by Casey Watson
We arrived at a large sprawling pub on the far edge of town just half an hour later.
‘Ooh, look, kids eat free,’ Sophie observed. ‘Wonder if I’ll be able to hoodwink them.’
We all clambered out. Being a Saturday, and a sunny spring one, it was busy, but also enormous, a giant-sized rabbit warren of eating areas, play areas, picnic tables and an enormous soft play zone, to boot, and I made a mental note that this would be a great place to take the family. But today was about reuniting another family, that of the smiling but growing nervous now twelve-year-old whose hand was in mine.
Though not for long. I knew we’d found the right person before I even saw her because that same little hand slipped suddenly from mine and Bella was off towards the woman who was waving manically at her. ‘Mummy!’ she cried as she launched herself at her. ‘Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!’, plastering the same kisses on her mother’s face as Marley Mae had on hers. It hit me forcibly then just how much of a child our stoic little visitor really was. And had to try not to cry all over again.
‘You’d match them in a line-up, wouldn’t you?’ Sophie whispered, as we watched Bella’s progress to the main pub dining area and, finally, into the arms of her mother. She was right. Even if I hadn’t seen a photograph, I’d have identified her immediately. She had the same hair and eyes, and the same sort of build, though her ordeal certainly showed in her gauntness.
We both hung back, so they could have some time alone.
‘And, you know, you can just tell what a good mum she is, can’t you?’ Sophie said quietly. ‘I could see it when I saw them in the prison together, but now she doesn’t have to watch what she’s saying, it’s even more obvious. You know what I mean? That connection.’
I nodded. ‘I don’t think I ever doubted it,’ I said. ‘Bella clearly loves her mother. And her mother was simply doing what she thought was right. Protecting her daughter, and at potentially huge cost to herself. Can you imagine if he had died? God, how different things could have been. I can’t blame her for anything, truth be known. Just the enormity of it all clouded everybody’s judgement.’
‘Speaking of judgements, I have some news on that front actually,’ Sophie said. ‘I thought I’d wait till we all got settled and then I can update you all together. Come on, let’s get a table so we can sit down and discuss it.’
It was the best news Bella could be given. After all the introductions, understandably fulsome and emotional, and the food order (spookily we all ordered the same – chilli and chips), we were settled at our table with our drinks, and Sophie ran through the next steps.
And on what I’d prepared Bella would probably be quite a long journey. And which, happily, she was coming to accept as a reality that wouldn’t be the end of the world. Not least because almost the first thing Laura Daniels said to me was, ‘I could cry knowing she’s with you while all this is ongoing. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am to you all.’ And then she started crying, which set us all off. I knew then that she’d been briefing Bella on the journey herself.
‘I have been in touch with the council on your behalf,’ Sophie told Laura now. ‘And for once – praise the deities – luck is on your side. As you probably already knew, Adam – your ex … [A pause. Tricky to know how to refer to him.] … Bella’s stepfather went to stay with a friend [the lovely Cheryl? I’d take a punt on it.] after leaving hospital, and has now moved completely out of the area.’ Laura Daniels nodded. ‘But what you might not yet know,’ she went on, ‘is that, fortunately for you, he forgot to inform the council that he was going.’
I watched Laura squeeze Bella’s hand as this news began sinking in. ‘So the joint tenancy –’
‘Is still in place,’ Sophie confirmed.
She went on to explain, probably as much for my benefit as anything, that in other circumstances by being in prison Laura would have lost her entitlement to the house – it would have automatically transferred to the joint tenant, in this case Adam Cummings. But because Adam never removed his own name from the tenancy, and Laura had now been released, she could now legally take it back as a sole tenant. ‘Well, so long as you get an arrangement in place to repay the arrears that have obviously mounted up. But don’t worry,’ she went on. ‘It only has to be a very small amount each month. And if you struggle, you can apply for extra housing benefit, given your circumstances. So that’s good, isn’t it?’
Laura hooked her fingers beneath Bella’s chin. ‘What do you think, Bella Boo? Would you be okay about going back to our old house, do you think? Because it’s okay if you’re not. If it’s too difficult, you know, because of everything that happened. Don’t want you having nightmares …’
Bella flapped a dismissive hand. ‘I’ll be fine, Mummy!’ she reassured her. ‘Course I’m okay about it! I’d hate to move anywhere else. It’s our house and always will be. It’s home. Our home. You and me.’ (She didn’t say what I’m sure we were all thinking – without him there.) ‘Anyway, I’d hate to move anywhere away from Ruby and all my other friends. We have to go back there. So this is mega.’
‘Mega?’ Laura Daniels asked. ‘What’s mega when it’s at home?’
A little something from Tyler, to take away with her, I thought happily.
And along with the chilli came yet more good news. Because Adam had more or less admitted that he never knew for sure who had hit him – too drunk to remember, as borne out by his blood alcohol levels – the evidence was now being re-examined, and much discounted (including the name-calling by nosey neighbours? I hoped so), and it would only be a matter of days now before Laura was allowed to leave the halfway house and return home.
So all that preparation for the long haul, and it had suddenly become short haul. Oh, my, I thought. To-do list time again.
‘And what about Bella? Will she have anything on her record?’ Laura asked Sophie. ‘Because if she gets into trouble, or ends up with a criminal record, then all of this will have been for nothing.’
Again Sophie smiled. ‘Her stepfather has already said that if it was Bella, then he wouldn’t press charges, and I don’t think the courts will want to either, to be honest, because if it’s all proven in your favour, Laura, then Bella was simply trying to save you from harm and can’t really be accountable for her actions that night. Anyway, hopefully, in the next few days we’ll all know for sure, and then that really will be the end of it.’
‘Amen to that,’ I said, digging in.
The hour and a half agreed upon was soon over. Funny, I thought, as we licked the last of our ice-cream bowls clean, to think that to any casual observer we must look like any random group of females, out for a girly lunch. Mum and daughter, and, in Sophie and me, perhaps mum and daughter also – she was certainly dark haired and young enough to have been mine. Though a good deal taller, which, admittedly, wasn’t difficult.
Yet around that table sat a shared experience most would – thankfully – never find themselves involved in. It certainly made you wonder. What stories were being played out or recalled on other tables? Everyone had one, after all.
Before we left, and after a very emotional farewell between Bella and her mother, Laura thanked me profusely again, while Sophie and Bella went to the loo for the journey. Laura herself was being picked up by her mother. I wanted so much to ask her about all that but didn’t. We were now truly in the realm of ‘none of my business’.
She thanked me, fulsomely and emotionally, for taking care of her baby, for believing in her, for encouraging her to do the right thing. ‘I was too blinded by fear to do that,’ she said. ‘And I truly thought I was doing what was best for her. Wrong,’ she said. ‘So wrong. She’d have been haunted by it always. It would have destroyed her.’ She shook her head. ‘But you know what? In that moment I’d have done the same again. What mother wouldn’t?’
‘Exactly,’ I agreed.
Laura Daniels sighed. She had expressive eyes, and I could see the guilt in them. Something I supposed, and hoped, would lessen
once they got their lives back on track. ‘She never asked for any of this, did she?’ she said. ‘That’s why. She never asked to be involved in such an abusive relationship, did she? That was all my doing. It’s scary, really, how history repeats itself, isn’t it? I’m sure you must have seen it yourself, often, being a foster mum. And you know the worst of it? That my biggest fear in life was making a life for my child that was like the one I had. With a father like I had …’ She looked past me. ‘Yet here we are. I bloody managed to find one anyway. But no more.’ She smiled then, unexpectedly. ‘Speak of the devil.’ She raised an arm and waved. ‘My mother. Bless her,’ she said. ‘But no more.’
Chapter 25
I believed in Laura Daniels. Just as she’d thanked me for believing in her daughter (a concept that still perplexed me – how else should an adult relate to a child? But then I hadn’t grown up with Laura Daniels’s father, had I?), I believed she would do exactly what she’d promised: break the cycle so her own daughter had a different, better life.
Yes, it might be that, down the line, she met another challenging man, but there can be few wake-up calls as loud as a spell in prison, contemplating a future behind bars and a daughter scarred for life. No, on balance, I’d lay odds that Laura Daniels would be fine.
In the short term, the leaving day, I knew I would not be fine. Yes, I’d be fine in the long term – given the happiness of this particular leave-taking, I knew I’d probably perk up by the end of the day. I had sunflowers to keep an eye on, after all – but right now, on this cloudy Wednesday, with us all crowded by the front gate, I went with the flow, because there was nothing else for it. I was wet inside and very soon wet on the outside, as the tears tracked unhindered down my cheeks. (‘So much crying!’ as Bella had so recently observed.)
Mike wasn’t crying, but once again he was drooling, as Sophie’s sleek BMW sat and dozed by the kerb, like a supermodel enjoying a quick fag break.
Bella was all togged out in the plum-coloured dress she loved so much, and about which I’d revised my original opinion. It suited her perfectly. I wondered what would become of her, this clever little thing – something great, something learned, I had no doubt of it. In the meantime, she was twelve, though, and clutching her Dobby, telling Mike to tell Ty (again) how much she’d loved all the mega times they’d had and how they’d become friends on Facebook.
Tyler himself wasn’t there. It was a school day, for starters, but though I told him he’d be allowed to take the morning off, he’d declined, saying he didn’t want to do all the goodbye stuff. Instead, they’d had their farewell moment over breakfast before he’d left for school. And he had set off with tears in his own eyes. I couldn’t wait to have him home again at teatime. I never could.
‘And everyone else,’ Bella said now, including us all in her glance. ‘And Kieron and Lauren – oh, I’m so sorry I never made it to Lauren’s dance class. And I promise, Casey, I will phone you every week.’
I said I’d love that. Though ideally I hoped that, before too long, it would dwindle to a more manageable once a fortnight, then once a month, because, much as I’d miss her, then I’d know she’d moved on with her life.
She handed Dobby to Marley Mae (‘Not to keep,’ she warned, ‘just so I can give you a proper hug.’) and picked her up, swinging her right up above her shoulders. ‘And I shall Facetime you, my little princess, so we can compare our sunflowers, okay? Now, quick, give me kisses before I have to go.’
Riley squeezed my hand, and I’m quite sure she nipped me a little to try to stop me full-on blubbing like a baby, as we watched little Marley smother Bella in wet kisses.
Bella put her back down, retrieved Dobby (who I could even now see accompanying her to some great seat of learning, and being propped in front of the pillows on some hall of residence bed) and then turned to hug me again. ‘I have to go now,’ she said, ‘but please say goodbye to everyone else for me. I’m going to really miss you. All of you.’
I kissed the top of her head, which smelt of my favourite shampoo. ‘Go on, sweetie,’ I whispered. ‘We’ll see you again, I’m sure. Now go get in the car before you start me off again.’
‘I’m going to miss that car,’ Mike said, as we clustered around it, while Bella climbed in and belted up, and Sophie shut the door.
Sophie winked at me. ‘Do it now,’ she said. We both laughed.
‘What?’ Mike said.
‘Do it now,’ Sophie said again.
‘What, buy a car like yours?’ he said, the penny dropping. ‘I flipping wish.’
He plunged a hand into his jeans pockets, pulled it out and inspected it. Then motioned that I should open my hand.
I did so and he placed couple of pound coins into it. ‘There you go,’ he said. Now it was my turn to look confused. ‘What’s this for?’
‘Definitely won’t be enough to buy a car, Dad,’ Riley said.
‘No, but it’ll be enough for your mum to buy a couple of lottery tickets with.’
Bella had already opened the car window and now she held one of Dobby’s hands out of it.
‘Car-eeee-amus get-eeee-armus!’ she said dramatically, as she waved it. Then she grinned.
‘I know he’s only a house elf, but you never know!’
Epilogue
In the end, to everyone’s relief, Bella’s evidence wasn’t even required. There was no day in court for her because there was no day in court.
Adam Cummings, it seemed, was a rare beast. His brush with death had clearly given him a new and welcome perspective, and once informed of Bella’s disclosures he formally retracted his earlier statement. He also admitted that while he’d been sure it had been his wife who had hit him initially, if Bella said it had been her then it obviously must have been. After all, as he’d pointed out to his lawyer, she had been the only sober person in the room.
To Bella’s great delight, it had also been ‘corroborated forensically’. She’d been able to describe the events of that night in great detail, and her evidence, that her mother had actually been pinned beneath her stepfather (and also where), was borne out by the pattern of blood marks on the floor. She’d been thrilled when the family liaison officer had conveyed this to her. ‘You know what?’ I told her in letter I wrote to her. ‘I think you should consider a career in the law.’ She responded quickly. ‘No! I’m going to be a detective!’
Bella’s stepfather’s greatest move, though, was to move right away and stay away. Yes, he’d dried out, and had no intention of drinking again, ever, but that in itself posed a great risk – of the cycle repeating itself, should Bella’s mother give him yet another chance, which was the last thing Bella wanted, or needed, in the world. As it was, mother and daughter moved back home together and, to date, have been settled and well.
No more was ever heard of the sister-impersonating Cheryl, other than, sadly, she’d stopped going to AA. Out of sight, definitely in my case, very much out of mind. I had done a stupid, unprofessional thing and didn’t I know it? I’d been very lucky not to have it come back and bite me on the bottom, something that, with hindsight, I reflected on at length. I wasn’t sure that I’d never do something like it again, but I hoped not, which, when dealing with high stakes and emotions, was really all you could do.
The sunflowers grew. And grew. And grew. By that August the tallest of the ones growing in ‘Marley Mae’s sunshine garden’ was, at our best guess, some eleven feet tall. We kept a diary, and took pictures, as did Bella, with her own plants. In the end we agreed on a draw.
I got my karaoke machine out on my birthday. :)
Topics for Reading Group Discussion
1. Social Services are often caught between the devil and the deep blue sea – damned if they do and damned if they don’t. In Bella’s case, do you think she should have been taken into care sooner? Or do you think pre-emptive action of that kind risks encroaching on families’ civil liberties?
2. At what age do you think that children should be deemed criminally re
sponsible for their actions? Should ‘extenuating circumstances’ be given more credence with regard to children, and if so, why?
3. When you consider the significant resources used to prosecute an offender, such as the costs of remanding and defending, do you believe that in a case like this the mother should have faced other charges?
4. From this case, what do you think might happen with Bella in the future? Under what circumstances might this manifest? What should be done to minimise the impact of her early years’ trauma?
5. Alcohol is often a factor in the breakdown of family life. As a society, do you think we should be doing more to tighten the rules around its availability and in deciding licensing laws? Or do you feel this will only criminalise addicts further?
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