Snuggling into the comfort of her bed, she prepared for the first honest conversation with Lucy in a very long time. When she answered, Hannah said, "It's your long-lost bestie calling. Can you talk?"
"Are you kidding? You're all I can think about these days. I wanted to call you so badly, but I know when you say you'll call, that you don't want to talk. How are you, honey?"
Hearing Lucy's voice lifted an enormous weight from Hannah's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Lucy. I should have gotten in touch, and I should have answered when you phoned me. I'm a mess and haven't been a very good friend."
"I love you. Don't worry about it. Tell me, how are you? How are you managing things right now?"
"I'm actually ..." It sounded horrible to say that she was feeling good, but it was the truth. Hell, Lucy would understand if Hannah explained. "Lucy, I'm better than I have been in a long time." She went on to tell her about packing Ty's belongings, hiring Alex, and her new sense of freedom from the pain of the past year.
Lucy said, "Honey, good for you. I'm going to speak ill of the dead. That bastard treated you bad, and you have every right to be happy that he's out of your life. I know you didn't want him to die, but that's the way it is. He talked awful to you, blaming you because you couldn't have babies. If I'd been a man, I would have beat his ass."
Hannah giggled. "Thanks, Lucy. I love you." After catching up on Lucy's life for a few minutes, Hannah ended the call. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the warmth of the sun's rays shining through the bedroom window. Like the sun, her heart had begun to glow after a long, bleak year of darkness.
With new determination, she decided to take an evening trip to Carlsbad the next day. What else did she have to do with her nights? It was time to buy some new clothes for the new her.
Alex had never seen her dressed up. Tingles rippled up her belly. Was it bad that she wanted to look pretty for him? She stood and peered in the dresser mirror. It had been a long time since she'd examined herself. She'd turn thirty next year—were those crow's feet starting at the corners of her eyes? She leaned closer. Nope, but, damn, she better start using moisturizer. That went on her list too.
Heading into the kitchen to set up coffee for the next morning, her thoughts returned to Alex. The handsome cowboy sure kept her mind busy lately. She imagined his lopsided smile and the intense look in his dark eyes when he spoke to her. Her nipples hardened, and she sucked in a breath. Damn, she'd definitely been too long without a man.
Chapter Four
THURSDAY MORNING, ALEX stacked the empty bucket in the barn and headed outside. Hannah stood waiting for him. They both turned as the sound of an engine came from far down the ranch drive. A cloud of dust approached. He said, "You expecting someone?"
"Nope. You?"
"No."
He waited, and the dust drew closer. A vehicle emerged, and he pulled his brows together. It couldn't be. Glancing at Hannah, he said, "I think I know who this is, but I don't understand why she's here." He started walking, anxiety flooding his stomach with acid.
The old sedan slowed, coming to a stop next to him. The window rolled down and he rested his hands on it. "Debra? Is Chloe okay? How did you find me?"
With a flashy smile, she pushed the door open and stepped out of the car. "Hi, baby, I found you!" She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.
He glanced back at Hannah.
She stared at the performance, expressionless.
Pulling Debra's arms from his neck, he bent to look inside the car. "How is Chloe? What is happening, Debra? Why are you here?"
Pouting, she said, "What? I need a reason to come see you?"
He sighed. "You never come to see me. Tell me, what is wrong?"
Angry now, she yanked open the back door and unstrapped Chloe from her car seat. "I told you I have a gig in Nashville." Pulling her daughter into her arms, she hugged her and thrust the little girl at Alex. "Now it's your turn. I can't take care of her anymore. I need to focus on my career. You're her daddy. You take her now." Relieved of Chloe, Debra pulled two small pink suitcases from the car and plopped them down in the dust.
Panic rose to his throat, and he swallowed hard. "Debra, I'll be riding soon. When will you be back?"
"I don't know. I may not be back. She's yours now. You figure it out. I've done it all on my own long enough."
"On your own? I help you. Debra, you can't do this."
She shrugged and yanked loose the belt that held the car seat, taking it out and dropping it on the ground. Slamming the door, she got back behind the wheel. "I'm doing it. You'll be fine. You've got daddy written all over you." Throwing the car in reverse, she spun the car around and sped back down the drive.
Chloe, who had been quiet through Debra's tirade, began to cry as she watched her mother leave.
Alex snuggled her close, patting her back. "Meu bebȇ menina." Bouncing his baby girl up and down, he left her bags where they were and walked over to Hannah. "This is terrible. Debra has abandoned her. I don't know what to do."
Chloe's crying faded, and she whimpered, finally becoming quiet and limp in his arms. As he patted her back, his mind worked furiously on the problem. He wanted to help Hannah, but he couldn't work and take care of his baby girl, too. "I'm sorry. When I said I would help you, I didn't know I would have my bebê."
Hannah bit her lip, looking steadily at his daughter. "Alex, I'll watch her today while you finish plowing the last field. We'll figure something out. I've got to get my wheat planted. Does that work for you?"
He expelled a long breath. It gave him time to figure out what the hell he would do with his precious little girl. Now that he'd had a couple of minutes to get used to the idea, he was happy.
Knowing it always made her giggle, he tugged on a lock of Chloe's long curly hair.
She turned her head, and her big blue eyes met his.
"Meu bebȇ, this nice lady is Hannah. She will take care of you while I work. I'll come back tonight. Mommy is far away. You will live with Daddy now."
Chloe stared at him. The poor little thing was so used to bouncing from one stranger to another while her mom sang, he figured this was nothing new to her. He hugged Chloe to him again. He'd give her a stable home, at least for now. God knew what would happen when it came time for him to ride again. He wouldn't think that far ahead. Right now, he must find a way to make the next few weeks work.
He handed his limp daughter over to Hannah. "Her name is Chloe. She can use the toilet. Thanks for your help. I'll talk to Todd. I hope to find something else for tomorrow."
Hannah's smiled gently as she cuddled the little girl in her arms. "We'll be okay. She can ride around with me today, and I'll work on my books after lunch so she can take a nap. We'll make out."
Hannah had eyes only for Chloe, and he smiled as he walked to his truck. His daughter would be fine with his boss for this one day. He glanced in his rear-view mirror as he drove off, and Hannah was placing his daughter's car seat in her truck. Despite the flutter of anxiety in his belly at his new responsibility, this was a good thing. He could now get to know his beautiful little daughter.
HANNAH PEEKED AT THE stoic little girl in the passenger side of her truck. She didn't speak, nor did she meet Hannah's eyes. That was okay. The tiny thing's life had just been turned upside down. Lord, she was gorgeous. Those kinky, curly curls, which were kind of medium brown, and her huge blue eyes radiated the essence of beautiful innocence. Hannah wanted to squeeze her and never let her go.
Hannah turned to her window as her chest tightened. She needed to let her go, though. She couldn't get attached to this sad little thing. If her mother didn't come snatch her back, Alex would take her away when the next PBR season started. God, she couldn't fall in love with this baby, no matter what. Her heart couldn't take losing a child. No, Hannah had to keep her distance. She took a quick look at the little girl, and Chloe stared back at her. Damn, how could she resist the little thing?
Hannah smiled and said, "Are you hungry, hone
y?"
Chloe nodded slowly.
"We'll stop by the house and make a snack. I'm kind of hungry too."
Tucking her lips inside her mouth, Chloe stared at Hannah.
Does she even talk? Maybe she's behind for her age. Alex should know. Hannah pulled into the driveway at the ranch house and waited for the dust to settle. "This is where I live. I'll unbuckle you, and we can find something to eat."
Hannah got out and opened the passenger door.
Chloe fiddled with her harness.
"Let me help you with that, sweetie." Freeing the child, she pulled her into her arms, and Chloe clung to her this time. God, it felt amazing. Chloe’s fragile little bones hardly had any meat on them. What had that damn woman been feeding her, anyway? Hold on, Hannah, don't be so judgey. The girl might be a picky eater. "Here we go, now. First, we'll both go potty. Then we'll eat."
Just in case Alex had been wrong about Chloe's toileting prowess, Hannah went first, setting an example. But she needn't have worried. As soon as she set Chloe on the toilet seat, the little girl let fly with a steady stream of urine. The poor thing had really needed to go. Good for her for holding it so long. Hannah pulled some paper off the roll. "Do you need help with this?"
Chloe slowly nodded assent.
Hannah took care of it, and they both washed their hands. Carrying the little girl to the kitchen, she asked, "Do you like ham sandwiches?"
Chloe rolled her lips inside her mouth.
Hannah got the idea this was her response when she felt unsure or shy. "How about peanut butter and jelly. Do you like that?"
She nodded.
"Right, that's what we'll have. And some chips and milk."
A few minutes later, when Hannah set food in front of the little girl, she moved at a speed that had been lacking since she arrived at the ranch. Her first bite was huge, washed down with a gulp of milk. The child must have been starving.
Hannah's heart clenched and she stared at her plate so that Chloe couldn't see her pity. As Hannah well knew, everyone needed their pride.
Chloe finished quickly and looked at Hannah.
"Would you like some more?"
"No."
She could talk! "Okay, honey. We'll come back here for lunch later. We can eat some more then."
Eating seemed to have broken a spell. The rest of the morning, though she spoke in monosyllables, Chloe answered when spoken to. Hannah thrilled at the sound of her soft little voice. A sharp ache deep inside of Hannah softened at the edges. She couldn't keep her hands off the little girl. Every few minutes, she was either smoothing her untamed hair, clasping her small hand, or patting her frail-seeming back.
At lunch time, they drove back to the house. This time she did fix ham sandwiches, cutting the meat up in small pieces so it would be easy to eat before putting it on the bread.
Chloe loved it, gobbling her sandwich down.
My God, wasn't the child ever fed? Hannah's picky-eater theory was going down the tube. This baby girl needed food. Hannah pulled an apple out of the fridge and cut it up. "I love apples. I'll bet you do, too."
As soon as it appeared on her plate, Chloe picked up a piece of apple and crunched into it, smiling for the first time.
That smile did something to Hannah. Ripples of pure joy swept through her, something she hadn't felt in a very long time. Oh God, how can I not become attached to this precious child? Tears pooled in Hannah's eyes, and she strode to the sink, hiding her face. All she'd ever wanted was a child like this, and that woman discarded her like an old pair of shoes.
Fury filled Hannah's chest, and she clutched the cabinet. It was so damned unfair. Why? Why did her body fail her in this? Biting her lip until she couldn't stand the pain, she forced the useless thought from her mind. She wouldn't go back to that dark misery again. She splashed her face with cold water and dried it with a paper towel. Enough self-pity. She could enjoy Chloe for weeks to come. Somehow, she also had to protect her heart.
HANNAH DROVE BACK TO the barn at four thirty and took Chloe out of the truck. Still holding the little girl, Hannah said, "I have to feed all these cows. Do you think you can walk with me while I do that?"
Chloe's eyes opened wide, yet she nodded slowly.
"You're very brave." Hannah set her on the ground. "Now you hold on right here." She handed the little girl the hem of her t-shirt and walked into the barn with Chloe at her side. Filling a bucket with cow cubes, she walked toward the pen beside the barn. "Don't let go now. We're going inside."
Chloe scrunched a bigger handful of Hannah's shirt into her fist but didn't lag behind.
The cows heard Hannah open the gate and headed in their direction. She said, "Don't worry, Chloe, it'll take them a while to get over here." Hannah held the bucket down low when they got to the feeder. "Why don't you grab some cubes and dump them in there."
Chloe reached inside and grabbed two of the big cow cubes, dropping them in the metal feeder, looking pleased with herself.
Hannah slung the cubes all through the long feeder, plucking Chloe into her arms as the first hungry cow barged in and ducked her head into the feed.
From her safe perch, Chloe eyed the cows with interest. Hannah headed back to the gate. "You're a good helper, and a very brave one, too." Without thinking, she pressed a quick kiss to Chloe's cheek.
Chloe stared at her.
Hannah asked, "Do you remember my name?"
Chloe shook her head.
"I'm Hannah. You can call me Hannah, okay?"
Chloe nodded.
"You tell me when you need something, and I'll help you, honey."
The two of them had just finished feeding when Alex drove up.
He jumped out as soon as he put the truck in park. "Thank you, Hannah. I'm so sorry."
Hannah picked up Chloe, her stomach suddenly in knots. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Alex. Chloe was wonderful today. I was able to take care of everything I had planned." She turned to Chloe. "We were just fine, weren't we?"
Chloe opened her mouth and looked from Hannah to her father, then sucked on her fingers.
Pressing Chloe's face to her chest, Hannah said, "It's okay, baby, you don't need to answer." She looked Alex in the eyes. "I'd be glad to take care of Chloe during the day. It won't be a problem. She even helped me feed tonight. She's smart and knows how to take directions. She's potty-trained and took a good nap today. I don't see any reason why it won't work out." Hannah's pulse raced, every muscle in her body tense.
He narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure, Hannah? Taking care of Chloe is a lot of work. You're busy."
She let out a breath. "I'm sure. We got along great. And it's not forever, right?" Saying that sent a knife-like pain through her chest. Damn, what was she doing getting so involved? Gusting out a sigh, she decided she didn't care. All she knew was this little girl was hers. At least for now.
Alex shrugged. "Okay. Thank you, Hannah. I'll bring her in the morning." He held out his arms. "Come here, bebȇ."
As Chloe's little arm slid from Hannah's neck, aching need settled in her heart. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm already too attached. She stepped back woodenly and turned away. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alex." Unable to watch the child drive away, she headed into the barn. In the next fifteen hours she'd better get it together. If she didn't, she was lost.
Chapter Five
HANNAH HAD LOVED SPENDING the past few days with Chloe, and telling her goodbye Friday afternoon had been hard. By noon on Saturday, she missed the little girl something awful. The only thing that gave her solace was the fact that she would see her at six at the barbeque.
Yesterday, after Alex drove off with his daughter, Hannah had headed to Carlsbad and bought clothes, and not just for the barbeque. Her wardrobe now contained several blouses, new t-shirts and jeans, a beautiful straw Stetson, since her current one looked like something the cat drug in, and she even bought a dress.
But those purchases weren't what excited Hannah. While in the western store buying her W
ranglers, she bought some tiny jeans, teensy boots and socks, and several t-shirts that would fit Chloe's little frame. Though the girl's mother had dropped her off with two small suitcases, when Alex opened them, they held mostly blankets and stuffed animals. Chloe desperately needed clothes.
Hannah finished repairing the fence a cow ran through that morning, and by the time she got back to the house she needed to get ready. Her pulse picked up speed as she anticipated seeing Alex. The past few days, while watching him with Chloe, her attraction had grown. He adored his daughter, holding her with tender hands and speaking to her in such a gentle voice.
So, she took care with her appearance, even wearing makeup and curling her long hair. Inspecting herself in the mirror, she admired the new turquoise blouse which set off the color of her copper curls. Her concealer helped cover the dark circles under her eyes. After adding some turquoise earrings, she grabbed her purse.
Surprised, she found herself nervous on the ride to Todd's place. Would Alex think she'd dressed to impress him? Actually, she had, but she was his boss, how embarrassing if he figured it out. Wouldn't she have dressed special anyway, if it had just been Todd and Becky? Biting her lip, she considered that one. The answer was probably, so she was okay.
Becky came out to greet Hannah when she drove up, and called, "Hi there. Come on in."
Hannah grabbed the gift bag and her purse and stepped out of the truck, her pulse picking up speed. This was her first time to visit Todd and his family. They lived in a long, low ranch house with tan siding, perfect for their desert surroundings. "Hi, Becky. I brought some things for Chloe."
"Everyone's out back." Becky gave Hannah a hug and led her through the house which had a distinctive western flair.
Cowboy For A Season (The New West) Page 3