all.”
“I know what you mean.” Feeling a little more comfortable around me now that I wasn’t emanating a dark cloud of doom, Rhett came and sat next to me on the bed. I could instantly feel a heat coming from him, and I shifted uncomfortably. It was like that very first day when we’d sat next to each other in the orientation meeting, the day where all of this began. That warmth, that chemistry, it was still all there.
The only problem was now we knew how taboo it was–it was so, so wrong, and there was nothing either of us could do to change that. “I just… I guess I don’t really know how to describe what’s going on between us.”
“No,” I agreed, nodding. “Our situation is somewhat unique.”
With that, we both burst into hysterical laughter, the tension ebbing away. For a moment, everything else vanished and it was if we’d returned to that ease we had between us at Camp Woodtree. I couldn’t help but be saddened that it was gone now, and that it could never fully come back. Things could never be what they once were, and that was undeniably devastating.
How damn typical that the one guy I’d ever really fallen for in my life was completely out of bounds. What did that say ab
out me? What did that say about my shitty decisions? Urgh, why was my life always so damn complex?
“Look,” he continued, obviously taking the bull by the horns while he had the opportunity to talk to me. “If you want a bit of time out from all of this crazy wedding bullshit, then why don’t we take a day out tomorrow? We could go somewhere to really talk, to sort all of this out once and for all.” His eyes widened in hope, which sent me on a mental emotional rollercoaster.
I couldn’t stop my heart from racing as he spoke, knowing that we were heading into dangerous territory, but at the same time his offer sounded far too tempting for words. Time away from prying eyes with Rhett–even if we couldn’t act like we once had, I still wanted to be near him. We still got on really well, and I enjoyed being in his company. The last few days had been serious crap, I really felt like I needed a friend–even if I couldn’t discuss my problems, just to distract me from them.
“What did you have in mind?” I croaked, my fear obvious in my tone. I was petrified about where this conversation was going, so much so that I couldn’t even begin to disguise it.
“I was thinking that maybe we could go kayaking on the Delaware River.” He shot me a smile, knowing that he had me. He knew for a fact that I would not be able to resist getting out of here to do something fun, something physical.
For a moment, I tried to think of a solid reason to say no, but nothing came to mind. “Okay,” I nodded, wondering what the hell I was doing. Was it really a good idea? But then again, getting away from all of this wedding stress and having some fresh air would do me some good. It would be much less stressful, anyway.
“Right, okay, great,” Rhett could barely hide his surprise, which I understood. I’d spent the last few days keeping away from him, and yet here I was agreeing to be with him alone. “That sounds nice. Shall we go early before everyone else wakes up?” I nodded quickly, seeing the logic in this. The less that people knew about us, the better. “About six a.m.?”