by D T Dyllin
“Didn’t seem to me like he wasn’t interested in you. He swore a Talsen oath. Wait.” Jane propped herself up on her elbows, her mouth hanging open. “Are you trying to tell me that Kade, that massive slice of Talsen goodness, is a virgin?”
Twirling a piece of hair around my finger, I gazed up at the ceiling. “By the strictest definition. We did … other things.” My skin flushed at the memories. Kade was quite skilled with his mouth and tongue … and his fingers … Also his—
Jane threw her head back, cackling. “Never thought I’d see you go all dreamy over a guy.”
“Shut up!” I snapped. “I’m not all dreamy over him.” Or was I?
Jane frowned as she studied me. “You know I only tease you because I love you, right? I’m not good with emotional shit either.” I opened my mouth to respond, but she waved me off. “But in all seriousness, Zula, if you feel this strongly about him after you get that thing out of your head … well, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t turn you down then. I’d be cautious, too, if I was in his position. I’d be terrified of bonding with someone who could end up not giving a shit about me. Then where would it end? You’d have a dragon Talsen stalker most likely. And I’m thinking those are the worst kind.”
“We’ve only spent a few days together. I hardly know him.”
Jane quirked an eyebrow. “And I only knew Ash for a few hours before he was under my skin, figuratively and literally. I fought it, too. But the truth is, sometimes connections are formed that go beyond reason or logic. Matters of the heart don’t follow rules, it’s the mind that does.”
Cupping the back of my neck, I scrunched up my nose. “This thing needs to come out pronto! You’re actually beginning to sound like you know what you’re talking about.”
“Fine, whatever.” Jane stood, brushing off her clothes. “Ash owes me another Steampunk outfit, he refuses to show me what I’m doing wrong when I go into flame form. He thinks I should figure it out on my own.” She tugged at a part of her skirt, which came off in her hand. “He’s ruining my wardrobe.”
“Maybe you should stop worrying so much about your Earth ensembles. You know, because you weren’t born on Earth. Plus, the whole Steampunk look was pulled from Earth fiction, it has nothing to do with actual history.”
Flames erupted behind Jane’s irises as she narrowed her eyes at me. “I’ll take that into consideration, Smurfette.” She stalked past me in a huff, and I took the opportunity to rip off another tattered piece of her skirt.
I waved the charred material after her. “You forgot something!” Sniggering, I dropped it to the ground.
“I don’t have a cleaning service on Baby, you might want to pick that up.” I lifted my gaze to Kade, who was lounging against the wall a few feet in front of me. He was too attractive for his own good. My mouth actually pooled with saliva at the sight of him.
Swallowing convulsively, I waved him off. “It fits in perfectly with all the rest of the junk in there.”
“None of it’s junk. It’s spare pieces. You never know when I might need some of that.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Mmm hmm. Well, I guess since we’re doing this whole bounty thing, we need to figure out exactly how we want it to go down, and then a backup plan for when everything goes to shit.”
Kade pushed of the wall, his face a mask of determination. “I’ll protect you.”
I wrapped my arms around my middle to keep from reaching out to him, my hearts picking up in speed. “I believe you.”
Jane and Ash had gone back to The Pittsburgh, leaving Kade and me alone on Baby for the remainder of the journey to my home planet of Xianfrey. Nerves caused my stomach to bubble with anxiety, both of my hearts beating furiously without pause. Not even Kade could manage to distract me from what felt like impending doom. I knew logically that the odds weren’t favorable for me escaping unscathed, but normally that fact wouldn’t have sent me spiraling towards a panic attack. I would have simply planned for the inevitable, and accepted the probable repercussions.
“Hey, LaLa, did you hear a word I just said?”
“Huh?” I rocked back in my seat, the leather creaking as I kept my gaze fixated on the navigation system. I was currently serving as Kade’s second in command, lounging beside him in his tiny flight deck slash control room. With each second we drew closer to my inevitable fate. Stop. Galvrarons aren’t this dramatic. Mind over body, even if that mind is currently compromised.
“How about we play twenty questions?”
“Jane told you how much I love that game, didn’t she? Or did you learn that little tidbit from having our ship bugged?” It was one of the few things Jane had picked up from Earth culture that I enjoyed. Anything that enabled me to gather information, even if it was under the guise of a game, was something I was on board for.
He whirled in my direction, kicked back, and stretched out his long legs to rest his boots on the edge of my chair. “You could ask me that … if we play.”
“Game on. I’ll go first.” Shoving his feet off the armrest, I swiveled to face him. “How did you bug our ship? And for how long?”
He tilted his head in acquiescence. “That counts as two questions, but I’ll answer. You deserve to know the truth.” He slid his eyes closed, and tapped his chin, as if he was considering his responses. After a moment he leaned forward, his gaze finding mine as his lids snapped open. “I’ve been tracking you, my dear little LaLa, since you ran away from your life on Xianfrey. Getting a bug on The Pittsburgh wasn’t an issue back before you were so careful. I was just surprised the Gartians didn’t find it when they did the overhaul.”
“But that’s— I left years ago. You’ve been tracking me for years? Why? Did my parents hire you to keep tabs on me? None of this makes sense.”
“I’ll count that as another two questions. Yes, I’ve been tracking you for years, but it has nothing to do with your family, at least not in the way you think.”
Gripping the edge of my seat, I dug my nails in the worn leather to keep myself in place. I needed information while Kade seemed so willing. “Why are you being honest with me now, when you’d only give me bits and pieces, clues really, before?”
“Let me finish question four before I answer five.” His lips twisted into his signature smirk, dimples appearing. “As for why? Although it wasn’t for your family, it was because of them, or rather specifically because of your brother. And I’m being honest with you now because Ash told me—” He turned his head and cleared his throat. “Well, he told me that maybe I’d stand a chance with you if I actually tried. He said that telling you the truth would have to be the first step, so here I am.” He laid his hands on his knees, palms up. “I’ll answer anything you want. Anything. No matter how hard it if for me to share.”
“What do you mean because of my brother? Because of what he did to you? I thought you were grateful, except for the forced celibacy thing. I don’t understand.” I tugged my hair, fighting a scream of frustration. “I’m not equipped to handle this emotionally right now.”
Kade was on his knees, in front of me in a flash, his golden gaze imploring. “Please, I’ve opened the flood gates and I want to tell you everything. I need for you to know. Especially if I might not see you again after all of this.”
Reaching out a wavering hand, I ran it through his onyx locks. His expression was open, vulnerable. “Okay. Talk. Tell me everything.”
He nodded eagerly, hope flitting across his features. “As you know, being spliced with dragon DNA has some side effects. I simply didn’t tell you all of them.” He swallowed audibly, his Adam’s apple dancing up and down in his throat. “Male dragons can form attachments, permanent attachments, no sex required. When that happens, they feel compelled to protect, to follow, to do whatever they can to protect the object of their obsession. I’m not sure why or how it happened, I researched it, but little is known about dragons, and finding one in the flesh has proved impossible so far, but I—”
“Stop. Just stop and brea
the. You’re simply blathering now. I need you to explain succinctly, please.”
Kade pulled himself to his feet, pacing to the entranceway of the flight deck and back. “Something shifted in me when my treatment was completed. At first it was just your song running through my mind … and then it was you. It began as a feeling like curiosity. What had happened to the Galvraron girl who’d showed me such kindness when I hadn’t even known I’d needed it? Then it was more, I wanted to check up on you, protect you … know all there was to know about you.” He halted, his hands drilling into his hair. “I was obsessed … am obsessed. And I can’t stop it. Nothing I’ve done has even distracted me.”
“I don’t … I don’t understand.”
Kade was back on knees in front of me, clutching at my legs. “At first I was obsessed, and then somewhere along the line I fell in love with you.”
Jumping up to the top of the chair, I scrambled to get away from him, falling end over end and landing on my ass. “You’re insane. We met once as kids. You can’t love me.”
Kade remained where he was, the chair obscuring him from view. “That’s what I told myself. Repeatedly. On an endless loop. Talsen don’t fall in love like that, if they do at all. But it’s true. I fell in love with you. I am in love with you.”
My hearts pounded against my eardrums, my head spinning. “Let’s pretend for a minute that I believe y-you love me. Explain the rest. You claim to have been following me for years, but you never made contact until you were forced to, and then when I wanted to have sex with you—me, the woman you claim to love—you turned me down because you were afraid of bonding with me. No. None of this makes sense.”
“I’ve only given you partial truths up until now. I told you about the song. How I’ve kept it with me. And I told you how I haven’t had sex with any women because I didn’t want to bond with them. True and true. But not being with you was for a different reason. If I— If we … fuck—” The chair shifted, dipping towards me. “If I’m this obsessed now, if I fell in love with you simply from listening to your conversations and watching you from afar, how bad would it get if we had sex? How bad would it be if—”
“You bonded to me, and then I walked away after the plate was taken out? I’m guessing it would destroy you.”
Standing, I peered down at Kade, who had his face pressed into the cushion of the seat. “Again, I’m going to ask, why are you telling me all of this now?”
He thumped his fist against the seat, startling me. “Because Ash knew, he somehow knew. Told me I was screwed either way so there was no point in fighting it anymore, that staying away from you guaranteed my misery, but if I actually tried, put in a real effort then maybe, just maybe …”
“What are you really saying? That you want to fuck me to see what happens?”
He lifted his head to meet my gaze. “No. Yes. I mean, of course I want you in that way. I think you already know that part, but I want … I want to try to have something real with you.”
Staggering back from the intensity in his eyes, I caught myself against the wall. “This is … unexpected.” Galvrarons didn’t settle down for love. The concept was laughable to my kind. We mated for the furtherment of our species, couples chosen for the best possible genetic combinations. Sex was had for children or for release. Emotions never played a factor. Except for me. Even though I’d sublimated my urges, my longings, they’d always been there. What if I could have the things I’ve always wanted with Kade? I wouldn’t have to pretend to be someone else with him. And he knew me, through and through apparently. But what do you know about him, besides the fact that he’s a stalker?
Kade crawled across the floor on his hands and knees, completely laying his pride aside. “Tell me what I have to do to get you to give me a chance. A real chance. Please, LaLa, I’ll do anything.”
“I don’t know what to make out of any of this. It’s not something I thought possible.” I gnawed the inside of my cheek, tasting copper. “It’s too much right now. I’m sorry, Kade. I can’t— I don’t know how you expected me to react.”
“Is it because you thought I was more interested in your family’s money than you? Because it was a lie. An excuse. I wanted to push you away because I was afraid of what would happen between us if I didn’t. I want you so much it hurts, and I think that’s the dragon in me, but the Talsen … hell, you terrify the shit out of him.”
“I’ve already figured as much about that. It’s just, what if I say yes now, and I feel completely different after the plate is removed? We both know it’s a possibility.”
He wrapped his arms around my legs, resting his head against my sternum. “I’m willing to risk it now. At least if your feelings change I know you won’t be cruel. You’ll still be you. I could, I don’t know, be your bodyguard. I just want to be near you. That’s all I’ve wanted, just to be near you.”
If I hadn’t studied the mating bond anomalies between species such as the phoenix, I would have thought Kade desperate, pathetic. And yes, I suppose he was a little of both, but it wasn’t his fault. Just like the plate altered things in my brain to make me lose control, to do things I normally wouldn’t consider, the dragon DNA did the same thing to Kade. Maybe he did love me, but he never would have stalked me if he hadn’t been driven to, therefore he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to fall for me like he claims to have if not for his altered genetics.
Sliding down the wall, I opened my arms to Kade, who was quick to let me envelope him. “Let’s just get me off of Xianfrey in one piece first, and then we can revisit this subject.”
His face shifted into my hair, his breath warming my neck. We stayed like that for an uncertain amount of time, lounging in each other’s arms, when abruptly Kade jumped his feet, grinning down at me. “So it’s not a no. I can live with that.” He offered me his hand, yanking me to my feet. “Yeah, I can definitely live with that.”
Confused by everything that had just happened, including my own reactions, I froze where I was, slack jawed, as Kade situated himself back in the pilot’s seat. He glanced over his shoulder at me, his eyes smoldering. “You going to join me or what?”
Shuffling over to the second in command’s chair, I dropped back into it, staring straight ahead. “Kade, I don’t want—”
“Don’t sweat it. Let’s pretend none of this happened until after we’re safely off of Xianfrey, and you don’t have a metal plate attached to your skull.”
I nodded numbly, completely shell-shocked. I had so much to consider. Some of the things Kade had told me didn’t add up. It wasn’t like his confession caused all of the puzzle pieces to snap into place. In fact, his confession had scattered the pieces far and wide. I’d have to start from the middle and work my way out. It’s a good thing I’m going to Xianfrey because it seems my family is at the center of all of this.
“There it is, Xianfrey,” I mumbled, staring out the large viewing window. It loomed in front of us, drawing closer and closer, the colors of the beautiful landscapes hidden by the protective cloud coverings. I’d seen pictures of what Xianfrey had looked like from space before our scientists had altered our atmosphere. It had glowed with all the hues of a rainbow, covered in foliage originating from all across the Universe.
A lump formed in my throat. I hadn’t been this close to my home planet since I’d left all those years ago. Nor had I had any contact with my family. The only other Galvrarons I’d seen, had been in passing on supply space stations, and they’d paid me no mind, not knowing who I was.
Kade placed his large hand on top of mine, squeezing. “It’ll be fine.” True to his word, he’d acted as if nothing strange had happened between us. No life altering confessions of love, and no desperate pleas made from the floor by a massive warrior. Although he wasn’t willing to let me forget about our naked time together. Nope. He’d filled the dead air between us with sexual innuendo after sexual innuendo, again reminding me that a man who could make you laugh in the direst of situations was not one to be overlooked
.
I nodded, my gaze not wavering. “Yes, I’m sure it will be.”
Lights flashed on the dash, accompanied by several beeps, letting us know we were being hailed. Kade shot me a furtive glance before connecting. His voice faded into the background as I continued to stare at the planet I both feared and longed for. I wasn’t sure what it was like before space travel, if anyone could understand the level of homesickness that leaving one’s birth planet could cause. I didn’t have an ideal childhood, nor an ideal family, but I had been formed by Xianfrey as a whole, and it would forever be a part of me, whether I liked it or not.
“Here we go.” Kade’s words broke into my idle musings, my ears then picking up on the subtle shift in the engines as they readied to enter Xianfrey’s atmosphere.
Swiping my sweaty palms over my pants, I leaned forward, riveted. As we passed within the boundaries of my birth planet, my old life clamored to the forefront of my mind, visceral memories washing over me.
“Mikla, no. I don’t want to.”
“It won’t hurt for long. I simply want you to tell me what you feel after it’s over.”
“But I don’t want to.”
“It’s for the good of science. And for our family.”
My brother sliced off the tip of my pinky toe, and I screamed, doubling over.
“Tell me, Zula, what’s worse, the physical pain, or the emotional pain of knowing that you’re forever deformed now?” He tilted his head, studying me.
“I hate you,” I hissed, clutching at my foot. “I’m not a science experiment. I’m your sister.”
“Interesting. So, it caused emotional pain of a different sort. I wonder if it would have been different if someone you didn’t know had inflicted the injury?” He smiled. “And you’re wrong, Zula. You’re my personal science experiment because you’re blood. I want to cure you. It’s not quite sadness I feel for you that you were cursed with such an array of emotions, but pity. And shame. You tarnish our family’s legacy. I simply wish to cure you, and to do that I have to first find out what makes you tick.”