She knew exactly what he meant. She felt the same way. But she had no frame of reference that included “for keeps.” Nothing was forever. It was foolish and just asking to get kicked in the teeth to even try.
She couldn’t kiss him anymore. She couldn’t let this continue. For his sake—and her own.
Taking two steps away, she turned and reached into the still-open cupboard for the plates. Her hands were shaking. “Thanks for the tips, Nick. When I’m ready to date, they’ll come in handy.”
“Abby, I—”
“Don’t say anything. Please,” she begged, squeezing her eyes shut as if she could close out his sensory barrage and the temptation along with it. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
Even with the space between them she felt his tension. Finally he said, “Okay. For now.” There was an edge to his voice that she’d never heard before. “But you can’t keep running. Sometime soon, we’re going to have to talk about it.”
She turned slowly and met his gaze. The look in his eyes scared her. She never wanted to put into words the power of what had passed between them. She wasn’t even sure she could. They had crossed some kind of line tonight. Stepped off a cliff, free-falling and reaching for each other. If she had to put it into a coherent thought, she would be forced to admit that she was falling for Nick Marchetti.
She absolutely, positively could not love him. Correction: she would not under any circumstances, in any way shape or form, be in love with him.
They were so out of sync. He was looking for a till-death-do-us-part relationship. She hadn’t yet experienced the hey-babe-what’s-your-sign phase. She had already told him she intended to do footloose before settling down. But it was more than that. She wouldn’t date until she had the time to participate in single-girl stuff so she would know the right guy when he came along.
Her parents were each other’s first and they’d had to get married. She didn’t want to repeat that mistake. They’d been on the verge of splitting up. If and when she got married, she wanted it to be right—to be forever. Her plan required a long stretch of free time. And that was months away. She couldn’t afford to count on Nick being there for her. Nothing serious could happen between them, even though her heart was telling her to go full-speed ahead in that very direction. Nick knew how much she wanted to be part of a family. It was possible that his interest was nothing more than an overactive sense of duty. To continue what they’d just started would only hurt him in the long run. That was something she would never, ever do.
She would do whatever was necessary to avoid being his strike three.
Nick heard his cuckoo clock chime 1:30 a.m. Lounging in his favorite old chair in his condo, he brooded over what to do about Abby. In the several weeks since their mountain weekend, he’d discovered that getting her out of his mind wasn’t an option. He hadn’t seen or talked to her since he’d dropped her off that Sunday, but he’d thought about little else ever since. He’d hoped if he gave her time and space she would come to her senses and contact him.
“No such luck,” he said, staring distastefully at the warm, long-neck beer bottle in his hand. He’d opened it hours before and hadn’t even tasted it.
Something told him he was going to have to make the first move with Abby, if there was going to be one. Did he want to?
Oh, yeah. The answer came without hesitation. Was it logical? No way came the answer just as swiftly.
He’d known Abby for a long time, but only recently had he noticed sparks flying. When he fell for a woman it was fire at first sight. She was obviously wrong for him. But he couldn’t get that message from his mind to his gut. It was telling him to remember that kiss.
If they hadn’t spent the three days alone, it never would have happened. His brothers had given him vague excuses for not showing up. Not that it mattered now. The damage was done. They’d been alone, and he’d kissed her. That had shifted the emotional thermostat between them up to the high end of serious sizzle. After that, she had retreated behind walls she couldn’t erect fast enough, starting with her commitment to Sarah and ending with his relationship with Madison. Which he kept reminding her was ancient history.
As hard as he tried, he couldn’t forget what had happened at the cabin. She had kissed him like a woman whose heart was tied to his. He knew Abby. She didn’t play games. If her kiss said she cared, then she cared. Whether or not she would admit it was something else again.
He wanted to find out if something special between them stood a chance. But could he get past his own painful past to take the step he knew she wouldn’t?
Which brought him back to the question at hand. To see her, or not to see her. To call or not to call.
The phone rang suddenly, startling him. He thought about not picking up. But it was late and must be important. He grabbed the receiver. “Hello.”
“Nick! Thank God.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Sarah’s not home. I’m so afraid something’s happened to her.”
“Don’t borrow trouble, Ab.” That was the second time he’d told her that. He was beginning to see a pattern forming. She always went to the worst-case scenario. “If something bad had happened, you would know,” he said. He sat up in the chair, all his senses on full alert, adrenaline pumping.
“I don’t know what to do, Nick.” Her voice broke on a sob.
“I’ll be right over,” he said.
“You don’t have to—”
“Yeah, I do. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Abby answered the door even before he knocked. He knew by the way her expression turned from anticipation to disappointment that she’d hoped he was Sarah. That told him there was no news yet.
“I’ve called around, Nick. I’ve left messages with everyone I could think of.”
He walked into her apartment and closed the door. “Tell me what’s going on.”
She tipped her head to the side and looked at him, puzzled. “I already told you. Sarah hasn’t come home.”
He shook his head. “I mean what happened to set this off.”
“What makes you think something happened?”
“Because I know Sarah. She’s basically a good kid.”
“Are you implying that I did something? You think she’s run away?”
“No, I don’t think that. But did you two have an argument about something?”
“Of course not. I’m the adult. She’s the child. I set the rules.”
Sarah wasn’t a child, but that was another discussion. “So there were words between you.”
“I suppose you could call it that,” she said.
“Wasn’t tonight the winter formal?” he asked. Sarah had talked to him about it and the fact that it was a special occasion so she should be able to stay out later.
Abby caught her top lip between her teeth as she nodded. “She went with Austin.”
“Did you argue about something?”
“We discussed her curfew.”
“Tell me you extended it.”
“This was a special occasion. Of course I did. She was supposed to be in the door at tweive-thirty.” She glanced worriedly at the watch on her wrist. “She always comes in on time.”
“Did you check with any of the other parents to see when they wanted their kids home?”
“I did. But Sarah’s only sixteen. I thought two-thirty was a bit late.”
He looked at his own watch. “It’s nearly that now.”
Abby started pacing. “I’m so worried about her. Why hasn’t she called? If she’s okay, she would have called.”
“When you ‘discussed’ her curfew, did it turn into a fight?”
She sighed, a sound that was just this side of a sob, then nodded. “Yes. This morning. When I drove her to school. But before she left for the dance, everything seemed fine. Austin picked her up, and he said he would have her home on time.”
“I have a theory,” he said.
“What, Nick?”
“What if she told Austin that she could stay out until two-thirty? There’s a very good chance she didn’t want to be the only one attending who had to be home early.”
“Sarah wouldn’t lie. Besides she knows I would know and she would get in trouble.”
“Maybe it’s worth it to her.”
Should he tell her that he’d already caught Sarah doing something he knew Abby wouldn’t approve of? It might give her a little peace of mind, but Sarah would be in a lot more trouble. He decided to bide his time on that one.
“No.” She shook her head. “If she’s not home, it’s because she can’t be.”
“It’s possible they had a flat tire, or ran out of gas.” Nick thought that was unlikely. And if that’s what had kept them, they could have called.
“What if there’s been a car accident?” Abby said. “I can’t help thinking of her out there alone, hurt, needing help. Needing me.”
When her face drained of color, Nick went to her and pulled her into his arms. Violent tremors shook her from head to toe, and he thought she was going to collapse. He guided her to the love seat and sat down, tugging her onto his lap so he could hold her. He rubbed some warmth into her arms. It was as if she was cold from the inside out.
“If anything bad had happened, you would have heard.”
“Not necessarily. The authorities have to determine who the victims are. Notifying next of kin can be difficult. If ID isn’t readily available, they have to check license plates. It could be hours—”
“Don’t go there, Ab. I’m sure it’s nothing like that.”
Nick held her tighter. She had been through the worst thing a kid could experience. Of course she would leap to the worst case scenario. How could he help her see that she was jumping to conclusions? Nine times out of ten there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for things.
“Nick, she’s all I have in the world. I can’t lose another person I care about.” She said the last part so low he almost didn’t hear the words. But the pain was there in every softly spoken syllable.
“I’m sure your sister is fine.”
The trauma she had suffered was still with her. She lived it every day. It was compounded by the fact that she was responsible for the only family she still had left.
Abby, how can I help you? What can I do to convince you that lightning almost never strikes the same place twice?
This wasn’t the time, but he wanted to say that Sarah wasn’t the only person she had in the world. She had him. She would always have him. He knew now that he could have sat alone forever and brooded about whether or not to contact her. But the decision was never really in question. His feelings had gone from respect and admiration to hotter than an out-of-control forest fire. Not his usual way, but facts were facts. And the fact was, Abby had become an important part of his life. Being without her was like not having air to breathe or food to eat. And when she had phoned him, he’d gone without hesitation.
He was in love with Abby.
But right now, he had to help her get through what he felt sure was nothing more than teenage rebellion. Then he would tell her how he felt.
Just then, there were voices outside. The sound of a key in the lock. The door opened and Sarah walked in. “Good night, Austin. Thanks for everything. I had a wonderful time.”
Nick took in Sarah’s spaghetti-strapped, royal-blue dress and realized how grown-up she was. Her upswept hair, white-rose wrist corsage and dramatic night makeup all combined to add at least ten years. Not to mention the glow on her face—until she met her older sister’s gaze. Then the shutters closed, replaced by a sullen, rebellious look.
Abby stood up. “I want to talk to him.”
Sarah quickly shut the door and stood in front of it. “He’s gone.”
“Are you okay, sweetie? Did something happen?”
“Of course not.” Sarah met Nick’s gaze and smiled. “Hi. What are you doing here?”
“I called him because I was frantic. You scared me to death. All kinds of things went through my mind when you didn’t come home. I’m going to call Austin’s mother and give her a piece of my mind.”
“Don’t you dare,” Sarah said, her eyes flashing. “It’s my fault. I told him I could stay out later. If you want to ground me for the rest of my life, go ahead. I don’t care. Just because you don’t want to have a life doesn’t mean I won’t. At least for one night I got to have a good time like all the other kids. I don’t want to be a lonely old maid like you. I hate you,” she said, then ran from the room.
Nick decided a cooling-off period was a must before he told her that her behavior was inappropriate. Tomorrow he and a certain teenage girl were going to have a chat.
Abby couldn’t have looked more shocked if Sarah had slapped her. She turned to him. “I’m glad she’s okay, because tomorrow I’m going to kill her.” She breathed in, a shuddering sound.
“Not if I get to her first.” He despised the thought of Abby going through even a moment of anxiety, and he intended to see that it never happened again.
“She lied to me. You were right.”
“Try to see her side. She’s growing up. You said yourself that she’ll be off to college pretty soon. In spite of the fact that you want to keep her a little kid. She needs to have more freedom under controlled circumstances to prepare her to be on her own.”
“That’s a tough one for me, especially after she just proved to me how she handles more freedom. Lying?” She shook her head in disbelief.
“It’s not the first time,” he said gently. She needed to know that her tight parameters were driving Sarah in the wrong direction.
Her eyes grew wide. “How do you know?” she asked sharply.
“She talks to me.”
“What else has she done?” Her voice was deadly calm and cool.
“She took a ride from a recently licensed driver. Nothing serious.”
“You don’t think that’s serious?” Her face turned pale, like it did when she’d remembered how her parents died. “Now she lied to me and stayed out late.”
“Only as late as the other kids. Probably not a hanging offense,” he said, hoping to coax a smile out of her. No such luck. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I guess I should have. But I understand where she’s coming from.”
“You think I can’t?”
“No, because when you should have rebelled, you became mother and father to her. You never had the freedom of opportunity.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve tried to talk to you about this. Abby, you have to make an effort to put yourself in her shoes. You can’t keep her on such a tight leash.”
“I’m trying to protect her.” She looked up at him.
“I know you are, honey. But smothering her isn’t the way.” He reached for her, intending to pull her into his arms.
Fear flashed through her eyes just before she took a step back. “Nick, it’s late and I’m tired. Not to mention angrier than I’ve probably ever been in my life at the two most important—” She stopped and dragged in a deep breath. “I think you should go.”
He frowned. “We should talk about this,”
“There’s nothing further to say. By keeping that confidence, you encouraged Sarah’s deception. It’s a behavior that could have been a disaster. How would you have felt if she had been in an accident tonight?”
“Awful. I don’t know. I—”
“You’re right. I don’t know how to rebel. But I do know what it feels like to lose your whole world. And I’ll do whatever I can to keep it from happening again.”
“Abby, let me help.”
“You’ve already done enough.” She went to the door and opened it. “I appreciate you coming over so late. Thank you, Nick. Now it’s time to say goodnight.”
He shook his head, puzzled and disturbed. “That tone in your voice. It smacks of ‘don’t darken my doorway again.’”
“Maybe that’s not such a bad idea.”
Nick was stunned. He was afraid to
breathe. Afraid if he did the pain would come and bring him to his knees again. “You don’t mean that, Abby.”
“Yes,” she said, meeting his gaze directly. “I do mean it. Goodbye, Nick.”
Chapter Eleven
Abby curled up in the corner of the couch and prayed that the cup of coffee wrapped in her hands would take the place of the whole night’s sleep she’d lost. She couldn’t shake the bad feeling that had settled over her.
From the corner of her eye, she saw movement in the hall. Her sister was finally up. She was dreading another confrontation.
Sarah sat down on the love seat, looking sulky, sullen, and as sleepy as Abby felt. “I’m sorry about last night, Abby.”
“Me, too. And you’re still grounded.”
“Why would you lighten up on me just because Nick says you should?”
“This is between you and me, Sarah. Why can’t you understand that I’m just trying to do the best job I can to finish what Mom and Dad started?” She felt tears burn the back of her eyes. “And I stink at it.”
Sarah’s face clouded. “And why can’t you understand that I feel guilty every time you don’t go out because of me? If I was eighteen right now, I’d move out. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about me.”
“I love you, Sarah.” Abby’s stomach knotted at the thought of losing the only family she had left. “I’ll always worry about you. You’re all I’ve got.”
“You’ve got Nick.”
Abby shook her head. “He’s just my boss.”
“He’s stuck on you, Abby. But I overheard what you said to him. You need to talk to him.”
“There’s nothing more to say.”
Sarah stood up, the rebellious look back. “Yeah, there is. You care about him, too. He can show you how to have a good time.”
“So I’ll lighten up on you?” Abby said, trying to coax a smile from her sister.
“No. Maybe. But mostly it’s about you. Don’t make me your whole life. What are you going to do when I’m all grown up, Abby?” She turned and ran from the room.
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