by Ashley Jade
Maybe that was what I needed.
In fact...maybe that was the reason for my encounter with Tristan in the first place.
It's not like I would run into him there.
New York City was huge. It would be insanely easy to avoid him.
I already had enough money saved in my bank account to find a cheap place and live off of that for a few months of my self discovery.
I shake the thought out of my head as I bring myself back down to reality.
I can't go to New York.
I wouldn't even know what I would do there in the first place.
That's the point Dev.
I can't stop the nagging thoughts going through my head.
Maybe, I could finally find them?
According to my birth certificate...I was born there.
What better place to find myself...find them.
Would it really be worth giving up everything I worked so hard for?
I was a grown woman. Not some lost 18 year old.
It would be careless and irresponsible to just take off.
Especially without any kind of plan for my life.
Nope...it would make absolutely no sense for me to go to New York.
The sound of my pager going off interrupts my thoughts.
Shit...code red.
I sprint off and try to stuff down the pang of despair that courses through my body.
Chapter 7
4 weeks later and it was only getting harder not to fall apart every single day that passed.
I was slowly suffocating.
I was beyond miserable and I didn't know how to fix myself.
Even going out on the rooftop every night wasn't enough for me anymore.
I needed a change.
I packed up my belongings and purchased a plane ticket for New York.
I put in my two weeks notice at the hospital.
Since I didn't have any friends...it was easy not to let anyone know where it was that I was headed.
Or my reasons for leaving.
My last shift was scheduled for New Years Eve night.
The irony.
The hospital was so swamped it was easy to stay focused.
“Dev. I'm sorry but they really need coverage in the ER,” my nurse manager says as I finish medicating my last patient.
“Okay. No problem. I'll head over there now.”
I cuss under my breath as I head toward the elevators.
The ER was going to be a mad house tonight.
Needless to say...I wasn't looking forward to it.
I was also secretly hating the fact that I wouldn't be finishing up my last shift on the psych unit.
I was going to miss my patient’s.
In fact...I was starting to have second thoughts about leaving altogether.
I make my way to the ER and jump into action.
My first two patient’s consist of a broken nose from a bar fight and a case of alcohol poisoning.
Clearly...it was New Years Eve.
I hear the sound of my pager go off.
Code Blue...Shit.
I sprint down the hall and meet the rest of the team.
“The helicopter just landed. We need to be as discreet and as thorough as possible. It's Mr. Blake again. It appears that he's suffered another stroke. It's bad. He already coded in route to the hospital. His son is on his way,” the doctor says as we wait by the doors.
My stomach drops at the news...but I don't have time to focus on my feelings right now.
A moment later the doors burst open and we go to work on Mr. Blake.
“1 mg epinephrine IV push stat,” the doctor calls out.
I quickly prepare the dose and inject it.
“We're losing him. Get the defibrillator. 200 joules. Ready...Clear!” the doctor yells as I back up.
“Okay. We got a pulse.”
Everyone in the room breathes a sigh of relief.
I glance out the glass window of the room and almost pass out.
There is Tristan...dressed like a million bucks.
He had obviously been out celebrating for the evening.
His eyes meet mine. He looks both sorrowful and scared. It breaks my heart.
I mouth the words “We got a pulse,” and give him a smile.
He smiles back at me as all the worry washes away from his face.
Just as I’m about to step out of the room to greet him...a blonde woman wearing a slinky dress comes into view and wraps her arms around him.
Then...she kisses him.
I fight the pang of jealousy that comes over me.
There’s no reason for me to be feeling that way.
I hadn't seen or heard from him in weeks.
I wanted it that way...and so did he.
I turn around and focus my attention back to Mr. Blake...like I should be.
“He's stable for now. I'm going to have him transferred to the ICU,” the doctor says before he leaves the room.
I check Mr. Blake's vitals again.
I feel Tristan's eyes burning holes into me the entire time.
I ignore him while I wait for transport.
A moment later the transport team arrives and I step out of the room.
I walk over to Tristan and slinky dress.
I purposely avoid eye contact and try to remain as professional as I can.
“He's being transferred to the ICU. His vitals are stable for now. He'll be in room 8. They're taking him there now if you want to follow."
I turn on my heels and head back down the hallway.
“Dev wait up,” Tristan says as he catches up to me.
“Sorry, I can't. It's really busy tonight. You need to be with your father right now.”
He reaches for my hand and spins me around.
“Look, I didn't mean for you to see what you did before...” he starts to say before I cut him off.
“You don't owe me any explanations Tristan. There is nothing between us. I have to go.”
“Come quick. Code Blue!” the transport team shouts.
I run down the hall and back to Mr. Blake.
“300 joules. Ready...clear!” the doctor yells as everyone backs up.
“Shit. We’re losing him. Let's do it again. Clear!”
“Okay he's got a pulse...but a faint one. Transport him to ICU. Dev...run up to ICU and make sure they're caught up to speed on everything," the doctor says.
I nod my head before I walk out of the room.
********************
Four hours and another code blue later...Mr. Blake is declared brain dead.
I hold Mr. Blake's hand as the doctor goes to find Tristan.
It seemed like the right thing to do.
I can't help but let a tear roll down my cheek as I pat his hand and say goodbye.
It was time for me to leave.
My last shift at New England General Hospital was officially over.
I still had one more place to visit before I left for good.
Chapter 8
I climb the 20 flights of stairs for the last time and make my way to the rooftop.
I walk over to the ledge and look down.
The view is absolutely breathtaking.
The light sprinkle of snow makes everything appear so calm and serene.
I look down at my watch, 11:45pm.
Only fifteen more minutes until the new year.
Only fifteen more minutes...and my new life would start.
I close my eyes and breathe in the crisp air before a voice interrupts me.
“We have to stop meeting like this darlin'.”
I should have known.
I turn around as Tristan walks toward me.
Only, his movements don't appear as smooth as they usually are.
Then...I noticed the bottle in his hand.
“You've been drinking.”
“Why yes nurse...you really don't miss a thing,” he replies before he tosses the bottle off the roof.
“Tristan are you crazy? You could hurt someone,” I shout.
He shrugs and laughs. “They'll be near a hospital.”
I roll my eyes, reach for his hand, and walk us to the door.
“Come on Tristan. This isn't going to help you get through this. I'll find you a private bed somewhere and you can sleep it off.”
“Well, thank you nurse. I sure like the sound of that. Anything that involves the word bed coming out of your mouth sounds good to me," he says before he presses me up against the door.
“Stop Tristan. Let's go.”
He sighs and backs away from me.
Then, he slumps against the wall beside me and sits down with his head in his hands.
It was weird to see him so vulnerable.
I certainly didn't want to leave him alone in this state.
I decide to sit down next to him.
“I'm sorry Dev. I was out of line. I don't know where the fuck my head is right now,” he says as he lifts his head back up and looks at me.
“I understand. Getting drunk on the rooftop of your fathers hospital won't solve anything though.”
“I know. I just needed the escape I guess. I don't know what I'm going to do. There's so much shit to sort out, so much to do. So many decisions to make. So much to process."
I reach for his hand and give it a squeeze.
“You don't have to do any of that right now Tristan. No one should be forcing you to make any major decisions...especially right now. Take it one step at a time. This is a lot to take in. Just breathe.”
He gives me an odd look. “Thank you Dev. I really appreciate you saying that. I'm sorry I've ruined your evening. I'm sorry I ruined your New Years,” he says as he glances at his watch.
“You didn't ruin my evening Tristan. Its not like I had any big plans after my shift.”
I was suddenly fighting the urge to come clean and tell him about leaving for New York.
“Well...it looks like I'm going to be hanging around here for a little while. Maybe you'll finally reconsider things about us," he says as he tilts my chin up to look at him.
Shit.
“Tristan I don't think that's a good idea. I think we should just be friends. I'm sorry.”
“I don't think I've ever been turned down before. I can't say that I like it,” he says while giving me a sexy smile.
I giggle as I stand up and extend my hand out to him.
He raises his brow as he takes my hand and stands up.
God, even drunk and disheveled he still looks sexy as hell.
I bite my lip and look at the floor.
If I stared at him any longer...I was going to cave.
He’s just too irresistible.
As if on cue...he leans in closer to me.
“You know...everyone deserves a kiss on New Years Eve,” he says as he brushes his thumb along my bottom lip.
“What about slinky dress? I'm pretty sure she gave you a new years kiss earlier,” I say, my tone dripping with a lot more venom then I had intended.
He tilts his lips toward my ear. “Put the claws away and play nice darlin'. You already know damn well who it is that I really want. You can't fight this thing between us anymore then I can Dev. So just stop,” he whispers, turning me to putty in his arms.
Everything begins spinning and I have to lean against the wall for support.
I should be repulsed by him. I shouldn't want to kiss him.
Especially after witnessing him kiss some other woman only hours earlier.
Or rather...witnessing her kiss him.
He was right about one thing though. I couldn't fight the spark or whatever it was between us.
I’m defenseless in his presence.
If he managed to make me feel like this just by standing this close to him. I couldn't even imagine what having sex with him would be like.
I would probably spontaneously combust.
He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are Dev? Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
I didn't...but a big part of me would give just about anything to find out.
Against my better judgment, I close my eyes and press my lips to his.
He responds by parting my lips and finding my tongue.
He lets out a growl as he pushes himself against me and cups my breasts through the fabric of my shirt.
Between his lips, his touch, and the feeling of his very impressive erection through his pants...I feel myself begin to come undone.
His fingers brush across my abdomen as he reaches for the drawstring to my scrubs.
I gasp as his fingers graze along my panties...which were now thoroughly soaked.
I fight for air as he teases me through the light fabric before his finger plunges deep inside me.
“Oh god...Tristan,” I breathe, as his finger makes its way up to my bundle of nerves and I moan.
“That's it baby...let me feel you come for me,” he groans as he increases his friction and I begin to pant.
I close my eyes and fight the urge to tell him that I’m moving away in just a few short hours.
This isn’t right. He had a right to know.
He had a right to know everything.
“Tristan. I really have to tell you something,” I sigh as his middle finger dives deep inside me and his thumb flicks over my clit.
Goddammit...he's too talented.
“Shh, it can wait,” he whispers, as I feel the last of my resolve begin to fade.
I come so hard I tremble as I shout his name.
“That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen,” Tristan says as he nuzzles my neck.
“I'm moving Tristan. My plane leaves in about three hours. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.”
His expression changes from one of pure arousal to pure shock.
“What? You're telling me this...now?” he barks as he promptly removes his hand from my pants.
I reach down and re-tie the drawstring to my scrubs and fix my top. “I'm sorry. I know its horrible timing. It's just something I really need to do.”
“Well...where are you going?”
I take a deep breath before I answer. “California.”
Something tells me that if he knew I was in New York he would come looking for me.
As usual...I wouldn't be able to resist him.
I would never be able to find myself or deal with my past with him around.
He was just too much of a distraction.
He was just too much...period.
Besides...he would obviously be staying in New England for awhile now anyway.
The timing was perfect.
His expression’s unreadable before he speaks. “I don't think you should go. Stay Dev. Stay here...with me.”
That was the last thing I ever expected him to say.
“You know...you are the most confusing man I've ever met. First, you tell me I should leave and discover myself. Now...you're telling me that I should stay and be with you. What the hell Tristan? You hardly even know me and you're trying to dictate every move I make. That might work with slinky dress or whoever, but that won't work with me. I'm sorry, but I'm leaving Tristan. You can't stop me.”
I was ready for him to start protesting, but he stays silent.
This wasn't how I wanted to leave things between us...but it was for the best.
“Goodbye Tristan,” I say as I open the door and walk down the stairs.
Chapter 9
A little over a month later and I had no leads when it came to finding my birth parents.
Social services was of no help.
They claimed that they didn't have any records on me.
So...I gave them the names and locations of my two foster families.
They claimed that they weren't in the system.
It was beyond strange...and heartbreaking.
The hospital was even less help. They didn't have any records on me either.
I was a complete enigma and it only made me feel that much more alone and sad.
I walked through the city streets and tried not to give into despair.
Leaving New England was a big mistake after all.
I needed something to clear my head.
I pass by a sign for an art gallery and decide to check it out.
The place was pretty empty, but I looked around anyway.
The first few paintings were typical...but nothing really caught my eye.
I turn a corner and was immediately captivated.
I've never seen so much emotion captured in a single painting before.
Whoever the artist was sure had talent.
The colors, the contrast...everything about it drew me in.
“Are you looking to purchase?” a voice calls out, interrupting my thoughts.
I turn around to face the most impeccably dressed man I had ever seen in my life...even more then Tristan.
Hell...even his blonde hair had the perfect amount of highlights in it.
He was beautiful.
“How much is it?”
“$35,000 dollars,” he replies.
I try to hide my look of shock.
“I'm sorry. I mean, it's amazing...but I don't have that kind of money. However, if you know the artist...please let them know they have a new fan. This is the most incredible painting I've ever seen in my life."
He gives me a huge smile and sticks out his hand.
“Aaron Tye...nice to meet you.”
I shake his hand. “I'm Dev...nice to meet you too.”
“It's not everyday that I get to meet a new fan of my work. I'm glad you appreciate it Dev.”
My mouth drops open. “You're the artist? Wow...this is amazing,” I say in awe.
“Everything in this gallery is my work...but this one holds a special meaning for me. That's why it's so expensive. I can't just sell it to anyone. It has to be the right someone."