by Jayna Morrow
Sparrow remained standing.
“I’m not a player.” His voice softened as if caught up in a revelation. “I used to be, but I finished sowing my wild oats a long time ago. Having a kid in high school will do that to a person. I may not have participated much in his raising, but I grew up a lot. My father put my sorry butt to work at the dairy, and I’ve come a long way. I’ve had relationships since then, but in the end, those ladies left me. I couldn’t give them what they wanted.” The memory of those losses left him feeling bereft. “I realize now that it was because none of those women were right for me. I couldn’t give them what they wanted because I didn’t have what they wanted.”
“What did they want?” She looked pained.
“Love.” He released the word into the room, and it bounced around before ricocheting off his gut and smacking Sparrow in the ears.
She visibly absorbed the shock of the hit with a jolt and her eyes widened.
“You couldn’t have convinced me of that at the time. I thought what I felt was real, but I’ve realized over the past few months that it was all a sham. I didn’t want to be alone, so I jumped into relationships.” Their gazes locked.
Sparrow looked away.
“I didn’t mean to take things so far with Lyra. And now I’ve earned the reputation of the player who got played.” He kept his gaze fixed on this amazing woman while he bared his soul.
Was she listening or working out an escape plan?
“Then you came into my life at a critical point. You are....so amazing...but you’ve also pointed out that I need to get my priorities straight. No matter what I feel for you, I’ve got to put Slade first. I need a relationship with my son.” He sucked in a deep breath and held it for several seconds before blowing it out. “Why did I have to go and kiss you?” The thought of that sweet kiss swept over him in a wave of sensation. It was as real as the moment it had happened, and his brain had it set on repeat.
Instinctively, he reached out a hand toward her. She accepted it, letting him draw her against him.
Then he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his cheek against her head. “I want to do this right, Sparrow,” he whispered. “Will you wait for me?”
“I want things to be right too.” Her voice was a mere shadow of itself. “Of course I’ll wait.”
“I didn’t intentionally hurt any of those women in the past.”
“I know that.”
He tilted her head back and gazed into her beautiful brown eyes. He longed to kiss her again, to feel her soft lips on his. But he meant what he’d said about doing things right. His natural urge was replaced with a sense of duty, to himself and to her. He was relieved when she stepped out of his embrace.
His cell phone chirped, startling them. The personalized ring tone repeated three times before Gabriel was able to locate his phone and answer it. “Holden. Well, isn’t this a surprise?” He couldn’t keep the sarcasm from his tone when he addressed his brother.
“Now is not the time for attitude or arguing. I’m calling about Slade.”
Slade? Gabriel collapsed into a chair next to the table.
Sparrow hovered against the counter.
His heart raced. “Is...is everything...OK?”
“He’s fine.” Holden paused, and Gabriel felt like jumping through the line. There was mumbling and shuffling in the background. Out with it, man!
“I’ve got to tell them, Slade.”
Was his brother talking to Slade right now?
“Lemme leave the room. Slade is being...well...Slade.”
Gabriel cupped the phone and looked at Sparrow. He whispered, “It’s my brother, Holden. He’s with Slade now.”
“What?” Holden questioned.
“Nothing. I was talking to someone else. Slade is there with you now? In Dallas?”
For a moment, the line crackled, and he thought they might lose the connection. This conversation was unbearable—a lot like dealing with his brother, Holden.
“OK. Maybe now I can talk without interruption. We’re not in Dallas. We’re in Bishop, at the hospital. Slade will be fine, but he was in an accident, and he’s injured. Still able to cause all sorts of trouble with me and the medical staff, but you know how he is.”
Gabriel nodded as if Holden could see it over the phone.
“I’ll explain everything when you get here. So get here.”
12
Until Holden’s phone call, Gabriel had only thought he understood the depth of a parent’s love. His child was in a hospital, injured. Like a sudden storm, an overpowering sense of helplessness attacked…swept him up, carried him away, and threw him down at high velocity. His heart slammed to the ground every time Sparrow pressed the brake. She couldn’t get to the hospital fast enough, but he was in no condition to drive.
He stared wide-eyed at Sparrow for a long moment, the phone conversation replaying in his head over and over again. If he opened his eyes, dizziness swirled in his stomach. If he closed them, memories of Slade as a baby, toddler, and young boy overwhelmed him.
Leaning his head back against the seat, he concentrated on breathing. And prayed. Not a prayer with words, but a prayer connection. He opened up his heart and mind and let God fill the void.
Their arrival at the hospital filled him with equal parts panic and relief.
They went straight to the room number Holden had provided.
Gabriel pushed the door open and peered inside. His brother sat next to the hospital bed where Slade slept.
Caught in the slice of light from the open doorway, Holden looked up and then jumped to his feet. “He’s fine,” he said in a low voice. “He’s just resting now. He has a broken collarbone, but no nerve damage in the arm. The doctor checked his lungs to make sure the broken bone hadn’t punctured them, and everything is clear with that. Slade’s really blessed.”
Gabriel felt completely numb. This was his fault. If he’d only been a better father... “What happened?” he asked weakly, unable to look his brother in the eye.
Holden glanced over at Slade before answering. He motioned for Gabriel and Sparrow to step into the hall. His brother shot a questioning glance in Sparrow’s direction.
“This is Sparrow Walker. She’s the principal at Slade’s school, and she’s been helping me look for him.”
Holden raised an eyebrow as if to say he knew Sparrow was more than that, or she wouldn’t be here at this hour of the night. “Nice to meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances.” He returned his attention to Gabriel. “After he ran away, he met up with some friends here in Bishop. They were camping out in the woods near the highway, living like bandits. They decided to make little houses in the trees, and he fell out. The other two boys brought him in, and then disappeared. The doctor said the collarbone is really easy to break. They’re just waiting for his guardian to sign papers so they can release him.”
“Why did the hospital call you and not me?”
“That’s the part I was referring to when I said Slade was causing all sorts of trouble. He didn’t have any identification, and he wouldn’t reveal his identity. When they threatened to involve the police, he wrote down my name, address, and phone number on a slip of paper. So they called me, thinking I was his guardian.”
Gabriel shook his head. “Sparrow and I visited the hospital. So did the police. They have his picture and information. Why didn’t anyone recognize him?”
Holden shrugged. “Shift changes. Employee illness and vacations. The hospital’s a busy place, Gabe, and there are always people missing. He’s only been here a few hours. They would have figured it out eventually. I flew in on my helicopter immediately after receiving the phone call. Didn’t know until I got here that you hadn’t been notified.”
“Why was he so insistent on getting in touch with you?”
“He said things were just too much at home, that you and he argued, and he wanted to come live with me.”
“Live with you? But you—” He furrowed his brow.
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t know what to say at first. I don’t have kids. I told him we’d discuss it after he got released from the hospital. He seemed satisfied with that.”
Gabriel took all the new information like a physical blow. His son was in the hospital because of him. Now the kid wanted to leave home and live with his uncle. Gabriel’s whole life was a mess, and it was his fault. Only a few months earlier, he’d stood at the front of his church in a tux, thinking he had everything figured out. Then his world came crashing down like a house of cards.
He’d made a lot of bad decisions in his life, which had affected everyone around him. The thought still had him by the throat as a woman in a white lab coat approached, a metal chart in her hands. She lifted the top sheet and glanced at the page, reviewing certain pieces of information.
“Good evening. I’m Dr. Bliss Ayers. I’ve been caring for Slade today. Are you his real father?” She put emphasis on her last words. Apparently, Slade had given her trouble as well.
“Yes, I’m Gabriel Hearth. I apologize for my son’s behavior. I understand he’s caused you all some trouble.”
A smile spread across her face. “I’m glad your brother got in touch with you. It’s true Slade’s been pretty difficult, Mr. Hearth. He’s gonna be fine, though. He’s ready to be released. I was just waitin’ for you to get here. If you’ll sign these papers, we’ll give this kid a good kick in the pants, and y’all can ride off into the sunset.” Her smile was a bit too cheery for the circumstances. But then again, she didn’t know the circumstances.
Gabriel was grateful for her sense of humor because it meant Slade was in no danger and would make a full recovery. He signed the required papers.
Dr. Ayers left them in the capable hands of a nurse in camo scrubs. She gently woke Slade and helped him get into a wheelchair. He would have to wear a brace for the next couple of weeks and take it easy, but he’d heal up nicely. The nurse handed him a prescription for pain but explained that he probably wouldn’t need it for more than a few days. She also explained that Slade would need help getting dressed and with other tasks for a while. Then she wheeled him out.
Sparrow pulled her car around to the front, but Slade got out of the wheelchair and walked right past it.
“I’m riding with Uncle Holden,” he announced. The grogginess of his voice did nothing to lessen the deliberate insult.
The angst continued.
Gabriel wasn’t sure if allowing Slade to stay with Holden would be beneficial or another example of poor judgment. He had to make a decision. But which one was right? He was afraid to decide. Up until recently, every choice he’d made regarding Slade had been the wrong one. He wanted to prove himself a responsible parent, so he needed to think this through and make the right choice.
Holden might not even want Slade to stay with him.
And Slade would surely find a way to blame Gabriel for that.
Everything Sparrow had taught Gabriel echoed in his brain. Was this another decision he should let Slade make, or should he step in and overrule him? This situation felt like a dangerous gray area. But if letting Slade stay with Holden was the only chance he had at saving his son, then he’d take it.
“If you’d rather ride in Uncle Holden’s flashy rental sports car, then go ahead. We’re going to the same place anyway. And when we get home, if he’s OK with it, I’ll help you pack.”
~*~
Gabriel arrived home twenty minutes later, and Sparrow parked her car in his driveway instead of her own. Holden parked his rented sports car beside Gabriel’s old truck. Two very different lifestyles, side-by-side.
“We’ll sort out all the details tomorrow.” Gabriel barely spared a glance toward Slade and his brother. “It’s too late to do anything tonight.”
Slade opened his mouth in protest but didn’t argue. Instead, he retreated to his room.
Gabriel got Holden settled into the guest room, where he could get some work done. His brother had always been a night owl and often worked odd hours. It wasn’t unusual for Gabriel to receive a text from him at two in the morning about something random. Once he was confident Holden had everything he needed, he and Sparrow stood on the front porch with a view of the stars. “What do you think about Slade going to live with Holden? Will it help him?”
“There’s no way of knowing what he hopes to gain by it, but I don’t think you should let him go. This is a critical time in his life, and you need to keep him close. Maybe you can get him to talk about it tomorrow after everyone gets some rest.”
“I’d like to get all the details sorted out now, including the issue with your broken window, but I’ve never felt so exhausted in my life. I really haven’t slept much since Slade left, if you don’t count my nap earlier.”
Sparrow’s sleepy eyes drooped, too. “You can’t always discipline teens in the moment because it makes them rebel more. Sometimes, it takes time and some soul searching. He’ll come around though. I know his heart.”
“I can’t believe you’re still here, after all Slade and I have put you through. I admire your strength, Sparrow. I’ve been preoccupied with Slade, but I’ve wanted to tell you that.”
She reached over and took his hand, lacing her fingers with his. “Thank you, Gabriel. Will you walk me home?”
“My former self would have asked you to stay, but the new and improved Gabriel is happy to walk you home.” A big smile spread across his face as he stood. “I want to do things the right way, and I want all the blessings that come with it.”
She returned his smile. “We will be blessed for it in the end. We need time to get to know each other. I look forward to a lot more hand holding though.”
“Absolutely. And sweet kisses?”
“On occasion, but only the sweet kind.”
“That’s the best kind, Miss Walker.” Holding her delicate hand in his, he walked Sparrow home, where he pulled her into a warm hug for a moment then let her go. “That won’t be the last hug you’ll receive from me either.”
“I hope not. Holding hands, sweet kisses, and warm hugs. Those things are approved.”
“Did we just make a deal? I feel as if I should shake your hand.”
They both laughed at his joke.
“Seriously though, I know how Christians are supposed to handle relationships. I’ve always wanted that. You’ve got to be the strong one for both of us. It’ll be hard, but worth the wait.” His gaze traveled the face of the woman he respected more than any other. When she turned those eyes the color of chestnuts on him, he was hopelessly lost. A person can attend church regularly and not walk the walk. Sparrow was inspiring him to do just that. God knew what He was doing when He brought this woman into his life.
“Good night, Miss Walker.”
“Good night, Mr. Hearth.”
~*~
Gabriel stared out over his crops with bleary eyes. He’d tried to help his son so he wouldn’t lose him, but now he was losing him in another way, to his brother. Not his choice for a solution, but still a better option than losing him altogether. Right? Then why was guilt weighing him down?
“May I join you?” Sparrow locked her front door and walked over to him.
He nodded, and she straddled his four-wheeler behind him. He turned the ignition key and revved the engine a couple of times. “Would you care for a grand tour of the property, pretty lady?”
He felt her nod against his back and heard the smile in her voice. “Yes, please.”
She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, and he sped off. He traveled on some of the shorter trails and showed her quite a bit of property. He wasn’t in a hurry to get back to the house. Holden was working on his computer and other gadgets, and Slade had still been sleeping when Gabriel came outside to find something to do. He stopped at a creek that ran through the property and shut off the engine.
They sat in silence for a few moments.
“Are you OK? You’re quiet.”
“Yes...” He str
uggled to say it.
“You’re a good father, Gabriel. You know your son and what he needs. I see that you’re also man enough to make the tough choice that’s needed, not necessarily the one your heart longs to hear. Slade will know you best by how you love him, and when you’re willing to sacrifice your wants for what someone needs...that’s the greatest love of all. I’m very proud of what I see in you.”
A lump formed in Gabriel’s throat. She was right, and she’d confirmed what his instincts had led him to decide.
The cool air had a bite to it. His lungs were chilled from the inside when he took a deep, cleansing breath. He needed to get some things off his chest. “I’ve been floating ever since the day Slade was born. I got all this family land that makes me seem like a grounded person, but the only thing grounded in my life is the ground itself.”
“I think I know what will help.” Sparrow climbed down from the four-wheeler and took his hands. “Can I pray for you and Slade?”
He nodded.
Sparrow didn’t waste another second. “Father, Gabriel needs You like Slade needs him. They are at a crossroads in their lives, and they need guidance. Your Word says that if a man owns a hundred sheep and one wanders off, that he will leave the ninety-nine and look for the lost one. Gabriel searched for his lost sheep and found him. Now that Slade is safely returned in body, I pray that You will do the same for his wandering heart. Slade needs to know Your love. He needs to know Your truth so that he can make good decisions in his life. Gabriel’s a good man. He’s Your man. He’s here, praying with me and believing in You in spite of everything that has happened in his life. He’s a fighter. Father, I know You will continue to be with him in his time of need. Amen.” She let her eyes flutter open and adjust to the sunlight. She released her grip on his hands.