by Lynne Graham
‘How can I ignore what you did? What the hell were you thinking of when you went there?’ Alexei responded with censorious golden eyes. ‘You’re my wife. I expect you to behave with dignity. That does not mean confronting Calisto in one of our homes and accusing her of having an affair with me.’
Her face burning at that rebuke, Billie lifted her chin. ‘I wasn’t sure that you still regarded me as your wife. Most of our conversations since our wedding have ended with you walking out or talking about us being over as a couple…’
Golden eyes gleaming, Alexei loosed a harsh laugh of challenge. ‘You make me sound so unreasonable. Nobody would credit that you spent more than a year lying to me and then produced my son like a rabbit out of a magician’s hat the same day that I married you!’
Having paled at that accurate if acerbic summing-up of her sins, Billie swallowed hard. She registered that in his eyes she was never going to live down her past and concentrated on what mattered most to her at that moment. ‘I’m still entitled to ask you what’s going on between you and Calisto.’
‘Nothing sexually.’ Alexei’s wide sensual mouth took on a sardonic twist. ‘It’s business now. Her father died during our relationship and in his will he placed me in charge of her inheritance. As she was one of three children the legacy was not particularly large. But when I parted from Calisto it was on poor terms and it was easier for me to ignore the responsibility her father had given me. While I was doing that, she got into considerable debt.’
‘Debt?’ Billie leant forward to question in unabashed surprise at that statement. ‘I thought Calisto was a wealthy woman in her own right.’
‘So did she, but she didn’t get a big divorce settlement because of the pre-nuptial agreement she signed with Bethune,’ Alexei informed her wryly. ‘And as the wife and then the girlfriend of two very rich men there was never any need for her to watch her expenditure. But once she was living on her own income, she quickly got into trouble.’
‘And because of this, she’s now living in your town house in Paris?’ Billie had already worked out the direction his cool explanation was going in and she was not overly impressed by it. So, poor Calisto had finally been forced to live as an independent woman and settle her own bills! She could see that such an obligation would have been uncomfortable for Alexei in the aftermath of a broken relationship, but she did not accept the need for him to have got involved again with Calisto on such a very personal basis. He could easily have brought in an accountant or lawyer to take charge of the Greek woman’s financial affairs and have kept Calisto at arm’s length.
‘If I had done my duty by Calisto as her late father expected of me, her finances would never have got in such a mess,’ Alexei reasoned as if his involvement and sense of guilt were the most natural and understandable reactions in the world. ‘As she’s currently working for a Parisian fashion house, it made sense for her to use my property as a base and reduce her outgoings.’
Billie wondered why he hadn’t just settled his ex-fiancée’s debts in compensation for his neglect of her affairs. Billie could not help thinking about the amount of very private information about their marriage that Calisto had apparently had full access to and she reckoned that she was only receiving part of the truth from her volatile husband. Alexei and his former lover were clearly on very close terms again. It was possible that that intimacy had not yet stretched to accommodate a renewed sexual relationship, but it could only be a matter of time until it did. Perhaps Calisto was also being given a second chance to prove herself and Alexei was biding his time before reaching any firm decision about his future plans. After all, he had dived at uncharacteristic speed into their marriage and what had that gained him? A son she’d dragged like a rabbit out of a magician’s hat?
‘You shouldn’t have gone anywhere near Calisto,’ Alexei breathed grimly, his hard gaze cutting into her like a laser beam. ‘Today, when you subjected her to a jealous scene, you embarrassed me. I expect more from you than that kind of gutter behaviour.’
While inwardly cringing at that rebuke, Billie perfectly understood how Calisto had delivered her into Alexei’s hands, gift-wrapped and tagged, and as a jealous vengeful witch. Calisto must have got onto the phone within minutes of Billie’s departure to get her version of events in first. Alexei believed she had gone to fight over him with another woman and, as she had never really known how she planned to tackle Calisto or indeed what she would say to her, she could not have come up with a more dignified explanation for her visit.
Alexei surveyed her steadily, lush black lashes screening his gaze to the hot gleaming gold of a hunting animal, while his dark accented drawl took on a husky deep note that shimmied down her sensitive spine like a caress. ‘Before today, I would never have dreamt that you would act in such a primitive way, moraki mou. I’ve always admired your restraint and intelligence.’
‘Well, it just goes to show that you never really know anyone,’ Billie quipped unevenly, marvelling at the stunning beauty and power of his eyes and feeling her treacherous body quicken in a physical response as natural to her in his presence as the feel of her own skin. Her nipples peaking into straining buds, she wondered whether she should shout at him for calling her ‘primitive’ or revel in his evident fascination because something equally basic in him clearly liked the idea of her fighting for him. And nothing had ever illustrated for her so clearly the innate dichotomy of Alexei Drakos the man, censuring her behaviour while reserving the right to sexually savour it.
Billie closed her eyes tight on temptation. And he was the ultimate temptation for her and always had been. But the time for that kind of behaviour was past, she told herself firmly, crushing the inner quivers of desire that would have destroyed her self-respect had she let them linger. Unlike him she refused to take refuge in sex when their relationship was falling apart and she could not accept his current intimacy with Calisto Bethune either.
Maybe he hadn’t yet got back into bed with his ex-fiancée but that did not make his betrayal of their marriage any easier to bear. He had shared their secrets and evidently even discussed who would get custody of their son. She could not forgive him for that disloyalty. He had been right on one score though. Until she had spoken to Calisto, Billie would have fought for their marriage with whatever weapons came to hand. But loving Alexei was no longer enough and she had made some terrible mistakes, she acknowledged painfully. Now, however, she felt alienated and on the brink of being discarded, a humiliating sensation that did not sit well with her pride. It was really time for her to look out for her own interests and those of her son and prepare for a future that did not include Alexei. Furthermore, rather than wait to be pushed she was discovering that she would very much prefer to jump.
‘Billie…’ Alexei murmured thickly.
‘No, don’t look at me that way, don’t talk to me that way either,’ she told him tautly. ‘It’s no longer appropriate.’
Alexei frowned at her evasive eyes and cool intonation, the sensual heat dying out of his intent gaze. ‘What are you talking about?’
Billie breathed in deep. ‘Marrying you without telling you about Nicky was a huge mistake,’ she admitted heavily, lifting her head to study her husband with pained eyes. ‘But fortunately we don’t have to live with that mistake for ever.’
Alexei had fallen very still. ‘Meaning?’
‘You were right. We should get a divorce,’ she extended flatly, pinning her tremulous lip line firm as she voiced that ground-breaking decision.
‘I only entertained that idea before I knew we had a child!’ Alexei raked back at her with disdainful force. ‘Now that I do know, a divorce is out of the question.’
‘But we’re not working out as a couple.’
‘And whose fault is that?’ Alexei raked back at her.
‘It’s not all my fault,’ Billie told him, green eyes flaming back at him like highly polished jewels. ‘Your renewed intimacy with Calisto—’
‘There is no intimacy!�
� Alexei broke in angrily.
Billie gave him a stony look. ‘Well, there’s a closeness that I find unacceptable.’
‘You find it…unacceptable?’ Alexei framed in a raw undertone of wrath.
‘As you said, trust is gone,’ Billie reminded him tightly. ‘Calisto was a major part of your life for many months while I was pregnant and I refuse to stand by on the sidelines again while you entertain her.’
Black-lashed bronzed eyes brilliant with fury at her daring to lay down the law to him, Alexei spread his arms wide in an angry movement of dismissal. ‘You are my wife,’ he growled between compressed lips. ‘That should be enough for you.’
‘But it’s not enough. I feel like an accidental wife, not a real one. You said I cheated you. You regretted marrying me within hours of the ceremony.’ While Billie grimaced, she also held her head high as she reminded him of those facts. ‘I can’t rewrite our past and neither can you.’
A screaming silence that flared along the edges like an inflamed wound fell in the opulent cabin.
‘I won’t give you a divorce,’ Alexei delivered in sardonic challenge.
‘I don’t mind waiting a bit longer to get the legal stuff over and done with,’ she said wearily, a thumping headache beginning to pound behind her temples. ‘But while you can hold things up you can’t stop me getting a divorce. I know enough about the law to know that.’
Bronzed eyes shimmering like polished metal, Alexei set his even white teeth together.
Billie sensed his brooding dark fury and watched his long brown fingers tighten to show the white of bone round the glass in his hand. He was a Drakos, an Alpha male with a very powerful personality, and he was outraged that she should talk of divorcing him when he blamed her for the disintegration of their marriage. She understood that, she understood that perfectly, but she was fed up of eating humble pie, turning the other cheek and staying quiet when she wanted to demand answers and felt she deserved more understanding. As yet she could not even imagine a life without Alexei in it, but in time she would get stronger and she would get over him…oh, yes, she would! She had more than enough strength and resolve and courage, she told herself fiercely.
A barrage of paparazzi awaited them at Heathrow Airport. Cameras flashed to catch the first sight of Alexei Drakos together with his English-born wife since a single official wedding photo had been released. Questions were shouted and, certain someone had asked her about her child, Billie shied away, wondering if Nicky’s existence had now become public knowledge. Alexei stopped dead so suddenly that she almost tripped over him.
‘I have a son,’ he announced with considerable pride and satisfaction. ‘His name is Nikolos.’
And with that Alexei turned to close an arm round Billie and herd her onward out of the airport. ‘You might have warned me that you were planning to do that!’ she exclaimed.
‘It had to be done,’ Alexei fielded without a shade of apology. ‘I will not tolerate speculation about my son’s paternity when a simple acknowledgement from me will protect both you and him from spurious rumours.’
So, now everyone would think that Nicky was the reason why Alexei had married her. He had laid bare the fact to the world that she had conceived his son before he had even got together with Calisto Bethune.
His relations would be shocked, but then they were very well used to being shocked by Alexei and would probably honour him for marrying the mother of his firstborn son, just as his father had once done a generation ago. Billie asked herself why she should still be so sensitive to those facts when she had already reached the decision that their relationship had no future. Obviously she needed to grow a much tougher skin.
‘We’ll fly back to the island tomorrow,’ Alexei told her smoothly as she slid into the waiting limousine.
Billie turned startled eyes on him and he closed a hand over hers. ‘No…’ she began.
‘You can’t run out on our marriage after three weeks,’ Alexei drawled with a soft sure sibilance that filled her with disquiet.
‘Why shouldn’t I?’ Billie dealt him a defiant glance and snatched her hand free of his. Sometimes she thought she had spent half her life waiting for Alexei to return after he had walked away from her. As an employee madly in love with her boss, she had been defenceless. Even when pregnant with his baby she had contrived to be powerless because she had not stood up for her rights. She had been too sensitive, too proud to face her fear of being a burden and an embarrassment to him. But her days of martyrdom and victimhood were now at an end. This time around she would do what was right for her and what suited Alexei wasn’t going to influence her, she promised herself, having stoked up her anger with him to a fine burning heat.
‘As for me running out on our marriage, you didn’t even last the length of our wedding night,’ Billie completed in provocative addition.
‘That is past. We’re not children. Indeed, we have a child to consider. We have to work this out,’ Alexei informed her grittily.
‘I’ve already worked out what is best for me and I’m not going back to live on your island, to stay in your house to be surrounded by your people!’ Billie rounded on him to respond with ferocious resolve.
‘What has got into you?’ Alexei bit out with a roughened edge of incredulity in his dark deep accented voice.
Staring out of the windows at the dark lamp-lit streets of the city and the ever-present surge of traffic, Billie dropped her head to study the hands she had linked together on her lap. ‘I’m thinking of me for a change, not of you.’
‘Try thinking about our son instead. He would be more relevant.’
‘No, don’t you dare try that maternal guilt trip on me!’ Billie flared back at him in furious rebuttal, her small face stiff with resentment. ‘You seduced me, you got me pregnant, then you conveniently lost your memory. I did the best I could for my child in a rotten situation and I don’t owe anyone anything, least of all you!’
Bemused by the positive violence of her response, Alexei studied her fixedly, his bold bronzed profile taut, his piercing gaze assessing her hectically flushed face. ‘Forget about me. I’m actually asking you to put the needs of our son first.’
Billie flung up a hand in a silencing motion, angry that he could dare to attack her on that front. ‘I’ve made enough sacrifices and I’m not in the mood to make any more!’ she warned him.
‘You’re being totally irrational. Only today you flew over to Paris to confront Calisto—that’s not the behaviour of a woman who wants a divorce.’
Billie glued her lips together in a mutinous line. As far as she was concerned taking part in any further discussion concerning Calisto would be humiliating for her and she had no intention of going there.
‘I want a divorce,’ she repeated steadily. ‘I want my life back and my new life will naturally be here in England.’
‘Is that a fact?’ Alexei interposed with a scantily leashed savagery of tone that made her turn back to stare at him.
‘Well, why would I want to live on Speros any longer? At least I can get a job here,’ she pointed out squarely.
‘You’re talking about taking my child away from me as if it means nothing,’ Alexei condemned in an aggressive undertone.
‘But we can’t stay married just for Nicky’s sake,’ Billie protested helplessly. ‘I want more, I need more than some empty charade of a relationship. I’m not prepared to spend the rest of my life paying for the mistake I made on the night of the funeral.’
‘If you live in England, I will see very little of our son. I consider my role in his life to be as important as yours. You’re being unreasonable and unfair. Nikolos needs both of us.’
Billie could hear his continuing surprise at the way she was behaving and she wondered why he expected her to be reasonable when he had been so very judgemental and inflexible since she had fallen off her pedestal with a crash on their wedding night. Right at that moment, after enduring all the stresses and strains of an inordinately long and eventful d
ay, she was at the end of her tether. She was too tired to argue with him, for he would keep up the pressure and refuse to quit until he wore her opinions down and she knew that she could not afford to allow that to happen this time around.
It would be a ghastly joke to divorce Alexei and end up living as his ex-wife on the island of Speros. What life would she have there? Once again she would be living on the edge of his life, watching him with Calisto or some other woman, and for the sake of her sanity she just couldn’t do that any more! A fresh start far away from Alexei and his influence was what she needed, not a rehash of the past when constant exposure to him had enslaved her and ruined her for any other man. So as far as where she lived was concerned she was fully convinced that she had no choice but to be unreasonable as he called it.
A huge weariness that encompassed Billie’s entire body was gaining on her steadily. She let her heavy eyelids slide shut and thought longingly of having Nicky in her arms again. The love of her child would surely fill the giant black hole where her heart used to be. Without Alexei around to upset and distract her, she would be able to concentrate on being a mother. That thought was the very last thought she would later remember.
Billie woke up slowly the next morning. It was just after eight and a twinge of guilt assailed her because Kasma would already have given Nicky his morning feed. The pillow beside hers was pristine and untouched and she knew that once again she had slept alone. Alexei had put her to bed in her unexciting white cotton underwear. She wondered with a sudden savage pain if he had smiled when he saw what she wore underneath her clothes and recalled her warning on that wedding night that had gone so terribly wrong. No, Alexei had probably not been any more in the mood to smile the night before than she had been, she acknowledged unhappily, sliding out of bed and heading into the bathroom for a quick shower.