by Glynis Astie
Louis did his best to breathe through his pain. (Bet he wouldn’t have minded his own infusion of drugs!) “Syd, Grace and Nigel will pick up your mother from the airport. They were coming to pick up my mom anyway.”
I had totally forgotten! I told Louis displacing my mother because of his mother’s spontaneous (read: unsolicited) visit was unacceptable. Nigel and Grace were gracious enough to host Simone for her last week in the US, though I doubted she would spend much time at their place. She was going to soak up as much of her grandson as she could before she left. I cringed while wondering how my mom would do with Simone’s possessive attitude. My mom may seem nice, but she gets pretty feisty if you keep her from something she truly wants. And she couldn’t wait to get her hands on her youngest daughter’s first child.
Dr. Jones patiently set up the procedure again and I didn’t move a muscle until he was finished. Then he and Louis settled me onto my back and I felt a cool sensation swirling through my body.
My lips formed a delighted “O” as the numbness spread. “That’s nice.”
Louis kissed my forehead. “Enjoy the rest, mon coeur. You will need your energy for Luc’s grand entrance.”
I squeezed his hand briefly before drifting into dreamland.
I woke with a start to a bevy of machines beeping. I was able to take one short breath before—mother bleeper! PAIN! What happened to my lovely drugs? I scanned the room wildly, searching for someone to tell me what was going on.
Louis pressed a cool cloth to my forehead. “It is OK, Syd. You are having a contraction.”
“But—”
He sighed. “The epidural must have worn off. Dr. Jones told me this might happen.”
I opened my mouth to tell him to get me another one, STAT, when he put his finger up.
He spoke very softly to ensure my rapt attention. “There is not time to administer another one. Dr. Bauer will be here in a minute. It is time to meet our little one.”
For one brief moment, my heart stopped. Fear pummeled me to my very core as the enormity of what I was about to do flashed through my mind.
Louis put his finger under my chin, bringing my eyes to meet his. “You can do this.”
I mustered as much energy as I could, gripping the handrails of my hospital bed with white knuckles.
He carefully unhooked my hands and smiled encouragingly. “If you do not believe me, just ask Master Yoda.” He gestured behind him to the bobblehead swinging his gigantic green ears up and down.
I exhaled slowly. “I can do this,” I whispered. When this statement did nothing to improve my confidence, I turned to my husband and pleaded, “Tell me something happy.”
His face exploded into a grin. “Well, besides the fact that we will be parents very soon, we got the house!” He held up his hand for a high five, which I obliged, curling my fingers around his as the pain hit again. The poor man was totally regretting his chosen method to express joy.
As I formulated my apology for the bone-crushing five (Scrubs reference! Holla!), Dr. Bauer swept into the room and clapped her hands.
“Are you ready, Sydney?”
With a firm (yet gentle) grip on my husband’s hand, I grunted my assent. I may as well start practicing now. Pushing a baby out of your body seemed to involve a whole lotta grunting.
The sweat pouring from my palm necessitated the readjustment of my hold on Louis’ hand. I quickly glanced down while tightening my grip and noticed a VIDEO CAMERA in my husband’s other hand.
“Bluey!” I wailed. “Please tell me you weren’t going to take advantage of my fragile state by filming Luc’s entrance into this world through my…” A massive wave of pain ravaged my body as I growled through gritted teeth, “my…girlie…bits!”
Dr. Bauer tried (and failed) not to smirk while making the required alterations to the bed and helped me place my feet in the stirrups.
Louis hesitated. “Syd, I think you will regret not having this, um, momentous occasion on film.”
My eyes bored through him. “I have enough MOMENTOUS occasions on film for the time being.” (Seriously! I already have some stellar numbers on YouTube from my gastric display during Maya’s wedding ceremony.) “Luc and I will thank you not to expose our private areas to the world in the name of…memories. Trust me when I tell you we will never forget this moment.”
Successfully chastened, Louis laid the camera on the table behind him and returned to his place by my side.
I smiled at him gratefully. “Please wait until everything is covered before you begin filming.”
Louis nodded and squeezed my hand. “Of course, mon coeur.”
Dr. Bauer cleared her throat to draw our attention back to her. “OK, Sydney, let’s get this show on the road.” Right before she put on her mask, she gestured behind her and said, “Bertha will be assisting me with your baby’s birth.”
My breath caught and my eyes locked with Bertha’s. Our dislike of each other was palpable, but we both knew putting our feelings aside and working together was an absolute necessity in this instance. I gave her a nearly imperceptible nod, which she returned in kind.
Dr. Bauer’s voice brought my attention back to the very important task at hand. “Take a deep breath, Sydney. It’s time to push.”
I held on tight to Louis and did my best to swallow my fear. This was the moment we had all been waiting for. I had no choice but to be brave. Ready or not world, here comes Luc Theodore Michel Durand.
Chapter Thirty
I couldn’t stop staring at his flawless face. He had been sleeping for the past thirty minutes, but I was unable to tear my eyes away from every smile, snuffle and eyebrow raise he had while dreaming. But, where are my manners? You are in need of some important details. Luc was born at two fourteen in the morning on June fifteenth—two days BEFORE his official due date. He weighed in at a whopping seven pounds, eleven ounces (It may not sound whopping, but it sure felt that way to me!) and measured twenty-one inches long. With his tuft of dark hair and gorgeous blue eyes, my baby boy was absolutely perfect.
It had been two days since our precious Luc was born and we were slated to leave the hospital that afternoon. I was grateful for the nursing staff, not only for the guidance in caring for my baby, but also for taking care of me. Both grandmothers and my husband had been completely occupied with caring for Luc. This behavior was most unlike my mother, but I surmised Simone’s overzealous behavior had brought out her competitive nature. Poor Luc couldn’t make a single noise without someone running to him to check every inch of his body for problems.
To say the last two days had been chaotic would be an understatement. If I had stopped to think about everything I had been through, my head would have exploded. My intense hatred of Bertha only fueled my pushing efforts, causing Luc to arrive a mere thirty minutes after Dr. Bauer’s arrival. (Apparently, this is considered rather quick in the medical trade. Go figure.) Once he was pronounced in good health, I collapsed into Louis’ arms in triumph. I had done it!
Louis and I marveled over our beautiful miracle with tears in our eyes, whispering silly nonsense to him while making goofy faces. Louis then left our lovefest to phone every person we knew, announcing Luc’s arrival with a level of excitement I had never seen from him before. Too bad for the majority of the recipients, these calls were placed beginning at THREE THIRTY in the morning. (East coasters and French connections fared much better due to the time difference.) My giddy husband’s desire to tell the world about the arrival of his son wouldn’t be quashed!
Aside from the need to keep an ice pack on my lady parts for the first twenty-four hours following Luc’s birth, the biggest shock of childbirth had been a particular, um, change in my body. Let us call it an enormous growth spurt. It was no secret that pregnancy would most likely expand your breasts by at least one cup size. Evidently, I missed the passage in my pregnancy books which mentioned an increase of one or TWO cup sizes when your milk came in.
Then again, this particular deficienc
y of information wasn’t entirely surprising, since Dr. Bauer asked me to stop reading my pregnancy books when my gestational hypertension was discovered. (Shocker!) She then required Louis to filter the information for me and clearly, he felt this point would be too disturbing for me to handle.
The irony was I had always wanted a big chest when I was a teenager. Both Kate and my mother are quite well-endowed and I had spent my life feeling inadequate. Kate repeatedly told me how awful it was to carry such a load, going as far as showing me the groove her bra strap had left in her shoulder, but I hadn’t believed her. To my young ears, these were made-up excuses to make me feel better about my “shot glasses” (as opposed to jugs), “berries” (as opposed to melons) or my personal favorite, “bicycle reflectors” (as opposed to headlights). The number of terms used to describe women’s breasts is truly absurd. Whatever they were called, I wanted great BIG ones!
However, nothing could have prepared me for the sight of my naked body the day after I gave birth to Luc. Finally disgusted enough with myself to take a shower, I carefully got out of my hospital bed, trudged to the bathroom, removed my hospital gown, reached to turn on the shower and screamed bloody murder when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I had been vaguely aware of my chest feeling sore, but it in all fairness, my body had been through a decent amount of trauma and I hadn’t slept much, so I didn’t give the pain a second thought. My swollen reflection plainly denoted the source of my aching.
I stared into the mirror, taking in the realization that I had been given the generous rack I had coveted for years. Imagine my surprise when instead of whooping with joy, I wept profusely over my new endowment. My breasts had swollen to four times their original size. (FOUR TIMES!) How was that even possible?
Understandably concerned by my scream, my husband came running into the bathroom, phone still in hand to assess my issue. His eyes nearly fell out of his head when he saw my chest. The grin on his face bespoke his delight. In the span of twenty-four hours, he had not only gained a beautiful son, but some new toys to play with. Men are so easy.
Unfortunately, my mood was decidedly less chipper. Aside from the general fatigue and the intense pain of my new acquisition, I quickly came to the conclusion that all my nursing bras were the wrong size. I needed firm support more than ever, but there was no way I could fit into the D-cup bras I had packed. What was I going to do?
The idea of sending Louis out to buy bras wasn’t only comical but pointless; his discomfort in shopping for such an item would lead to disastrous results. My mother was severely jet lagged (as well as extremely drained from helping take care of Ginny up until the moment she left for California) and Simone was dependent on us for both transportation and translation. My only option was clear. I had to call in the expert.
Following the five minute lecture from Kate regarding my refusal of her instruction to buy a larger nursing bra than I thought I would need, she told me she had it covered. If it meant obtaining a garment which would fit my new size, I would endure all the smugness she had to give. Dreaming about my new support gave me a sense of peace I hadn’t had in many months. (That is a little sad, isn’t it?)
An hour later, Kate marched into my hospital room with a large bag and a triumphant expression. She held up the bag, waved her hand and said, “Ta-da!”
I smiled. “Thank you, Kate. You’re a true life saver.”
She put the bag on the nearest chair and kissed me on the forehead. “You’re welcome, sweetie. Where is everybody?”
“Oh, Luc was taken to have his final check-up before leaving the hospital.”
Kate cocked her head to the side. “And he needed an entourage?”
“They go wherever he goes.” I sighed. “He is pretty cute.”
She picked up the bag and took out a nursing bra. “OK, my dear, this is all set to go. There are four more in the bag, all washed and ready to wear.”
My mouth fell open. “But I called you an hour ago. How did you know?” For the umpteenth time in my life, I wondered if my sister were psychic.
She smirked. “I knew you would need a larger size. I returned most of your smaller bras and prepared these for you.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “What would I do without you?”
She took my hand. “There’s no need to worry about that. As I’ve told you many times before, I’ll always be here, Syd.” She gently pulled me to a standing position. “Now, let’s go into the bathroom and put this on. It may take a few minutes.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me and smirked. This should be a rip-roaring good time…
Ten minutes later, Kate and I were happily relaxing on my bed, idly flicking through morning talk shows on the ancient TV perched in the corner of my hospital room. I was thrilled to feel considerably less pain in my chest and she was thrilled to eat the cruller Louis had picked up for me this morning. I considered it to be a more than fair trade. This should give you a clue as to just how good I felt, since you have firsthand knowledge of my deep regard for fried dough.
After Kate had washed the last of her doughnut down with a swig of tea, she turned to me with a sense of purpose. “How are you feeling?”
I pushed my hair behind my ears. “Well, I’ve been much more successful at getting Luc to latch, but I’m still struggling with how painful it is to breastfeed him.”
“Wait until he has teeth!” Kate quipped.
I laughed uneasily. “I’m sure that will be lovely.”
“The pain will subside before you know it.” Kate patted my hand. ‘So, I hear you got to talk to Dad this morning. He called me in search of even more photos of Luc. He’s so excited to have another boy in the family!”
I chuckled. My dad was well known for his love of what my mother referred to as “penis bonding.” Not at all a literal statement, this expression simply referred to masculine activities. It is my firm belief that my mom simply enjoys saying the word “penis.”
I grabbed Kate’s hand, suddenly remembering what our proud father had said to me yesterday. “Dad actually asked me—in all seriousness—if Louis had made it through labor without fainting.”
Kate covered her mouth with her hand. “Shut up! Like that would ever be a problem for Louis.”
“I know!” I giggled uncontrollably. “I think he was hoping Louis was squeamish. He’s always on the lookout for a good story for his cronies.”
“The man has NO limits.” Kate stood up and stretched. “I’m going to run to the bathroom. Do you need anything before I go?” She picked up her purse and waited for a response.
“Nope. I’m all set. I think I’ll close my eyes for a minute.”
A few minutes later, I was jerked awake by something heavy hitting my bed. My eyes flew open to find Kate looking wobbly and pale. I rubbed my eyes, willing myself to wake up so I could think coherently.
“Kate?”
She gazed forlornly back at me.
Was I dreaming? I smacked my forehead with my palm and judged myself to be awake by the sudden pain I felt. I turned back to my sister and tried again. “Kate, are you alright?”
My heartbeat began to pick up. Was something wrong with sweet baby Luc? He had just been born! He was barely two days old! What had happened?
As the entire world of possibilities raced through my mind, Kate stood up, walked the length of the room and returned to my bed, clumsily throwing herself down next to me. There was no attempt to sit down in a ladylike fashion, which was MOST unKatelike. Something was very, very wrong. Manners were of the utmost importance to my sister.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, probably harder than I needed to, but she was freaking me out. She very closely resembled a zombie.
“Ouch!” Definitely too hard. But she had been keeping me waiting for long enough.
“I’m sorry!” I winced. I hadn’t intended to cause her pain. “Snap out of it! What’s going on? Is something wrong with Luc?”
She shook her head sadly. “Nothing is wrong with him. He’s perfect.”
I squeezed her hand again, but much more gently this time. “Kate! What. Is. Wrong?”
She exhaled very slowly. She had better get to the point soon or I would have to throttle her. And then we would never find out! And I would go to jail, effectively leaving two adorable children without their mommies.
We all know that I wouldn’t actually harm a hair on my sister’s head, but the post-partum hormones brought me dangerously close to believing I would. Biology can really be a bitch. (Pun absolutely intended, y’all!)
I counted to ten in my head as I waited for her to find her way back to reality. Kate had talked me through a LONG series of disasters in my lifetime; I could do her the courtesy of waiting a few more minutes without making a snarky comment.
A single tear ran down her face when she turned to me and said, “I’m pregnant.”
What? I thought they were going to wait a few more months before trying again. Oh…
I quickly put my finger under her chin and peered into her eyes. “You were planning on having another baby. So what if your little one is coming a bit early?”
Kate gazed up at me and her smile grew. She knew I was right. As if on cue, we simultaneously started squealing with joy.
I stopped squealing long enough to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me when you came in? This is huge news!”
She took a deep breath. “I wasn’t sure. My period was late and I kept meaning to take a test, but then you went into labor and I forgot. When I went to the bathroom, I remembered I had the test in my purse, so I took it.”
I froze. “So, I’m the first to know?”
She grabbed my shoulders. “You have to promise not to tell Nick. He HAS to think he was the first to know.” She put her hands in her lap and began to wring them. “I meant to tell him first. I’ve just been so exhausted, Syd.”
“Kate, relax. Everything will be fine.” I put my arm around her protectively. “I’m so happy for you and Nick! And Sam! She’s going to be a big sister!”