by Naomi Niles
“Oh, she’s really pretty. Is that her husband?” The hostess led them to a table kind of across and diagonal from us. Amber didn’t seem to notice me and she was sitting facing away from us. That was a good thing, except that I had to see the moony-eyed look that Dylan was giving her.
“Her boyfriend, I think. How’s your soup?” Callie gave me a funny look and I wondered what my face looked like. Sarah used to tell me when we were kids I shouldn’t ever try to lie because the truth always showed on my face. I wondered if the truth that even after all of these months I’d cut off my right arm to touch her again showed on my face.
“Kyle?”
“Mm hmm?” I took a sip of my soup. It was hot, and I didn’t even taste it going down.
“Why did you stop going to therapy? I mean, I heard the doctor ask you about it today and I was just wondering…”
“Just like I told him, I was doing so much better I didn’t think I needed it anymore. Like I said, she signed off on it anyways.”
“Oh…did you want to go say hello to her?”
I want to go do more than say hello. I smiled at Callie. “No, I want to stay right here and enjoy my evening with you.” Her face brightened. I took a deep breath and a drink of my wine. It was going to be a long night.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
AMBER
Dylan asked the waiter for a bottle of champagne and a glass of water. I hadn’t drunk in front of him since he got out of rehab, but he insisted he wanted me to have a glass of champagne. The waiter asked, “What are we celebrating tonight?”
Dylan smiled. “Our engagement,” he said. “It took me three weeks to get in here, though.” The waiter smiled. Three weeks was fast for this place from what I’d heard.
“And, our families,” I added. Dylan had done what he said he would for me. He’d driven out to the ranch and had spoken to my father. My mother told me later on that when she saw them go into the barn, she didn’t think they would both come out standing. She said they were in there for over an hour, but when they came out, they were shaking hands. All Dylan would tell me was that he assured my father he loved me and would never hurt me again. Daddy told me later that all he wanted was for me to be happy, so if Dylan was it, he’d accept that. I’ve been walking around on cloud nine thinking about getting married by the lake. We’d decided on March so far, but not an exact date.
The waiter went to get the champagne, and Dylan reached across the table and took my hand. “I have one more surprise,” he told me.
“What’s that?”
“I got a call from Tuck Henry, do you remember him?”
I made a face. “The old pervert? How could I forget?” Tuck Henry is a retired rodeo clown that worked with Dylan’s father for years. One night at an after party when I used to travel to some of the rodeos with Dylan, the old man cornered me and put his nasty hands in places they never should have gone. Dylan was, of course, too drunk to defend me. I’d kneed the old guy in the crotch and caused a big scene. Dylan and I had a big fight afterwards that culminated in him telling me I was dressed like a slut and me calling him a worthless pussy. It’s one of those memories I’d gladly forgotten until now.
He grinned at me. “He is an old pervert, but he also has a lot of friends in the PRCA. He offered me a job, baby.”
“Doing what?”
“Judging. I’d have to attend a few seminars first before the next season starts, but the pay is good and it’ll be a legitimate job.”
I wanted to be happy for him, I really did, but my mind was swirling with a thousand different scenarios. “You’ll have to travel?”
He waited for the waiter. He brought the champagne and popped it open. He poured us each a glass and then he sat a glass of water in front of us both as well. Dylan thanked him and he left. Then he picked up his flute and said, “To us.”
“You’re going to drink that?”
He rolled his eyes. “One glass, Amber. It won’t kill me. There’s hardly any alcohol in it, anyways.”
I didn’t want to argue with him. I picked up my glass and said, “To us.” We clicked them together and drank. As Dylan guzzled his, I felt a little trickle of worry crawl up my spine. “Now, back to the job. You would have to travel?”
“Well, yeah, of course. But you could come with me.”
“Dylan, I have a job. I have a clinic to run. I don’t want to live on the road-”
“Okay, don’t get upset on me, okay? We’re just talking.” He poured both of us another glass of champagne. Again, I let it go as I watched him drink his. “The season is nine months long. I wouldn’t have to be at every event, so I could be home more than I am on the road. I want to do something to make you proud of me, Amber. You were right when you said I needed a job. This is something I know.”
I nodded. I could see how excited he was about it and I didn’t want to take that away. “I know, and if you really want to do this, we can figure it out.”
He grinned. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” The waiter came back to take our orders. I was happy to see that Dylan hadn’t poured any more champagne as we sat and talked.
“Dad’s talking about building another house on his property,” he said.
“Really? For the ranch hands?”
“Nope, for us.”
Dylan and I had lived in that piece of shit house of his dad’s for five years now. He had only been over to our house once in that entire time. He’d sat there for an hour making digs about how bad the house looked, only he directed it all at me. It did look like shit because the paint was peeling, the carpet was old, and the roof leaked…but none of that had anything to do with me keeping house, although he acted like it did.
The bottom line was that his father was kind of an asshole. He was an old cowboy who was never around when Dylan was growing up and when he finally retired and came home, he wanted to be buddies with him instead of a father. He holds the night I had Dylan arrested against me and he thinks I “nagged” Dylan into going into rehab. He drinks like a fish and sees no harm in his son doing the same. As far as I knew, he was not happy about us getting married. I wondered why he suddenly wanted to build us a house. Dylan must have seen the skepticism on my face because he said, “He knows how much I want this to work. He only wants to help.” I forced another smile and took another drink of my champagne.
“It’s nice, really.” I was determined not to let myself slip back into the pattern of finding fault with everything Dylan said or did. He really was trying. “I’m going to use the ladies room before our food comes.”
“Okay, baby.” He stood up when I did and kissed me before I left. I tasted the champagne on his lips and felt that tickle of anxiety again. It had moved to my belly. I made my way to the front of the restaurant where the bathrooms were. There was a young woman washing her hands when I walked in. She had on this gorgeous black dress. I’d seen one like it not long ago and thought about buying it for myself. Now that I saw it on her, I wished that I had.
“Your dress is gorgeous,” I said. She looked up at me in the mirror with a smile. As soon as she saw me something else crossed her face. I wasn’t sure what it was but she said,
“Thanks…is your name Amber?”
Surprised because I didn’t recognize her at all, I said, “Yes, do I know you?”
“No, you were my boyfriend’s therapist. I saw your name in his phone…”
“Who is your boyfriend?”
“Kyle Cloud.” My heart fell into my stomach so hard that it practically knocked the wind out of me. I’d done so well confining my memories of Kyle to my dreams late at night.
“Oh…” I squeaked out. Breathe, Amber. “Yes, I was. How is Kyle?”
“Amber, woman to woman, was there more between you than therapy?”
My throat was parched. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because he won’t discuss therapy – at all. His doctor asked him just today after he told Kyle the tumor was gone-”
“It was growing, but he did radiation and he’s fine.” She sounded annoyed with my interruption and she went on. “The doctor asked him about therapy and Kyle kind of brushed him off. I asked him and he brushed me off. He does that anytime anyone brings it up. I saw some of the old texts you sent him in his phone, he never deleted them. I saw that you were texting you were sorry and worried about him…and I saw the way he looked at you when you walked in tonight. Is there something I should know?”
My brain grabbed on to “the way he looked at you” and held it and caressed it for a few seconds before the rational part took over and I said,
“Why don’t you ask Kyle?”
“We haven’t been dating that long. I don’t want him to think I’m all jealous and clingy…”
Yet she reads his text messages and confronts me in the bathroom, I thought. “Kyle and I went out a couple of times when I was split up with my boyfriend. I got back together with my boyfriend months ago and I haven’t seen Kyle since. That’s really all there was…is to it.”
“You broke up with him?” Did I? I’ve never really been sure. I almost believed if he would have asked me to stay with him and forget Dylan that last time we talked, I would have.
“It was mutual. If you’ll excuse me, my fiancé is waiting.” I stepped into the stall and locked it. Then, I pressed my back into the door and stood there trying to get my breathing back under control. I had no idea what it was about Kyle…simply the mention of his name turned my insides to jelly. I’ve poured all of myself into my relationship with Dylan and most days, I don’t even think of Kyle anymore. But he must still live somewhere in my subconscious because almost every time I close my eyes and drift off to sleep, he’s there. The dreams aren’t always good. Sometimes, I re-lived the times we were together and other times my brain took me back to the time I saw him in the hospital…only instead of arranging therapy, I’m saying good bye. Sometimes I woke up short of breath and had to remind myself it was only a bad dream. Then, I would snuggle into Dylan and push Kyle back into my subconscious where he belonged. Knowing he was here in the flesh, though, was an entirely different story. It took me another ten minutes to get it together enough to walk out of the ladies room. As soon as I did, I came face to face with the object of both my nightmares…and my dreams.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
KYLE
“Hi, Amber.” She looked at me like she was seeing a ghost as she walked out of the restroom. Her face was pale, and I felt kind of bad for startling her. I guess I might even come off like a stalker, but I just had to talk to her for a second. I’d seen her go into the restroom while Callie was gone and as soon as Callie came back I told her I had to use the restroom. There’s a little alcove here so she couldn’t see us, but I’m pretty sure she knew I came over to talk to Amber.
“Kyle… How…how are you?”
I smiled at her. God, she’s so pretty it makes my insides hurt. “I’m good. How are you?”
She smiled, but it looked forced. I had to wonder if that meant she was happy to see me or not. “Good, really good. I’ve missed you at the clinic lately, though.”
I shrugged. “I’ve been doing really well…”
She raised an eyebrow. “That’s not exactly the story your girlfriend told.”
“My girlfriend?”
“Yeah, the girl in the pretty black dress.”
“Callie? You talked to her?” I suddenly had an even bigger knot in my stomach. How did Callie even know who Amber was?
Amber smiled again and said, “That’s what women do in the bathroom.” Her face and tone turned serious then as she said, “She said the tumor came back. Are you okay?”
“The tissue they left was growing. I had some radiation, no big deal. They zapped it.” I tried to play it off like it was nothing. She looked worried about me, though, and I found a kind of sick satisfaction in that.
“Radiation is a huge big deal,” she said. “Are you finished with it?”
“Yep, two weeks ago. I got my clean bill of health today. The MRI shows that it’s dead now, so no chance of it growing any bigger. That’s what Callie and I are celebrating.”
“Oh, good! Congratulations.” She looked genuinely happy and relieved. Again, there was that sick satisfaction.
I’d mentioned celebrating and I’d seen the ring on her finger that was causing me to fight off the nausea, so I bit the bullet and said, “What are you and…Dylan, is it, celebrating?”
“Um, Dylan and I got engaged.” Is she not happy about the engagement…or just not happy telling me about it?
“Oh…congratulations.” That didn’t sound at all sincere.
“Thank you. I wish you all the best, Kyle…and if you need us at the clinic, I don’t want anything that happened between us to hold you back.”
“What happened between you?” Dylan was suddenly standing behind me and that question sounded threatening. She looked at him with shock, but when I turned around, his eyes weren’t on her, they were on me – and they had murder in them.
“Nothing, Dylan, please don’t do this. Let’s go back to our table…” I could hear the tremor in her voice. She was afraid of this guy and that pisses me off.
“Like you should have done after you went to the bathroom? I’ve been sitting there for twenty minutes now waiting for you to come back. Who is this, Amber? Is this the guy?” “The” guy? Did she tell him about me?
“I’m just a patient…” I tried for her sake. Dylan wasn’t buying it, though.
“Shut the fuck up! I asked Amber.” I felt my blood begin to boil and I clenched my fists at my sides to keep from socking him in the mouth.
“Dylan!”
“Is this the guy you fucked while I was trying to get sober?” Oh my God, she did tell him.
“Hey, this isn’t the time or the place…” I tried again. What I wanted to do was kick his ass. But that wouldn’t solve anything…would it? Dylan apparently thought it would. He shoved me with both hands and I flew back into the wall. Now, I really wished that I had thrown the first punch. Amber screamed and tried to get to me as he grabbed her by her arm. He was twisting it. I got to my feet and just as I threw a punch, he pushed her into me. My fist connected with the side of his face…but barely. Suddenly, Amber and I were both on the floor and there were people standing around looking at us. I wanted to kick my own ass now.
“What’s going on?” Jean Paul pushed his way to the front. “Kyle! Are you okay?” He turned on Dylan. His face was bright red as he screamed at him, “Get out of my restaurant!”
“Wait a fucking minute-”
“Get out or I’ll call the police.” Amber was struggling to her feet. She put her hand out to help me up, but there was no freaking way I was taking it. I got to my feet on my own, albeit slightly off-balance. There was chaos going on around us now and suddenly, Callie was at my elbow.
“Are you okay?”
Before I could answer her, Dylan looked at Jean Paul and said, “Fuck you,” then he looked at me and said, “And you too, freak!” Grabbing Amber roughly by the arm he said, “Come on.”
“Amber, you don’t have to go with him.” Dylan was instantly in my face and Jean Paul was on his phone calling 911.
“Where she goes in none of your fucking business, back off!”
“Amber…” She wouldn’t even look at me, but Dylan did. He let go of her and shoved me again. This time I stayed on my feet and shoved him back. She grabbed his arm.
“Stop it!” she looked at me then finally, accusingly. “Both of you stop! Come on, Dylan…” She didn’t look at me, but Dylan did. I got a smug, self-satisfied smirk. Everyone in the restaurant watched them go. Callie asked me again if I was okay and so did Jean Paul. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry, Jean Paul.”
“No! You have nothing to be sorry for. That man is never allowed in here again. I’m so sorry for your tro
ubles, Kyle. Let me comp you two a nice dinner and champagne.”
“I just want to go home, but thank you.” I looked at Callie then. “I’m sorry.”
She had tears in her eyes, and I felt bad for embarrassing her. I wondered if she was ashamed of me for not really fighting back. Besides being a little off-kilter still, I’m not really a fight in public kind of guy. I guess I’m a little slow because after all of that analyzing, it didn’t even dawn on me until we got into the car that embarrassment wasn’t the emotion she was struggling with. She started the car and then turned it off and turned in her seat to look at me. “Are you in love with her?”
Shit! Am I in love with her? “I’m not sure” would probably not be the answer my current girlfriend was looking for, so I played dumb instead. “What? Who? Amber?”
“Yes, Amber, of course Amber. Was there another woman you snuck off in the middle of our date to talk to and then fought with her fiancé over?” Her words were dripping with sarcasm. Wow…completely clueless, that’s what I am. She had tears flowing down her cheeks now. Shit. I’m an ass. I honestly never meant to hurt her.
“Jesus, Callie, I’m sorry, really…” she started the car again. “Callie, please look at me. I shouldn’t have gone to talk to her, that was so wrong and the worst part of it is that I didn’t even realize it until just now. Please believe that it didn’t have anything to do with you-”
“Of course, it didn’t have anything to do with me. It was all about Amber. While I was left wondering what the hell happened to my date, two men were fighting over the green eyed princess…”
I was back on the defensive again. I didn’t like her talking about Amber that way. “Callie, if you want to be mad at someone over this, you should be mad at me, not Amber.”
“I should be, huh?” she turned the car off. Man, I’m an idiot. In the most sarcastic voice she could possibly muster she said, “Thank you so much for telling me who I should be mad at.” She sat there stewing for a few minutes and then she said, “The truth is Kyle I didn’t ‘want’ to be mad at anyone. I was really excited about having a nice dinner in a nice restaurant with a nice guy that I was under the impression I was in a new relationship with. But apparently, you’re not quite finished with your old relationship yet. It was nice to know that this Dylan guy seemed as surprised about all of this as I was.”