Tearing his mouth away, he growled, “Come with me,” and claimed her in another possessive kiss.
She cried out and her head tipped back. Knowing she came harder when they kissed, he brought her mouth back to his. Her sex pulsated around his shaft, shattering his last ounce of control, and he surrendered to the pure, explosive pleasure.
Grayson held her in his arms beneath the warm shower spray until their breathing calmed. He loved that she trusted him enough to give herself so completely to him when they made love, but nothing touched him more deeply than when she went soft in his arms, knowing he’d take care of her.
She was leaving for California in four days, and he wouldn’t be there to take care of her. He had three more nights to hold her in his arms. Four mornings to wake up with her by his side. The timeline felt more like a time bomb. He’d worried about living on opposite sides of the country, but their intimacy ran beyond sex and secrets, and when he looked into their future, he knew there was no distance vast enough to keep them apart.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“WALK WITH ME.” Parker reached for Grayson’s hand, and they walked to the end of the bluff with Christmas by their side. They’d returned to pack Parker’s things for her flight home and were due to leave for the airport in twenty minutes.
It had been four days since they’d met Sarah. Four days since he’d made the phone call that set his secret plan into action. Four days since guilt had begun eating him alive. He’d tried to bring up the DNA test every day since he’d made the arrangements, and again last night after their friends had thrown Parker a goodbye party on Cahoon Hollow Beach. They’d had a bonfire. Sawyer had played his guitar. They’d laughed and danced, and Parker had hugged the girls so many times, he’d half expected her not to leave.
He’d tried to bring up the test again yesterday evening, but it was their last night together for a few weeks, and he couldn’t do it. If the results were negative, she’d never have to know, and telling her would only make her worry. But if they were positive, she’d have the family she’d always wished for. He was doing the right thing, or at least he thought he was, but the guilt of keeping a secret from Parker was killing him.
“This is where you first kissed me.” Parker turned to face him. Her smile reached her eyes, radiating in the reflection of the sun. She was dressed to the nines, in a classy skirt and top with sky-high heels. Beyond gorgeous, she was back to the Parker Collins the world knew and loved. But he saw more than what everyone else saw, and he’d fallen in love with all of her—the Parker Collins that was just as much a down-to-earth woman as she was a famous actress. The way she could morph into her public persona in the blink of an eye or cuddle beside him on a sandy beach in a pair of shorts, with her hair in a ponytail and no makeup. He loved hearing her on the phone with directors and actors and her agent and Luce, moving between personalities with the grace and expertise she’d used to build her fabulous career.
The sound of the bay floated up from below, and behind her, Christmas bounded across the grass after a bird. They were his life now. In just a few weeks they’d become the most important parts of his life. How could they be leaving?
He drew her against him. “Sweetheart, was the kiss in the elevator that forgettable?”
She shook her head. “But I meant really kissed me, like I was yours.”
She had him there. In the elevator, he was still hoping. Now he knew.
“Christmas will miss you,” she said softly.
“You won’t?” He fought against the claws of guilt trying to pull him away.
She held up her finger and thumb less than an inch apart, laughing as his mouth descended on hers, and he kissed that laugh right out of her, reveling in her warmth, her taste, her eagerness. When they parted, she had the look of love in her eyes he saw in his dreams. And it was that look that brought guilt so crushing he could barely breathe.
“I already miss you,” she said.
Tell her. Just tell her. “Hm?”
“I already miss you. Are you okay? You look a little green.”
“Yes. No.” He couldn’t let her leave until he came clean, no matter how good his intentions were and regardless of the results not being in yet. He was beginning to think he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.
“No?” Her brows knitted.
He extracted his hands from hers and scrubbed a hand down his face, wishing he’d never made the fucking call—and in the next breath, knowing that if the results were positive, he’d damn well done the right thing.
“Grayson, you’re worrying me.”
Conflicted didn’t begin to describe the way he felt, and now the worry on Parker’s face made him feel like he’d swallowed a pound of lead.
“I’m sorry, baby.” He reached for her hand, and she trustingly took it, which made this even harder. “I have to tell you something, and I should have told you days ago, but I couldn’t. I know you didn’t want to pursue the idea of Miriam being related to you.”
“Grayson?” She shook her head.
He tightened his hold on it. “I know you didn’t want to pursue it because you were scared of having false hope and you want Sarah’s daughter to be alive. But, baby, sweetheart, all you’ve ever wanted was to have a family, and no matter how remote the chance, I couldn’t let it go.”
She tore her hand from his and crossed her arms. Her eyes narrowed with fear and anger and hurt that cut like a knife. “What did you do?”
He held her gaze, owning the pain and accepting her anger, and gave her the truth. “When we got back from Jersey I gave Caden your blue hairbrush, and he sent it in for a DNA test.”
“You…?” She stumbled backward, shaking her head. “I don’t understand. Why would you do that?”
He stepped forward, but she held up a hand, warding him off, and he reluctantly stopped. “I couldn’t let it go.”
“I told you to let it go. It wasn’t your decision to make.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, piercing his heart even deeper. “Did you…? Does she know? Sarah? God, poor Sarah.”
“No. Parker—”
“No, Grayson!” she shouted. Christmas sprinted over and stood between them, his big head moving back and forth, as if he didn’t know where his loyalty should lie. “I trusted you. I trusted you wholly and completely and you—”
He closed the distance between them. “I messed up big time, Parker, and I’m sorry. I wasn’t even going to tell you if the results were negative. You wouldn’t have had to worry at all.”
“Like that’s any better? Lying to me forever?” She spun around and stormed toward the house.
He kept pace beside her. “It’s not better, but I’m telling you now. I couldn’t live with the guilt.”
“Apparently you lived with it pretty well for the last few days.”
“No, it was killing me. But if the results are positive, then you have a family, Parker. You have a grandmother.”
She stopped cold and turned a lethal gaze on him. “I trusted you,” she seethed. “I told you I didn’t want this.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. I should have gotten your permission.” Goddamn it. In his head, he had done it for all the right reasons. Couldn’t she see that? “I hoped to find a family connection. Maybe I went about it the wrong way.”
“Maybe?” She scoffed and grabbed her phone from the patio table. “You should have told me sooner? I can’t deal with this right now. I need space. Time. You’re…” She shook her head. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Unbelievable?” Anger and confusion whirled inside him. This couldn’t be happening. He had to stop this fight, to make her understand, but he could tell she was way past understanding. He’d done this to them—to her. Something inside him snapped, and he was powerless to stop the words from coming out.
“Goddamn it, Parker! I get that I fucked up. I love you too much to cause you the anguish of false hope—and I love you too much to let go of the remote possibility
of finding your family. It was wrong. I broke your trust. But I stand behind it, because I love you. I want to give you everything, but I couldn’t with you standing in my way. I had to go around you. Can’t you see that?”
She lifted her chin and drew her shoulders back, gaining composure in the righting of her spine and the unfurling of her fingers. “You won’t have to go around me anymore.” She punched a few numbers on her phone and lifted it to her ear.
“Parker…? What are you saying? I’m taking you to the airport.”
“No, you’re not. Goodbye, Grayson.”
**
THE CAR SERVICE showed up late and Parker missed her flight out of Boston. She was too upset to sit around an airport for hours and did what she’d sworn she would never do, and damn it to hell, she didn’t care who saw her. A few phone calls later, she and Christmas were on a private jet, flying across the country toward the land of beautiful people and scenic beaches. To her secluded home in Malibu, her life, and back-to-back meetings beginning tomorrow morning. She had the airliner to herself, having told the stewards not to bother her, which was perfect, because she didn’t know how much longer she could keep up the act of diva actress.
Not very long, it turned out. As Boston faded away in the distance, tears tumbled down her cheeks. Christmas put his front paws on her legs and licked her tears away.
Perfect.
Flipping perfect.
She was right back where she’d started a month ago.
Only worse.
Now she knew what it felt like to be in love, and whether she liked it or not, she was truly, deeply in love with Grayson. He’d taught her that it was okay to be herself and to honor her sadness and grief without feeling bad about it. He’d respected her worries about her reputation, and he’d done his best to protect her. I’ll be your bodyguard. He’d brought her into his circle of friends and family, and he’d supported her in every single thing she’d gone through. Even Abe. And Sarah.
And he loved her dog as much as she did.
Christmas whimpered and rested his chin on her legs, looking up at her like he was missing Grayson, too.
“Stop it. We can’t miss him. We can’t trust him. He hurt us.”
Christmas lifted his head, and she knew he was waiting for more tears, but she refused to let them fall.
Unfortunately, Grayson had taught her how to move on, too.
This is my real life now.
Chapter Twenty-Six
PARKER LOOKED AT her watch for the fifth time, wondering where in the hell Luce was. They were supposed to meet more than an hour ago, and Parker needed her support today more than ever. Not as a public-relations rep but as a friend. Today was her big audition for the lead role in the romantic comedy. Every time Parker auditioned for a role, her stomach knotted, her chest constricted, and she worried she’d wet her pants, throw up, or pass out—or maybe all of the above. Bert used to tell her that was because she cared so much about being great at her job. It was true she cared about excelling as an actress, and she always gave one hundred and ten percent to every audition and, subsequently, to every role. But that wasn’t what was causing her such panic. It was the feeling that at any moment someone would out her for being someone she wasn’t, which was silly, she knew. She was acting. She was supposed to be someone she wasn’t. That was the very thing she adored about her job, becoming someone else—and she was damn good at it.
But auditions had always felt different, like those first few days in a foster home. When the pressure was on to learn how to act, how to fit in, and how to go unnoticed.
“I’m here! Sorry I’m late.” Luce flew into the waiting room, her blond hair pulled back in a clip at the base of her neck, her usual enormous tote over her right shoulder. She eyed Parker as she fell into the seat beside her. “You sure you want to do this?”
“Yes. Why are you so late? You’re never late.” She was barely holding her shit together. She’d spent the last two days going in and out of meetings, doing her best impression of a happy actress. She wasn’t just good at it; she was one of the best. Then again, not giving herself time to think had always worked in the past, and it was doing a fair job of keeping her distracted now. Or at least it had been, until last night, when she’d realized it had been two days and she hadn’t heard from Grayson. Not a text. Not an email. Not a phone call.
“Sorry. I got an urgent call from a client who was in trouble, and I had to sort a few things out. You look like shit. You sure you want to do this? We can put it off.”
Parker rolled her eyes. Luce pulled a makeup bag out of her tote and dragged Parker into the ladies’ room. She could always count on Luce to be blatantly honest and prepared.
“I already did my makeup,” Parker complained.
“Yeah, but you did it like you didn’t give a shit.” Luce took the clip out of her hair, freeing her thick mane, and used it to pull Parker’s hair into a low ponytail, securing it at the nape of her neck.
“Maybe I don’t.” She definitely hadn’t taken the time to do her makeup the way she usually did. Every time she looked in the mirror, she saw someone she didn’t like. Grayson had been so good to her, so patient and loving, and she’d barely given him a chance to explain.
“You do care. You’re just in that crazy fucked-up place women go when their hearts have been broken.” Luce put makeup beneath Parker’s eyes. “You’re becoming beautiful again, thanks to me.”
She’d been up half the night studying her lines and trying to convince herself that she’d done the right thing by walking away from Grayson. Okay, maybe she’d spent the night trying to study her lines and thinking about how much she missed Grayson.
Luce snapped her fingers in front of Parker’s eyes.
Parker blinked several times. “What?”
“You are totally zoning out. You cannot do this audition.” Luce shoved her makeup back into her tote and crossed her arms. She was about as cutthroat and sharp as they came, and she could turn a rat bastard’s reputation into Prince Charming within a few highly strategized days.
Parker knew if Luce didn’t think she should do the audition, she was probably right, but she wasn’t in a compliant mood. “You’re not here as my PR rep,” she reminded her.
“Right. Let me say this as your friend instead.” With one hand on her hip and a bitchy look on her face, she said, “Your incredibly amazing boyfriend did you a solid by trying to find your family. He went about it ass backward, because that’s what real men do. They don’t always think before taking action. Not that you would know, because you’re never around normal men. You’re around quasi-men who wax their entire bodies, have less muscle than me, and trade testosterone for paychecks.”
Parker couldn’t help but laugh. “They really do wax all over, don’t they? Blech. Grayson has this sexy dusting of chest hair, and he’s loaded with testosterone. He’s so confident and in control and always watching, you know? Watching other people watching me, like he’d step in if someone approached.”
Luce raised her brows. “You sound dreamy, like you did when you were back at the Cape.”
“I do not.” I totally do.
“You love him, Parker, and there’s no shame in that.”
“He broke my trust.” She turned away, but she couldn’t escape the pain that chased the memory. “I can’t love him.”
“Okay, you’re right. You can’t love him, because people don’t make mistakes. That’s why I’ll be out of a job tomorrow. No mistakes, no need for PR.”
Parker glared at her. Nothing felt right since she’d come back home. Her house felt vacant, her bed was lonely, and her heart ached so badly every time she thought of Grayson she wanted to cry and punch something in equal measure. And Christmas? Her poor boy had been moping around for two days, whimpering, sleeping beside the bed, like he was waiting for Grayson to climb into his spot beside her. She wished he would.
“Well, if you’re really over him, then you won’t mind seeing this.” Luce dug in he
r tote and pulled out a screenshot of Perez Hilton’s website. Beneath the headline, When Parker’s Away Lacroux Will Play, there was a picture of Grayson sitting in a dark restaurant with an arm around Bailey Bray, one of the hottest female rock stars around. He was leaning in, like he was whispering in her ear.
Like he used to do to her.
She could practically feel his warm breath on her skin. Hear him whispering, I love you, sweetheart.
Parker dropped the paper. Her lungs refused to work. She couldn’t believe Grayson would move on that fast. She had been bitchy and upset, but still. He’d said he loved her. He’d touched her like he loved her.
“I didn’t show you before because, well, you know. I thought it might make you fall apart.” Luce pulled a handful of tissues from her tote and shoved them into Parker’s hand. “So much for the makeup. I’m canceling your audition.”
“No!” Parker finally managed. She wiped her eyes, sniffling, and trying her damnedest to pull her shit together. “I need this role.”
“Like you need a hole in your head,” Luce said flatly. “If you never worked again you’d have enough money to live a very elaborate life.”
“I don’t need it for the money.” Tears tumbled down her cheeks. “I need it so I can forget…”
Luce opened her arms, and Parker fell into her warm and welcome embrace.
“Feel that?” Luce asked.
“The man I love killing me? Yeah. I do. Thanks. And I hate you so much right now.”
Luce stroked Parker’s back. “No, honey. You’re not dying. You’re finally living.”
“You’re messed up.”
Luce laughed. “Probably, considering I can fix everyone’s life but my own.” She pulled Parker from her shoulder and leveled her with a serious stare. “You need a mom.”
“You’re full of hateful things today. I think I need to rethink this friendship.”
Seaside Lovers: Grayson Lacroux (Love in Bloom: Seaside Summers) Page 21