by Jamilia Fair
Turning around, I rush over to the girls and tell them what Remy has just told me, and neither of them look shocked. They look rather … guilty.
“Oh my, … you knew? You knew about this, and you didn’t tell me?”
They nod.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t any of you tell me that it was Jessica? That she’s the one who’s been trying to kill me?” I ball my hands into fists. “Why would you keep this a secret from me?”
“We didn’t know how to tell you. We…” Neither of them can speak clearly because they’re stumbling over their words.
Pissed beyond belief, I storm passed them and into the kitchen. I can’t believe they’d keep something so huge from me. This is my life I’m talking about. I deserved to know that Jessica has been the one who has been out to get me and ruin my life.
“Tabitha?”
I turn around and come face to face with Jeremiah. He looks good in his black suit and tie with his hair just as curly as the last time I saw him. I take a step back, my eyes never leaving him, and bump up against the counter.
“Hi,” he says.
I don’t say anything back, but that doesn’t stop him from just standing there, staring at me with a hungry look in his eyes.
“You’re just standing there, staring at me,” I groan.
He crosses the space between us. “You’re breathtaking. Can you really blame me?”
Despite the butterflies in my stomach, my heart beating like drums in my chest, and how much I want to jump on him and kiss him, I don’t. I won’t. I’m still so fucking angry at Barbara and Brooke for not telling me about Jessica.
He notices.
“What’s wrong?”
I swallow.
“Did you know that Jessica is the one who sent Tony Riels after me? That she’s the one who poisoned me?”
After a long moment of silence, he nods. “Yes.”
That really got my blood boiling. “Why is it that everyone else knew but me? Why in the fuck didn’t anyone tell me? Why is it that the one person who deserved to know, didn’t?”
“We wanted to find her first,” he says, taking a step in my direction.
I quickly move past him. “I deserved to know! I could have helped. I’m the one she’s been trying to kill! I’m the one that was almost…” I take a deep breath. “I’m the one that was almost raped. Not you. Not Amber. Not Brooke. Not Remy. Not Barbara. Only me, yet I’m the last one to know.”
With that, I turn and walk away from him to find a quiet place to sit and think. I need to calm myself down, but as I am passing the room I recognize as Mr. Cross’s office, I am being pulled inside, and the door is being closed behind me. “What the hell.” I turn around to see that it’s Jeremiah. “What are you doing?”
“You’re angry with me, with all of us, but mainly with me. You need to calm yourself, and this is the quietest room in the house,” he says, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his father’s desk. “Please, sit down. We don’t have to talk. We can just sit here in silence.”
“Jeremiah, I don’t think this is an excellent idea.”
“Please. I just want… I need to be near you.”
Sighing, I move to sit in the chair across from him. He sits back in his chair and folds his hands on his lap, and my eyes instantly fall onto his crotch. Images of him making love to me on his father’s desk enter my mind, and I am forced to cross my legs. How can I be so turned on by him right now when I’m so angry? I should be ashamed of my damn self.
But you’re not, so get over it.
“I’m sorry,” I find myself saying suddenly.
He leans forward in his chair with a look of confusion. “Why are you apologizing to me?”
“I should have told you. After it happened, I should have told you, but I couldn’t.”
He swallows. “Why not?”
I shake my head and shrug. “Because I-I didn’t want it to be that every time you looked at me, you saw a victim. I wanted you to look at me and see me like always and not like some woman who was almost raped. I didn’t want to be damaged goods.” I try and force back the tears that threaten to fall but fail miserably. “I wanted to remain the woman you love, a mother to your children. I was scared that if you knew, all of that would change—that you would unconsciously see me differently, so I kept it to myself.”
He leans even closer. “Tabitha, that never would have happened. I love you more than my own life. How I saw you, how I still see you, never would have changed.”
“I thought I could handle it on my own. I thought if you didn’t know, everything would be okay. You were already worried sick about me, driving yourself mad with keeping me safe, and I knew that if you knew about what had almost happened, you would have… you would have killed him. You would have killed him then blamed yourself.” I lean forward. “And I didn’t want that. I didn’t want you risking your freedom for me or blaming yourself for something you had no control over. So, I decided to keep it to myself.”
He lifts a hand and gently wipes away my fallen tears.
“Look, I don’t blame you. Hell, I can’t blame you for responding the way you did, because if I’d seen pictures like those, I would have responded horribly too. A picture is worth a thousand words, and they would have been very hard to explain.” I close my eyes and take a big breath before opening my eyes again. “But what hurt me the most is that you didn’t give me a chance to explain. You didn’t come to me. You should have come to me, Jeremiah. You should have asked me about them. You should have given me the chance to explain. I would rather have had you curse me and call me out of my name than to have done what you did because it would have given me the chance to tell you the truth about what happened.”
Pushing forward in his chair, Jeremiah takes both my hands in his and gently squeezes them. “I know I hurt you, and I know what I did was wrong, and for the rest of my life, I have to live with the fact that I hurt you—that I wrecked our family. And for that, I am sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t come to you first. I’m sorry I reacted first, and I’m sorry I—” he swallows, “—I’m sorry I purposely let you catch me in bed with that woman. I was angry, upset, I felt betrayed, and I wasn’t thinking straight. But that doesn’t excuse what I did or how I handled things.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t.”
“I love you, Tabitha. I want to be with you. I want our family back. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right—to gain your trust.”
“How am I supposed to trust you again, Jeremiah? How can I be with someone who when they’re angry and emotional, they react so harshly without thinking? How am I supposed to trust that you won’t do something like this again?” I take a deep breath. “I can’t be with someone like that. I can’t be with you when I’m worried and afraid that the next time we have a fight, you’re going to react the same way. I can’t live like that. I won’t. I deserve better; our family deserves better.”
He lets go of my hands and cups my cheeks. “I should have come to you. After looking at those photos, I should have come to you and asked you about them, but I didn’t. If I could go back, I would go and find you like I wanted to in the beginning, but I can’t. I wish I could because I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you ever again.” He leans in closer, resting his forehead against mine as a few tears make trails down his face. “I know what it’s like to live without you, and it’s the worst feeling in the world. I hate not waking up next to you, I hate not seeing your beautiful face or hearing your voice, and I hate that I’m the reason Melissa and Jake are hurting because you’re not around.”
“Do they know what’s going on?” I ask.
He nods. “I told Melissa, and she helped me explain it to Jake. I didn’t want to lie to them.”
“I’m sorry you had to do that.”
“I know it’s going to take a long time for you to trust me again, to believe in us again, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to make us a family again, to
get back to where we once were.”
Lifting my head, I stare into his green eyes for a moment, thinking back to when everything was just so perfect and where everything went wrong. I love Jeremiah with everything in me, but am I willing to give him another chance? I can’t just jump back into our old life like nothing happened.
“I love you, Jeremiah. I will always love you, but I can’t… I don’t know.” I wrap my fingers around his wrists and close my eyes. “I can’t be in a relationship with you right now.” I open my eyes to see his face fall in defeat.
“Oh, okay. I understand.”
“But maybe we can start slow.”
His head shoots up, and he meets my gaze. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I don’t trust you, and things can’t go back to the way they used to be, but—” I lift a hand to his cheek, “—we can start over. Take things slow.”
A smile spreads across his face. “Alright. We can go as slow as you want. I’ll wait for you forever.”
I smile. “Forever is a long time.”
He leans closer. “You’re worth it.”
Past
Jeremiah
(15)
“Jeremiah?”
I look to see Remy standing in the doorway of my office. He has a glare etched across his face. He’s still angry with me about everything that happened with Tabitha, not that I can really blame him. Hell, I’m angry with myself. If I could go back, I would.
“Is something wrong? Are Tabitha and the kids alright?”
He steps into my office, closes the door, and crosses the room toward me and drops into the chair across from me. “The kids are fine,” he says.
“And Tabitha?” I ask.
“You no longer have the right to know how she is,” he spits, running his fingers through his hair. “You lost that right the moment you stepped out on her, Jer.”
I glare at him then run my hand over my face. “Don’t you think I know that? I know I fucked up bad, but there isn’t anything I can do about the past. It happened, and I will spend the rest of my life paying for it.”
“Yes, you will.”
“But that doesn’t stop me from worrying about her. I love her, Remington—”
“Don’t go there, Jeremiah,” he snarls.
“Just tell me how she’s doing. Please?”
He looks past me for a long moment then meets my stare. “She’s fine. She was pissed about me following her the other day.”
“She saw you? I thought I told everyone to stay out of her sight,” I groan in annoyance.
“I had no choice. She was almost run down by someone in a black Impala.”
My heart nearly jumps out of my chest as I jump out of my seat. “What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s like I said, you have no right to know about her life anymore. And besides, she made me promise not to tell you.”
“Then why are you telling me now?”
He shrugs. “As much as I don’t like your ass right now, we’ve been friends for a long time, and I know you still love and care about her.”
Sitting back down, I lean back in my chair and sigh. “We talked the other day at my parents’ anniversary party.”
He raises a brow. “Really?”
“Yes. I apologized for everything, and then, she apologized to me out of the blue. She apologized for not telling me about what almost happened to her at the house and how she wished she would have.”
“I wish she would have told you, too. All of this could have been avoided, and the two of you would still be together, the way it was supposed to be.”
“I asked her for another chance.”
“What did she say?”
A small smile spreads across my lips. “She said we could start over. That she doesn’t trust me, and things can’t go back to the way they were before—something I completely understand—but we can start over and take things slow.”
He scoffs and leans back in his chair. “I bet that just made your night.”
I nod. “It did.”
Sighing, he sits up straight and leans forward on my desk. “We have to talk about Jessica.”
Just hearing her name makes me want to shoot someone in the fucking face and watch them bleed out. I still can’t believe she’s the one behind Tabitha’s poisoning and her almost sexual assault.
“What about her?” I growl.
He clasps his hands together. “I got wind that she’s still in town.”
“Why are you just now telling me? Why didn’t you start with that?” I hiss.
He glares at me. “I was going to until you opened that fat mouth of yours.”
Taking a deep breath, I move around the desk to stand in front of him. “Where the hell is she?”
“She’s in some warehouse on Ricketts Avenue. Sammy and Danny are there now, keeping an eye on her until we get there.”
“Good. Let’s go,” I say, grabbing my coat.
“Jeremiah.”
We turn to see Tabitha, dressed in a little black dress, wearing a pair of red bottom heels, with her hair pulled up into a tight ponytail, standing in the doorway of my office. Holy fuck. She looks so goddamn amazing right now. I want to rip her dress from her body, bend her over my desk, and fuck her like I’ve never done before. I want to show her just how much I’ve really missed having her in my arms, in my life.
“Tabitha.” I take a step in her direction.
She eyes my coat. “Have I caught you at a bad time?”
I shake my head. “No, not really. Remy and I were just going to go take care of some business, but it can wait a bit longer.”
She shakes her head. “No, the two of you go ahead. This can wait.”
“Is everything alright? You’re not hurt, are you?” I ask, my eyes roaming every inch of her body I can see.
She chuckles. “No, Mr. Worry-too-much. I’m fine. I just wanted to speak with you about Jake and Melissa and taking them to Chicago next week.” She casts Remy a look. “But we can discuss it another time. The two of you look like you’re in a rush.”
I shake my head and go to deny what she said, but she holds up a hand to quiet me.
“It’s alright. I can wait,” she smiles. “Now, based off how anxious the two of you looked the moment I opened the door, does your ‘business’ have anything to do with Jessica?” she questions.
I chuckle nervously. “N-no. Not at all.”
She stares at me like she doesn’t believe me, and I know she doesn’t, but she doesn’t press it any further.
“Alright. I guess I’ll talk to you later. Care to stop by the house later so we can talk about Chicago?” she questions.
“Of course, I’ll stop by.”
“Good. Well, the two of you try not to work too hard.”
She pushes on her toes and kisses my cheek then moves to kiss Remy’s cheek. “It’s good seeing you, Remy.”
“You too, Tabitha,” he says.
She turns to me. “I’ll see you later, at seven. Don’t be late.”
“Never,” I say before she walks out of my office.
“I love that woman something strong,” I blurt.
“Well, if you want to get to her in time, we best get a move on it. You heard what she said. Don’t be late.”
“Alright. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
Past
Tabitha
(16)
Following Jeremiah and Remy isn’t as hard as I thought it would or could be. They made it way too easy with the big ass black SUV they’re driving around in. If they call that staying low, I’m going to have to give them a few pointers on how to blend in.
I slow to a stop a block from them and the warehouse they’ve stopped in front of. I watch Jeremiah climb out of the SUV first then Remy and the twins. Remy and the twins pull out guns, cock them, and then follow Jeremiah across the street and into the building. Quickly, I sprint down the block and toward the warehouse, making sure to stay as quiet as possib
le when I enter. As soon as I open the door and step inside, I’m hit with a foul smell. It smells like pipe water and dirty, wet socks. It smells horrible, and the smell is so strong I have to cover my nose and mouth.
Thank God, I used strawberry scented lotion on my hands.
Straight ahead, I can see the men’s shadows turn a corner, so I rush after them, making sure my steps are quiet. I don’t want to spook them and end up getting shot myself. I know if that happens, Jeremiah will blame himself and probably try and kill the person who accidentally shot me, despite it being an accident.
“What are you going to do when you see her?” Danny questions.
They’ve stopped outside a door with their guns drawn.
“What do you think? I’m going to put a bullet in her skull,” Jeremiah says before Danny kicks in the door, and the four of them barge into the room.
I cover my mouth with my hand at the sound of Jessica’s scream. She immediately starts begging him to spare her life. My heart falls into my stomach. He’s going to kill his best friend—the girl he’s known since they were in grade school. I can’t let him do that. Despite everything that bitch has put me through, I can’t let Jeremiah kill her. Her parents will never forgive him, and neither would I. Jeremiah doesn’t need Jessica’s death on his conscience.
I creep closer to the door to listen.
“Why the fuck would I let you live after everything you did to Tabitha? You poisoned her, you sent a rapist after her, and you helped destroy our relationship,” Jeremiah hisses. “You deserve to be punished.”
“Jer, please, don’t do this! Please, I’m begging you!” Jessica pleads.
“I don’t know what the fuck happened to you, nor do I care, but you fucked up when you went after the woman I love.” I hear the sound of his gun cocking. “Goodbye, Jessica.”
“What the hell! Jeremiah, no!” I scream, ramming my arm into the door, bursting into the room. “Don’t!”
He turns around, along with Remy and the twins, with wide eyes. He’s holding a silver .45 automatic caliber pistol in his hand and has it aimed right at a crying Jessica’s head. Tears and snot cover her face, and she’s being held by the twins.