“In looks, yes. In personality? Not as much. Jaylin is a bit of a wild child.”
“I can see that. But she’s sweet.”
“Oh. Very sweet. A big heart just like her brother.”
A big heart amongst other things. I pushed away that thought as fast as I could. “But the fair?”
“Oh yes. That’s what we were talking about,” she chuckled. “Sure. I remember the rides. They came to an end in the seventies though.”
“Why?” Finally. I was going to get some answers.
“Budget. Safety. Lack of interest. Plus, a new amusement park opened not far from here so there were other places to ride rides.”
“Okay.” I had no reason to be disappointed, it was a perfectly good reason. “It looked like fun though.”
“It was. I have a lot of good memories from that time.”
“Maybe they could bring it back.”
She smiled in a far off way. “If I had the extra money sitting in the bank I probably would do it myself.”
“What’s the fair like now? I know there’s still the baking part. And Jaylin mentioned fireworks.”
“I bet she would. Yes, those things, plus lots of other treats. The pie eating contest has survived. I’m sure you saw that picture.”
“I did. Glad it’s still around.”
“It’s smaller now that we don’t get the crowds up here in the fall, so it’s mostly for us townsfolk.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”
I packed the pictures back into the box. Thank you. I know I’ve taken up a lot of your time already, but how about a tour?”
“Absolutely.” She smiled. “I don’t get to give many tours anymore.”
We walked through the hall I’d first entered through. There were about a dozen enlarged news clippings about the lake. Then we moved into an area called Grandiose Visions. I had to chuckle at the name.
“Wow. Was that really a plan?” I pointed to a large drawing that turned the area around the ski lift into a whole winter park with an ice skating rink, sledding hills, and more.
“Yes, it was. Never happened though. The developer went elsewhere.” She made a clicking sound with her mouth.
“Seems to be a familiar story here, huh?”
“It does.” She nodded. “Are you a historian?”
“Nope. My background is marketing with some PR experience as well. But I love history.”
“Are you working while you are up here?” She clasped her hands together in front of her. “If you don’t mind my asking?”
“No. I mean I’m writing, but not really working.”
“We could always use volunteers here. There isn’t much in the way of visitors, but if you enjoyed the attic rummage you will love what we have in storage here.”
“Really?” I immediately thought of Logan. He’d laugh pretty hard at how excited I was. But he wouldn’t be laughing at me, it would be with me. That was an important distinction. “When can I start?”
“That eager, are you?” Gladys beamed.
“I am looking to stay busy.”
“All right then. But why don’t we head over to the diner for lunch first.” She started back toward the lobby. “My treat.”
“Oh, that sounds great.”
“This way Logan can’t keep you all to himself.”
“Hey, I’ve been hanging out with Jaylin too.” I hoped no one figured out what was going on with Logan and I. I didn’t need to develop a reputation. Then it hit me. It didn’t matter. I was only going to be there for six months.
Lunch sounded nice, and before I left I’d pick up a treat for Jaylin, and also a box of brownie mix. Just in case.
Fourteen
Logan
I finished the ring for Brian. It didn’t take me nearly as much time as I expected, which was a good thing if I planned to make more jewelry moving forward. It was probably a good idea, and much easier to move than my sculptures. I’m sure Brooke would have a lot to say about the marketing angle of all of it. I found I was excited to discuss it with her. It was good reassurance that my feelings for her went far beyond the physical.
I put the ring in my pocket and hopped in my truck. It looked like I was going into town anyway. I wondered if I’d run into Brooke. Not that I would seek her out. I didn’t want to scare her away.
Brian lived in an apartment above the hardware store that he owned now. He’d always been the one who swore he’d get away right after high school, yet somehow that hadn’t happened. I knew the feeling, even if for me it was more about coming back rather than never leaving.
The bell above the door dinged when I entered. He’d recently upgraded it from an actual bell to something electronic. It was a more annoying sound, but it meant that someone might actually hear it in the back.
But not always. “Brian?” I called.
I didn’t get a response so I headed toward the back. He had to have been there. I heard some muffled sounds from the back, but I didn’t put two and two together in time before walking in on him and Jinny in a rather compromising position. I covered my eyes and backed away.
Brian met me toward the front of the store a few minutes later. “Uh, sorry about that man.”
“Yeah, so I have what you needed,” I dropped my voice so Jinny didn’t hear.
“That was fast.”
“I did my best.” I started to pull the ring out of my pocket, but stopped when Jinny appeared. “So, I heard about you and the mysterious girl.”
“I don’t know if you need to call her mysterious.”
“She rented a cabin alone in the off-season and she’s hanging out with you. She’s mysterious.”
“Or desperate,” Brian ribbed.
“I heard she's really pretty,” Jinny said as she smoothed out her hair.
“Not everything is about looks.”
“But it sure helps.”
“Jinny, mind if I talk to Brian for a minute? Then I can let you two get back to what you were doing.”
“Sure. Sure.” She waved her hand as if swatting at me. “I’m going to meet Gail for a late lunch anyway. It’s after two already.” She kissed Brian and then turned to me. “See you around, Logan. Try not to scare away the new girl too quickly.”
I didn’t even bother to respond.
“Here.” I handed over the ring as soon as Jinny disappeared through the door.
He clutched the ring. “I owe you.”
“Yes you do, but that’s okay.”
“What are you up to now?”
“I’m going to run by my Mom’s so I’m there when Jaylin gets home.” It was an impromptu decision, but it made sense as I was already in town.
“Oh wow. You really are the nicest brother.”
“I’m trying my best.”
“Keep that up man.” He patted my arm.
“I'm going to try.” I headed out to my truck and took a quick glance around for Brooke. I didn’t see her, so I got in and headed over to my childhood home.
Mom pulled the door open. “Logan. What a nice surprise. What are you doing here?”
“Do I need a reason to come over?”
“Of course not. But I’m surprised.” What she really was was concerned, but she didn’t want to say that yet.
“I wanted to surprise Jaylin.” I stepped inside.
“That’s sweet.”
“I know.”
“So what’s got you so happy?” She took a seat on the sofa and patted the spot next to her, letting me know I needed to sit.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Uh huh.” She gave me her signature knowing look. “Let me guess. This is something to do with Brooke.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“I won’t ask for details.”
“Good, because you’re not getting any.” My sex life was not on the table of conversations I was ever having with her.
“You are being a gentleman though,
right?”
“Aren’t I always?” Maybe pretty much undressing Brooke in my kitchen didn’t qualify as a gentleman like action, but she enjoyed it, so that had to count for something.
“Usually, yes.” She raised an eyebrow. “But there’s something about that smile you’re wearing.”
“Don’t mom.” I shook my head. “Don’t go there.”
“Ok. I won’t.”
“Good.” I really hoped she dropped it.
“But Gladys called.”
“Oh?” I tried my best to act nonchalant even though I was very curious.
“Sounds like Brooke is going to be volunteering at the museum.”
“Oh yeah?” Wow. That was fast.
“Yeah. Isn’t that nice?”
“Sure. I’m glad she's found something to do.”
“Kind of surprising for a renter to do, but from what Gladys tells me, this girl is pretty special.”
“She is.” I wasn’t going to lie. Mom would see right through me.
* * *
I escaped more grilling when Jaylin ran in and tossed her bag on the ground. “I love fifth grade!” She twirled around.
“Oh right!” I gave her a high five. “Tell us all about it.”
“It was awesome.”
“Great!” I was so relieved. “I told you fifth grade would be great.”
“It is. So great.”
“Any particular reason?” Mom asked.
“Ms. Nelson is awesome. My locker is awesome. My friends are awesome.”
“That’s a whole lot of awesome.”
“Yes!” She twirled around again. “I’m going to go practice my violin.”
“Do you know how to play yet?” As far as I knew she hadn’t taken a lesson in the last twenty-four hours.
“How about a snack?” Mom asked.
“I’ll be down later.” She ran upstairs without answering either of us.
“Ok. So that was totally worth waiting around for,” I joked.
Mom laughed. “She’ll be a teen before we know it.”
I sighed, “Time needs to slow down.”
Fifteen
Brooke
I wasn’t sure where September went, but it started one minute, and then the next it was over. It had sped away between my days volunteering to clean out the storage room at the museum, writing tiny bits of my play, and spending more than a few nights with Logan.
I’d tried to slow us down, but as I didn’t really want it slowed down, I failed miserably. Instead we fell into a rhythm of walking Maple, making dinner, and then ending up in one bed or the other after dessert. I wasn’t sure which guilty pleasure was worse: the sex or the ice cream.
Things were usually light with us. After my initial pour out my soul sessions about Will, I didn’t feel the need to talk about him anymore. Instead we talked about random things like TV, and dogs, and what random stuff I found at the museum. And we talked about Jaylin a lot. She came to visit twice that month, and she easily spent as much time with me as she did with her brother. It’s not that we didn’t get at the deeper things, we did. I didn’t hold much back from him, and from what I could tell he didn’t either. He knew my hopes and fears, and I knew his, but things were sandwiched between smiles and laughter, and a contentment I’d never known before.
I was reflecting on how easily we moved together as we laid out in the hammock he’d put up on my porch for me. It was cool out, so we were curled up under a blanket. There really wasn't a more comfortable place to be.
He adjusted the blanket over us. “Hey, do you have plans tomorrow afternoon?”
“No. I don’t think so.” It was Saturday, which meant I wasn’t due at the Museum the next day. If it weren’t for the volunteering all of my days would have blurred together. Although I’d never realized it before, I needed to have some sort of structure in my life.
“Any interest in having plans?” He watched me. Almost nervously. That made me nervous. I had no idea what was going on. He normally just made suggestions. What was all of this preamble about?
“Should I?”
“Jaylin wants to have an informal concert at the house. She’s starting to get there with those violin lessons. Just the basics of course.”
“Oh. Cool. You think she’d want me there?” I didn’t want to intrude if it was a family activity or something.
“I know it. She specifically asked me to invite you. And I want you there too.” He shifted onto his side so his face was close to mine. “Plus, my mom has been begging to meet you.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t expected that part. There it was. The reason for his nerves.
“Don’t worry. It’s not because of anything I said. It’s all Jaylin.” He was almost too quick to add the reassurance. Was this some sort of meet the parents sort of thing?
Either way I was going. “Sure. If you think your mom won’t mind the company.”
“I am positive she won’t. Jaylin ran it by her, and she thought it was a great idea.”
“Okay… if you think so.” If he didn’t think it was a big deal, then I would play along with that.
“And you don’t have to be nervous. My mom is super nice.”
“So I’ve heard.”
He smiled. “Getting used to small town living yet?”
“Mostly. It’s growing on me.” I thought it might feel stifling, but I didn’t feel that way at all. I loved walking into a restaurant and not having to actually tell the server what I wanted.
“It’s funny. I can’t even imagine you living the city life.”
“Really?”
“I mean I guess I could in the beginning, but you fit in so well here.” He wrapped me up tighter in his arms.
“Thanks… I guess.”
“You guess?” He wrapped his hand around mine.
“I assume that is meant to be a compliment?”
“Of course it is.” He kissed my hand. “What else could it mean?”
“Ok. just checking.”
* * *
“So you’re the famous Brooke?” His mother, Angela, pulled me into a warm hug as soon as we stepped inside her two-story brick home.
I hugged her back for a moment. “I’m not sure about the famous part, but I am Brooke.”
She laughed. “Nice sense of humor. I can see why Logan likes you.”
“He probably wouldn’t agree.” If she only knew that out first walk together was under the auspices of him teaching me how to take a joke. That hadn’t been all that long ago, but I’d been in such a different state of mind.
“On the contrary, I know he likes you. I’m his mother. I know these things.” She tapped her temple.
“Oh. I meant the sense of humor, but I’m glad you feel that way. I really like him, too.” I probably sounded incredibly lame. It had been a really long time since I’d had to meet a boyfriend’s mother.
“What makes you say that?”
“Long story.”
“How about we take some coffees out onto the porch and talk about it. Logan did say you liked coffee.”
“Yes. I definitely do.”
“Logan, why don’t you check on Jaylin?” Her tone of voice said it all. She wasn’t asking.
“See you two later.” He winked before walking out of the room.
Angela and I sat out on the deck. It was nice sitting in the late afternoon sun, and sipping coffee made it pretty perfect. “Thanks for inviting me today. I’m excited to hear Jaylin play.”
“Of course. I would have done it sooner, but Logan wanted me to wait.”
“Oh. I totally get that.”
“I’m not sure that you do.” Angela set her coffee cup down. “He wasn’t trying to keep you away from me. But me from you. I think he was afraid I’d scare you off.”
“How could you do that?” I wasn’t sure what he’d told his mother about us, so I needed to be very careful with everything I said.
“I don’t know exactly. Logan seems to think you’re afraid of many things rig
ht now.”
“Which isn’t so far from the truth, but I’m getting better.”
“I hope it’s okay, but he told me we have some things in common.”
“Yes. It’s totally fine. And I’m so sorry. Knowing how much it hurts after a few years, I can even imagine what that’s like after thirty…” I was feeling so much better now, and I wondered if she’d get that kind of relief soon.
“It’s hard anytime it happens.” She wrapped her hands around her coffee cup. “And in some ways it’s easier because I have my kids. It makes it harder to have regrets.”
“Maybe you don’t regret marrying him in the first place, but what about after Jaylin was born. The last ten years?” Maybe I was getting to personal, being too pushy. But she was the one who broached the subject.
“And Jaylin had ten years with an intact family. She has happy memories from them. I can’t regret that.”
“I have nothing but regrets for my ex.”
“Except you wouldn’t be the person you are today without that experience. And you wouldn’t be the person you are going to become. I know right now you can’t see it, but it’s going to happen.”
“And you know this how?” I hoped I wasn’t coming across as disrespectful, but she was also new at this whole left by the husband thing.
“Because that’s what life does. It throws the impossible at you. It breaks you down. But it’s only when you are broken down that you can gain the strength to get back up. And once you have that strength you hold onto it, and it seeps into every part of your life.”
“I sure hope you are right.”
“Can’t you see signs of it already?” She folded her hands and placed them between us on the table. “We don’t know each other well, but am I right that before your heart was crushed you’d have never moved somewhere like Forest Lake all alone?”
She was right. Absolutely right. I never even liked to go to the movies alone. “Very true.”
“And the willingness to make such a move shows strength. And bravery.”
“Even if I lost so much of myself.”
“But did you?” She inclined her head to the side. “What did you lose?”
Halfway Whole and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves Page 11