“I don’t know. I wondered about that, too, but that’s not a battle I want to fight, and I don’t think Bert would want me to, either. He told me stories of what it was like to be a gay man when he was young, and how things had changed over the years. From what he said, Alan hated keeping their relationship a secret. He was eleven years older than Bert and had been dealing with hiding his sexuality that much longer. One day Alan said he was done hiding, and they came out together. Bert said it was the most freeing—and the scariest—thing he’d ever done, but that Alan was his rock.”
She set down the picture. “Bert was my rock, and I hate that I wasn’t there when he needed me most. He did so much for me, and I didn’t—”
Christmas lumbered in from the deck and stood beside them, his big head cocked to the side, as if he wanted to know what had made his mom so upset.
Grayson gathered Parker into his lap and pressed one hand to the back of her head, and when Christmas whimpered, he petted his head.
“He knew, baby,” he reassured her. “He knew how much you loved him, and it sounds like what you gave him was exactly what he needed. You were there to share his life. You loved him, and he loved you back.”
She nodded against his chest. “I know, but…”
Grayson took her face in his hands and wiped her tears.
“But it hurts, and you feel like you let him down. I know. I felt the same way about my mom when we lost her so unexpectedly. But they knew, baby. I’m sure of it.” He kissed her softly. “It’s okay to feel sad and even to feel like you let him down, but know in your heart that you couldn’t have done anything differently. We’re all going to die someday, which is why we live for now and we love the people we care for with all we have so they know it after we’re gone.”
“How do you do that? You always make me feel better.”
“I just tell you the truth. I wish I could make it so you’d never feel this type of pain again, but even Herculean efforts can’t do that. But I can promise you, if we’re not physically in the same place when you’re sad, or lonely, or just need me, one call is all it’ll take, and I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
“I promise you the same.”
Christmas pushed his head between them, lightening the mood and earning a few extra promises to be there for him, too.
**
PARKER FELT MUCH better after her brief cry, but she was pretty sure it had more to do with Grayson than the actual release of her tears. She decided to bring Abe the photographs and the letters, because they were rightfully his, and if they upset him, she’d simply take them back home. The normally stoic nurse was a little less rigid today, and flashed a brief, seemingly relieved, smile when they arrived.
“He’s very tired today, but I know he’d like to see you,” she said. “Please keep it brief. He hasn’t had much energy lately.”
“You go ahead,” Grayson said. “I’m going to hit the men’s room, and then I’ll be right in.”
Parker pushed the door to Abe’s room open, feeling the absence of her boyfriend’s bigger-than-life presence beside her. She looked over her shoulder and saw him speaking with the nurse, then stepped into the room. Abe’s eyes were closed, and she wondered if he was asleep, but as she came to his bedside, his eyes opened.
“She returns,” he said quietly, with a hint of his grumpy self. It was just a hint, and it made her smile, because that grumpy self was Abe.
“Hi, Abe. How are you?” She leaned in and hugged him. His skin was still ashen, and his breathing was even more labored.
“You sure do hug a lot,” he grumbled.
She could tell he was forcing the grumpiness and decided to tease him a little. “I only hug grumpy old men.”
“I think Lacroux might refute that.”
She smiled. “Yes, you’re probably right.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s in the bathroom. He’ll be in shortly.” She slid her bag from her arm to retrieve the pictures and letters. She hadn’t considered his lack of sight until now, and wondered if he could see anything at all. “I brought you a few things.”
His fingers curled around the sheets. “Why?”
“Because I’m a nice person. And because I thought you might want them. Abe, please excuse me for asking, but—”
He held up a shaky hand. “Confidence. Control. Didn’t Bert teach you anything? Don’t say excuse me for asking and then proceed to ask a question. Just ask the damn thing. Or don’t. But be confident in whatever you do.”
She was strangely pleased with the life lesson he doled out so adamantly. That had to mean he cared, at least a little. Otherwise why bother? She heard Grayson come into the room.
“Right, sorry. Abe, can you see anything at all?” She cringed inwardly at the directness of the question.
“No. And don’t get all sappy,” he said sharply. “Macular degeneration happens to old people, and it’s a blessing. I don’t have to see myself wither away.”
“Okay, no sappiness,” she said as Grayson came to her side and placed his hand on her lower back.
“Lacroux.” Abe gave a single, curt nod.
“How are you, Abe?”
“How do I look?” He waved a gnarled hand. “Don’t answer that. Tell me how Parker looks.”
Grayson’s eyes widened, and Parker was sure hers were just as big at the unexpected request.
“My pleasure.” Grayson’s eyes rolled over her face and moved slowly down her body, making the room feel a hell of a lot hotter. “Let’s see. I’m sure you don’t want to hear that she’s beautiful, because that’s too easy of an answer. Or that her blue eyes are a soft Carolina blue and her hair is the color of corn silk, fresh off the cob. You know that stringy stuff? My mother used to make us kids strip it away, but I digress.”
He paused, and she knew he was enjoying the way each description hit her square in the center of her chest, which she didn’t even try to hide.
“I’ll skip all that,” Grayson said with a grin, “and go right to the slightly embarrassed look on her face, which is quite obviously warring with the smile she can’t even begin to contain.”
“Christ,” Abe mumbled. “Carolina blue?” He shook his head. “Parker, what’d you bring me? Give me something to get the sappy taste out of my mouth.”
She and Grayson both laughed, but her heart was still racing from the things Grayson had said. The bit about his mother felt special, and when he’d said it, his eyes had warmed like it felt special to him, too.
“I brought a picture of you and Bert when you were boys. And one of the two of you with your parents.”
Abe’s eyes narrowed, but he remained silent, which Parker took as a good sign. She described the picture of Abe, Bert, and their parents.
“I remember,” he said under his breath. “Go on.”
She described what he and Bert were wearing in the picture of the two of them, and the house behind them. Abe held a shaky hand out, palm up. She and Grayson exchanged another surprised glance as she set the photograph in his palm. He held it tightly between his finger and thumb and lowered his hand back to the bed.
“We were friends, once,” he grumbled. “What else?”
She was more nervous about the letters than the pictures. “I brought Bert’s letters that you returned. I wasn’t sure if you would want them, or want me to read them to you, but they’re yours. They belong with you.”
He waved toward the bedside table. “Set them over there.”
“Okay.” She set them on the table. “Maybe I can read them to you the next time I visit.”
Abe reached a hand up and Parker took it. His skin felt like tissue paper over sharp bones, making her ache down deep.
“I want you to listen to me, Parker, because I’m only going to say this once.” His brow furrowed, and he squeezed her hand. Tears filled her eyes before he said another word, because his voice had a finality to it that cut like a knife. “Lacroux, you listening?”
“Yes, sir,
” Grayson said solemnly.
“Parker, you did what you set out to do. You should feel good about that, and I appreciate how difficult it must have been for you.”
Emotions clogged her throat, causing tears to spill down her cheeks. Grayson tucked her beneath his arm.
“Tears. Just ’cause I can’t see doesn’t mean I don’t hear. Give her a tissue, will you, Lacroux?” His sharp tone made Parker smile.
“Of course.” Grayson handed her a few tissues from the table.
“Those better be tears of joy,” Abe said with a stern voice. “You’ve got nothing to be sad about. You hear me?”
She nodded, realized he couldn’t see her, and choked out, “Yes.”
“Good, because this will be our last visit.”
“But—”
He held tightly to her hand and cut her off. “No. I’m an old man, and these visits exhaust me. You’ve got a life to live, and thanks to you I’ve got some remembering to do before I kick off for good. I’d like to do that alone, knowing you’re out there happy with your bodyguard slash boyfriend, who, I assume from his heartfelt, lovesick description, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.”
A sob escaped her. Unable to hold back, she leaned in and clung to Abe. “But I’m here for a little while longer. Can’t I come back?”
His frail arms came around her. “No, honey, you can’t.”
The endearment made her sob even harder.
“Lacroux?”
“Yes, sir?” Grayson’s voice was also thick with emotion.
“You’ll take care of her.” It wasn’t a question.
“Always.”
Parker kissed Abe’s cheek, unsure if the wetness she felt was from his tears or hers. “Thank you, Abe. I think I love you.”
“You still haven’t learned.” He huffed, but his thin lips curved up in a teasing smile that made her cry again.
She tried to square her shoulders, despite the gut-wrenching sadness of knowing this was their final goodbye, and wiped her eyes. “Confidence. Control.” Drawing in a deep breath to steady her shaky voice, she said, “I love you, Abe.”
He nodded and tightened his jaw against his trembling lower lip.
Grayson took Abe’s frail hand into his big, strong one, and the sight brought more tears to Parker.
“It was a privilege to meet you,” Grayson said tenderly. “You old bastard.”
Parker gasped, and Abe coughed out a laugh.
“I knew I liked you,” Abe said. “Now get her out of here. I’ve got things to do.”
Chapter Sixteen
PARKER WAS QUIET after their visit with Abe. She’d stopped crying when they were in the elevator, and now, as they waited for the valet, her eyes were hidden beneath her sunglasses. As much as Grayson wanted to know what she was thinking, he knew the best thing he could do was hold her and give her time to process everything she’d just been through. He was still working through his own thoughts about it. Who knew the old man had a big heart under that bitter demeanor?
He tipped the valet and opened the passenger door for Parker. She started to get in and then turned and threw her arms around his neck. He held her as she cried.
“It’s okay, baby. We’ll get through this.” Over her shoulder, he noticed a kid taking pictures of them with his cell phone. The same kid he’d seen standing outside the elevator when he and Parker were kissing.
“Get in the car, baby.” He guided her into her seat. His eyes remained on the kid, who was furiously typing on his phone. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He closed the car door and headed for the kid. The last thing Parker needed was a picture of her grief.
Standing before the scrawny teenager, Grayson was breathing fire and working hard to douse the flames. He was just a kid after all, probably paid a hefty sum for the last photo and dreaming of all the video games he could buy with his loot. Grayson held out his hand.
The kid’s thumbs stopped moving over his phone. He lifted his eyes to Grayson’s hand and up his arm. Grayson took great pleasure in knowing his size alone should intimidate the kid into giving him what he wanted. The scruffy-haired kid shoved his phone in his pocket.
“How much?” Grayson had a hard time keeping his anger out of his voice.
“What?” His eyes darted away from Grayson.
Grayson stepped closer. He hated to intimidate the kid, and he’d never touch him, but a little fear went a long way. And for Parker, there was nothing he wouldn’t do. “How much do you want for that picture?”
The kid swallowed so hard his eyes squinted.
“How much?” Grayson repeated.
The teen took a step back. “They gave me five hundred for the last picture. Said they’d give me more if I got her with another guy. I figured they’d pay the same for another of you two.”
“Did you post this one anywhere yet?”
He shook his head.
“Fifteen hundred, here and now, to never take her picture again—but I get your SIM card.”
“But—”
“Take the deal, or I track down your parents and you deal with the consequences.” Grayson held out his hand, and the boy hesitated. His eyes shifted to the car, where Parker was watching, glasses still in place. He knew the boy was calculating how many more pictures he could take and sell—and probably also how fast he could run—so Grayson went for the kid’s heart.
“She’s a person, not just a celebrity, and every picture you sell makes her life ten times harder. Do you really want that on your conscience? Don’t you have better things to do with your time?”
The kid looked up at him, then down at his phone.
“Didn’t your parents ever tell you it’s not how much money you have, but how you earn it that counts?” Grayson must have heard that a million times from his father, and he’d taken it to heart. Cheating, lying, scamming—none of that was in his repertoire.
The boy looked up and said with an attitude annoyingly fitting for his age, “My dad’s a lawyer. Maybe his father never taught him.” He took the SIM card out of his phone, smacked it into Grayson’s hand, and looked at Parker again. “Keep your stupid money.”
He took a step away, and Grayson grabbed his arm. The kid’s eyes widened with fear. Grayson pulled out his wallet and handed him five twenties. “For a new SIM card. Thank you. You’ve just made her life easier.”
The kid snagged the cash. “Whatever,” he said, and stalked away.
Grayson let out a heavy breath, feeling like he’d just helped Parker dodge a bullet, and returned to the car. How in the hell did she live like this?
“What was that about?” she asked.
He shook his head, reaching for her hand as he drove away from the resort. “Nothing. Are you okay?”
“Surprisingly, I think I am. Sad, you know, but I understand why Abe asked me not to come back. He’s right. I came there to try to put the feud between him and Bert to rest, and I got so much more. He’s cranky, and he’s probably been a jerk to a lot of people. But I don’t know. I guess I feel like he’s paid his dues. As he said, it was his cross to bear, but I could tell he feels bad about how his life unfolded. And that makes me really glad that I had a chance to connect with him. I feel like he’s in a better place emotionally than he was when we met him.”
She took off her sunglasses, and in her eyes Grayson saw it all—sadness, acceptance, and satisfaction.
“I think I’m in a better place, too,” she confessed. “Would you mind if we lived in your world for a while? Go see your dad as we’d planned and maybe stay at your place?”
“Whatever you’d like, sweetheart.” Grayson knew his simple cottage on a small private pond would pale in comparison to Parker’s bay-front home, but the thought of Parker there gave him a deep sense of pleasure. He wanted her in his life, and not just for a while.
***
LACROUX HARDWARE WAS located on a quiet side street, reminding Parker of a small-town film set. Trees sprouted up beside narrow sidewalks, their leafy
branches reaching out like umbrellas, shading the glass storefronts from the hot sun. Planters overflowed with bright flowers, and wooden benches offered passersby a place to rest. A young family sat on one of those benches in front of a chocolate shop, dipping their hands into white bakery bags and popping goodies into their mouths. Across the street, a couple stood in front of a shoe store. The woman pointed inside while the man tried to pull her away. Parker had always loved spotting those types of shared moments. Moments that she imagined were forgettable for most but she’d always longed for.
“Ready to meet my old man?” Grayson leaned in for a kiss.
I have my own moments now.
“Yes.” She reached for Grayson’s hand. “Your dad’s a smart marketer.” She pointed to the storefront window display. “Putting plants in with the tools makes it feel less like a guys-only store.”
“Sky ran the store while Dad was in rehab, and she added those and some other homey touches.” He laughed under his breath and shook his head. “She even painted murals behind the shelves, because to Sky, everything is a canvas.”
“Including people’s bodies.”
“Exactly. She really brightened the place up. Dad had always worked alone, which I think fed into his drinking after we lost our mom. He hired a part-timer last year. Mira’s a single mother around Sky’s age, and I think the company’s been really good for him, too.”
As Grayson reached for the door, she reached for him. “Before we go in—you said you weren’t going to sit around and let me fall into a bottle, or something like that. I’m not a drinker, and I don’t want you to worry about that with me. I almost never drink. And I’ve never been drunk like that before. I have a glass or two of wine sometimes if I’m having dinner with friends, or with you, but candy and chocolate are my drugs of choice. That night…” She fished for the right explanation. “That night I couldn’t see a way out from under how much I missed Bert. It was definitely a rock-bottom moment. And that next day I couldn’t believe how much of the bottle I drank. It wasn’t like a three-day binge, or—”
Seaside Lovers: Grayson Lacroux (Love in Bloom: Seaside Summers) Page 14