She wiped her eyes again and sniffled. “The shock of seeing it. I don’t know. I grew up happily enough. Gran did her best to fill the gap of their loss, but she never talked about them much after that. I wonder how different things might have been if I’d understood what really happened. I don’t know if I ever processed it.”
Gypcie looked at me gravely, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. “After this…after what we just experienced…I have some idea of what they went through now. And I feel guilty, standing here when they aren’t.”
We both sat down against the wall dejectedly, our feet splayed out in front of us. I was overwhelmed by the desire to tell her not to feel guilty, that it wasn’t her fault she was one of Gaia’s chosen when her parents weren’t, but I knew better than to tell her how to feel.
I reflected on my own experience after collapsing. My vision of swallowing the bee was exactly as I recalled it happening. It seemed likely that Gypcie’s vision of her parent’s death was not her imagination either, and I had no idea how to comfort her further. We stayed there in silence, listening to the sounds of the school courtyard, each of us lost in our thoughts.
Finally, Gypcie asked. “Did we get the wraith?”
I shook my head. “I definitely saw it go into the mirror…” I thought about continuing, but as the reel played forward on my memory, I shook my head again and decided to stop there.
She got up and walked over to the mirror, still sitting where we’d left it, near the puddle of Montag’s blood seeping into the stones, and with a ragged scream, stomped on it over and over, breaking the mirror into dust in its ornate frame.
“Well, at least the fecker won’t be coming back through that one,” she growled, her fists clenched. She raised her right arm and shook it. “And the devil take any stupid superstitious bad luck curse.”
I sat there gloomily, huddled against the wall, looking up at the night sky. “What are we going to do? I was so worried about graduation…” I sighed and shook my head again. “We’re not strong enough to beat this wraith. I feel like everything we’ve been working for has turned to ashes. I miss my mom.”
Gypcie came over and sat back down. “I miss my parents too,” she said, sighing. “I miss Gran Rose.”
I felt my cheeks go red and felt ashamed. My mother was still alive as far as I knew.
She reached over and took my hand. “At least we have one another, Wedd. We’ll get through this.”
Relief that I hadn’t hurt her further with my thoughtlessness flowed through me. “I know we will, Gypcie,” I said firmly, squeezing her hand in return.
CHAPTER FOUR
Broken Mirrors Reflect Truth
After we rested and processed a while longer, Gypcie and I decided the best course of action was to take the broken mirror frame to Headmaster Montag and Ms. Usher and let them know what had happened. We weren’t sure if the wraith was gone for good, but we were definitely ready for some answers.
We stood up, gathered the frame and the spectrometer, and headed in through the front door, turning left at the foyer toward the Administrative Office. I could see that despite the number of familiars we’d destroyed earlier, a few had started to gather again around the corner by the Bingo cola machine. No such luck that we’d eliminated them all.
We stepped through the threshold past the ward and headed up to the inner office. There we found the Headmaster, Ms. Usher, and Carter much where we’d left them last.
“How are you?” Ms. Usher asked.
I resisted the urge to blurt out, “Pissed off!” Gypcie, ever the diplomatic one, responded more gracefully.
“We found the wraith and confronted it,” she explained. “But we were not strong enough and it…” Her voice broke. “It defeated us and we died.”
“You didn’t die, Miss McCullough,” Headmaster Montag lectured. “You merely experienced anima exhaustion. You both experienced your first transition. How delightful.”
I scowled, and Gypcie bowed her head. Ms. Usher threw the headmaster a terse look.
“Girls, I’m sorry. That must have been quite a shock,” she said quickly. “How’re ye holdin’ up?”
Thankful for Ms. Usher’s compassion, we both briefly related our experience.
“I can see you’re both quite shaken. It is very common to have an experience not unlike dreaming while your anima is being recycled and reconstructed by Gaia,” she said, adding with a sad smile, “It does get easier with time.”
Gypcie and I looked at each other in horror. I for one was not intending to do that ever again if I could avoid it. Judging by the expression on her face, I guessed Gypcie was in full agreement.
Ms. Usher took a deep breath, continued on. “Tsk. These parts have gotten pretty lively since everyone died. Not quite the rescue we’d envisioned. More of an investigation, eh? So let’s see what you’ve got.”
Gypcie handed Ms. Usher the empty mirror frame, and she examined scrutinized it.
“The glass has been pulverized. I can’t tell. Here, H.J., you have a look,” she said, shaking her head and handing it to him.
“The wraith is still at large,” Montag said firmly, tossing the frame in a nearby waste can without looking at it. “It simply uses the mirror as a convenience to port between its hellish dimension and our own. You’ll have to go back out there and find it again.”
We both protested loudly at that.
“How will we trap it, even if we do find it?” I asked. “Clearly, based on what you’ve said, it can’t be trapped in a mirror.”
He nodded in agreement. “You are aware that members of some cultures fear a photograph can steal their soul? They are, of course, correct.”
Then, in his typical Montag way, he continued on cryptically, “Well. To record this power is to take the first faltering step towards succumbing to it. Utterly. In my life, I have always striven to maintain a clear delineation between obsession and madness.”
That confused me completely. Even Carter and Ms. Usher looked puzzled by his response.
“We need to get it to jump into a picture somehow?” Gypcie ventured. “Like take a picture as it’s retreating into a mirror?”
“Exactly so.”
Irritation bubbled over inside me. Now we had to figure out how to snap a photo as we were fighting for our lives? I couldn’t stop myself from saying what popped out of my mouth next.
“Headmaster Montag, I’d like to understand a little more about how you came to cast this death curse in the first place. You said you were ‘young and needed the knowledge.’ Exactly how young were you?” I demanded, making air quotes as I glared at him.
“Why, I don’t…I was a child. I couldn’t have been more than…seventeen at the time,” he sputtered.
My irritation blew up into a full-fledged rage. At that moment, I didn’t care one whit if I ever graduated from Innsmouth Academy, I was so full of disgust for the headmaster.
“Seventeen?” I choked out. “I am seventeen. Gypcie is seventeen. Carter is younger than that, and we know better than to run around cursing random strangers.”
“Oh, it wasn’t just random strangers, young lady. My mother, too, was affected.”
“Affected? She died, didn’t she?” Gypcie cried out. “How can you be so cold?”
“H.J., you’re not making it any easier for the girls to understand,” said Ms. Usher, holding up her hands to try to calm us. “Wedd, remember, you had the benefit of education here at Innsmouth that the Headmaster did not. And while he might not have the capacity to be precisely sorry for what he did, he does take full responsibility for it. Up to and including, as you’ll recall, being willing to be sacrificed to set things right.”
“It seems like we’re the only ones being sacrificed,” I shouted. “And the Headmaster is hiding here from his own just deserts!”
Carter stood up suddenly, her eyes glowing, and spoke very clearly through her clenched teeth. “Wedd, I think you need to show the headmaster a little more respect. W
e don’t know what pressures he’s under.”
A cold thrill ran down my back. I did not want to go mano a mano against Carter’s powers, but I would if I had to. I dropped my leg back to prepare to fight. Gypcie and Ms. Usher moved closer to me, and Ms. Usher put a restraining hand on my arm.
“I. Just. Want. Some. Answers.” I seethed.
The venom in my voice and Carter’s reaction finally appeared to break through his analytical facade.
“Do you read, Miss Mallory?” he asked, sighing. “It's a fading art. In this modern world, offer an occultist an irreplaceable manuscript, and they will claim they are waiting for the movie. All the scholarly aspect has gone out of forbidden knowledge. The studiousness, the drive. And yet, in the end, even the written word could not sustain my mind. I had plumbed the depths of ancient texts, scaled the heights of correspondence with the great minds of our age, and understanding had reached an awful stalemate within me.”
He paused and clasped his hands together. “The epiphany struck. Epiphany, and acquittal on all counts of manslaughter. Children. I put to you that children are the...perfect transmitters of knowledge. The perfect receivers. Vessels of malleable power and bottomless potential.”
Ms. Usher cleared her throat loudly and broke into his monologue. “Whit H.J. is trying tae say, girls, is that he kens he’s nae a jimmy wi'oot hings wrang wi it. Tis nae an easy thing, takin wae me thae weans intae a world fraught wi' occult rites 'n' secret handshakes. It steals a real bas, even oan th' best o' days.”
She was trying to translate for the headmaster while speaking in a nearly incomprehensible brogue herself. I would have found it ironic if I still wasn’t still so angry.
“So he’s a bastard,” I seethed. “That’s supposed to make it okay that Gypcie and I were just dismembered with a scythe and then patched back together by bees? How do we even start to process that? How can you expect us to face the wraith again?”
Gypcie raised her eyebrows at me with alarm and then looked meaningfully at Carter. Carter was listening to me with her head cocked to the side, but finally nodded at what I was saying.
I took in a deep breath to relieve and calm myself.
Ms. Usher also took a deep breath, getting her brogue under control, then continued. “The Headmaster is indeed under a great deal of pressure, girls. Being the headmaster means dealing with the competition for the most talented students, the petty jealousies and the ancient blood feuds between the most prominent institutions... and the more and less covert attempts at industrial espionage. All take their toll. And of course, the deaths.
“Being responsible for every single life lost in the pursuit of knowledge would break less than an arrogant man. That’s why the Illuminati brought him here. That is why the school has…thrived.”
She paused, then added, “I know it’s frightening to experience anima exhaustion, but while this might be your first time, it is unlikely to be your last if you join a secret society as an agent. You’ll have to learn how to manage it.”
“How do you manage something like that?” Gypcie folded her arms across her chest.
Ms. Usher gave her an awkward smile. “I do it by remembering that first and foremost, our job is to protect people. As students, we try to prepare you for what will be expected of you as you join your secret societies. But as magic users we all,” she said gesturing to Gypcie and me as well as herself, Carter, and Montag, “are the way we are to protect people. And despite what you might be thinking, that includes the headmaster.”
I slumped my shoulders and looked down at my feet. What she was saying made sense. Headmaster Montag wasn’t perfect—far from it—but he was doing his best to hold things together, not just at the academy, but on all of Solomon Island, without enough resources, unless fish pies counted.
Gypcie shuffled her feet beside me. Ms. Usher chewed her lip, and Headmaster Montag wrung his hands, which made the blue surgical gloves creak. Crickets.
Finally, Carter spoke up.
“I’m sorry for getting upset, Wedd,” she said. “I understand where you’re coming from. I do. I wish I could say this isn’t how I planned my sweet sixteen. But really, I haven’t known any other life. They took me in here when I was twelve, the youngest enrollment since like, ever. My parents didn’t wanna let me go, but what else could they do? Pay off another trashed house and interstate move? They still apologize in every letter from home.”
She shrugged her shoulders and threw up her hands. “I get a little protective of the headmaster and the Academy. Here teachers straight-up told me I had a great responsibility for the way the world would be. Heavy, right? That’s like graduation speech stuff. And I got hit with it before puberty! So, I pretty much became the outcast loner chick with the dark secret. Just like you and Gypcie, I guess.”
I looked at Carter a moment, then bobbed my head. “Thanks for that. I’m sorry, too. It’s just hard. I didn’t expect it. I didn’t know what to expect… What I’m trying to say is, I guess I’ve been thinking about this problem like a teenager and it’s an adult problem.”
“But…” I lifted my head and looked over at Gypcie. She stood tall and gave me a nod. “But the adults are all busy here with other problems, so I guess it’s time to grow up.”
“Well spoken, Miss Mallory,” the headmaster said, and then began to lecture. “You may wonder why the Illuminati invested in an open institution like the Academy. It is a mirror to their brotherhood, exclusive but not elitist. I was self-taught when they first came to me, as a young offender….”
“H.J.” Ms. Usher held up a firm hand, stopping him. She gave us a wry smile. “He can’t help himself. At least he lets us deal with the parents now. After those first couple of accidental self-immolations, some thought it best we kept him away from grieving relatives. For what it’s worth, I'm truly sorry you've been dropped in at the deep end. I couldn't tell you what happens next. For the world, and your place in it. But I do know that you can do tremendous good for the Academy and the headmaster by finding and destroying this wraith.”
“We are going to need more mirrors.” Gypcie said.
“And we also need a camera, apparently,” I added, dryly.
Gypcie pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and waggled it at me. Ah, that would probably work.
Gypcie and I nodded at Ms. Usher, said our good-byes, gathered our things and headed toward the back room of the Administrative Office door to get some rest for the night.
Ms. Usher called after us, “Keep fighting the good fight. Or whatever you believe you’re doing.”
I dreamed during the night of my initiation. Me, wearing the Templar uniform, standing in a grand hall, shaking Richard Sonnac’s hand, Gypcie and my mother and a host of Templar agents looking on and clapping.
As a result, when I awoke, I was filled with enthusiasm that we could successfully eliminate the wraith. I ruminated on the problem as Gypcie and I made our way to the supply closet to collect another mirror. To tackle this problem would require some ingenuity, but also a significantly different perspective.
First was coming to grips with the idea of being “chosen” by Gaia. I mean, I had thought I knew what it meant. Access to anima and the capability to manipulate it to fight and defend myself. What was blowing me away at the moment was the realization that I was more or less immortal. What difference did only being seventeen make if I probably would never die? Would I age? How badly would dating suck if we got older but were stuck in a young body? The reverse was even worse to contemplate.
Second, the dying-not dying thing. I could make a strong case for avoiding anima exhaustion again at all costs. That was possibly the most distressing and awful experience of my life. I doubted it would get much better with practice. Gypcie and I may not have actually died, but it sure felt that way. Pain was pain and seeing one’s body dismembered was not an experience I was likely to forget.
Third was the blood magic. I had to figure out how to dig in and “make friends” so to speak with
the power that ran through my veins. I realized that I had avoided it because it was part of my mother. I had unconsciously distanced myself from her as I entered the academy and found chaos magic, which was entirely my own. It had been only too easy to rely solely on that through my years at Innsmouth Academy, but it was a liability now.
Fourth…
My rumination was shattered by the whoosh of a fireball.
“Will you pay attention?” Gypcie growled at me in frustration, as she lobbed another flaming ball at the head of a familiar that had found its way back into the supply closet. “Quit being a tool and help!”
“Sorry!”
I grabbed my chaos focus and manifested a reality fracture underneath the familiar, which happened to be standing right next to the box of mirrors.
CRACK. Whoops. That wasn’t what I was trying to do.
Gypcie glared at me. “You better not have broken all of them.”
Putting my chaos focus back in its strap, I reached for my athame and winced as I cut the end of my pointer finger on my left hand. I covered my right pointer finger with blood and reaching for the familiar, I cast a maleficium, directing the blood spell like a conductor pointing to the bass section to come in. Bright red runes splashed against the familiar and it squealed as the spell swallowed its life force in gulps.
Gypcie raised both of her hands together and placed a single fiery manifestation of flame under the familiar. The flames licked its body as it continued to shriek and squirm under our assault. Before long it collapsed and disintegrated. Gypcie extinguished her spell and turned to me, anger apparent in her eyes, completely ignoring the golden anima shard that glittered where the familiar had stood. That couldn’t be good.
I popped my cut finger into my mouth. “What?” I said around my finger.
“Were you not listening back there? Do you not understand the stakes here? What happened to acting like a grown up?” she said in an icy tone.
“I’m sorry,” I said, taking my finger from my mouth and crossing my arms. “I was contemplating those very stakes when you hauled off and whacked that dummy with a fireball.”
To Sir, with Love: An Unofficial Legend of The Secret World (Unofficial Legends of The Secret World Book 1) Page 10