Christmas came, and Danny was co-opted by his family, so he gave Ash a present on Christmas Eve day, a huge and expensive coffee-table book with gorgeous illustrations of the entire collection of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, which embarrassed the boy because he didn’t have a gift for Danny; but Danny assured him that the two drawings were more-than-generous gifts, considerably better than a mere bought book.
Christmas morning he of course spent with his parents, and his brothers Randy and Tay (Charles Randolph V and Taylor Whitney IV) came over as well, the former with his new wife, Angela. Though he didn’t get along well with his family, he had put a great deal of thought into his gifts for them: a beautiful burgundy silk necktie for his father, a tiny but elaborately enameled antique blue and gold Russian egg studded with tiny rubies for his mother to hang on her charm bracelet, embossed leather desk sets for both of his brothers, blazoned with their different favored football teams’ logos, and a fashionable fox-fur neck-piece with a ribbon closure for his sister-in-law; neither of his brothers nor his sister-in-law gave him a gift, and his parents presented him with an ugly and baffling futuristic wristwatch that told time with an arcane arrangement of colored dots.
He tried not to feel bad about it, knowing he could have expected no better and that the Aunt Ems would make up for it with lavish and thoughtful gifts, but he felt a little bit weepy as he sat down to Christmas breakfast with his family, listening to the men talk about the Mill and football while the women discussed television shows Danny had never seen.
The dynastic celebration was held at the Pine Street house rather than The Aspens, since the Victorian mansion was so much more picturesque and imbued with over a century of family tradition. Gifts at this gathering tended more toward envelopes than wrapped packages, checks from Uncle Charles and the other adults making donations in each other’s names; Aunts Myrtle and Maude, however, gave everyone framed needlepoint ovals bearing inspirational sayings, and Mathilda gave books to everyone (mostly chosen to offend the recipient in some way); Danny received two gifts from each of them, though, ranging from cashmere sweaters to carved emerald cuff-links.
The Vandervere family gave their staff the day off for Boxing Day in the English manner, and Danny was thrilled to be included in the Espinosa family’s celebration at Mrs. Espinosa’s sister’s house in Redding. The housekeeper had given Danny a scarf that she made herself, while Danny presented her with the newest and hottest cookbook on the bestseller lists; he also bestowed small but very pretty gold pendants on Rosa and Maria (who were Mrs. Espinosa’s second cousins), and a very expensive bottle of very old Scotch to his host and hostess.
So it wasn’t until the twenty-seventh that Danny was able to return to his posing with Ash. The artist had continued to work on the painting in Danny’s absence, working up the background, he said, having decided that Danny would be presented standing on a cloud against a star-studded night sky with a white drapery floating in front of his groin: a triumphant god gloating over a world he’d conquered.
The rest of vacation flew by in this manner, the only change to their routine being when Danny took Ash out for dinner at the Grand Hotel on New Year’s Eve and then upstairs to a room he’d rented for the night so they could carouse in privacy and luxury. But before they knew it, the picture was finished and school was about to start.
“Can’t I see it, yet?” Danny asked, leaning over Ash and tracing a finger idly along the exquisite curve of the boy’s pelvic girdle, indicating the painting with a tip of his head.
“Not until it gets accepted for the Art Show,” Ash replied resolutely, “And not even then. You have to wait to see it like everyone else.”
“What, I don’t get special privileges?” Danny inserted his finger into Ash’s navel and kissed his nipple.
“This is your special privilege,” Ash licked Danny’s ear.
“School starts on Monday,” Danny said after a few minutes.
“So?” Ash wondered why he brought up such an odd subject at that particular moment.
“So, are we boyfriends? When school starts, what do we tell people?”
“I don’t think people need to know about us,” Ash said after a long pause.
“You don’t want to be my boyfriend?” Danny asked, not angry, just curious.
“What, kissing in the hallways and holding hands at lunch? Don’t you think you and I are past that?”
“I guess,” Danny lay his head down on Ash’s chest, “Do you want to see other people?”
“Not particularly,” Ash answered at once, “Do you?”
“Not specifically,” Danny thought about it for a moment, “But you never know.”
“Come on,” Ash pulled away from Danny and grabbed his sweatpants, “let me get some more work done while I have light.”
19
The Sunday before school started back up after Winter Break, Danny came home from his afternoon at The Aspens to find Jeremy in the driveway, leaning against a tiny Honda Civic hatchback that was at least ten years old, if not more, painted a very odd shade of blue. He was grinning ear to ear with gleeful pride, as if the thing he was leaning against was a Maserati.
“I finally got my own car!” Jeremy crowed when Danny got out of his car and walked over to the Honda.
“Does it wind up, or take double-A batteries?” Danny teased him, peering into the cramped back seat.
“Don’t be a dick,” Jeremy punched him on the shoulder, and then hugged him tight, “I really missed you, Danny.”
“I missed you, too,” Danny breathed in the wonderful honey-apple scent of the boy’s hair.
“Can you forgive me?” Jeremy asked, pulling back his head so he could look into Danny’s eyes.
“For what?” Danny smiled, already forgiving him for whatever he wanted forgiven.
“For breaking up with you like a coward because I was scared,” Jeremy answered gravely.
“Of course,” Danny kissed him lightly, “Though I will probably need forgiving, too.”
“Did you slut around while I was gone?” Jeremy arched an eyebrow at him.
“A little,” Danny said with a naughty grin, wondering if three days of promiscuity and three weeks with one boy counted as ‘slutting around,’ or as a rather more serious transgression.
“I expected you would,” Jeremy leaned his head against Danny’s shoulder, melting against him, “But we weren’t together, so it doesn’t count.”
While they were standing there like that, enjoying being together again, Danny’s parents drove up the driveway and into the garage. They did not pause to say anything to Danny, even when they walked past him to go into the house, but he could feel their eyes on him.
“I think you just outed me to my parents,” Danny laughed delightedly. He’d been wanting to tell his parents about being gay, but he wasn’t in the habit of speaking unless spoken to, and they simply never spoke to him enough to give him an opening for the topic of his sexuality.
“I’m sorry?” Jeremy wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be sorry or not.
“No, they need to know. I’m sure they already knew, this just confirmed it for them. I doubt they care, they never have about anything before.”
“That’s terrible,” Jeremy frowned, unable to understand how anybody could dislike their own child the way the Vanderveres so obviously disliked Danny, and unable to understand how Danny had turned out so wonderful in spite of his horrible parents.
“We all have our crosses to bear,” Danny shrugged, stepping back from Jeremy so he could look more closely at the little blue car, “And this car really is cute. Did you get it for Christmas?”
“Not exactly,” Jeremy explained proudly, “I seem to have reached an age where nobody knows what to give me as a gift, so I got a lot of checks. It added up to just under a thousand, and I decided to get a car as soon as I got home. I just bought this baby from an ad in the newspaper this morning.”
“That’s wonderful, I’m so happy for you,
” Danny folded Jeremy into another hug and just stood there holding him until he felt his body revving up for the next stage of intimacy, and he had to pull away.
“Don’t,” Jeremy said, pulling him back and kissing him hard.
“Oh, Christ, Jeremy; you’re killing me here,” Danny groaned as his cock shot up to full mast and his whole body caught fire; it was going to take a major act of will to pull away next time.
“I’m ready,” the boy said simply, the two words freighted with meaning.
“Are you sure?” Danny wanted to know.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Jeremy nodded seriously, fire in his eyes, “Where can we go?”
“My room, I think,” Danny considered the options; his room was a little bit risky, for though his door had a lock, one never knew when Mrs. Espinosa was going to come down the hall, and the attic walls weren’t thick. But Jeremy’s first time should be in a bed, not in a car or any other strange place. He took the boy by the hand and led him through the breezeway to the deserted kitchen and up the backstairs, practically tiptoeing down the hall to his bedroom.
Once securely locked in, Danny felt a little awkward: the moment was so heavy with import that it felt like a solemn ritual instead of the sort of fun interlude he was used to. He covered his awkwardness by moving around the room and making it comfortable, turning down the lights, putting some Schubert chamber concertos on the stereo, and starting a small fire in the fireplace; Jeremy also moved around the room, looking at things while Danny busied himself.
“It’s not what I expected,” Jeremy said, glancing over the bookshelves by the window seat.
“What did you expect?” Danny wondered.
“I don’t know… something darker, more decorated. When we talked on the phone, I always visualized you in a room with wood paneling and velvet curtains, Persian carpets and paintings on the walls.”
“More like Pine Street? But it’s a lot more decorated now than it was a few months ago,” Danny walked back toward Jeremy and took him in his arms, “Someone else commented on its bareness, so I got some pictures and rugs and those armchairs out of storage.”
“It’s nice,” Jeremy didn’t want him to think he was criticizing, “It’s just lighter and airier than I was visualizing. I like it.”
They very slowly undressed each other, stopping to admire every part with hands and mouths as it emerged from clothing; falling on the bed and reveling in the freedom of knowing they wouldn’t have to stop, that they could try out everything they’d been fantasizing about since they’d started dating in September, they allowed their passions to escalate and crest without enforcing limitations.
Jeremy did balk at the idea of being penetrated, feeling that Danny’s massive member was something one had to work up to, not something one could take at the first try; and he did not wish to penetrate Danny, either, though the latter was willing and eager to be penetrated. But Danny was accustomed to such: though his first time with a man included all the major practices and a few bits of minor arcana, he understood that a lot of boys were leery of anal sex and never pushed it on them… it wasn’t the only game in town, there was plenty to do without going that route.
A couple of hours later, sated and sleepy, the boys dozed in each other’s arms; Danny was reeling with a sense of completion, the anticipation of four months finally satisfied, the mystery of Jeremy’s body unraveled. He was glad Jeremy had allowed him to leave the lights on, as he couldn’t get enough of looking at the boy’s long, slender, incredibly smooth limbs, as graceful and unmuscled as a girl’s but nevertheless inescapably male, with very little body-hair and a particularly attractive cock that was as long and slim and graceful as the rest of him.
“Are you OK?” Danny asked him when he felt Jeremy stirring and pulling slowly away.
“Fantastic,” Jeremy sat up and leaned over Danny, smiling beatifically down at him, “My only regret is not doing this sooner. I’m sorry I made you wait all these months.”
“It was definitely worth waiting for,” Danny pulled Jeremy’s head down and kissed him.
“I have to go, though,” Jeremy pulled away again, sliding over to the edge of the bed and sitting up, “I can’t spend the night.”
“I wish you could stay,” Danny slid over and stood close behind him, nuzzling his neck and wrapping his arms around the boy’s chest.
“Another time,” Jeremy promised, slithering out of Danny’s embrace and pulling on his clothes.
He and Danny chatted absently about their Christmases as they got dressed and made their way through the silent house the way they’d come, down the backstairs and through the kitchen to the driveway.
“I’ll see you in school tomorrow,” Danny promised, giving Jeremy a good-night kiss at his car. He watched as Jeremy got in, started the little blue car, and drove off into the darkness. He was happy, but was wondering what to say to Ash when he saw him again.
20
When Danny walked into the school building, his arm around Jeremy’s shoulder, he ran into Ash coming out of the administration office with a huge cardboard portfolio under his arm.
“Hi, Ash!” Danny greeted him with a sunny smile, wondering how he was going to take Jeremy’s presence.
“Hey,” Ash answered, his voice impossible to gauge, his face closed down behind his curtain of hair.
“You remember Jeremy?” Danny reintroduced them.
“We met at your house,” Ash responded, putting out his free hand to shake.
“Hey, Ash,” Jeremy smiled and shook his hand.
“Are those your submissions for the Art Show?” Danny indicated the portfolio.
“The rejects, actually,” Ash looked down at the folio and shook his head, “The committee thought these were too ‘disturbing.’”
“What’s disturbing about them?” Jeremy wondered, hoping Ash would show them what was in the portfolio.
“Dunno,” the boy shrugged.
“My Aunt Claudia is on the committee, so it could be anything,” Danny said soothingly, “Complementary colors frighten her. Have you shown them the portrait?”
“Yeah, it was accepted.”
“What portrait?” Jeremy asked.
“Ash painted a portrait of me for the Art Show,” Danny told him simply, wondering how Jeremy would take it.
“Cool,” Jeremy smiled, pushing gently at Danny’s back to encourage him to end the conversation and move on.
“I’ll see you guys later,” Ash said, stepping past the couple and heading for the front door.
“Did it take a long time? The portrait?” Jeremy asked him when they were moving again.
“Four or five hours a day, just about every day of break,” Danny answered.
“That’s a lot of time alone,” Jeremy looked at him sideways.
“Yeah, we got close.”
“Did you fuck him?” Jeremy’s voice didn’t sound angry, it sounded simply curious.
“Yes,” Danny said, unable to lie.
“Do you love him?”
“Yes, I think I do.”
“As much as you love me?” Jeremy turned and faced him.
“Differently,” Danny was a little worried by this line of questioning.
“What am I going to do with you?” Jeremy grinned indulgently, reaching up and slapping Danny lightly, wrapping his hand around Danny’s chin and shaking his head back and forth.
“Whatever you want,” Danny grabbed Jeremy’s hand and kissed the palm.
*****
The first week of the new semester, Danny felt a little disoriented: the play was over, his relationship with Jeremy had changed, he wasn’t fucking around all the time with a dozen people, but what fucking he did now was important and complicated and fraught with emotions.
He felt like he had very little control over his life, and it was scary and satisfying, terrifically interesting but also deeply unsettling. He wondered if this is what love felt like, or if it felt weird because it was just pretending to be love.
He saw Ash very seldom; he’d phoned Ash immediately when he got home on that first day after meeting him with Jeremy, but Ash had seemed completely uninterested in the news that Danny and Jeremy were together again; he seemed not only to not care but to even wish them well, which Danny hadn’t been expecting after their three weeks together — though what he had been expecting, he couldn’t say.
When the weekend came, Danny and Jeremy spent the time apart, though they were in frequent telephone contact; but Danny hadn’t done a lick of homework all week, and felt that he and Jeremy needed to spend some time away from each other, lest every other part of their lives fall to pieces.
On Monday evening after dinner, Danny changed into his riding things and headed out to the stables as usual; but when he got there, instead of Tenorino saddled up and waiting for him, he found the paddock empty. He peeked into the stable, wondering where Kevin was, and heard him moving around inside. Stepping into the dimly lit stable hall, he saw that Kevin was inside Tenorino’s stall, forking the hay out.
“What are you doing?” Danny frowned, bemused.
“Cleaning,” Kevin said quietly, not looking up.
“Where’s Tenorino?”
“Gone.”
“Gone?!” Danny was alarmed, “What happened? Is he sick?”
“He’s gone,” Kevin stopped working and leaned against the pitchfork handle wearily, then looked up at Danny, tears in his eyes, “Someone came this afternoon and took him away.”
“What? How?” Danny was completely shocked, unable to understand what the man was saying, “Was he stolen?”
The Math Teacher Is Dead Page 15