by Naomi Niles
I opened my mouth to speak, but my words fell apart at my lips. As he stared me down, a realization hit me. For the first time in my entire life, I actually felt afraid of him. My body was trembling lightly, and my mouth had run dry. My dad had made me feel many, many emotions in my life, but terror was never one of them. Now, for some reason, it was all of me. I was absolutely petrified.
“You,” he growled, walking towards me as I backed into a corner. As the words burst from his chest, that fear became all consuming, even worse than it was before. I just had no idea what was about to happen, and that was scary as hell. “I told you before that you’re exactly like me.”
“What?” I gasped out in surprise. What the hell was he going on about? We’d already had this argument, and he hadn’t managed to convince me that he was right, so why was he still going on about it? What did he hope to achieve?
“You just couldn’t stay away from her, could you?” His fists were clenched, and I started to feel like he might actually hit me. “You will not ruin this marriage for me, whatever your fucking plans are. I won’t have it, you little prick.” He wasn’t yelling, but he might as well have been for the effect that his words were having on me.
“You’ve spent your whole life trying to make things difficult for me, and I won’t have it again. I will not have Danica and Lyla dragged into your stupid games. If you have a problem with me, then take it up with me. Don’t involve innocent bystanders.”
Guilt flooded through me as I realized he thought that I was a threat. Of course, destroying his marriage had been my original plan, but it wasn’t anymore. Danica had distracted me, and now it didn’t seem worth my time.
It was done now anyway; they were married, what the hell could I do? Why was he so worried about the impact I could have on his life? This was the most interest that he’d ever shown in me, and it was completely in the wrong way.
“What are you talking about?” I needed to stall him, to think of something descent to stay to dispel this before it got too out of control. Questions felt like the best way to do that.
“Don’t play dumb,” he snapped, his face right in mine now. “You know exactly what I mean. Don’t think I can’t see what you’re up to.”
I glanced around, sensing that there was no way out of this unless someone else walked in. I just had to hope that they would. Bathrooms were normally so busy, what the hell was going on? How had any of this been allowed to happen? Maybe it was because the evening was starting to wind down.
“I’ve seen the way you look at her,” he spat out, glaring at me up and down as if I disgusted him.
My heart fell. Her. He must have seen Danica and me, and that was what he meant about me being like him. He thought I couldn’t keep away from any woman no matter what–he didn’t realize that I actually really cared for her. He didn’t understand at all, and he never would. He’d never been in love like I was. I thought differently today, but clearly, I’d been wrong.
“It’s disgusting,” he continued, giving me the dirtiest look ever. “And, I will not let it fuck up what I have with Lyla. Just because you can’t keep your dirty, little hands to yourself.”
All my good feelings about him melted away. He hadn't changed at all; he’d just done a very good job of hiding it. I could not believe that I’d been duped; I never thought he would be able trick me out of everyone, and I was more than a little ashamed of myself.
“It’s not like that,” I tried to argue, hoping to throw him off track. “We were only dancing. It was a bit of fun. I saw her sitting alone, looking sad, and I wanted to cheer her up.”
“That’s it, is it?” he sneered, and I found it very difficult to continue arguing with him. What if he’d seen something? I wasn’t sure that I could just blatantly lie right to his face. That just wasn’t in my nature. “Don’t fucking lie to me. Do not try to pull the wool over my eyes; I know all the God damn tricks–or have you forgotten that?”
He was so clearly referring to all the fooling around that he did while he was with my mom, and I felt a red hot anger burning inside of me. I tried not to react, though, that was what he wanted. He was looking for an excuse to hit me, and I really didn’t want to give him one. I wasn’t afraid to admit to myself that I was scared of getting hurt–I had no idea what this man was truly capable of, and I didn’t think today was the right time to find out.
“I-” I started, but he jumped in before I could say too much.
“I think it’s best for everyone if you just leave,” he stared me down, intimidating me with only his eyes. “Leave and never come back. I never want to see your face again. And do not under any circumstances contact Danica again. I mean that–I’ll know if you do.”
I couldn’t help myself; the words just spilled uncontrollably out of my mouth. “Why did you invite me here if you hate me so much?” I just needed to know–it made no sense. All of this was too weird for words. So much for my mom’s theory that he wanted to make amends for all of his shitty behavior. He clearly had another agenda all along, and I needed to know what it was before all of this was over.
He laughed loudly and bitterly, shooting daggers into my chest. “I didn’t want you here. Lyla asked me to invite you, and I needed to make a good impression.”
Of course. Why had I expected anything different?
And why did I feel so deflated?
All of a sudden, I had nothing left to lose, so I said the first thing that cropped up into my mind. “What are you going to do if I don’t leave?” I snapped defensively. I didn’t care anymore, let him do his worst; he was a prick and he’d ruined yet another special memory for me. How the hell could he treat his own child in such a shitty way? It seemed unfathomable to me.
“If you go, then you won’t need to find out, will you?” Yep, there it was: that threat again. I stared up at him, trying to spot a shred of decency there, but all I got back was the possibility of violence. If I didn’t go, he would hurt me, and he probably wouldn’t stop there. Neither Danica nor I were safe if I remained while this man was still in our lives.
And he sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.
After a few more moments, he stalked from the room, leaving me alone, panting heavily with fear coursing through my veins. That was no threat, not really. It was a promise, and I couldn’t even begin to process that my dad had just practically admitted that he wanted me hurt.
What the hell was I going to do now? Was I really willing to risk losing Danica over this? But then again, was I actually willing to risk my neck and hers to go back into my dad’s home? He could kill me in there before I even knew what was happening. And I couldn’t be totally sure that he wouldn’t actually take it that far.
I was fucking terrified, and I really wanted to go home, back to my home where my mom was. But if I was going to do that, I’d have to skip out now and get my stuff before everyone got back, before anyone could realize what I was up to. I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to tell Danica. She would go mental and she’d try to persuade me to stay–dragging herself into something that she knew nothing about.
No, I was going to have to make a snap decision, and that was that.
This was no longer a battle between my heart and my head; this was a potential life and death situation.
I quickly peeked my head out of the bathroom, seeing no one that I instantly recognized out on the dance floor, making it easier for me to slip through the crowds unnoticed. I needed to go back to dad’s to make my decision once and for all. Then, if I did make the choice to leave without a trace, to save me and Danica from a whole load of trouble that neither of us needed, then I would be able to pack my stuff quickly.
I slid outside into the cold air, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me. I hated to act in such a cowardly way, but I didn’t see what other choice I had.
Chapter 29
Danica
Thankfully, the hotel staff held themselves responsible for the clean up after the wedding, so I could give
into my exhaustion and go home.
I didn’t want to get in a cab with Mom and Brad because I couldn’t really face them, and I wasn’t sure where Rhett was, so I snuck into a car all by myself. For all I knew, Rhett was at home anyway, in my room just waiting for me, and I was excited to be by his side once more. There had been a lot of unsaid promises between us as we danced, and I couldn’t wait to explore that further.
As the car whizzed towards our home, I gazed out of the window, smiling to myself. Even though things weren’t perfect, they were the best they’d ever been and I couldn’t see anything ever tearing us apart again. All the uncertainty was gone from my mind and for the first time, I felt really certain that we would be able to make things work.
I even thought that I could tell him about the baby and that we would get through it somehow. Not that I would right now; the moment had to be right. But when that time came, I was sure that all would be okay, and that he would stick by my side. Sure, everyone else would have an issue with it, but Rhett wouldn’t. I was certain of it.
As the car pulled up outside our home, I got a little bit excited at the thought he was inside. Since he was literally nowhere at the hotel, he had to be back home.
But as I walked through the front door, and I ambled through the downstairs rooms of the house, the only person I came across was Brad, sitting at the kitchen table drinking the largest mug of coffee that I’d ever seen.
Even though he was my stepfather now, I still felt uncomfortable around him, and that aura clung to me like a bad smell.
“He=hello,” I stammered, feeling my face heat up as the embarrassment started to consume me. “Are you all right?” I needed to change this, to make things easier if we were going to be a family forever, but that was going to take some time.
“Yes, fine thank you,” he replied easily enough, but because I was stone cold sober, whereas he had obviously been drinking, I could easily spot that he was being fake.
“Where is everyone else?” I moved to sit at the table with him, then thought better of it at the last minute. I didn’t want to commit to a sit down conversation with someone that I really didn’t have anything to say to. I needed to be able to make my escape if needed.
“Your mom is upstairs getting changed out of her dress,” he said. I nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue, to tell me where Rhett was, but he stayed oddly silent, and he continued supping his drink.
“Where’s Rhett?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Did he travel back with you?” I was already pretty sure that he hadn't, but I wasn’t sure how else I could form that question without making myself sound guilty.
“Oh, didn’t he tell you?” he asked innocently, but he was smirking a little to himself, which made me incredibly suspicious. “He came back before everyone else, and he packed his stuff to go home. He told me that he wanted to get back quickly, to get back to his real life. That now the wedding was done, he had nothing to stick around for.”
“What?” I gasped in utter shock. I knew that didn’t sound like something Rhett would say, but I couldn’t work out why Brad would lie. Sure, he had some issues with his son, but that still didn’t explain why he would make that up.
So did that make it real? Would Rhett actually say that? And where did that leave me? I couldn’t believe that all the self-doubt was back with a vengeance–I was back on the rollercoaster once more. “Really? He’s gone?” I no longer even cared that I was giving our little secret away by our over the top emotions–not even when Brad sent me a knowing smirk that should have sent terror coursing through my veins. “Why did he say that?”
But I didn’t even bother to wait for him to respond. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say, not when he was giving me that look; I just needed to find Rhett to find out what the hell was going on. Once I spoke to him, nothing else would matter; we could sort everything else out afterwards.
But as I got to Rhett’s room, it was clear that Brad was telling the truth. As much as I didn’t want to accept it, Rhett was gone. He really didn’t see me as worth sticking around for. Somehow, I’d managed to get everything so messed up in my mind, clearly seeing emotions that weren’t there.
As everything that had happened between us spun through my mind, I tried to work out exactly where I’d misread the signals, but I couldn’t. It was all so real, and I couldn’t accept that he was that much of a player that he would have me believing things that weren’t there. No one was that good.
I wandered around his room, not seeing anything that suggested he was ever even there. It was as if he never even existed in this room. It was spic and span, not a trace of anything Rhett related. He’d officially vanished.
Did I really mean nothing to him?
Tears pricked my eyes as I realized that everything I’d assumed was real was a lie. And that despite everything, I was going to be raising this child alone, after all.
With my heart pounding and my fingers trembling, I grabbed my phone from my bag and called him right away. If he was gone, then I needed to know why. I demanded an explanation, which I thought I rightfully deserved. There was no way that he could just go, and not say anything. I couldn’t imagine him as that bad a person.
But the phone just rang out.
What the hell? What was going on? This made absolutely no sense!
I peeked out of the window to see his car still sitting there on the driveway, but he was still not here. Of course, he wouldn’t have been driving after drinking at the wedding, but that didn’t stop it hurting to see that one small remnant of him still there. There was no denying it, however much I didn’t want to accept it: Rhett was gone.
For some reason, he’d left me behind, and I absolutely had to find out what that reason was. What was so important that he had to just vanish like that?
I raced back down the stairs with my mind racing all over the place. I was so desperate to find out was going on that nothing else mattered. All I needed were my answers, so when I bumped into Mom on the landing, who was now dressed comfortably in her pyjamas, I grabbed her by the arms and I begged her to tell me truth.
“Where’s Rhett?” I pleaded her, no longer caring what she suspected or thought. I was in full panic mode, and that was that. “Why has he gone?” Our conversation from earlier flicked back into my memory–the one where she commented that it was a shame we were now stepbrother and sister–but it was too late to back track now.
“Oh, Brad said he got a little overwhelmed by the wedding and he went home to see his mom.” She looked at me a little concerned, so I nodded quickly as if I understood and that made perfect sense, but really I didn’t believe a word. Brad was lying and I didn’t know why.
“Right, okay, thank you,” I gasped, before spinning on my heels and racing into my room. I needed to be alone, to deal with this by myself.
Then I grabbed my phone, and I started to call Rhett again. Something had happened, and I really needed to know what. There was no way we could go from the intense moment on the dance floor, to him running away. There was something I was missing, and I wouldn’t rest until I found out what.
But he still wasn’t answering, and I thought that I might just end up going insane.
‘Rhett, please talk to me. Please tell me what’s going on? x’ I texted before ringing again, but he was still ignoring me.
I felt devastated. What the hell was going on now? How had I ended up back in this area of the unknown? I thought we were solid now. I slumped my body back on the sheets trying to figure out what I didn’t know. I was pretty sure that Brad might know more than he was letting on because of that fakeness and the smirk, but I couldn’t exactly go down there and ask him. I didn’t even know the guy. And there was no way that he’d tell me anyway.
It was a whole God damn mess.
‘Rhett, please let me know what’s going on. I’ll help you; I’ll do whatever I can. Don’t shut me out–I thought we were over all the crazy game-playing now? Please x’
I wanted to tell
him that I loved him, because I was pretty sure that was exactly how I felt, but it didn’t feel like the right time or way to do so. It seemed more like the thing I should say to his face, not in a message when he wasn’t even talking to me.
Why did he have to leave before I could finally say what I needed to say?
I lay down, still fully dressed in my wedding gear, with the phone clutched tightly between my fingers just waiting for him to reply. He would eventually, for sure, if I meant anything to him. I would just have to wait.
But the wait might just kill me.
The tears that threatened to come earlier finally cascaded down my cheeks. It was obvious now that we could never be together, that the universe was never going to aligns to allow that to happen. It was too complex, too much and that was the end of it. I’d been naïve and idiotic to assume otherwise.
All my dreams and my fantasies came crashing down around me as a cold, stark reality hit. We could never be a couple with the blessing of our parents; we could never be us and be happy. That was a pipe dream that would never be anything more.
I was an idiot. I’d got sucked in by a romantic dream, and for that I was a fool. I only had myself to blame.
From now on, it was just my baby and me, and that was that. The sooner I accepted that, the better. And now without the distraction of the wedding keeping my mind occupied, I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else.
Plus, there was no longer anything holding me back from telling my mom the truth. I was going to have to finally confess that I was having a baby, although I wouldn’t be able to tell her who the father was–especially now.
But I wouldn’t do it yet, I would wait just a little while longer until the wedding faded from memory. That wasn’t an excuse this time, I just didn’t want to be a thunder stealer. And to be honest, I wanted a little bit of time to recover from this heartbreak first.