by K. D. Worth
Off in the distance, I heard Slade say Max’s name because then his hand rested on my back again, returning what I gave Britany’s spirit. It meant everything to me, having Max there, sharing in the connection. Warmth flowed from me like the way the opal ring heated up, but I was not giving her the Touch.
It was something else entirely.
“It will be okay, Sissy,” I whispered in her mind. “Trust me.”
“I do,” she said aloud.
And then a peaceful warmth settled over me. I opened my eyes. Her face was bright, like she had on that sparkling face powder she’d used once for a school dance. Smiling through my tears, I released her. “You ready?”
Though she no longer resisted, her head tipped to the side. “But what about you? I worry, ya know?”
“You don’t have to worry anymore,” I assured her. “I’m in a good place.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. If I hadn’t died, I would still be that same depressed kid, never fitting in and never feeling like I belonged. For the first time in my life,” I said, realizing it really was true, “I belong somewhere. I’m happy.”
A slow smile spread across my sister’s pretty face. “You’re really happy?”
I shrugged. “Most days.”
Britany looked back and forth between me and Max. “So this is really it? It’s like hello again and good-bye forever.”
“No,” I corrected, blinking back tears. “It’s hello again and we’ll see each other later.”
“When?”
I glanced at Slade. When he gave me a reassuring smile, I knew I would see her again, just not any time soon.
I smiled at my sister. “I have things to do, I’m not ready. But I will be one day.” I took Max’s hand and squeezed it hard. “We’ll be ready one day.”
Britany studied our clasped hands. “Sorry I was a bitch to you,” she said to Max.
“No problem. I tend to bring that out in people.” Max’s ill-timed humor filled the room with awkward chuckles, breaking the tension.
“It’s time, Britany,” Slade said in a kind and soothing voice. Though I’d been surprised earlier to see him as a terrifying angel with black wings and a frightening face, there was nothing but serenity around him now.
She nodded, giving me a tight-lipped smile. “You be a good boy.” She sounded so much like Mom that our eyes met when we both heard it at the same time.
Laughing, I brushed away my tears.
“Take care of him for me,” she said to Max. “Don’t try to make him be someone he isn’t. Some days he’s gonna be sad, and you just have to let him, no matter how much it hurts. Don’t pressure him to be anybody but himself.”
Max gave me a watery smile. “Yeah, I’m learning that.”
Grabbing my sister’s hand, I choked on a sob.
This was why Britany had always been my champion. The only person who truly understood me, she never expected anything I couldn’t give. She was my number one supporter. Yeah, she encouraged me when I would get dark, trying to get me to do things and to come out of it. As much as I resisted, in the end, she always brought me out of it, calming my anxiety. She’d always been there for me.
I was glad I’d been there for her today.
And when she passed on, I would still have a champion. A superhero who gave me strength, the guy who loved me and would always be there for me. Sure, our relationship had its hiccups, and we needed to learn how to be a better team, to trust each other with everything, but Max would be my rock. And I would be his.
“Should I…?” Hesitating, I turned to Slade, then glanced around the room, unsure which of us should escort Britany.
As if on some unspoken agreement, Meegan stepped forward and held out her hand. “Come with me, Britany.”
At that, a yellow door appeared in the middle of the room.
My sister’s favorite color.
Letting go of her and allowing her to take the first steps on her next journey was the hardest thing I’d ever done.
I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Max at my side.
Meegan took my sister’s hand and opened the door. She threw a smile at Max, snapping her gum. “You be a good boy too, dweeb.”
Beside me, Max rolled his eyes and shook his head, giving me a look. I shrugged, too weary to bother with their odd sense of humor. He put his arm around my waist and I held on tight, pressing my cheek into his hair and watching Meegan escort my sister to heaven. Though I knew she would be taken care of, that her emotions would be healed, and it would all be better soon, I couldn’t stop the sob choking my throat. But I tamped it down, not wanting tears to cloud my last glimpse of her.
They walked into the light, slowly fading from view.
And when she was gone the tears poured. “Max….” I clung to him, shaking.
“Shhh,” he cooed, rubbing my back and rocking me.
The bright light didn’t fade, and even through my sadness, I realized the door remained open. Maybe Meegan planned to return so Slade could yell at all of us—I didn’t even care. The wraiths, the shades, it had all been so intense moments ago, but I didn’t care about any of it now. I hugged Max tight, needing his support and feeling stronger the longer we stayed connected. Closing my eyes, I savored his embrace as he held me while I cried.
Magic shifted the air when Meegan returned.
With watery eyes, I looked up to thank my boyfriend’s best friend for taking care of my sister. But it wasn’t Meegan standing in the room.
It was Britany.
KODY—Chapter 20
“WHAT’S GOING on?” Britany asked, wide eyes turning to Slade. “She said to go back and give you this.” She held out her hand and we all noticed the item on her upturned palm.
Meegan’s opal ring.
Max’s grip on me convulsed, and his heart rate sped up.
Too stunned to speak, I just stared.
Slade didn’t appear surprised by Britany’s spirit. Face awash with approachable tenderness, he took Meegan’s ring and slipped it into his pocket. “Thank you.”
“What’s going on?” she repeated.
“Meegan gave you a second chance, Britany.” Slade took my stunned sister’s hand in his. A tremor of magic flitted through the room and I shivered. While I’d never seen anything as beautiful as Slade in that moment, an eerie sense of dread chilled my spine. “Not everybody gets a second chance. Make it a good one.”
As if in a trance, she stared at him then blinked a few times, coming out of it. Shaking her head, she said, “Wait…. am I gonna remember any of this?”
Still holding her hand, Slade shrugged his large shoulders. “No, you won’t, Britany. But this did happen so your subconscious knows. You may experience déjà vu every now and then, but for the most part, no, you won’t remember.”
Britany took a step toward me, blue eyes bright with clarity. “You’re taking people to heaven and you have a boyfriend,” she said with a teary smile. “But I’ll wake up thinking you’re gone forever.”
I nodded, barely able to find the words. “I guess so.”
She smiled at my boyfriend, her voice misty and airy. “Max, take care of him.”
And just like that, she disappeared.
A sob burst out of me, drenched with a mix of sadness, relief, and utter elation. Another magical shift tickled my skin as Britany’s spirit reunited with her body.
Lost in a surreal dream, we watched her body come back to life. All trace of blood disappeared, and she was no longer the healthy young woman we’d been talking to. Once more, she became the frail, sickly girl so consumed with her own demons that she’d almost died. A girl who struggled with addiction for as long as I’d struggled with my own issues. But unlike me, she still had a wounded heart. She was lost and depressed, and when she woke up, she would still be lost. The dark circles under her eyes, the bleeding needle mark, the hair that needed to be washed—funny I would notice that—all of it returned as she took the first breath of her new l
ife.
God,
Please help this life to be a better one for her, I prayed.
Slade picked up the phone Max dropped during our altercation with the wraiths. He dialed 911 and placed it beside Britany. “It’s time to go, boys.”
The faint words of the dispatcher came from the device, “Nine one one, what’s your emergency?”
“We can’t go without Meegan,” Max protested.
Slade examined us, gray eyes filled with sympathy. “Max, Meegan’s not coming back.”
Without warning, he materialized us into Max’s bedroom.
Startled, I glanced around, rubbing away my tears with the back of my hand as those words sank in.
Meegan had given Britany a second chance by taking her place in heaven.
My sister’s life had come at the expense of Max’s best friend.
“What do you mean she’s not coming back?” Max asked in a flat, hollow voice.
I wasn’t sure if he realized we were in his bedroom. I went to put my arms around him, but he stepped away and glared at Slade. I placed my hand on his back, needing his touch as much as he needed mine.
Slade regarded us with a somber, pitying expression. “Max, Meegan crossed over. She’s in heaven now. You won’t see her again for a very long time.”
“No.” He shook his head. “No, that’s total bullshit. You’re lying. Bring her back. Now.”
Slade took hold of Max’s wrist, and my boyfriend struggled before opening his hand. “I can’t bring her back. She made this decision, not me.” He placed Meegan’s ring in his palm and pressed his fingers around it. “She wanted you to have this.”
Max stared at the ring then looked up at Slade, eyes wild. “It’s cold. Why is it cold?”
“It’s just a ring now, Max.”
“Why is just a ring now? Why isn’t it warm?” he demanded, the hysterical sharp pitch in his voice frightening me. “Why the hell is it cold?”
Hoping he could understand what Slade was trying to tell him, I whispered, “Max, Meegan’s in heaven.”
Max shot me a contemptuous glare, taking me aback. “No. No.” He shook his head stubbornly. “This can’t be happening.” He squeezed the ring tight. “I need her. I need her, Slade. Bring her back.”
“You did need her,” he agreed, voice still eerily calm. “That’s why she stayed as long as she did. Meegan’s been ready to go for a long time. But she wanted to make sure you were taken care of first.”
“But I’m not taken care of!” Max bunched his fists at his side, and for a flash, I thought he might punch Slade. “I’m not taken care of. I need her. You have to get her back for me. Slade, you have to! I can’t do this alone!”
One hand on Max’s shoulder, Slade placed the other on me, pushing us together, shoulder to shoulder. “Max, you’re not alone.” Then he looked at me. “Neither of you are.”
The warmth and magic of Slade’s holy power radiated around us, circling between our three forms, and filling me with the strength I would need to help Max through this.
“You two take all the time you need,” he said. “I have to go tell the rest of the team about Meegan.”
“No….” Max moaned. “Slade, please… please bring her back….”
“I can’t.”
Pain lacerated my heart—this was all my fault. My interference caused that wraith to kill Britany. If I’d been obedient, none of this would’ve happened. Meegan wouldn’t have been forced to sacrifice herself. My own selfishness, sneaking around and not telling Max or Slade where I went, had caused the guy I loved to lose his best friend….
“Kody, stop,” Slade commanded in my mind. “Nothing happens on accident. This was what Meegan wanted, to help those she loved when she left. She was able to undo a mistake.”
“My mistake.”
Smokey gray eyes pierced mine. “Yes, but she would have gone anyway. Today, tomorrow, it didn’t matter. Meegan was ready to leave. She was going to leave. You must accept that. She left the way she would’ve wanted. Helping Max and you. Yes, you made a mistake, but you’re just a kid. Meegan knew that and she was happy to make it right. Like I told Britany. You have another chance. Don’t make the same mistakes again.”
Lips trembling, I nodded. “Okay.”
My hands shook and once again, that unending vat of tears and agony, which never seemed to suffer a drought, crested, spilling down my face.
Slade stepped back and the magical circle of fire faded. Without another word, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Thunderstruck, Max sat heavily on the bed. “This can’t be happening. This is just a joke. She’s fucking with me.”
Still trembling, I shook my head and dried my face with my arm. “No, babe, she’s not.”
He stared at me, brown eyes desperate and hopeful. “She’s gonna come back, right?”
“I don’t think so.” My voice cracked.
Studying the ring in his hand, he tossed it once, then caught it. “No, I guess she isn’t.”
Tentatively I sat next to him, unnerved by his casual tone. I placed an arm around him, wishing I wasn’t so skinny, that I was bigger and stronger so I could wrap my arms around him, make him feel safe, and forget everything that happened. I wished I could fill him with warmth the way he did to me. But instead I was weak and pathetic, acting without thinking and putting others in danger.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, guilt struggling for control as my mind tried to absorb Slade’s wisdom. I ran my hand up and down his back, the connection fueling us both.
“Me too,” he said in a tiny voice.
“No,” I corrected, finding it difficult to breathe, as if something tightened around my chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Britany and that I left. If I’d known….”
Max let out a laugh. “Kody, you heard what Slade said. Meegan was planning this. She wanted to leave. She wanted to go to heaven.” A note of bitterness crept into his voice. “And she never bothered to tell me.”
“She knew you would want her to stay,” I reasoned.
“She probably only stayed because I was so depressed when I thought you were gone.”
He was handling this so logically that it unsettled me. I gnawed on my lower lip. Yet he did have a point—the same one Slade had tried to make. Meegan had been planning to do this. She’d taken an opportunity that presented itself. The band tightening around my chest eased up some, and I took a fortifying breath.
It wasn’t my fault Meegan was gone.
Lord,
I don’t always understand everything, and I’m sorry I disobeyed, but thank you for allowing Meegan to give Britany a second chance. Take care of them both….
“I should’ve seen this coming,” Max said shaking his head and staring at the ring. He slipped it over his pinky finger and it fit perfectly. “She had this weird way of teleporting, like the way our charges move toward heaven. Like she was practicing. Do you think she got that place for us as a good-bye gift?”
“Don’t know. But c’mere.”
I pulled him into a hug and he only resisted for a moment. Then I laid us on our sides, me spooning behind him. “You’ll never be alone,” I whispered in his ear, those words he’d cried to Slade still a knife in my heart.
He let out a shuddery sigh, fiddling with Meegan’s ring. “I know.”
Silence cocooned us, keeping us safe from those trying to hurt us and the things that we didn’t understand, if just for this moment. He lay very still and I kissed his neck and rubbed his arms, offering what comfort I could. The warmth between us was there, a symbol of our love and support.
He was quiet for so long, I thought he’d fallen asleep, so I flinched when he spoke. “You know what Meegan’s favorite movie was?”
“No, I don’t,” I said, a little surprised by the randomness of his question. But he was in shock and whatever he wanted to talk about, I would listen.
“Grease.”
Smiling, I snuggled closer. “I
love that movie.”
Max scoffed. “Of course you do, you’re gay. We’d have to take away your gay card if you didn’t.”
His usual snarky manner dragged a laugh out of me.
“Yeah, we memorized all the songs and used to sing them in her bedroom,” Max went on with a nostalgic bit of whimsy in his voice. “This one time I put on her blonde wig and sang ‘Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee.’”
“Shut up! You did not!”
Max laughed, resting his head against me. “That was pretty much the gayest thing I’ve ever done in my life. So there I was, wearing a blonde wig, singing my heart out into her hairbrush, and dancing on the bed.” He sang a couple lines and chuckled. “Then I did a big spin, complete with a flip of my hips… only to find Slade standing in the doorway.”
Uncontrolled laughter burst out of me. “He was not!”
“Oh, yes, he was. He was there the whole time watching me sing and dance. He called me Sandra Dee for like three months. Meegan knew he was there too, but she let me keep singing. I threw the wig at her, but she just kept laughing. She was lying on the floor holding her stomach… just laughing so hard.”
Grinning, I imagined the scene as Max’s body shook with laughter.
A piteous wail rent the air.
Max wasn’t laughing.
Sudden, uncontrollable sobs wracked his body. “What am I going to do without her, Kody?”
I used my strength to turn him around and squeeze him tight. “Oh, Max, I’m so sorry!”
His hands trembled and squeezed into fists, hitting my chest, his body warring with anger and agony as he struggled and wept in my arms. “What… am I going… to do?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered, crying with him.
His hurt was palatable, permeating the air like a thick gas as I breathed, eating me up. The hurt tightened my chest, and I clung to him, whispering assurances. “I got you, babe. Everything is going to be okay,” I told him, though everything was a long way from being okay.
“No,” he choked out. “No, it won’t be! It’ll never be okay again!”
I squeezed him tighter, wishing I could stop his pain, take away the hurt like I’d taken away Britany’s fear of the unknown. All I could offer was comfort and kisses on his forehead—which would never be enough—and never let him go.