“You ate shit out of a toilet?” I asked.
Jack nodded his head and grinned.
“Didn’t have a choice. Food, drinks, everything. You tie a string to it, shove it in the toilet, and pull it out when you want it. If the cops come, you flush it. After they leave, if they don’t find the end of your string, you pull it back out of the sewer and either eat it or drink it.”
I narrowed my eyes as I tried to imagine eating anything out of a toilet. “God damn.”
“Go ahead,” Jack said. “I apologize for interrupting.”
You’re alright in my book, big boy. I like it that you’re already schooled in the respect department.
I took a quick drink of beer and continued. “Okay, so I’m waitin’ on my check, and my gut’s a rumblin’ and makin’ noise, and I know it’s time to go. I reach into my wallet, pull out a twenty, and drop it on the table. I run out to my bike and ride that fucker home like I’d stole it. Whole way, it’s a coin toss as to whether I’m gonna shit my pants or make it on time. I pull that fucker in the drive, hop off, and run into the house, dropping my pants as I’m runnin’.”
“So I get into the shitter, and just explode. A miracle I even made it, I’m tellin’ ya. So for about four hours, I got the shits. Now for situations like this, I keep them pills, the anti-diarrhea stuff, Imodium AD. I take about ten of those fuckers and finally it stops.”
I took another quick drink and raised my hand to silence the group from another interruption. As I set my bottle back onto the table, I widened my eyes and continued.
“So that ain’t even the story, the story’s this. I took so many of those damned pills that I didn’t shit for a week, and we got the rally comin’ up in two days. Finally, it came. When it did, it was a week’s worth, and about the size of a ten year old boy’s arm. Fucker ripped my ass to shreds. Now, although I finally took a shit, I’m in pretty sad shape and I got a hemorrhoid the size of a Johnsonville Bratwurst hanging out of my ass.”
Jack chuckled. “God damn. That’s a bitch. And the run’s a few days out?”
I nodded my head and grinned. “Precisely. Two days until we’re gonna spend ten hours on the road, and I’ve got a little friend hangin’ outta my ass like I just gave birth. So I know I can’t make it with this hot dog hanging out of my ass. Hell, I can’t even sit down. Sleepin’ on my belly and shit, and I fuckin’ hate sleepin’ on my belly, I’m a back sleeper. So I get me a rubber glove and I poke this fucker back up in there. Hell, after a few minutes, I feel pretty good and forget it’s even there. I stand up and take a few steps.”
I paused for effect and leaned into the table.
“And bloop - out the fucker comes. Another rubber glove, poke him back in there, and everything’s fine. Take a few steps and bloop - out he comes again. Now I know I can’t ride to Austin with my finger in my ass, so I start to thinkin’. And all of a sudden it comes to me, so I have Tater come get me in his truck and take to me that dildo shop out east. After a look around a bit, I find one of them butt plugs. Did you know they come in about ten different sizes?”
“Had no idea,” Jack responded.
“Well they do. Picked me out a little red number on the small side of things. And it had this little ring in the end made it look like a pacifier. So Tater takes me home, and I glove up, shove the hotdog inside, and poke the little pacifier in my ass. After I wiggle around a bit, it feels pretty good. Now as far as I’m concerned, problem’s solved. I’m a day out and ready to ride. Just for shits and grins, later on that night, I reach back there to check on things, you know, make sure everything’s where it should be. And I’ll be damned if that little ring, you know the part you hold on to? It’s fucking gone!”
Jack’s eyes widened. “Huh?”
“Yep. Fucker sucked right up there in my ass. So, now I got to go fishin’ for this little fucker. I glove up again, stick my finger up there, and fish around and find it. I pull her out, wash her up, and grease it with Vaseline and poke it back inside. Couple a minutes, and bloop. You guessed it, it disappears.”
“So I just say fuck it. At this point in time, I feel pretty good, other’n knowing I got a butt plug in my ass. I hop on the bike and ride out to the snow ski and mountain climbin’ store out on Central. Buy me one of those spring loaded carabiner D-rings. After I rode home, I gloved up one last time, found the little fucker, pulled it out, and hooked that D-Ring to it. Then I shoved her back in, and let the hook just hang out of my ass.”
Jack shook his head and narrowed his gaze in apparent disbelief. “Rode to Austin with a rappelling D-ring hanging out of your ass?”
“Sure as fuck did, left it there for a fucking week. Don’t know if it was a conscious thing, or just because I had that little rubber plug in there or what, but I didn’t shit for a week. When we got home, I reached back, grabbed the D-ring and gave it a tug. Damned thing popped out, and my little friend the hotdog was gone. Problem solved.”
Jack reached over and slapped his hand against my shoulder. “You’re funnier than a motherfucker.”
“Club joker, that’s me,” is said.
Jack whistled. “Holy. Fucking. Shit. Now, that’s a woman.”
I turned to face the door. A six foot tall blonde supermodel walked into the bar, clearly out of place in a bar with a bunch of bikers. As I studied her and began wondering if she could lift her thirty-six inch long legs over her shoulders, Otis stood and turned around.
“Sam,” he hollered.
“Sam!” he screamed again as she walked to the bar.
Holy shit, that’s Samantha.
She turned around. As she made eye contact with the Big O, she looked like she’d seen a ghost.
A few minutes later, Otis brought her to the table and introduced her to all of us. Meeting her did little but fuel my desire to fuck Kat again. As she sat in the booth and laughed and talked to Otis about old times, I stared blankly at the walls and tried to figure out what it was about Kat that made her a better piece of ass in my mind than any of the other women I had fucked recently.
Coming up with nothing she possessed other than an extremely eager attitude and a long set of legs, I was pleased when Otis and Sam stood to leave.
Knowing Otis was going to knock off a piece of for old time’s sake pussy, I turned toward Jack and Toad and yawned.
“Fellas, I’d be lyin’ if I said I was tired. But, I’m tired of lookin’ at you two fuckers. I’m gonna piss, hop on my sled, and head to Kat’s house. I’m in dire need of some pussy,” I said as I glanced toward the bathroom.
“It’s damned near midnight,” Toad said as he looked at his watch.
“Good. That’ll leave me damned near eight solid hours to fuck her before she’s got to get to school,” I said as I turned toward the bathroom.
As I walked to the bathroom, I realized I had yet to talk to Kat about her father. Tonight probably wouldn’t be a good time, I just needed to get laid, not piss anyone off. Maybe next week I’d say something when both of our minds were clear and she had the ability to listen to what it was I had to say.
For now, I simply needed her to be no more than what she was.
A piece of pussy.
KAT
Predicting my former boyfriend Kyle’s sexual actions was easy. He’d climb on me, fuck me, and climb off. From time to time, he’d demand I suck his dick, and he’d hold my head with his hands while I did so, making sure to make me as uncomfortable as possible during the entire process. Predicting what Biscuit was going to do, however, seemed to be nothing short of impossible.
The long list of sexual offerings Biscuit chose from seemed to be very vast, and to be brutally honest, as far as I was concerned I never wanted to be fucked in a bed or in the missionary position again as long as I lived.
“Get up here and sit on my face,” he said as he bent over backwards and rested his shoulders and the back of his head on the table.
The deck off of the apartment jutted out to the side, and hung from the exterio
r wall for all the world to see. Every apartment in the building had a similar deck, and they were situated directly above, below, and beside each other. Mine was approximately eight feet by eight feet, and was just large enough for the small glass table and four chairs I had positioned on it for sitting and enjoying the evening air or having a drink.
As much as I wanted to do what he asked of me, the flimsy table, at least in my opinion, wasn’t suitable for both of us to be fucking on.
“I think it might collapse,” I said.
“Get the fuck out of here,” he said as he rolled onto his side and stood.
He turned toward the table and began inspecting the legs, upper portion, and the surface of the glass.
“Get this fucker at Home Depot?” he asked as he examined the table.
“Wow. As a matter of fact we did,” I responded.
“Well, it’ll do just fine,” he said. “Toad’s got one just like it at his place on the back deck, and I stood on the bastard one Sunday and told a story. Motherfucker never collapsed on me, so it ain’t gonna collapse here.”
“Now ride my fuckin’ face,” he said as he lowered himself onto the table again.
“But, we’re outside,” I explained as I peered over the edge of the deck to the deck beside us which was not more than ten feet away.
I glanced to my left, toward my other neighbor’s deck which was the same distance away.
“I don’t give a fuck. It’s seventy-five out here, and about ninety god damned degrees in your apartment. I been ridin’ all day, I’m hot, and it’s fuckin’ midnight. Grind that sweet little pussy on my beard, I ain’t gonna ask ya again. Now get to work,” he said in a demanding tone.
I glanced over my left shoulder, and then turned to my right. All of the decks I could see in both directions were empty, which wasn’t surprising. It was almost one o’clock in the morning. Somewhat reluctantly, I unbuttoned my shorts, pulled them down past my thighs, and kicked them to the side. After pulling off my panties and tossing them on top of my shorts, I walked toward the table and peered down at Biscuit.
Lying there on his back with his face pointed straight up at the sky, he grinned and stuck out his tongue.
“Just sit down here like you’re gettin’ on a chair,” he said as he closed his eyes and patted his hand against his beard.
“This seems weird,” I said as I glanced out at the pond situated directly behind the deck.
“Don’t seem weird to me. Eatin’ pussy is damned sure more natural than eatin’ a fuckin’ hamburger,” he said flatly.
“Fuck my beard, Kat,” he said.
As if I had no choice, and feeling no differently, I backed up to the table, straddled his chest, and squatted down on his face. As my butt cheeks rested against his face, he reached up and shifted me slightly, then shoved his tongue against my pussy.
As soon as I felt the tip of it against my swollen mound, I spread my legs slightly and relaxed.
Oh dear God.
His tongue pressed deeper and deeper, finally reaching the sweetest of spots. The tip of his tongue tickled my g-spot while the girth of it satisfied my pussy like no vibrator or dildo ever could. Somewhat nervous at first, ten seconds of his torturous tongue caused me to forget everything but being satisfied by his ability to please me orally.
As I exhaled and arched my back, I peered up at the clear star filled sky. His tongue repeatedly searched inside of me for a place to tease as I held my breath, bit my lip, and prayed to last another thirty seconds before I reached climax. The build up to the orgasm was almost more enjoyable than the orgasm itself, but so far about ninety seconds was my record on orgasm denial.
Being quiet during climax had never been one of my strengths, nor had prolonging the build-up. When it was time to have an orgasm, I had no control. The two sexual assurances in life, for me anyway, were that I was going to have the orgasm when the time came, and I was going to be vocal about it.
As Biscuit began to moan into my thighs, his tongue danced in and out of my now soaking wet pussy. Just to solidify my place on the night’s orgasmic calendar, I reached down and began to play with my clit. Five or so seconds later, I felt my body began to reach the brink.
It was all but over.
“Oh holy fuck…” I moaned.
He began to moan more aggressively into my thighs. His beard against my inner thighs caused me to tingle all over as he forced his tongue in and out of my pussy.
“Jesus Biscuit…Jesus…I…” I wailed as I closed my eyes.
He pressed his tongue deep, held it there, and began some new procedure on my g-spot. Instead of flicking the tip of his tongue against it once and retracting it, he now held his tongue in place, and flicked the tip of his tongue against my sensitive g-spot over and over. I opened my eyes and stared up at the sky as my body convulsed and my toes began to curl.
“Holy…shit…” I squealed as I heard the table creak beneath our weight.
My pussy began to tingle from the inside out, and my mind went blank. When I came back to my senses, my entire body felt as if it was on fire, and I was standing beside the table wide-eyed with my hands raised to my mouth.
“What the fuck did you get up for?” he asked as he stood.
“What the fuck just happened?” I asked.
“Well, I was doing the flicker and you screamed, came all over my face, and jumped up,” he said as he wiped his beard with his hand.
“The what?” I muttered.
As if I was some inexperienced sexual idiot, he raised one eyebrow, turned up his palms, and shrugged his shoulders slightly.
“The flicker. It’s when I hold my in tongue deep and tease your g-spot. You like it?” he asked.
“Uhhm, yeah. That’s an understatement,” I murmured.
“Well, we better keep at it before your pussy goes all back to normal,” he said as he reached for his belt.
I was still floating round somewhere in the star-filled sky as I watched him remove his boots, jeans, boxer shorts, and shirt. Now standing at the edge of the deck naked as the day he was born, I stared at him realizing it was the first time I had actually studied him while he was fully naked. Covered in tattoos and muscles, his cock hung between his legs like another limb altogether.
“Come here and give me a hug. And take that shirt off, I wanna see those big titties,” he said flatly.
“Huh? A hug?” I asked.
“Yeah, a fuckin’ hug,” he responded.
I pulled off my shirt and removed my bra. Somewhat self-conscious about my large breasts, I crossed my arms over my chest as I approached him, unfolding them as I stepped in front of him. As my arms wrapped around his upper body, he reached down and lifted me from my feet.
With his hands against my ass, and his forearms along my thighs, he held me above the floor in his arms. Slowly, he began to lower me slightly as he released my left leg and obviously guided his cock into my throbbing and overly anxious pussy.
As I felt his cock penetrate me, I gasped in slight shock. In this position, it felt huge. With each additional inch of his girth inside of me, my eyes widened slightly in disbelief. When he was finally all the way in, I felt as if the tip of his dick was in my chest.
“Holy shit…this…feels….weird,” I stammered.
“You’ll get used to it,” he said with a nod.
“Ready?” he asked.
Eager to have him fuck me senseless, I nodded my head and bit my lip.
Holding me in his arms and moving me up and down as if I were a rag doll, he began to raise and lower me onto his stiff cock. To ease the process and minimize the pain, I spread my legs wide and extended them beyond his hips.
With his massive hands cupping my ass, he began to thrust his hips up and down, pressing his upper thighs against my butt cheeks. The sound of skin on skin echoing into the night was almost as big of a turn on as him fuckin me on the deck.
“Who’s little pussy am I fuckin’, Kat?” he asked as he pounded himself in and out o
f my dripping wet pussy.
“Yours,” I whimpered.
And, as much as he’d never admit it, my pussy was just that.
His.
“Stick those big titties in my face,” he said as he lowered his chin.
I reached up with one hand and raised my right boob. Immediately, he bit into my nipple, and began nibbling on it was he continued to fuck me hard. His cock now sliding in and out with ease, and my nipple between his teeth, he pulled my ass cheeks wider as he thrust his hips up and down with perfect rhythm.
I could feel myself running down my leg as the cool night breeze blew across the deck. I closed my eyes and focused on the tingling feeling that was running violently between my nipple and my pussy. Within a few seconds, I felt my inner lady bits start to tingle, and I knew it was all but over.
“You better scream when you have that orgasm,” he grunted as he released my nipple from his teeth.
I nodded my head and opened my eyes.
“You like that big cock?” he asked.
I nodded my head and grunted.
He pressed his face against mine and bit my earlobe as he stuffed me full of cock.
“You’re a cock hungry little bitch, aren’t you?” he breathed into my ear.
“Yes,” I whimpered.
“Scream it,” he demanded.
“I uhhm…I’m a…cock hungry…little…”
“Bitch…” I cried.
“Scream it!” he demanded as he pulled his hips back and held them there.
I arched my back, stared up at the sky, and screamed at the top of my lungs, “I’m a cock hungry little bitch!”
He released me from his grasp, lowered me to the floor, and spun me in a half circle in one fluid motion. Now facing the table and slightly confused, I felt his hand against my upper back.
CHEAP SMUT: Four Erotic Romance Novels (Boxed Set) Page 30