by Nalini Singh
Page 51
"Has it. . . your life. . . "
Wrapping an arm around her in a dominant's instinctive effort to comfort, Tai tucked her against the wild heat of his bigger body. "You know the shit me and the others pulled when we were younger. " His grin coaxed one out of her. "We weren't traumatized or stunted.
Hell, we grew up proud, and we grew up bold - we saw SnowDancer not only survive, but spit in the faces of our enemies by becoming so strong that they came to fear us. "
Lara thought back to a teenage Tai, to the hair pulling he'd incited in the maternal females and felt the knot in her abdomen unravel. "Have you spoken to Evie about what happened?" Even accepting that he'd thought about death in the abstract, facing his own would have been a harsh slap, and he needed to acknowledge that to someone.
Tai snorted. "You think she gave me a choice? Submissive, my ass. " Lara's lips twitched at the affection-laced growl, the last of her concern subsiding. She knew Evie would ensure Tai was healthy both in body and mind. "She's only like that with you, you know. " Evie was a true submissive, happy to allow Tai's wolf to take the lead. That didn't mean she didn't love him as fiercely as he loved her.
"I know - and I wouldn't have her any other way. " Arm still slung around her shoulder, Tai nuzzled a kiss into her hair. "So, can I stop hiding from you now?"
Laughing, she cupped his face and kissed him on the mouth with the easy affection of a packmate who'd played with him when he was a babe and bound up his injuries during his terrible teens.
"Smart aleck. You can walk me back to - " Breaking off, she smiled at the man who'd appeared out of the trees. "On second thought, shoo. "
"I feel so unwanted. " Waving a quick hello at Walker with that laughing statement, he rose and jogged off toward the den.
"This is a nice surprise," Lara said as her mate took Tai's place beside her, his denim-covered thigh pressing against her own.
Quivering with happiness, her wolf tried to nuzzle at Walker, its fur rubbing against the inside of her skin.
"I only have five minutes. " Closing his hand over hers, he brought her knuckles up to his mouth, the unexpected caress making her breath catch. "I saw you kiss Tai. "
She angled her head at the edgy comment. "You've been in the pack for years. You know how affectionate we are. "
"You didn't belong to me before. " Lara's first instinct was to laugh, tease him about his unwarranted jealousy, but something in his expression made her pause, think. Touch was a precious thing to Walker, not something he shared lightly. And a kiss on the mouth. . . it was an act he only ever did with her. "I didn't know it would hurt you," she said, kissing his knuckles in turn, "and I'm so sorry it did. " He curved his hand around her thigh when she released it, squeezed.
"I'm reacting badly," he admitted.
"You're the healer, and the pack has certain rights to you. "
Wrapping her arm around his, she leaned into his body. "I could never withhold my affection," she said, hoping he would understand. "It would go against my every instinct to do so. "
"I wouldn't ever ask that of you. " It was a quiet promise, his hair lifting in the breeze as he looked down at her with those eyes the stunning shade of new leaves under sunlight. "I know who you are, Lara. It makes me proud to be your mate. "
Tears threatened. "Ditto," she said a little shakily.
Reaching out with his free hand, he brushed his thumb over her cheek.
"But. . . not on the mouth, if it's an adult male. I can't deal with that. "
The naked honesty of his request hit her right in the heart. "Only you," she promised, and it was no sacrifice.
Affection was affection. She'd find some other way to show it to adult males if needed. "Only ever you. "
Cupping her cheek, he bent his head until their foreheads touched. "I'm sorry
- I know I'm being difficult," he said, and it was a comment heavy with things unspoken.
She rubbed her nose playfully against his, refusing to allow the past to suck him under. "More than one changeling male has been known to go all growly over his mate touching another man - you're pretty reasonable in contrast. "
A single raised eyebrow that told her he didn't particularly like that description. Proven a second later by the kiss he laid on her. "I plan to be very
'reasonable' tonight," he threatened when he broke the kiss so she could gasp in a breath.
The smoldering tone made every cell in her body sit up in attention. And as he took her mouth again, she realized her complex, fascinating, addicting mate had taken down another shield, opened another door. . . invited her deeper into him.
Texture of Intimacy Chapter 4
FOUR DAYS LATER, Walker put down his end of the sofa in the family's new quarters and nodded at Judd to do the same. In spite of his brother's telekinetic power, he and the others helping with the move had done the heavy lifting manually so as to conserve Judd's psychic strength in case of an emergency.
Standing up to his full height, his brother looked around the room. "Nice. Roomier than your old quarters. " It was, to a significant extent. Had Lara been any other woman in the pack, they could've remained in the family quarters he'd previously shared with the children, but she needed to be close to the infirmary. It was as a result of that necessity that their new quarters had been organized with such speed - a construction team had torn down the walls between Lara's original spacious apartment and two other units, converting it into a place suitable for a family. A big one.
Lara had told him the entire section had been designed to be transformed in that way when the time came. "Healers always have children around them," she'd said when he commented on the increase in square footage. "Our own, adopted, packmates. . . it's a good thing you're used to that already. " She gave him a smile that came from the heart of her. "We'll probably also have the odd packmate sleeping over. You won't mind, will you?"
"No. " He knew she healed as much with her gentleness and affection as she did her abilities. It would be no hardship to have his home be a place where the pack felt welcome and loved. "Family is important to me, too. " And pack was family.
Right now, the youngest member of their immediate family was happily setting up her dollhouse in her room, while Toby was hanging some posters in his, both children being "supervised" by their new great-grandparents. Lara's mother, Aisha, had also been popping in and out as her duties permitted, always with a snack for them in hand.
Walker had never truly had a maternal figure in his life, had been the patriarch of his family since he was a young man; so at times, he found himself startled by the way Aisha related to him, treating him as he imagined she might a son. It was a strange sensation but not unwelcome, especially since Aisha never forgot he was an adult male.
Funnily enough, it was his assassin of a brother whom she treated as much younger.
"You'll make us fat," Judd commented when she appeared at the door, even as he took two peanut butter cookies from the plate she held.
Snorting, Aisha pinched at the hard muscle of Judd's biceps. "Then I'll put you on a diet. For now. . . " She gave him two more cookies before handing a couple to Walker and heading off toward the kitchen section of the open-plan living/dining area. "Toby! Marlee! Cookies on the counter. "
Judd grinned as the kids called out their delighted thanks. "Can I adopt you as my grandmother, too?"
That got him a slap on the back of the head as Aisha walked out of the apartment. "Call me old and live to regret it, boyo. "
Laughing, his brother rubbed at his head. Walker felt his cheeks crease.
Lara and Brenna entered the apartment seconds after Aisha's departure, both carrying boxes filled with the last of the clothing from the old apartment. Walker's heart ached at the sight of Lara's smile, her curls - tied with a fine silk scarf in emerald green -
shining under the simulated sunlight of the den. His mate. Who seemed not to care t
hat he wasn't like the changeling males she'd grown up with, would never be like them, no matter how long he lived out of the PsyNet.
Yet. . . part of him remained wary, watchful for any sign that she was unhappy in this relationship. He knew that part had been born in the decades in which joy had been a mirage, survival his only focus, but he couldn't erase it, couldn't reform himself into some other, better man.
Lara's eyes met his at that instant, a frown between her brows. Crossing the room, she rose up on tiptoe to brush her lips against his, saying, "I adore who you are, Walker Lauren," as if she'd heard his thoughts.
Cupping the side of her neck, he slanted his lips over her own, drenched himself in the taste of her, this woman who saw pieces of him he'd long forgotten existed.
"Hold that thought. " A husky command from his mate before she disappeared into the master bedroom with Brenna.
Turning, Walker found himself being watched by eyes of gold-flecked brown. "Mating's good for you," Judd said, his expression shifting to betray a deep vein of emotion. I'm alive to love Brenna because of you. And it always seemed grossly unfair that you didn't have the same kind of love in your life.
Walker had never known his brother felt that way. Until Lara, I didn't comprehend the lack. The safety of his family had been his sole concern.
Judd's clear telepathic voice appeared once again in his mind. Aden says knowing we made it, have lives, gives him hope, though he doesn't use that word. I don't know if he even understands it. Judd went silent until they'd finished repositioning the dining table. It may sound cruel, but I'm glad he doesn't understand what it's like to have what I have with Brenna, you with Lara.
Walker thought of the life Aden lived, a life that had once been Judd's.
You think the knowledge would drive him mad?
Wouldn't it have done that to us?
To know exactly how much we could never touch?