Dammit, what was he thinking? He’d ridden those three bulls today because of Hannah. Some of the darkness in his mind lifted. He didn't have to figure it all out now. The most important thing was, he knew he wouldn't be leaving Barbwire right away. That changed everything.
Now he had the perfect opportunity to do something about the mess Debra made of Chloe's life. He didn't have a plan yet, but he would make some big changes.
Calmer now, he tipped his hat forward and leaned his head back against the headrest. Closing his eyes, he let his thoughts drift to Hannah. His riding days were over, but if this special woman accepted him, his new life would be even better.
Chapter Eleven
WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON, Hannah stood and dusted off her hands. The wheat had grown well after the recent rains. Her luck might be turning. As she headed back to her truck, her phone rang. Stepping up her pace, she answered before it stopped ringing. "Hello?"
"Hannah, I got back early. Is it okay to come over tonight, about eight o'clock?"
Her heart pounded. Working by herself the last three days had been terribly lonely. What would she do when Alex left for good? "Is something wrong?"
He laughed. "No, Hannah. But this is important."
How she loved his laugh, and how she would miss it. "Of course, please come."
"Thanks. I'll see you."
She could hear the smile in his voice as he hung up. What the heck was going on? Hopefully he would tell her why he'd needed these past days off. By eight, he would have eaten, and Chloe wouldn't be with him. What was so important that it couldn't wait until he came to work in the morning?
She couldn't help it. Her whole body throbbed, anticipating his arrival. He didn't appeal to her just because he was a handsome cowboy. Alex was gentle and kind, tender and loving, and he tried so hard to understand her feelings. She'd never imagined a man could be like him. Despite an occasional language barrier, they were completely in tune with each other.
After feeding at the barn, she headed back to the house to clean up.
By seven thirty, she sat on the couch, drinking her first bourbon of the day and listening to the staccato tapping of her boot. Little tingles kept sweeping up her torso each time she thought of Alex, and, of course, she couldn't keep her mind off him. She was well and truly sunk. He had embedded himself so deeply in her heart, his leaving would devastate her. Tonight, she couldn't regret caring for him.
She stood and paced the room, taking a gulp of Maker's Mark. When had she ever been this reckless with her emotions? Her mother raised her to be a careful child, and she'd stayed that way. But when she was with Alex, she forgot caution. He made her want more for herself, even when she knew she couldn't have more. She was crazy, and she didn't care. At least for tonight.
Headlights shone in the window, and she strode to the door, throwing it open. In the porchlight, Alex's broad shoulders emerged from the truck. She shivered, holding herself back from stepping outside.
He waved and reached back inside, coming out with a vase of flowers. As he came up the sidewalk, she saw that they were yellow roses.
How had he known she loved yellow roses? She smiled, an intense joy rising in her. Alex intuited things about her as no man ever had. She pushed the storm door wide. "They're lovely. Thank you. Come inside."
Grinning, he said, "Yellow will look beautiful with your hair, Hannah. I want to take a picture of you." He stepped past her and walked toward the kitchen.
A picture. Really? She reached up and smoothed her curls, hoping she still looked okay.
"The light is bright here." He positioned her in front of the table and pulled out his phone. "You’re beautiful, Hannah. Stand still." Snapping a picture, he moved in closer and snapped another one. "I won't show it to you because you're a woman. You won't like it." He fiddled with his phone for a few seconds. "Ah, both are perfect. Thank you, Hannah. Now I can see you whenever I want."
She felt herself blushing. "Did it really turn out okay?" Having him here, standing close to him, was almost overwhelming. Her body buzzed with desire, and he was just being nice.
"Are you kidding me? Of course, it did."
She groaned and sniffed a rose. "It smells heavenly, Alex. Thank you so much. I can't remember the last time I got flowers."
He quit smiling and looked into her eyes. "You should receive many flowers. I'll change that." He paused. "Can we talk?"
Taking the vase from her, he set them on the table and clasped her hands.
Her pulse raced. He couldn't be leaving. It wasn't time yet. Please, God. Would she get to say goodbye to Chloe?
She must have looked as terrified as she felt because he pulled her into a hug. "Hannah, it's okay. Meu deus, you're trembling." He led her into the living room and sat on the couch, pulling her down on his lap. Brushing her hair back from her face, he said, "I have news." Over the next ten minutes, he told her about his experience at Jody's and his decision to end his career.
When he finished, she saw through his brave words to the sadness inside him. Turning his face so she could meet his gaze, she asked, "Are you okay, Alex?"
Gusting out a breath, he said, "I'll miss it, Hannah. I didn't think I would finish bull riding this way." He smiled at her. "I'm also happy. Now I don't need to leave you." Then he frowned. "Unless you want me to go."
Her heart thudded. Joy raced through her veins. He wasn't leaving! She pulled him to her and kissed him hard, proving how much she wanted him.
When she took a breath, he laughed. "Okay, I'll stay." Cuddling her close, he said, "I learned something else while I was away."
He caressed her cheek, smiling into her eyes. "I love you, Hannah. You make me happy."
The love for him she'd been denying for so long swept through her, leaving her breathless. Overwhelmed, voice shaking, she said, "I love you, too, Alex. I always have."
He stood, lifting her into his arms, and strode toward the bedroom. Setting her on the bed, he yanked his shirt out of his Wranglers while toeing off his boots. Laughing, he said, "This time, I'll let you take your clothes off, Hannah."
Her t-shirt over her head, she called, "Already on it."
Fingers trembling in her haste, she stood and dragged her jeans down, forgetting she still had her boots on. Growling, she sat down and kicked them off, then slid her jeans to the floor.
Alex stood before her, naked and, God, was he standing proud.
He caught her looking and pulled her to her feet. "Come here. You forgot something." He quickly slipped her bra off and tossed it on the floor." Kissing her hard, impatiently, he said, "Take off your panties, Hannah. I want to look at you."
As he moved back, she slid them down her thighs and stepped out of them.
His gaze began at her face, lingering and slow, inching its way down her body.
She shivered as if he were touching her and fought to stand still.
At last, he looked into her eyes, cupping her face in his hands. "Hannah, will you marry me? Please, Hannah, will you make me a very happy man?"
She leaned toward him, hot waves of joy flooding her until she couldn't breathe. Her knees wobbled and she placed her hands on his chest to steady her. "Alex." Tears ran down her face. "Yes, I'll marry you. I love you so much."
He picked her up and gently laid her on the bed. As he lay beside her, he said, "Hannah, I'll always take care of you. What Ty did, I will never do. Maybe we will not make babies, but Chloe needs you. I must talk to Debra. Chloe can't live as she did in the past."
Hannah's eyes widened as hope burst alive inside her. Did he mean they might have Chloe? "Your daughter needs a stable life, I agree with you. I know you can manage that for her." She wanted to beg him to take Debra to court, plead for him to do anything it took to make sure Chloe lived with them. But she stayed silent. Alex would do what was right for his daughter.
He leaned down and kissed her so softly she almost didn't feel it. "Hannah, I want to ask you something, but it will hurt when you tell me."
/> Her heart lurched and started to pound. That could mean anything. She didn't want to hurt right now. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "What?"
He trailed his finger between her breasts and circled her belly button, then met her gaze. "The doctor, he operated on you and then he said you could get pregnant. But you didn't."
Pain stabbed her in the chest. That failure had ruined her marriage. "Yes, he said I had a fairly good chance of getting pregnant after he removed all the cysts, but we tried and tried, and nothing happened. The doctor had no explanation for why I was barren."
Alex kissed her fingers, holding her gaze. "I think your husband was not the right man to make you pregnant. He didn't love you enough." He kissed her again, lingering over her lips. "We will not play doctor, Hannah. If you are pregnant, we will be happy. If you are not, we will be happy, too."
A huge wave of relief flooded her. She couldn't face another marriage filled with trying to get pregnant, or face losing her husband because he got tired of trying and couldn't fulfill her dreams. "I'll be happy with you and Chloe, Alex."
He rolled over and kneed her legs apart. "Enough, Hannah. Tomorrow we talk about our wedding. Tonight, we make love."
She laughed and rose to kiss him, her heart full of joy, and for the first time in years, looking forward to her future.
Chapter Twelve
THE FOLLOWING TUESDAY, Alex held a wire taut as Hannah tightened it around the fence post in front of her. Todd and Becky were ecstatic for them both when he shared his news. The past few days had been a whirlwind of activity. Hannah wanted a small, private wedding, mostly because it had been such a short time since Ty's passing. Though everyone in town knew of his blatant infidelity, she still wanted to keep her ceremony low key.
Todd's son would be the ring bearer, and Chloe, the flower girl. Hannah's friend, Lucy, was coming from Dallas as the Matron of Honor. Todd was his Best Man. Jody and a few of his Brazilian friends were coming down, and, of course, Hannah's parents would attend.
When he could let go of the wire, he tugged on a lock of Hannah’s hair. "Have you decided where I'm taking you on our honeymoon yet?" Todd had offered to take care of the ranch for them.
She laughed. "My tastes are pretty simple. Where do you want to go?"
"Oh, no. You pick."
"At least tell me what you like to do, Alex."
"I like the ocean."
She grinned. "Hey, so do I. We could go to Padre Island."
He screwed up his face. "What? Stay here in Texas? You don't want to travel? Anyway, it's cold there now." He wanted to give her an amazing honeymoon. Spoil her rotten.
She threw her head back. "Ugh! Let's go to a warm ocean, then. I'll be happy wherever you are, Alex." Clapping her hands, she said, "So, that's decided. Now, plan away, my love." She pulled him close and planted a kiss on his lips.
He deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her off her feet. When he leaned back, he said, "I like working for you, Hannah. I can kiss you when I want."
She smiled and narrowed her eyes. "About that. We need to talk finances, at some point. Once we're married, I can't keep paying you wages. We'll be partners."
"Hannah, I have money—"
"Which you worked hard for. Why don't we speak to a financial manager and an attorney, so we can figure out a way to make this work."
He grinned and gave her a quick kiss. "Okay, boss lady. Sounds good." As he bent to pick up his plyers, his stomach growled.
She laughed. "It must be lunch time. Let's take a break."
Nowadays, they went back to the ranch house for lunch, so that's where Hannah headed. As they approached the barn, his eyes widened. Debra's car was parked in front and the woman sat on an upturned bucket in the shade.
Hannah, her voice shaking, said, "Isn't that—"
"Yes."
"Did she call?"
"No."
Hannah clenched the wheel like she wanted to strangle it as she pulled up.
He said, "Let me handle her. I'll go to the house in a little while."
Hannah stared at him, her face pale.
He squeezed her hand. "Be calm, now. Don't worry."
He got out and waited until she drove off before approaching his ex-wife, who now stood, waiting for him. He came to a stop in front of her, hands on his hips. "How are you, Debra?"
Crossing her arms over her ample breasts, she said, "I've been better."
Nodding, he said, "We will talk in my truck."
Once they were settled inside, he asked, "What happened?"
She blushed dark pink and started to cry. "I'm so embarrassed. My big break was a big fat lie. I was a glorified cocktail waitress, and the only singing I got to do was with a karaoke machine while the real band was on break." She sniffed and wiped her eyes with a tissue from her purse. "The place was a dive. One of the girls let me stay on her couch for fifty bucks a week, and it took me all this time to save up gas money to get back here."
What surprised him was she hadn't called him for money. Even if her own phone was out of minutes, she could have borrowed one. "I'm sorry, Debra."
She blew her nose. "Alex, this made me realize I'm fooling myself. I'm not a real singer." She sniffed again and looked down at her fingers. "Just because you want to be, it don't mean you are, you know?"
That gave him an idea. Something that might solve all their problems. "Debra, did you ever want a different job? If you didn't sing, what would you do?"
She stared at him, a faraway look in her eyes. "When I was little, I wanted to be a hair dresser. Then this boy in high school told me I had a great voice, and I forgot all about it."
His pulse climbing, he asked, "Would you still like to dress hair?"
"I think so, but you have to go to school and stuff, and I can't do that."
He reached out and clasped her hand. "Debra, I would like to help you, and I need your help, too."
Her eyes narrowed. " You need my help?"
He had to convince her. Thinking quickly, he said, "Yes, I do. I'll tell you what I want so you can think about it while I tell you how I can help you. I want custody of Chloe. I can't ride bulls now, so I'll live in one place where Chloe will have a good life."
Debra's jaw dropped. Chloe had been her cash cow for two years.
He must sell Debra on the advantages of giving him custody. "I'll pay for your hair dressing school. Also, while you're in school, I'll give you $1,000 each month. You must work a little, but many people do this. While you're in school, I'll pay for you to come visit Chloe one weekend each month. While you study, you will not need to take care of a small child or pay for her child care, and you will be successful."
Debra looked out her window and was silent for so long he didn't think she would answer him.
He waited. Debra was a good person. This was a huge decision, and he didn't want to threaten her. Nor would he let his daughter leave with his ex-wife. He would give Debra all the time she needed to understand that this was the right thing for her and for Chloe.
At last, she turned to him. "Thanks for not taking me to court, or something like that. I know I haven't been the best mom sometimes. I love Chloe. She'll be happy with you, Alex. I'll take your offer."
He heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Debra." Pulling out his wallet, he handed her $500. "There is one hotel in town. Stay here a few days. I'll have an attorney make papers for us." He squeezed her hand again and opened his door.
A couple of minutes later, as Debra sped down the drive, he thanked God for giving him his little girl.
Chapter Thirteen
HANNAH CLUTCHED HER father's arm and sucked in her tummy, her smile beaming up to the pulpit at her husband-to-be as she strode down the aisle. The front pew on Alex's side was full of tough PBR cowboys. Her two pews were filled with more people than she had anticipated. Her mom asked to invite a few of her life-long friends, and Hannah relented. After all, with her brother's death, this would be the last wedding for her mother
.
Alex, looking devilishly handsome, grinned as her father led her up the steps.
The pastor asked in a loud voice, "Who gives this woman's hand in marriage?"
Her father said, "I do," and placed her hand in Alex's calloused palm.
As her father stepped down the steps and returned to her mother's side, the pastor motioned to them. "Please stand before me."
Alex tucked her hand at his elbow and led her to their place in front of the pastor.
The pastor spoke to them about the responsibilities of marriage as her mind wandered to the lavish honeymoon Alex had planned for them on Bora Bora, in French Polynesia. Seriously. Bora Bora. She would have been happy with Padre Island. As soon as he made reservations, she'd applied for a passport, and it barely came in on time. But she was looking forward to a every second on the exotic island with her new husband.
Fidgeting, Alex covered her hand with his. Her cowboy wasn't very good at standing still.
At last, it was time for their vows. When Todd handed Alex her ring, he held it to her finger and began in his beautiful, deep voice, "Hannah, in your eyes, I have found my home. In your heart, I have found my love. In your soul, I have found my mate." He paused and smiled at her. "With you, I'm whole and alive. You make me laugh. You let me be sad. You're my breath and my heartbeat." Pausing again, he said, "Hannah, meu amor, I promise to cherish and respect you, to care for and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and to stand by your side, forever." He smiled and slid the ring on her finger, gripping her hands as he looked into her eyes.
She couldn’t imagine loving this man any more than she did this moment. His wonderful, expressive eyes told her he meant every word of his vows. She wiped her eyes, which had filled with tears, and took his ring from Lucy. Slipping it partway on Alex's finger, she met his gaze, and said, "Alex, you've made me feel more loved than I ever thought possible. I give you all that I am and all that I have. Just as I give you my hand to hold, I give you my heart, my faith, and my life. I choose you today. And I would choose you again tomorrow. I would go on choosing you every day for the rest of our lives. You're my once-in-a-lifetime. I love you, and I'll always carry you in my heart."
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