Which means: “My pleasure. Bon voyage!”
Three months later, the giant landed in Brittany. It took him yet another month to find the Breton wizard.
“What do you want?” asked the Breton wizard.
The giant replied:
“Yong cho-cho-cho kong kong ngo.”
“Pardon?”
“Forgive me,” said the giant, “I thought I was still in China. I meant to say: could you make me smaller?”
“That’s very easy,” said the Breton wizard.
He went into his house, then came out again with a barrel of magic potion.
“Here, drink this.”
The giant drank it but, instead of shrinking, he began to grow, and was very soon twice as tall as before.
“Oh I am sorry!” said the wizard. “I must have picked up the wrong barrel of potion. Just stay there, I won’t be a second.”
He disappeared, and came back with another barrel.
“Here, drink this one,” he said.
The giant drank and… so it proved. He shrank back to his usual height.
“This is not enough,” he said. “I need to be as small as a man.”
“Ah, that small? I’m sorry, that’s not possible,” said the wizard, “I’m all out of potion. Come back in six months.”
“But I can’t!” exclaimed the giant. “I must return to my fiancée within the next two months!”
And, saying this, he began to cry.
“Listen,” said the wizard, “I like you, and besides, this is my fault. In view of this, I shall give you a good recommendation. Let me send you to see the Pope of Rome.”
“And where does he live, this Pope of Rome?”
“In Rome.”
“Thank you very much.”
One month later, the giant arrived in Rome. It took him another fortnight to find the Pope’s house. Once he had found it, he rang the doorbell. After a few seconds, the Pope came to the door.
“Sir… What can I do for you?”
“I want,” the giant said, “to become as small as a man.”
“But I am not a wizard!”
“Have pity on me, Mr Pope! My fiancée is expecting me in a fortnight!”
“What then?”
“Well, if I’m still too tall then, I won’t be able to get inside the church in order to marry her!”
Hearing this, the Pope felt sorry for the giant:
“That would be sad!” he said. “Listen, my friend, I like you. I shall try to do something for you.”
The Pope went into his house, picked up the telephone and dialled these three letters: HVM.
Perhaps you know, when you dial O, you are put through to the Operator. But what you may not know is that when you dial HVM, you come through to the Holy Virgin Mary. If you don’t believe me, wait for a day when your parents are out, and try it!
Indeed, after a few moments, a gentle voice could be heard:
“Hello? Holy Virgin here. Who is speaking?”
“It’s me, the Pope!”
“You? Ah, how lovely! And what do you want?”
“Well, it’s like this: I have a giant here, who would like to become as small as a man. In order to get married, as far as I understand…”
“And does this giant of yours wear bright-red socks with special powers?”
“So he does, Holy Virgin! How did you know?”
“Well, you see, I just know!”
“Really, Holy Virgin, you are a marvel!”
“Thank you, thank you… Now, tell your giant that he should leave his red socks at the laundrette and go and soak both his feet in the sea, while calling my name. He shall see what happens next!”
“Thank you, Holy Virgin.”
“That’s not all! As I predict that he will still have a few problems, tell him that, afterwards, he can have three wishes, which will come true straight away. But he must be careful! Three wishes, no more!”
“I will tell him.”
And the Pope repeated to the giant what the Holy Virgin Mary had told him.
Later that day, the giant handed his red socks in at the laundrette, then he went to the very edge of the sea, paddled his bare feet in the blue water, and began to call out:
“Mary! Mary! Mary!”
Pouf! He lost his footing and fell over straight away. He had become as small as a man. He swam back to shore, dried himself in the sun and went back to the laundrette.
“Good morning, madam. I’ve come to pick up my red socks.”
“I don’t have any red socks here.”
“But you do! The pair of red socks, about three metres long…”
“Ah you mean: the two red sleeping bags?”
“They’re socks I tell you!”
“Listen,” said the laundrette assistant, “call them what you will, but when I see a sock that I can lie down in, I call it a sleeping bag!”
“Never mind, please give them back to me!”
But when he tried to put his red socks on, the poor man realized that they now came up above his head. He began to cry:
“What is to become of me? I am no longer a giant and, without my magic red socks, I’m nobody! If only they too could be shrunk down to my size!”
No sooner had he said this than his red socks shrank too, and he was able to put them on. His first wish was granted.
Very happy, he put his shoes back on and thanked the Holy Virgin, after which he thought about going back to the village where he had started out.
However, since he was no longer a giant, he could not walk all the way back to Mireille’s village. Moreover, he didn’t have the money to take a train. Once more he burst into tears:
“Alas! And I’ve only got a fortnight to get back to my fiancée! If only I could be near her!”
No sooner had he said this than he found himself in Mireille’s dining room, just as the young lady herself was about to crack open a soft-boiled egg. As soon as she saw him, she jumped up and threw her arms around him:
“The vicar explained everything,” she said. “I know all about what you have done for me, and now I am in love with you. In six months’ time, we shall be married.”
“Only in six months’ time?” asked the man in red socks.
But then he had a sudden thought—that he still had his third wish to make, and so he said aloud:
“Let today be our wedding day!”
No sooner had he said this than he was stepping out of the church, in bright-red socks and a fine black suit, with Mireille at his side, all dressed in white.
From that day onwards, they lived very happily together. They have many children and the former giant, their father, earns enough for the whole family by building houses, which is easy for him, thanks to the magical powers of his bright-red socks.
Scoobidoo, the Doll Who Could See Everything
There was once a little boy whose name was Bashir. He had a rubber doll called Scoobidoo and a papa called Sayeed.
Sayeed was a good papa, just like the good papas we all know, but Scoobidoo was no ordinary doll: she had magical powers. She walked and talked just like a person. What’s more, she could see into the past and the future, and she could see things that were hidden. For her to do that, all they had to do was put a blindfold over her eyes.
She often played dominos with Bashir. When she had her eyes open, she always lost, as Bashir played better than she did. But when he blindfolded her, it was Scoobidoo who won.
One fine morning, Bashir said to his father:
“Papa, can I have a bicycle?”
“I don’t have enough money,” said Papa Sayeed. “Also, if I buy you a bicycle now, next year you will have grown and it will be too small. Later, in a year or two, we can think about it again.”
Bashir did not mention it again, but that evening he asked Scoobidoo:
“So tell me, since you can see everything: when will I get a bicycle?”
“Blindfold me,” said Scoobidoo, “and I’ll tell you.”
“Yes, I do see a bicycle… But it’s not for right now… It’s in a year or two…”
“No sooner?”
“No sooner!”
“But I want one right now!” shouted Bashir angrily. “Look: you have magic powers, don’t you?”
“I do,” agreed Scoobidoo.
“Then make Papa buy me a bicycle.”
“I would be happy to try, but it won’t work.”
“Never mind! Try anyway.”
“All right: leave me blindfolded overnight, and I will try.”
That night, while everyone was sleeping—Papa, Mama, Bashir and his elder sisters—Scoobidoo, in her corner, began singing very softly:
Papa wants a bicycle
A very little bike
Swift as a kite
With two wheels
Silent as seals
With a saddle
Solid as cattle
With brakes
Canny as snakes
With a headlight
Bright as a sprite
And a bell
Sound as a gazelle
It’s for Bashir
Swift as a deer!
All through the night, she sang this magical song. She stopped singing at dawn, for the magic was complete.
That morning, Papa Sayeed went to do some shopping on rue Mouffetard. To start with, he went to the baker:
“Good morning, madame.”
“Good morning, Papa Sayeed. What would you like?”
“I would like a bicycle,” said Papa Sayeed.
“What did you say?”
“Goodness, what am I saying? I mean: a two-pound loaf, please.”
Next, Papa Sayeed went to the butcher.
“Hello, Papa Sayeed. What will it be today?”
“A good one-and-a-half pound of bike,” said Papa Sayeed.
“Ah, I’m very sorry,” said the butcher. “I have beef, mutton and veal, but I don’t sell bicycles.”
“But what nonsense am I coming out with? Of course! I meant to say: a good joint of beef, please!”
Papa Sayeed took the joint, paid and went to the grocer’s next.
“Hello, Papa Sayeed. What can I get for you?”
“A pound of nice ripe bicycles,” said Papa Sayeed.
“A pound of what?” asked the grocer.
“What is wrong with me, today? A pound of ripe white grapes, please!”
This is how it was, all day. Every time Papa Sayeed went into a shop, he began by asking for some bicycle. Just like that, without meaning to; he couldn’t help it. So it happened that he asked for another box of white bicycles in the grocer’s, a good slice of bicycle at the cheese shop, and a bottle of bicycle bleach at the laundrette. Finally, very worried, he dropped in to see his doctor.
“Hullo there, Papa Sayeed, what is the problem?”
“Well, it’s like this,” said Papa Sayeed. “Since this morning, I don’t know what’s wrong with me but, each time I go into a shop, I start by asking for a bicycle. It’s against my will, I assure you, I’m not doing it on purpose in the least! What is this sickness? I’m very disturbed by it… Couldn’t you give me a little bicycle… There you are! It’s happening again! I mean a little medicine, to stop it happening?”
“Ahem,” said the doctor. “Curious, very curious indeed… Tell me, Papa Sayeed, you wouldn’t happen to have a young son, by any chance?”
“Yes, I do, doctor.”
“And this young son has recently asked you for a bicycle…”
“How do you know that?”
“Heh heh! It’s my job! And your son would not happen to have a doll, by any chance? A rubber doll known as Scoobidoo?”
“He does indeed, doctor!”
“So I thought! Well then, watch out for that doll, Papa Sayeed. If she is to stay with you, she will make you buy a bicycle, whether you like it or not. And—that will be three thousand francs!”
“Oh no! They’re much more expensive than that!”
“I’m not talking about a bicycle, I’m talking about your medical consultation. You owe me three thousand francs.”
“Yes, of course!”
Papa Sayeed paid the doctor, went back home and said to little Bashir:
“Would you do me a favour and get rid of your doll, because if I find her I shall throw her in the fire!”
As soon as Bashir and Scoobidoo were alone:
“You see,” said Scoobidoo, “I did tell you that it wouldn’t work… But don’t be sad. I will go away and I’ll come back in a year’s time. On my return, you shall have your bicycle. However, there’s something I will need before I go…”
“What’s that?” asked Bashir.
“Well, when I’m alone, you will no longer be there to blindfold me… So I would like you to make me a pair of glasses with wooden lenses.”
“But I don’t know how to do that!”
“Ask your Papa.”
Only too happy to know the doll was leaving, Papa Sayeed agreed to make her a pair of glasses with wooden lenses. He cut the lenses out of a piece of plywood with a little saw, made a frame out of wire, and said to Scoobidoo:
“How do you like these?”
Scoobidoo tried on the glasses. They suited her straight away.
“Very nice, sir, thank you very much.”
“Okay. Now, out you go!” said Papa Sayeed.
“Of course. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye, Bashir.”
And Scoobidoo left.
She journeyed for a long, long time, walking by night and hiding by day, in order not to attract attention. After three weeks, she came to a great port on the shore of the English Channel. It was night-time. A large ship was at the dock, ready to depart early the following morning and begin its long journey around the world.
Putting on her glasses, Scoobidoo thought to herself:
“This ship is just right for me.”
She put her glasses back in her pocket, then stationed herself at the foot of the gangway, and there she waited.
On the stroke of three in the morning, a sailor walking in zigzags rolled up to the gangway and was about to step onto it when he heard a tiny voice calling to him from ground level:
“Mister sailor! Mister sailor!”
“Who’s there?” asked the sailor.
“Me, Scoobidoo! I’m right in front of you. Look out, you’re about to step on me!”
The sailor crouched down:
“Well I never! How strange. A talking doll! And what might you be after?”
“I want you to take me onto the ship with you.”
“And how will you make yourself useful?”
“I can see into the future and predict the weather.”
“Really! Then, tell me what the weather will be tomorrow morning.”
“Just a moment, please.”
Scoobidoo took out her glasses, put them on, then said without hesitation:
“Tomorrow morning the weather will be bad. So bad that you won’t be able to leave the port.”
The sailor burst out laughing.
“Ha ha ha! You know nothing about it! We’ll have fine weather, as it happens, and we weigh anchor at dawn.”
“And I say you won’t be able to leave!”
“All right then, let’s bet on it, if you like? If the weather is good enough for us to go, I will leave you behind. But if bad weather holds us back, I’ll take you along. Is it a deal?”
“It’s a deal.”
And so it happened that, the following day, the sun had hardly risen when a great cloud appeared in the north-west and spread so, so quickly that within five minutes the whole sky had turned black. Then the storm broke, so wild and violent that the ship was obliged to stay where she was.
“I don’t understand at all,” said the captain. “The forecast said it would be fine!”
“Well,” said the sailor, “I know a doll that predicted this bad weather
.”
“A doll? You’d had a few drinks, hadn’t you?”
“I’d drunk a good many,” said the sailor, “but even so. She’s a little rubber doll called Scoobidoo.”
“And where is this Scoobidoo?”
“There, on the dock; I can see her from here.”
“Bring her here.”
The sailor leant over the rail and called:
“Here, Scoobidoo! Come up, will you? The captain would like to talk to you.”
As soon as Scoobidoo was on board, the captain asked her:
“What is it that you can do, exactly?”
And Scoobidoo replied:
“I can see into the past and the future, and I can see things that are hidden.”
“Is that all you can do? All right, tell me something about my family!”
“Right away, captain!”
Putting on her glasses, Scoobidoo began to speak very quickly, as if she were reading from a book:
“You have a wife in Le Havre, with a blond child. You have a wife in Singapore, with two yellow children. You have a wife in Dakar, with six black children…”
“Enough, enough!” exclaimed the captain. “You can come with me. Don’t say another word!”
“And how much will you pay me?” asked Scoobidoo.
“Well, how much do you want?”
“I would like five new francs per day, to buy a bicycle for Bashir.”
“Done. You’ll be paid on your return.”
So it was that Scoobidoo set off to sail around the world. The captain tied her to the bulkhead in his cabin with a pink ribbon, and every morning he asked her:
“Will it be rain or shine today?”
Thanks to her glasses, Scoobidoo replied correctly every time.
The great ship sailed right around Spain, on past Italy, past Egypt, through the Indian Ocean, past Thailand, through the Pacific Ocean, crossed into the Atlantic via the Panama Canal, then headed back towards Europe.
*
One fine morning, when the ship was nearing the coast of France, the cook snuck into the captain’s cabin. Scoobidoo enquired:
“What are you doing in here?”
“Have a guess,” replied the cook.
Scoobidoo took out her glasses, put them on and gasped:
“You’ve come to steal my glasses!”
The Witch in the Broom Cupboard and Other Tales Page 2