by Ashley Jade
I snort. “Stop reading those trashy romance novels Aaron. There's nothing sweet about being held against your will. Trust me.”
I close my eyes and fight the overwhelming stab of agony in my heart at the thought.
Aaron rests his head on my shoulder. “Look, I'm on your side Dev...always. I just want you to be happy. It's obvious that Tristan made you happy.”
“He did make me happy...then he changed.”
Just like Alex did.
*************************
I left Aaron's and walked home. The warm spring weather was officially here.
I watched as couples held hands and whispered sweet nothings to one another as they strolled through the city streets.
I close my eyes and force myself not to think about Tristan.
I knew not having him in my life would hurt...but I was never prepared for it to hurt this much.
I didn't know what to make of it.
We had only known one another for a few months. We were together for even less then that.
It shouldn't hurt this much.
For the first time in my life, I actually wish I was back to going through life on auto pilot.
I knew I made the right decision...I just needed my heart to start believing it.
I wipe tears from my eyes as I walk into my apartment.
I strip off my clothes and take a warm shower. I need to go to bed. All this constant moping was beyond draining.
I wrap a towel around my body and walk into my bedroom.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
There sitting on my bed was Tristan...looking just as miserable as I felt.
“What are you doing here?”
He lifts his head and looks at me. “I can't stay away from you Dev. I'm so fucking sorry that I hurt you. I was only trying to keep you safe, I swear.”
Reluctantly I meet his gaze. It was at that exact moment that it became clear why it hurt so much.
“What you did was wrong Tristan, but that's not why I was so upset. What hurt me the most was that you stopped letting me in. I didn't feel our connection anymore.”
His next statement almost knocks me on my ass.
“I didn't want you to see all the broken parts of me. I know now... that being without you, only breaks me apart further. What we have is real Dev. It's more then friendship. It's more then sex. It's more then lust or want. What we have...reaches into my very soul and makes me submit to things way beyond my control. It's the scariest thing that I've ever felt in my whole entire life.”
Holy shit. I don't know if it was the impact of his words or the fact that he was right that left me breathless.
For whatever reason, fate had decided to bring us together...and I'll be dammed if I was going to keep fighting against it.
“Promise me you won't do that to me again Tristan.”
He stands up and cups my face in his hands. “I promise. I don't want to lose you...I can't lose you. No more bullshit. You're mine and I'm yours. I'll do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”
I raise my head and kiss him. The spark that always existed between us had now turned into an inferno.
“I need you,” I whisper as I drop my towel.
“I'm all yours Dev.”
He pulls me into a warm embrace as he plants soft kisses down my neck.
“Show me Tristan...please.”
He takes a step back with a pained expression that tugs at my heartstrings.
Just as I was getting ready to tell him that he didn't have to, he takes off his shirt.
He was...well shit...he was toned and sculpted to perfection.
He had the body of an Adonis...just like I always pictured.
The only thing that came as a surprise was that he had a couple of fascinating tattoo's splashed across his chest and upper arms.
Which of course only made him that much sexier.
I didn't understand what his issue was.
“Tristan I love your tattoo's. Why did you want to hide them from me?” I ask as I trace the outline of a sparrow with a broken wing on his bicep.
Whoever the tattoo artist was sure had talent. It's like his entire body was one big art canvas.
He closes his eyes in agony.
“It’s not the tattoo's that I was hiding from you Dev,” he says before he turns around.
Oh my god.
I cover my mouth with my hands and drop to the floor.
How could someone do that to him? How could someone ever do that to another human being?
It was the most horrific thing I've ever seen...and that includes all my years as a nurse.
It was painful to look at but I couldn't let myself turn away.
All across his back where marks, scars, and burns embedded so deep in his skin it knocked the wind right out of me.
Not a single portion of his broad back was left unharmed.
Tristan wasn't just abused...he was tortured by someone.
How the hell did he ever make it out alive?
“Who did this to you?” I ask between loud sobs.
He drops down next to me on the floor. “It's not important.”
“The hell it isn't Tristan. Tell me who did this to you.”
“My father.”
I stand up and ball my fists. “I should have let him fucking die.”
I couldn't stop the rise of anger that was building up in me.
I see something odd flash across Tristan's face briefly.
“It doesn't matter Dev, it's taken care of. He's dead.”
“Is that where you went?”
He nods his head. “Yeah.”
“Oh god...Tristan...did he hurt your mother too?”
“Yes Dev...my father hurt my mother. I really don't want to talk about this though. I'm not trying distance myself from you...” he starts to say.
I pull him into a hug. “It's okay Tristan. I understand. I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry I got so angry with you. No wonder you were so scared for me. It all makes sense now. You really did have my best intentions at heart.”
He wraps his arms around me. “Dev, you have nothing to be sorry for. I just wanted to keep you safe. I will do whatever it takes to protect you.”
Chapter 23
I roll over and watch as Tristan sleeps soundly beside me.
His back is turned toward me and I can't help but plant tender kisses over all of his scars.
What kind of monster would do this to him?
I wish I could take every single ounce of pain that he ever experienced away from him and bring it on as my own.
“Stop treating me like I'm a fragile piece of glass Dev,” Tristan grunts into his pillow.
I sigh and roll my eyes.
Leave it to him to go back to being Mr. Macho after letting his guard down for one night.
“Can't I just kiss you all over because I want to?” I say as I bat my eyelashes.
He rolls over and gives me a lazy smile. “Now how can I argue with that?” he teases as he folds me in his arms and kisses my neck.
“Can we stay like this forever?” I ask as I rest my head against his chest.
“I'm counting on it,” he replies. He then lifts me up off the bed and sets me down on the floor.
“What the heck Tristan? I was comfortable.”
“Get dressed. I have plans for us today.”
I raise my eyebrow. “What kind of plans?"
“The kind that involve having lots of fun.”
I give him the sexiest wink I can muster. “Then why are we leaving the bed Tristan?"
He fixates his eyes on me and pulls me back to him. “As much as I want to bury myself deep inside you, we have to leave now so we're not late. But mark my words...I have every intention of wearing you out when we get back,” he says as he swats my behind.
I giggle as I walk over to my closet. “Are jeans okay? I mean, where are we going?”
“Jeans are perfect. It's a surprise. You won't know until we get there.”
/>
After I get dressed we walk outside.
I expected Tristan's driver to be waiting for us...however Tristan led me toward the parking garage.
We walk until he stops in front of one of the hottest cars I had ever seen in my life.
“You rented a black jaguar F type coupe convertible,” I screech.
He gives me a cocky smirk as he puts on a pair of aviator's.
“No baby. I own a black jaguar F type coupe convertible,” he pauses and eyeballs me like I’m his prey before he continues, “The fact that you know exactly what kind of car this is only makes me want to take you and bend you over the hood of it right now. So I suggest you get in before we spend the entire day in the parking garage.”
I blush as I open the door and sit down.
When we finally arrive I can hardly contain my excitement.
He took me to Coney Island.
We pay the admission. I look ahead and spot two very familiar faces.
“What are you guys doing here?” I yell as I run over to Aaron and Nathaniel.
“We were invited,” Aaron says as he nods his head toward Tristan.
“Tristan...I can't believe you did this,” I say in awe.
“I know your friends are important to you Dev. I just want to see you happy. Now lead the way,” Tristan says as he reaches for my hand.
****************************
Hours and countless laughs later we finally decide to stop and grab a bite to eat.
“By the way Dev. I'm having another art gallery showing in two weeks. I really need you there,” Aaron says.
“Fine...I suppose I can be your hag for another night. Especially since I made an unforeseen exit the first time around."
Nathaniel and Aaron laugh as Tristan gives me a curious look.
“No silly. I need you there because I'm featuring one of your paintings. I told you...you have some major talent and I think it's time the world gets to see it."
“Aaron I can't. I'm not ready,” I protest.
“You are ready Dev. Trust me.”
“Well...which painting are you featuring?”
“You'll find out when you arrive. Just wear something sexy and be ready to shine,” Aaron says as he looks down at his watch.
“Sorry honey, we've got to go. Nathaniel has a fitting with one of his new fashion models tonight.”
I look at Nathaniel and put my hand over my heart. “I'm crushed...I can't believe you're cheating on me.”
“You're still my favorite model gorgeous. Besides, you aren't half as cranky as those bitchy toothpicks are. Then again...your meals don't consist of a tic tac and a cigarette. Now wipe that mustard off your chin," he teases as Aaron and him get up from the table.
I give them both hugs as we say our goodbyes.
“Thank you for doing this Tristan. I don't even know what to say.” I smile as we walk around the park holding hands.
“You don't have to thank me Dev. I really wished you would have told me that you began painting though."
“I only did it as a way to express myself. It was never meant to be anything more then that. Aaron's the one who encouraged me to keep doing it."
“Well...I would love to see your work. Besides I could use a new tattoo anyway,” he says with a glint of humor in his eye.
“I'm really not that good. And certainly not enough to have a replica permanently tattooed on your body. "
“Wait a minute your tattoo's...are they from your mother's paintings?”
“Yes they are. I wanted a few of my favorite paintings of hers tattooed on me. It was my way of keeping her close."
I stop and pull him into an embrace. “You're amazing Tristan. She would be proud of you."
He looks away and clears his throat. “Let's go play a game...I'll win you a prize.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Ha...please, more like I'll win you a prize.”
“You're on. Now pick the game.”
I quickly look around. “That one. The water gun game. Let's go," I squeal as I lead him over to the game stand.
He gives me a mischievous grin as we take our seats.
“You don't stand a chance against me baby. I happen to be a phenomenal shooter.”
I put my hands on the trigger and give him a sinister smile. “Maybe I'm better.”
I take a deep breath and glance down.
Too close Dev...learn to shut up sometimes.
He narrows his eyes at me and laughs. “You must have forgotten...I'm from Texas darlin'."
Hmm...point taken.
The attendant sounds the alarm and the game begins.
I steady my hand and focus. A second later a winner was declared.
“In your face baby!” I scream.
The attendant gives Tristan a sheepish smile.
“Dev...I hate to break it to you but take another look,” Tristan says.
Tristan's marker was light years beyond mine. I wasn't even close.
How the heck did he manage that?
I stomp my foot on the ground. “That's not fair...I demand a rematch.”
“You're on.”
The second match went by even quicker then the first.
“This is bullshit Tristan!” I scream.
“It's okay baby. There's no harm in admitting defeat. I'm not judging.”
“Never.”
Twenty rounds later and the attendant appears to be thoroughly amused by our shenanigans.
“I can do this all night,” Tristan says as he gives me a cocky smile.
“You wanna bet?” I ask.
“Name your stakes.”
“Fine, if I win...you go on the wonder wheel with me.”
He gives me a look that tells me exactly what he thinks about that.
Part of me knows it’s wrong to exploit his fear of heights. The other part...just really wants to win.
“And when I win?” he asks.
“I'll let you take me on the hood of your jaguar.”
I ignore the look on the attendants face as I utter that statement.
He gives me a lopsided boyish grin. “I plan on doing that anyway.”
Fair enough...
“Fine...what do you want Tristan?”
“You sure you really want to know the answer to that right now?”
“Just tell me Tristan, we're wasting time.”
“Well...the lease is up on your apartment in three weeks.”
I turn my head to look at him then. “How do you know that Tristan?”
“I have my ways.”
Dear god..please don't let him ask me what I think he's about to ask me.
“So...what's your point Tristan?” I ask nervously.
His intense blue eyes meet mine. “Move in with me.”
I have to hang onto the counter to keep myself from fainting.
“Those are some pretty steep stakes Tristan.”
“I know...especially for you. Are you up for the challenge?”
Cocky bastard.
I glance down. I cannot believe he sprung this on me right now.
I need time to think. I need to breathe.
I need to tell him the truth.
I need to win this freakin' game.
“So what will it be little lady?” the attendant asks.
“Let's go.”
We both turn back around and put our hands on the trigger.
Then I had an idea.
Right before the alarm sounds for the start of the game I quickly take my water gun off the handle and drench my white t-shirt.
The attendant catches on to what I’m doing and laughs as he sounds the alarm.
“What the hell are you doing?” Tristan asks as he slides his gaze over my soaked shirt.
Needless to say...his attention wasn't focused on the game anymore.
It gives me the perfect advantage. I win the game by a landslide.
“That was a dirty trick Dev,” Tristan grumbles as he takes off his sweatshirt and pulls it over my
head.
“You know what they say...all’s fair in love and war.”
He stays silent as we walk over to the wonder wheel.
“So what exactly is it about heights that scare you so much?”
He stops walking and gives me a dirty look. “I've told you once before...I'm not scared of anything. I just don't like heights all that much."
I have to stop myself from laughing. He’s seconds away from throwing a temper tantrum.
“Fine...what is it that you don't like about heights?”
“I don't know Dev...the part that includes the possibility of falling. You know...plummeting to your death," he says as he throws his hands up in frustration.
I need to get him over his fear.
I look around the park. Hardly anyone was around.
In fact...it looked like we were going to be the only people on the ride.
The carts on the wonder wheel were a pretty decent size and well covered for the most part. It really wasn't scary at all.
The idea hits me. I know the exact way I was going to get Tristan over his fear of heights.
We walk through the gate and I pull the ride attendant to the side as Tristan sits in the cart.
One would think I was making him walk the plank with the expression on his face.
I give the attendant the sweetest smile I can conjure up. “I'm awfully sorry to bother you, but it's our anniversary today. He proposed to me right here on this very ride 5 years ago. Right at the very top. Would you mind halting us up at the top for awhile? I can make it worth your while,” I say as I hold up a fifty dollar bill.
“Sure, no problem. I have to go to the bathroom anyway. The park will be closing in 25 minutes. So you'll have until then."
I give him another smile before I walk over to Tristan and sit down.
“What was that about?” Tristan asks as he folds his arms across his chest.
“You'll see. Just sit back and relax baby.”
“Not on this hunk of junk,” he mutters under his breath as the ride begins.
When we reach the top I stand up and lean halfway out of the cart. I give a thumbs up to the attendant as Tristan tries to pull me back in.