“To do what?” Liz asked for him because Jake’s voice was gone.
“Well, Dr. Bjorn came to drop off Jake’s records, and Dr. Melody and Carla are both still here. They’ve been doing some other testing.” Mrs. McLaughlin pleaded with them with her eyes. “I know this is sudden, and I really wouldn’t do it if they hadn’t just shown up.”
True he wanted to run, but the greater truth was, he wanted to get this over with. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Mrs. McLaughlin looked at him unsure she had heard the word correctly.
“Yeah.” He nodded and shrugged. “Okay. It’s cool.”
“Fabulous. Let me get everyone and we can go to the conference room.”
When she was gone to get the others, Liz looked up at him and smiled a smile of soft hope and awe. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
“I’m sorry. Did I miss you slipping and hitting your head on the way over here?” Humor seemed the best route. Everything else just looked like sheer terror.
“I’m being serious, Jake. I’m proud of you.” And she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed. “And if you’re real lucky, I’ll show you how much later.”
“Hmm.” He bent and tweaked her nose with his. “It’s a date.”
“Hm.” Mrs. McLaughlin was back, and they broke but didn’t let go. “We’re ready.”
Ready had always seemed such a nice word. So innocent and benign. Your table is ready. Your steak is ready. Today it was anything but.
Still, clinging to Liz’s hand, Jake followed her, praying he would make it out of here in one piece. In the room, which was only barely medium-sized with a six-seat table in the middle, Jake pulled her chair out and followed her down. Immediately she put her hand back on his knee, and he put his arm around her chair back willing himself not to be sick right there.
“First, I want to thank you all for coming,” Mrs. McLaughlin said. “I had scheduled to do this in January, but with you all here... Well.” She looked down at her notes. “Dr. Bjorn, would you like to start?”
The short half-bald, half-grey-haired man stood and shuffled the papers in front of him. “I happened to have a small light board in my car.” He pulled the thing up and plugged it in before flipping on the light.
Liz dragged in a breath. It was something to look at X-rays with. She glanced back at Jake who looked positively ashen.
Dr. Bjorn attached one X-ray and then another to the thing. “Now, over here we have the primary visual cortex. And here, you will notice a slight imbalance between the left and right hemispheres. This is very common in a case where a disruption in the optical system has taken place. Basically without putting too fine a point on it, the right brain or creative side, has had to shoulder more of the load from the left side, the side that decodes.”
“Is...” From behind her, Jake cleared his throat, and she jerked around to look at him. “Is that really my brain?”
With soft eyes, Dr. Bjorn looked at him. “Yes, Jake it is.”
“Are..?” He sounded so shaky and unsure. “Are you sure?”
Terror traced across Liz’s heart. They had come so far. Surely he wouldn’t run now. She glanced around the table only to be met with three very compassionate faces. They all seemed to say they understood completely. But she didn’t, and she was worried.
“Yes. I’m very sure.”
“Jake?” Liz turned to him and laid her hand on his thigh, willing him to look at her and be all right.
“I...” Jake’s gaze fell between them. “I just... I always thought... there would be something... missing.”
Her heart fell at the hopelessness in his voice. “Oh, Jake. Sweetheart.” And he collapsed forward as she turned fully and caught him coming forward. She understood the tears. He had been wounded so deeply. It just surprised her that he would let them fall here.
“It’s not an unusual reaction,” Dr. Bjorn said softly with almost a hint of a smile. “Many people just like you have assumed the very same thing. But it is not true. There are some things in your brain that are not functioning quite the way they should be, but your brain is no different than any of ours in this room.”
Jake pulled up, blinked at the tears, and shook his head. Then he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“No. No. Please,” Dr. Bjorn said. “By all means, this is very important, life-changing news. I think we would all be quite moved by it.”
Another nod, and Jake sniffed the tears away. “I’m sorry, Doctor. Please continue.”
Even as Liz returned her attention to the good doctor, she kept one eye and all of her heart on Jake. Every thought was a prayer, and every prayer a plea. God, he has so much to give. Please help them help him.
There were so many, many terms that Jake did not grasp. Optical this and lateral that. But what he was coming to grips with as each person talked was the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t broken forever.
“You can see here,” Carla said, sliding her pen across the page of jerky, jagged lines, “when he gets to the end of the line, his eyes don’t quite get all the way to the end, and then when they come back to the left, well, they’re all over the place for a second or two. Then all the way across the line, they go forward and then backward, forward and backward. When ideally, they should sweep across the words forward and forward and forward.”
“This is fascinating,” Mrs. McLaughlin said. “I’ve seen this even with students who have been with us for a while. They will go back over words they have already read or skip words at the end of the line or the beginning.”
Carla nodded. “Very common. They also tend to skip over words in the middle of the sentence.”
“Exactly!” And it wasn’t hard to hear the excitement from Mrs. McLaughlin. When she looked at him, she beamed. Then she looked back at Carla. “And can anyone do the therapy for this? Young? Old? What’s the oldest you’ve ever treated successfully?”
“Well, we do things differently for older patients,” Dr. Melody cut in. “Most of them have jobs and lives.” She smiled at Jake. “We understand that. With younger children, we like to see them at least once a week for an hour long in-house therapy session. For older patients like Jake, we can do twice a month or even monthly depending on his schedule and how well he can do the at-home therapy.”
“So, this is more than doing a few sessions?” Mrs. McLaughlin asked.
“Yes. We like to give it six full months.” Dr. Melody shifted in her chair and laid her hands on the table. “Think of it this way. The eyes are a muscle just like your arm.” She curled her fist and showed her arm muscle though it was covered with her navy jacket. “You wouldn’t think of sending someone to the gym once a week for an hour and believe they would be able to lift 50 pounds in two weeks. Instead, what you would do is send them every day for a few minutes— 15, 20. Have them start with small weights and gradually work up to the bigger weights over the course of several months. This is the same principle. We are working on strengthening the eye muscles and stretching the connections so that side-to-side is not a problem and eye control and teaming are no longer a problem either.”
“So when do you think we should start our part of the process?” Mrs. McLaughlin asked.
Dr. Melody looked to Carla. “We’ve talked about this, and we’d like you to give us two full months. You’ve done all of your testing of his reading level?”
“Yes,” Mrs. McLaughlin said.
“Great. Then I say we make today Day One and see where we are with things in two months’ time.”
“Very good,” Mrs. McLaughlin said, and then she seemed to remember she wasn’t the only one making the decision. “So how does that sound to you, Jake?”
What could he say? “Let’s go for it.”
By the time they left the center, Jake looked positively exhausted.
“So what do you think for supper?” Liz asked as they made their way back to her apartment through the bleak evening.
“How about a pillow and a blan
ket?” He let out a breath. “Wow. That was rough.”
Worry for him broke over her. “I could tell. Are you okay?”
“Other than feeling like I just got hit with a truck? Yeah. Peachy.” He was holding her hand, not clinging any more. Just holding as they walked.
They walked ten more steps before she got up the courage to ask more.
“So what do you think?”
“About?”
“The stuff. The therapy and all of it.”
He sighed long and slow. “I want to say we’re onto something, but it’s so hard to think it could ever really get any better.”
“But it all fits, don’t you think? I mean the brain scans and how the optical system isn’t working right and everything. And every time you finished a test, you could just so tell your eyes were killing you.”
“Yeah, they haven’t watered like that in a long time.”
“But they used to?”
“Oh, yeah. When I was younger, I can remember thinking to myself when Mom was trying to help me, ‘Stop! Can’t we just stop already?’”
Step. Step. Step. And Liz yanked courage up by the throat. “So what would your mom say... about all of this?”
He thought through the question and swiped at his nose. “I know what my dad would say. ‘Sounds like a big waste of time and money to me.’”
The taunt hurt her heart, and she shook her head. “He’s wrong, Jake. You know that, right?”
His gaze came over to hers. “Do I?”
Anger and concern crashed into her. “I don’t know. Do you?”
More steps. More silence. Her heart started to pound so hard that it hurt.
Closing his eyes, he shook his head. “I’d like to say I don’t believe him, but parts of me... well... sometimes...”
She took a deep breath and steadied herself and her words. “This isn’t like all the other times, Jake. I can feel it. I know it. God is doing something here, something really special. None of this is random. None of it. But you’re going to have to let go and trust.”
His laugh sounded closer to a cry. “Well, that’s easier said than done.”
“But God loves you, Jake. Do you know how I know?” There was something of a smile glinting through the question.
“How’s that?”
“Because.” With his hand in hers, she lifted her left hand so he could see the diamond. “For a long time, today would have sent me running for the hills. But I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. With you. So what do you have to say about that?”
A step and he reached over and swept her up and off her feet, swinging her around in his arms and nearly up to his shoulder.
“Jaaake!”
When he set her back down after the impromptu ride, she swatted his arm, but he just grinned at her as he held her there on the sidewalk.
“Well, you asked.” Amusement glinted in his eyes.
She smiled up at him. “That I did.”
And as easy as that, he bent to kiss her right there in the middle of the New York sidewalk.
Chapter 20
It was day number 5 of the first 60 days of the rest of his life. That’s how Jake had come to think of life, and it was good. He was working toward something— finally. Not just spinning his wheels as he had for so very long. He couldn’t wait to get to her place after work. He’d already done the home therapy that morning, but he wasn’t taking any chances. They said at least once a day, but he figured twice wouldn’t hurt. Besides, it was easy— following that pencil back and forth and memorizing a few presidents in order from silly drawings.
He could already say the first five, and tomorrow they would add the next five. Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe... He could even “see” the pictures in his mind which was truly cool as the slate there had been blank for so long he didn’t even know it was there.
Sitting down at the lunch table, he pulled out his sandwich not really thinking about much else than her and life. Funny how even simple things like sandwiches tasted better now. He smiled at that thought in his heart and then on his lips. So very much had changed, but the biggest change of all was how he felt about himself and about life. Bowing his head, he said a humble and grateful thanks to God, having never meant any words more.
“This seat taken?” Arnold asked, suddenly standing there like a kid who didn’t want to be in the principal’s office when Jake looked up.
Jake shrugged. No one stood on protocol around here. “Sure. Have at it.”
Arnold sat down slowly, with the movements of an old man though he couldn’t be more than 55. Just as slowly he unwrapped his own sandwich as Jake picked up a chip and ate it. The silence growing between them was making him squirm. He and Arnold had never been friends. Didn’t even acknowledge one another on the docks when their paths happened to cross. So this strange connective behavior worried him.
Like a flash in his brain, he saw Jasmine leap into a burning building and the figure he had come to know so well over the past few nights follow her in. Where were they going? Who was in trouble now?
“Hm.” Arnold cleared his throat although his gaze was on his sandwich. “You said the other day something about some testing at the college.”
Jake’s heart snagged and held there. “Yeah.” He ate another chip, praying as hard as he could for help with whatever he’d just stepped into.
Arnold nodded just as slowly as he was doing everything else. “So do they let anybody do that testing?”
“Oh, uh....” He hadn’t thought to ask. “I don’t... I don’t know. It’s a new program. A new thing they’re trying. I’m kinda their human guinea pig.”
“Oh, yeah? How so?” Now Arnold was looking at him, and that was worse. Much worse.
He felt so exposed, like one more word and everyone on the whole docks would be lined up laughing at him. He swallowed. “Well, it’s kind of hard to explain. I mean, they use a lot of big words I don’t really understand.”
Arnold had his head down again as if he wasn’t even listening, but he was nodding as he chewed.
Oh, Lord, seriously. I do not want to do this. He’s going to start laughing at me any second. I just know it. Jake jerked his gaze first one way and then the other before taking a hard breath. “It apparently has something to do with my eyes.”
“Your eyes? I didn’t know you wore glasses.”
“I don’t. It’s different than that.” Who was he to say this? He wasn’t an expert. He was just Jake. What did he know? “It’s... when I read or do close work, my eyes like... shake. They don’t work together very well. It’s kinda like they’re weak.”
Digging between his teeth with his tongue, Arnold scrunched his face. “And that makes it so you can’t read?”
“Apparently. So we’re working on them— my eyes, doing therapy at night and stuff.”
“What kind of therapy?”
Others walked in, and the conversation stopped. However, they chose another table, and after a minute and modulating his voice downward, Jake continued. “It’s actually pretty simple really, like following this pencil all around and memorizing some pictures.”
“And this is going to help you read?” There was no disguising the skepticism in Arnold’s voice.
“I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.”
“Want me to help?” Liz asked, coming from the kitchen after checking on supper. They were having actual baked chicken tonight, and she definitely didn’t want to ruin it.
“Ugh.” Jake pitched the pencil down onto the coffee table, blinked, and rubbed his eyes as he sat back into the couch cushions. “You really wouldn’t think it would be this bad.”
She went all the way around the couch and sat on the coffee table where she folded her legs under her and picked up the pencil. “Here.”
With only a touch of reluctance, he pulled himself back up to try to watch the tiny instrument of extreme torture. It was harder when she did it. Much harder. She went farther to the sides
and held it there a lot longer.
“Ready?” she asked, shifting and then settling in.
“I guess so.” He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, holding his concentration on the pink end of the pencil. It was crazy how difficult such a simple thing could be.
Even from a foot away, Liz could tell how much concentration the seemingly simple task took him. She did just as Carla had taught her. Side to side slowly, but always going farther than it looked like he could go. Back and forth. Back and forth. Three times and then four, and then before she could go diagonal, he backed up blinking. If it could be called that. It was more squeezing his eyes closed and rubbing them as if he could pull them from his skull.
“You okay?”
The blinking continued, ending with a squint, a grimace, and a sniff. “Yeah.”
She hated torturing him like this. “You want me to finish it?”
He only nodded with grim-faced determination. He sat forward again, and his gaze found and then followed the eraser end as it went up, then down, side-to-side and then in diagonals. She counted slowly in her mind so she wouldn’t go too fast. Another set, and they were done. Jake collapsed backward onto the cushions, squeezing his eyes closed, pinching the bride of his nose, and shaking his head.
“You’re getting better at that,” she said. “You can go a lot farther to the sides now.”
“That’s encouraging. At least I’m not completely wasting my time and yours.”
“Hey,” she said with a smirk, “what else do we have to do, right?”
Sitting up, he slid his hands to either side of her thighs and met her smirk with a grin of his own. “Well, I could think of a few things.”
“Oh, really?” She leaned toward him. “So can I. Like the pigeon walk.”
His shoulders fell forward, and he followed them right into her arms as if he couldn’t go another step. “You’re killing me, you know that?”
Trying to pick him up and get him righted, she pushed him up with her shoulders and arms. “Come on. Supper’s going to be ready in like ten minutes.”
More Than This: Contemporary Christian Romance Novel Page 34