by C. L. Stone
“What?” I asked. “I know it’s a lot but you said they were there to help out the school. Is it bad they changed it?”
“No, it isn’t bad,” Kota said, maybe a little too quickly. “Did you happen to mention us at the time?”
I pushed my forefinger to my lower lip, pushing it toward my teeth. “I might have said something like I knew you, Kota. I didn’t say anything about the others. Dr. Green recognized your handwriting on my paper.”
“I didn’t know Mr. Blackbourne was teaching a class,” Nathan said.
“I don’t think it was pre-planned,” Kota said. He hooked a couple of fingers into the collar of his shirt and tugged.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. The way they were reacting to this made my heart shiver. “Mr. Blackbourne asked if I was interested and he offered to teach me. Should I drop the class?”
“It’s just odd that he’d take an interest,” Nathan said.
“Not fully,” Kota said, relaxing into a smile. He handed my schedule back to me. “It’s fine. He knows what he’s doing. If he wants to teach you, you’re in good hands.”
Last time Mr. Blackbourne was mentioned, they diverted. Now they seemed nervous. They may not have voiced their opinion, but I got the feeling they didn’t want Mr. Blackbourne to know about me, or me about Mr. Blackbourne. Academy secrets. I scanned my schedule. “I’ll still share classes with you all, right?
“You’re in my English class,” Kota said.
Nathan moved closer to me and held his paper next to mine. He was close enough that I was breathing in the scent of cypress and leather. I tried to focus and compare.
“Just geometry and gym,” I said. “But in gym the boys and girls are separated aren’t they?”
“We’ll mix up sometimes, I bet. Besides, we’re all in the same gym. I’ll wave to you. Maybe.”
Kota’s phone rang on his desk and he answered it. After a few minutes he hung up. “All schedules are accounted for. They’re heading in now.”
Nathan’s blue eyes locked with mine. His reddish brown hair was a little mussed but I found it to be charming. He grumbled. “And so it starts...”
♥♥♥
I used Kota’s restroom as the guys went downstairs to wait on the others. I adjusted my cut offs a little lower on my hips and pressed my hands to smooth out my blouse, pulling out the lower hem so the length fell over the pockets of my shorts. I kept readjusting the buttons on my blouse, buttoning and unbuttoning the collar to figure out what looked better. There were thin spots in the material and I was sure my father bought it at a used clothing shop. The guys always looked so good. I simply couldn’t compare. I was combing my fingers quickly through my hair, when I heard a car rolling into the drive. I threw my hair into a twist and clipped it. No time to fiddle with it. The boys were here.
I ran downstairs and out into the living room. Kota held open the front door, pushing his glasses up his nose. In a line came Victor, Luke, Gabriel, North and Silas. While they were all dressed casually, casual for the guys was a different level. Polo shirts, clean slacks, button up shirts with collars. Everything looked new and I spied Hilfiger and Abercrombie logos. It made me feel like a complete slob in my old things. I shifted on my feet on the blue carpet of the living room, my hands going behind my hips to hide any nervous shaking.
The others greeted Kota and Nathan in the hallway. Silas was the first to spot me. Locks of his black hair hung around his eyes and he brushed it aside, smiling at me. He came close, towering over me and pulled from his envelope from his back pocket. “Hey look, they let me in.”
I giggled. His smile widened, his clean white teeth a contrast to his olive skin.
We congregated in Kota’s living room. I sat in the middle of the couch. North, dressed in black with a single gold hoop earring, sat to my left, Gabriel wearing a bright orange shirt and blue crystal studs in his ears, sat to my right. Their contrasting styles had me glancing from one to the other, pondering how they managed to stay friends when they seemed so different. The others sat on the floor in a circle facing us. It felt strange to be higher up than everyone else but they didn’t seem to notice.
I blushed as North casually put an arm behind my shoulders against the couch cushions. I peeked up at his tan face. His dark eyes caught mine quickly and I glanced away. While I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, his eyes were so intense, it had my insides vibrating.
“I vote we get bean bag chairs,” Luke said. He might have been North’s step-brother, but Luke’s long, blond hair loosely hung around his shoulders, and his smile was warm and always ready to laugh. He leaned back on his hands as he sat with his legs crossed on the floor. “If we’re going to have meetings here, we need something besides the floor.”
“We’re working on that,” Kota said.
North’s fingers traced small circles at my shoulder. I glanced at the others to see if they noticed, but they were watching Kota. I tried not to blush. This was normal, right? I told myself he was just being friendly, and willed my heart to still.
“Now that we have schedules, let’s start at the beginning,” Kota said, getting the attention of everyone in the room quickly. “Or rather, let’s start with getting there.”
“I’ve got Gabriel,” said Victor, fiddling with the silver medallion at his neck.
“We’re good,” North said. “Luke and I can grab Silas.”
“Good. Logically, I’ll take Nathan and Sang,” Kota said.
“You mean on the bus?” I asked. They all looked at me. I felt my cheeks radiating heat. “I mean, I don’t think I could get away with riding to school with anyone. If I’m not getting on the bus, my sister will know and she’d tell my parents.”
“Aw, shit,” Nathan said. “I didn’t think about that. Don’t tell me we’re riding this year.”
I held up my hand toward him. “You don’t have to. I mean, I can ride the bus. You guys can ride together. It’s no big deal. I’ll just see you when I get there.”
The group exchanged glances. I caught Luke’s gaze as he stared at me, his blond hair falling in front of his dark eyes. I wasn’t sure if he realized he was doing it, or maybe he was just staring out into space but happened to be looking in my direction. When he came back, he started blinking his brown eyes and held a dazzling smile. His striking face had distracted me from watching the others. Did he do that on purpose?
“It’s not a big deal,” Nathan said, falling back on the carpet, putting his hands behind his head to prop it up. “We’ll do it.”
“But,” I started to say. It just seemed too unfair. It wasn’t a big deal to me. It was just a bus ride.
Kota cut me off. “No, it’s fine. My car isn’t totally reliable anyway. We’ll ride.”
I pursed my lips. His easy excuse to make me feel better left me feeling uneasy. The others simply nodded, taking Kota’s lead. When Kota finalized a plan, everyone went through with it. It was hard for me to believe the guy who appeared to be one of the least aggressive; the least likely leader had come to the role he had developed.
“But that brings us to another issue,” Kota said. His fingers brushed away the neatly-trimmed brown hair against his forehead. “We need to work on getting your parents used to us. It’ll be difficult, but the sooner we find a way, it’ll make it easier on all of us.”
I bit my tongue to keep from saying something. I’d told him before I liked the way things were working now. My father didn’t come home until very late in the evening, often well after eight when I was already up in my room and I didn’t see him at all. My mother, who was ill, kept mostly to her room. I checked in once a day, and for the most part, I could escape outside. If she did ask where I had gone, I would rattle off different things; in the woods, the garage, taking a walk to the empty church down the road. In our old neighborhood, back in Illinois, I often took walks outside. Since the closest kid lived a couple of miles away, my mother eventually relaxed to let me walk in the woods near the house. Marie told me they bought our new hou
se here on Sunnyvale Court because it was the least crowded street within an hour’s drive of where my dad worked. It was a last minute purchase and my mother wasn’t happy about it, but it did have a lot of wooded areas. So far, she hadn’t questioned my going for walks. She only reminded me that I shouldn’t talk to anyone. My mom would eventually realize how many kids were on this street. I didn’t want to think about the restrictions she would impose once she found out. I needed to be more careful, though. I had to show up more around the house on occasion.
Gabriel reached out to my head, rubbing at my hair. I held back from cringing out of fear. I enjoyed their touches but they were always so unexpected and when they did it quickly, my first reaction was usually to back up as I was always sure they didn’t mean to or it was an accident. “Don’t worry,” he said, his thin fingers massaging my scalp. “We’ve got a plan.” He let go of me and turned his head to Kota. “We’ve got a plan, right?”
Kota brushed his own fingers through his hair “I still think we ought to call on Danielle. If we can get them to be friends, she could invite Danielle over. Her mother might get used to another girl being over there easier and we could slowly start showing up.”
There was a collective groan.
“Is she that bad?” I asked.
“Yup,” North said, his voice deep. His fingers stopped the gentle motion at my shoulder and simply rested against me. It wasn’t exactly that he had his arm around me. It just felt like two fingers touching me. I kept telling myself to cool off. Would my heart always pound so much around them?
“She’s a typical girl,” Nathan tried to explain. “She thinks we’re all a bunch of nerds.”
Gabriel nudged my arm with his and leaned into me to stage whisper near my ear, “Nathan used to have a crush on her.”
“Fuck, no, I didn’t.”
“She used to go over to his house,” Gabriel continued. “One day she tried to get him to skinny dip in the pool. When he refused, she got pissed and told everyone he was gay for a while.”
“Like I give a shit what she thinks,” he said, but he frowned and rolled onto his side on the carpet, covering his eyes with an arm. “Can we not talk about this right now?”
Kota cleared his throat. “Well, maybe something else will come up.” He pulled out his schedule and unfolded the paper. “Are we ready?”
It took a good hour between us to get organized. Most of that time was taken up by general talking among the guys and Kota had to remind them what they were trying to do. Kota kept notes on a sheet of paper. In the end, my own schedule was marked up with his writing.
Homeroom Room 135
Luke, North
AP English - Trailer 10 - Ms. Johnson
Kota, Gabriel, Luke
AP Geometry - Room 220 - Ms. Smith
Nathan, North
Violin - Music Room B - Mr. Blackbourne
None
AP World History - Trailer 32 - Mr. Morris
Victor, North
Lunch
AP Biology - Room 107B - Mr. Gerald
Silas
Japanese - Room 212 - Dr. Green
Victor
Gym - Gymnasium - Mrs. French
Gabriel, Nathan
It seemed everyone was in each other’s classes, except for their special electives and Kota’s advanced science and math classes. I considered it unreal but I wondered if part of the reason was because they were from the Academy. Did Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green fix their schedules, too?
By the time we had it sorted out, I was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch. Gabriel moved across the room and was talking to Luke. North stretched out on the couch. I was quietly reviewing my schedule again, when, out of the corner of my eye, I caught Victor scooting over to sit next to me.
“I already know a little Japanese,” Victor said. He sat with his legs crossed and his knee grazed mine. The fire in his eyes flickered. “It’s actually pretty easy to speak it.”
I tilted my head as I looked at him, trying to ignore his knee pressing against mine. “How did you get in this class? I thought it was for upperclassmen? I had to get special permission from Dr. Green.”
“Who do you think let me into his class?” He smiled at me. “He’d let anyone in if they asked, actually.”
That confirmed things. If Victor’s schedule was altered, the others were most likely done as well. Did that mean Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green wanted me in the same classes as the boys? “Where did you learn Japanese?”
“My parents travel a lot. They like to stop in Japan.”
My eyes widened. “I’m jealous,” I said. “Can you say something in Japanese?” It wasn’t a challenge, but genuine curiosity in his ability.
A smile touched his lips. “Kirei-na hitomidane.” The way he said it in his baritone voice made it almost sound like a song lyric.
“Kirei...” My lips moved to try to mimic what he said but I lost it half way through. “What does it mean?”
That fire lit up in his eyes and his cheeks tinged red. “I’ll tell you later.”
I smoothed my fingers over the lower hem of my shorts in a nervous reflex. Did I ask something embarrassing? Did it sound like I didn’t believe him? I went with changing the topic since I didn’t want to say anything else wrong. “At least we’ve all got classes together or similar classes. Studying should be easy. Except for Kota.”
“Are you going to be okay, Kota?” North asked from behind me. He was on his side, a cushion pillow propped up under his head. He looked half asleep. “There’s periods where we won’t see you for several hours.”
Kota shrugged and waved his hand in the air, dismissing his words. “Most of these classes are close together on the second floor. I won’t be in the hallways for very long.”
Silas had been completely quiet for a long time, concentrating on his schedule. While the others were busy talking about how to get from one class to another with the trailers being a problem, I crawled over to him. He caught my eye and he patted the spot next to him, indicating I could move in closer.
“We’ve only got one class together,” I said, sitting next to him, holding my paper near his.
He inched over, putting an arm behind me with his palm to the floor. He was close enough that his arm touched my back. “At least I get you to myself,” he said, the corner of his mouth lifted up.
My fingers shook because of his touch. I put my paper down so I could hide my hands in my lap. “In a class full of people,” I said.
He put his paper in his lap and leaned back on his hands. “It won’t matter if they’re there. I don’t really talk much.”
“Why?”
“Not a lot to say.”
“You talk to me.”
He reached over, moving a lock of my hair that had slipped away from my clip, tucking it behind my ear. His big fingers brushed across my cheek and against the lobe of my ear. “You talk to me, too.”
My heart did flips in my chest.
There was a knock at Kota’s door. All of us looked up at the same time toward one another.
“It can’t be the mailman,” Kota said, his brows creasing. He got up off the floor. As he walked around me toward the door, he dropped a palm on top of my head, pushing slightly to make my head bob down. I looked up just in time to catch his grin before he left the living room. I grinned back. It was nice to feel wanted. I tried to tell myself again that touching was normal among friends. They might be friends with a lot of secrets, but they were normal in their behavior, right? Having missed out on this for so long, I was simply unused to the attention. Did anyone ever get over this feeling or was this fluttering nervousness something they felt all the time?
It was only a minute before Kota returned, we all looked up at him expectantly. He looked pale.
“Kota?” Luke said. “What? Who was it?”
“It’s your sister,” Kota said, turning to me. “Your older sister. She’s asking for you.”
My heart stopped. How d
id she find out? How did she know I was here? My hand fluttered to the base of my throat and I leapt up. I didn’t want her coming in. It would be bad enough she knew I was at Kota’s. It would be worse if she knew there were seven guys here.
Silas caught my other hand, looking up at me from the floor. “Are you going to be okay?” he asked, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.
I shrugged my shoulders and tried to keep my expression calm. I squeezed his hand back. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.” After the last time when my mother had reacted badly when Silas called, I didn’t want to scare him with my worry over what she would do to me. I was too terrified now to be nervous that he was holding my hand.
“Would your sister say you were here?” Kota asked, pushing his glasses up on his face again even after they were already adjusted. I had the feeling it was what he did when he was thinking.
“Maybe,” I said. “It might require negotiations.” They all looked confused and I waved my hand to them, taking the paper that had my schedule and putting it in my pocket. “I have to go calm the waters. I might not be back today.”
“Be careful,” Silas said. He squeezed my hand again before letting go. The others looked like they wanted to say something, but no one did. North was sitting up on the couch, his hands clenched. Nathan stared at the floor. Gabriel, Luke and Victor looked between Kota and I, as if waiting for either of us to tell them what to do.
Kota walked with me to the door and the others stayed behind. I wanted to say something more to them, but there wasn’t much else to say. This was far beyond what I was prepared to handle at the moment.
Outside, Marie was waiting on the steps. Her hands were in her jean pockets and she was looking impatient and sweating. I stepped out onto the porch. Kota had his hand gently rubbing my back on the way out and pulled it away before Marie could catch it. The instant his hand moved, I felt a loss. His touch was helping me to feel brave.
I stepped away from the door and gave Kota a small wave. He waved back, looking sympathetic. He said nothing but gave me a look that for once I understood. He wanted a word from me the moment I could find a way.