Plopping onto the step to the porch, she let the tears flow. Not one single drop was for her ex, but instead for the threat he made against Deckland.
Her options were very limited. She could pack up and leave the ranch. Tom would hunt her down, but Deckland would be away from the mess.
Her chest filled with an unfamiliar ache. Happiness eluded her, again.
Swiping the moisture from her cheeks, she needed to focus. She’d wasted too many years on Tom and his violent behavior. He’d bullied her, beaten her and treated her like the dirt under his shoes.
Then came Deckland. He was a gentleman who showed her what a real man was like.
But did he have heart problems?
He wasn’t sick, at least he didn’t appear ill. She knew her ex and was sure he’d hired an investigator to find her, and to snoop into Deckland’s personal life. Tom knew no boundaries.
There was a bigger issue here.
She’d fallen in love with Deckland, and just as he had a protective side, so did Elsa. Tom had no clue that he was messing with a different, stronger woman.
****
Walking into the backyard, Deckland found Elsa sitting on a wicker lounger, her legs stretched out and a solemn expression on her face.
“Elsa?” She brought her chin up, looking at him across the short distance. He could see the glossiness in her eyes. He wasn’t sure what happened since he left a few hours ago, but whatever it was, he guessed it wasn’t good.
“Deckland. You’re home.” He caught the slight huskiness in her voice.
“You look like you’ve lost your best friend. What’s wrong?” He crossed the patio and sat down on the end of the lounger, next to her feet.
“I’ve been sitting here reflecting.”
“This is a good place for that. Did something spark the deep thinking?”
She blinked. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”
He chuckled, but it fizzled. “Have you eaten?”
She shook her head abruptly, sending tendrils of hair bouncing across her blushing cheeks. “I’m not hungry.”
“Are you angry?” Obviously, she wasn’t in a good mood.
“Don’t look at me like that, Deckland.”
“Like what?” Frustration marred her delicate features.
“Like you want to fix me.” She threaded her fingers through her hair. “I’ve taken care of myself for quite some time.”
“I won’t argue that point.” He didn’t know a lot about a woman, but he knew when one was pissed. “Did I do something that I’m not aware of?”
Her facial features softened. “You’re a nice guy.”
“And you say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s a very good thing.” Her eyes filled with moisture. “You deserve so much.”
His gut clenched. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
She shrugged and blew out a long breath. “That I’m not ready for this—you and I, the intimacy, and all that comes with it.”
He tugged the hat off his head and laid it by her feet. “Neither of us planned for any of this, sure, but what’s wrong with going with the flow and allowing things to just happen?”
Her gaze narrowed. “That might work for you, but not for me.”
Scrubbing his jaw, he was thrown into confusion, but he had a good guess what bothered her. “The past is like a blanket of poison for you.”
Pushing out of the chair, she made it to her feet. She swayed but caught her balance. The area between her thin brows scrunched. “I’m the poison, Deckland. Can’t you see that?”
He got up and faced her. “What the hell happened after I left?”
“You’d never understand.” Her arms dropped to her sides and her shoulders slumped.
“Try me,” he urged. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but snapped it shut. “You have to talk to me. I’m not asking for the world, just a bit of communication and trust.”
“Trust?” Her mouth curved into a frown. “I have no clue what that word means.”
“Yeah, you’ve made that clear, Elsa.” He pushed his hands deep into his back pockets.
“I’m used to disappointment. And you talk of trust so easily, then all I can ask is that you trust me and realize I’m doing what’s best for you. If anything happened…”
“What would happen? Tell me so I’ll understand.” He’d never met a person with a bigger wall of protection. He wanted the opportunity to break the bricks down, one by one if necessary, and show her that he’d never hurt her, not intentionally. For some reason, she equated emotions with pain. “Let me help.”
Would she allow him the chance?
“I’m not a charity case, Deckland. When will you stop trying to help others?”
He stayed quiet. After all, what could he say?
Shrugging, she swept passed him. She stopped and looked at him over her shoulder, a sadness crept over her pretty face. “Thank you for letting me stay. I’m going to get back on my feet, find a place of my own. I’ll understand if you feel that I should leave immediately. But one thing I can’t waver on, we can’t get caught up in emotion again. It’s not safe.” And she stepped into the house.
He stared at the place where she’d disappeared for the longest time, his mind pounded with uncertainty.
Why was she blocking him out?
Deckland was still consumed with Elsa’s words as he lay in bed that night, leaning against the headboard of his bed and flipping through channels on the TV.
Apparently, he needed a guide for women because he had no clue what was going through her head. She held emotion, he knew because he saw it in her gaze when she looked at him, and yet she pushed him away.
Uncrossing his ankles, he stretched and sighed when a commercial came on for a romantic getaway. Hell, he needed a getaway. He could use a lot more romance too.
And not just any woman would do.
Darkness had fallen hours ago. Elsa hadn’t come down from her bedroom by the time he’d called it a night. Against better judgment, he’d checked in on her and she was sound asleep. Probably what she needed—to sleep off her frustration.
He chuckled. She wasn’t the only one exasperated.
Admittedly, he’d had a perpetual erection from the moment she looked at him, but there was so much more to their connection. Now he’d have to again back off and forget how good they were together, in every aspect.
He wasn’t a man of steel, but he’d have to build some armor. If she wanted him to step off, he’d give her the freedom, certainly.
At times, when he looked at Elsa, he had the feeling that she’d lived far beyond the years of her chronological age. Her eyes spoke of a world she kept hidden. And then, other times, she seemed innocent, open to exploration. She moved through life awaiting it’s excitement, exposed to what life had to give. This evening, he saw the older version of Elsa—the woman who was scared and protected against a life of hurt.
Well, he wasn’t in the habit of seducing vulnerable women who weren’t ready to give and receive. No matter how tempting and beautiful. A woman who protected herself behind a wall of defense had her reasons, and she wasn’t willing to trust him.
Her insecurity probably came at the hands of a bastard who’d mistreated her. Maybe one day she’d find a man she could open up to and he could help her see how she deserved to be treated. A sudden rush of jealousy hammered his stomach. The thought of another man touching her made his muscles tighten. Damn. He couldn’t be like this.
He’d been blinded by her. The second she’d introduced herself to him at Dante and April’s party he was caught in her beauty, but something far more dangerous—her way of looking at him like her soul cried to be released from its jail.
He’d also failed to realize how much he’d come to care about her since the fire. It was a fierce attraction that leaked into every cell—every fiber of his being—so deep and intense.
Eventually, he’d pay for the mistake of having feelings.
&nb
sp; For his own good, he should ask her to leave, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He’d suffer the pain of being near her just to keep her safe from whatever she ran from.
What kept her behind invisible bars of steel?
He blew out a long breath. He’d glimpsed her vulnerability behind the brave smile. Her hidden neediness and cries for love tugged at his heart.
Frowning, Deckland reached for one of Elsa’s cupcakes. It wasn’t the sweet he wanted from her, but he’d settle…for now. Popping the moist cake into his mouth, he chewed and savored the delicacy. Man, that woman knew her desserts.
Damn, he was a sucker.
He clicked off the TV and shook his head. Standing up, he paced the floor. He couldn’t allow himself to see Elsa as a woman who was in need of a hero. And when he’d mentioned to her today that he wanted to help her, she’d pulled away. He didn’t want to be her father or savior—he wanted her as his partner.
A jolt of realization made him heady.
A partner?
When did that creep up?
Shit! He loved her. And he was bound to her no matter how he wanted to resist the knowledge.
Years had passed while he waited for a woman to make him feel like he could do anything, be anything. He’d watched Dante and Dillon find true love, turned inside out by the touch of a woman, and now he realized exactly why they’d succumbed like puppy dogs.
Deckland knew Elsa was the path to his dreams, and although she needed polishing in the emotional and trust department, he certainly could see the rainbow dangling before him like a juicy carrot.
In the meantime, he needed to keep things in perspective, keep his goal in sight.
He wanted to know what made Elsa tick. What secrets did she hide behind that bright smile and innocent expression?
Despite her belief that she was “poison,” he thought quite the opposite. Maybe she just needed a good man to show her how special she was—and he could be that man.
Harmony and confidence filled him as he lay back down. Lacing his fingers, he laid his head in his palms and inhaled deeply. Things would be right in his life, sooner or later. For now, he’d give Elsa the space she needed—required.
Grabbing another cupcake, he bit into the moist goodness and chewed thoughtfully. Turning back on the television, he surfed the channels until he came to ESPN. A baseball game was on and he sighed in satisfaction. Nothing could take his mind off his stressors more than sports. The player at bat struck out and Deckland winced. Damn, he knew the feeling of striking out.
His cell beeped from the nightstand. Grabbing it, he checked the screen. A familiar name popped up. He smiled as he tapped the screen to read the text.
“I’m in town. Busy tonight? Thought I’d drop by. Hugs, Aspen.”
He replied, “Tonight would be great. I could use the company.”
Maybe tonight wasn’t a waste after all.
CHAPTER TEN
ELSA TUGGED HER hair into a messy bun then hit start on the coffeemaker. Needing a large dose of caffeine and fast, she couldn’t wait for Deckland. Her head was pounding a beat of a heavy metal song. She hadn’t slept more than a few hours and the rest was spent tossing and turning.
Eventually, she’d need to discuss yesterday with him. She didn’t like how they’d left things between them.
Burying her forehead into her palm, she heard footsteps and turned, expecting to see a cowboy. “Did you—” The words skidded to a halt as she spotted the pretty blonde. Elsa ticked a fast glance down the familiar T-shirt—the worn one that she’d borrowed from Deckland on occasion. Anger sliced through Elsa like a ragged knife. Did he loan out the shirt to every female?
“Oh, hello.” The other woman came to a sliding stop on the freshly waxed floor. “I didn’t know anyone was awake yet.”
Speak. Speak. Elsa’s tongue doubled in size and her brain turned to mush. Getting a fast grip, she managed to force frozen lips to work. “I—I—” Her vocal chords failed her.
The woman chuckled and held out a hand. “I’m Aspen. A friend of Deckland’s.”
Handshake? Elsa did it reluctantly. What had this Aspen woman been touching? And, why was this stranger wearing Deckland’s shirt? And no pants. Did she even have any undergarments on? “I-I didn’t know he had company.”
“I got into town late last night and invited myself over.” Aspen wriggled her thin brows. “I’m at an advantage. He told me you were staying. How awesome. By the way, you have the best cake ever.” Elsa’s brow snapped up in curiosity. “Oh, Deck shared one with me last night.”
A fiery jealousy ripped through Elsa, making her knees weak. “I’m at a complete disadvantage considering I didn’t know you two—”
“I smell coffee.” Deckland’s voice interrupted her thoughts. He swept into the kitchen with a cat-ate-the-mouse grin and a layer of beard growth.
Elsa looked at him—the rage in her gut growing stronger. “Well, well, aren’t you full of surprises?” She clicked her tongue.
Deckland grabbed three cups from the cabinet and lined them up on the counter. “I hope Aspen and I didn’t wake you last night.”
Elsa leaned against the counter, bracing her hands on the edge. She could barely breathe and spots appeared behind her lids. “Disturbed me?” She clenched her hands into fists and hid them behind her back.
“We were up talking until the wee hours of the night,” he said with a yawn.
Talking? Yeah, she bet they were talking. “No, I slept like a baby.” Her head pounded, and she pressed her fingers to her forehead. It wasn’t possible she could tell him the truth of how she was awake thinking of him, wanting to crawl into bed with him. She’d even gotten up once and went to his closed door, hearing the TV, but she didn’t disturb him. That would have turned out to be a sticky situation indeed.
“Headache?” he asked.
“Some.” Did he observe everything?
“Why don’t you two ladies sit and I’ll make you breakfast. Bacon and eggs?” He opened the refrigerator and reached inside.
“I’d love to get to know you better, Elsa,” Aspen said chirpily.
“No, thank you.” Realizing her blooper, and seeing Aspen’s wide-eyed glare, Elsa cleared her throat. “I mean, I just want a cup of coffee. No eggs for me. I have plans this morning.”
“Plans?” Deckland asked, hand suspended in air holding the carton.
“Yes, plans.” Would he pursue what they were?
“Then I guess it’s breakfast just for the two of us, Aspen.” Deckland was already putting slices of bacon into the frying pan. He dropped a piece on the floor. “Shit!”
Elsa quickly made herself a cup of coffee as her stomach turned. She’d told Deckland that he deserved better, and now she regretted it. She guessed it didn’t take him long to realize the truth of her words. “You enjoy your morning.”
Walking out of the room, controlling her pace when she wanted to run. She took a deep breath once she was out of view.
She didn’t have plans except to stay clear of Deckland and Aspen—some would call it hiding in the backyard—Elsa finally felt relief when, an hour later, she heard them leave.
Elsa secured her bikini top then pulled her hair back into a loose bun. She laid down on the lounge and figured she’d soak up some sun, hoping a good dose of Vitamin D would help her sleepy brain—and her solemn mood, thanks to a certain pretty blonde and hunk of cowboy.
Grrr…
She stretched out on the chair, laid her head back and closed her eyes. Her nerves were strained to a breaking point.
Aggravated, she counted to ten—backward, forward, but irritation remained.
She was stuck between a rock and an iron cowboy.
A soft touch came at her ankle. She jerked her eyes open and came eye-to-eye with danger, for a second time.
“Tom, what are you doing here?”
“Is that any way to greet me?” Dressed in another expensive suit, this time a black pinstriped with blue silk tie, he was as polis
hed as a diamond. She huffed at how awkward he looked in this environment.
“I had a feeling you wouldn’t listen to me when I said I don’t want to see you. A judge signed papers over a year ago, remember? You’re not supposed to be around me.” She kept her voice lowered. The sound of her world crashing down around her ears made her sick. “Why do I have to keep reminding you?”
He chuckled and sat down next to her hip. Disgust oozed through her bone marrow, reminding her of a time when she feared the man sitting next to her. It was becoming clear that she no longer feared him but grew stronger against him, especially when he made threats involving Deckland.
“Like I told you on the phone, Elsa, before you rudely hung up on me, you and I belong together.”
“And as I told you, we are over.”
He trailed a finger along the curve of her outer thigh. “Don’t kid yourself, sweetheart. We will always be together.”
Swallowing the pain in her throat, she forced the words through the sandpapery feeling. “Why did you come? You do realize it’s considered stalking when you watch for Deckland to leave.”
“I’m here to take you home, of course.” He seemed so at ease, so relaxed.
“You’ll be leaving alone.” She straightened her chin.
“Get your things, dear. Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be.”
“You’re so full of yourself that you fail to see the truth.” She stood up, gaining distance between them. “Even if I leave here, I still won’t come back home.”
“You’ll change your mind.”
Black spots swirled in front of her eyes, and nausea rolled her stomach. The coffee threatened to come back up. “I won’t go back.”
“But you have nothing keeping you here.” He stood and stepped closer. She got a strong whiff of whiskey that threatened her every nerve. “The restaurant needs you.”
“Interesting when you made sure I lost every right to the restaurant. You lied and manipulated. Don’t you dare attempt to entice me with what use to be ours. It’s yours now.”
“My patience grows thin. But so be it.” He shrugged. “I can’t force you to come back, now can I?”
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