Al glowered at him but continued to chew and didn’t throw his toast on the floor, which Ben took as a positive sign.
“We’re going to church,” Ben reminded him, when Al balked at getting dressed.
Fortunately, the word had the impact he wanted it to. Almost instantly, Al grew calmer and allowed his son to help him into his shirt and do up the buttons. Ben then got dressed himself in a light blue dress shirt and navy dress pants.
“Okay, we can do this,” Ben said, giving himself a little pep talk. “We’re not going to be late.”
If he was honest with himself, he knew he wouldn’t mind being a bit late if it was just going to be him and his dad. The camp church was a welcoming place, where they always saw familiar faces, and it wasn’t likely anything would come to a grinding halt as they waited for Ben and Al to make an entrance.
No, he knew he was nervous in a way that he wouldn’t have been if his summer neighbors hadn’t been going with them.
Ben had suggested that they all ride in one car, which Frankie reluctantly agreed to after he convinced her it would be easier that way.
When Ben and Al came out of their cabin, Frankie and Rae were sitting on their deck waiting.
Ben noted that Rae looked cute in her pink-and-blue-plaid sundress, and he wondered with some amusement how long her hair would behave and stay smoothed into its high, swinging ponytail. He guessed not for long.
When he saw Frankie, his amusement sped away and was replaced by a surge of admiration. He thought she looked like a warm summer day, with her hair curling softly on her shoulders, set off by the bright yellow of her dress.
He swallowed and said, “Let’s go, Dad. It looks like the ladies are waiting for us.”
“Wanna go to church,” Al replied.
“You both look very lovely,” Ben told them, as he held open the back door of the car for Frankie and Rae.
Rae rewarded him with a shy smile and moved her head to and fro to show him how her ponytail would swing back and forth like a silky pendulum. Frankie gave him a look like he’d said something in a language she didn’t understand, and slid into the back seat without a word.
Wordlessly Ben handed her the seat belt, while she in turn helped Rae find hers. Ben ignored Al’s swatting hands and got him buckled in and soon they were on their way.
Ben always enjoyed the drive from the beach to Camp Kindling. The tall pine trees that grew abundantly on both sides of the road gave him a feeling of protection—a green secret haven from the turmoil of the world. But Ben found on that particular Sunday morning that they could not shelter him from the turmoil in his mind.
It was a good thing they were on their way to church, he thought, because he needed to be deep in prayer right now.
Rae hopped with excitement in her seat, her ponytail bouncing in time.
“This is so cool,” she said when they arrived. “Look, Mom, the church is like a big log cabin. I sure hope some animals come in today. Wouldn’t that be cool?”
“Very cool,” Frankie agreed.
Ben could see it was an autopilot response and that Frankie’s eyes were tinged with uneasiness. He guessed that it had been a while since she’d been at church and was nervous about what might be expected of her. He wanted to reassure her that everything would be fine, but the truth was that he knew there would be plenty of curiosity and questions about them being there together.
They arrived as the worship team ended one song and launched into another and quietly slid into the back row. Ben encouraged Frankie and Rae to go into the bench seat first, so that he could be with his father on the aisle, in case Al wouldn’t sit still.
But the atmosphere of music and familiar scripture passages and prayer worked to soothe Al as it always did, and Ben was able to enjoy the sermon, which was about Paul’s affliction and God’s strength being made perfect in his weakness. With Rae sitting between them, he couldn’t see Frankie’s face or gauge her reaction to the sermon.
The hour or so went by quickly and he wondered how eager Frankie would be to make a getaway. Rae was tugging at her hands with a plea to stay for a hot dog and, after what seemed to Ben like a lengthy hesitation, Frankie said yes. He guessed it was at that point she wished she had brought her own car.
During the service, Ben had allowed himself the luxury of forgetting how curious a church family could be: kindhearted, yes, well-meaning, indeed, but human and, along with that, at times all too curious. He didn’t have time to prepare Frankie before clusters of women he had known for years spotted them and zeroed in.
May Watkins had finally stopped pinching his cheeks when he was twenty-four and had gathered the gumption to ask her not to. Still, somehow, Ben always felt that pinch in her intense gaze.
“Ben Cedar!” she exclaimed. “And here we thought you were playing hooky this morning, didn’t we, girls?”
Deb Forrester, Wyn Hoffert and Marybeth Merasty bobbed their heads in unison like a choir on a fact-finding mission. He always thought, with some amusement, that they looked like they belonged to some kind of club that urged them to sport the same short hairstyles and to peer through their glasses in the same bright, inquisitive way.
“Oh no, I wouldn’t do that,” Ben said, his tone mild, his thoughts racing on how to do the impossible. How could he keep their attention off Frankie and Rae? He could only imagine how Frankie would feel about being hit with a barrage of questions and it wouldn’t be good.
“It’s nice to see you, Al,” Marybeth said. “You’re looking dapper this morning.”
Maybe that was his opening. “Dad and I thank you, ladies,” Ben chimed in, as his father’s face was rearranging itself in such a way that looked like his response might not be quite as polite. “I think Dad’s hungry and we’d better get in line for those hamburgers and hot dogs before the lines get too long.”
“Not hungry!” Al said, naturally choosing that particular moment to verbalize his thoughts in an unmistakable manner.
“Oh, let’s head over there together,” Wyn said briskly but kindly. “You might change your mind, Al, by the time we get through the lineup.” She walked beside his father, steering him gently by placing her fingers lightly on his wrist. To Ben’s relief, he didn’t protest, and he was grateful for these women who had known him and his father for so many years, who had been around for some of his own less stellar ones and who still wanted to help.
His feeling of relief passed quickly when, behind him, he heard May say to Frankie, “I can’t tell you how good it is to finally see Ben with a lovely young woman.”
He didn’t dare turn around to see May smile while her eyes blazed with a hundred questions. Most of all, he didn’t dare see the look on Frankie’s face.
Then, somewhere in him, that tweak of amusement took over the way it did at the strangest times, and he once again gave a grudging nod to God’s sense of humor. He found himself perking his ears to see how Frankie would answer.
* * *
Ladies at church, Frankie thought. They were the same everywhere you went. But, to her surprise, there was no malice in the thought. On the surface, the ladies might fit into some stereotypical mold, but she was sure they were capable of depth and unexpected empathy.
Memories she had pushed to the back of her mind because she had needed to disconnect herself from church came rushing back, and one in particular: a lady from her church, who she had long viewed as being prim, always in control and rather judgmental, was the first to visit after Trevor left, and had astonished Frankie with her account of her own failed marriage.
Frankie realized she was willing to chat with these ladies, especially if it gave her an opportunity to find out more about Ben. She quelled her inner arguments before they had a chance to fully surface. Just because she never intended to be in a relationship again didn’t mean that she couldn’t be curious about someone. She just had to make sur
e she steered the conversation away from her and onto what they knew about him.
They exchanged names and shook hands. The ladies cooed over Rae, who was at her endearingly awkward best, ducking her head and scratching a nonexistent mosquito bite before making a run for it to join Ben and Al in line for food.
Frankie watched and willed good manners onto her daughter as the woman who stood in line with them apparently found Rae’s cheeks irresistibly pinch-able. To her credit, Rae stood her ground, but Frankie stifled a laugh when she saw her small jaw lock into place and had no doubt that Rae was doing some inward eye rolling.
“So, how long have you known Ben?” the one named Deb asked.
“Oh, we really don’t know each other,” Frankie returned smoothly. “Our cabins just happen to be across the road from each other at Silver Lake and he was kind enough to offer us a ride when my daughter wanted to go to church this morning.” She hoped the fact that she hadn’t said that she wanted to go to church would slip by them.
“Oh...so you’re not a couple then?” Marybeth chimed in. “We saw you together and we honestly thought...”
They looked so forlorn that, for a moment, Frankie wished that she could tell them that she and Ben were in a relationship. Instead, she briefly relayed the account of their arrival at the cabins and how Ben had offered to trade cabins with them, even though they were strangers.
“That sounds like Ben.” Wyn nodded sagely. She added something that tweaked Frankie’s curiosity. “That boy has come a long way.”
Frankie wanted to ask more about that, but the conversation turned to the vandalism. They all agreed it was puzzling and disturbing.
“Um, the woman with Ben and Al and my daughter is trying to get your attention,” Frankie said, as she noticed her peering back at them with her forefinger and one eyebrow raised in question.
“That’s May,” Wyn said, as Deb grimaced slightly and gave her head one brief shake.
Frankie watched May’s face collapse into disconcertment. Clearly, she had not received the answer she’d hoped for.
“We’re sorry if we’ve overstepped our boundaries,” Deb said. “We’ve known Ben for years and, well, we’ve seen him go through some tough times, is the truth of it. But he’s come out the other side and he’s made us all proud. The way that boy takes care of his father...”
“Plus, we saw the way he looked at you,” Wyn put in, “and we were sure there was something...”
“We just hoped there was,” Marybeth affirmed, “because he deserves someone to share the ups and downs of life with. The way he acts sometimes, you’d think he was responsible for the whole world, but he needs someone to be there for him, whether he admits it or not.”
Frankie smiled weakly as she inwardly wondered what they meant by the way Ben looked at her. It made her uncomfortable so she changed the subject by saying that it had been a good church service. Somewhat to her surprise, as she said it, she realized that she meant it, though she didn’t know if she would ever be a regular churchgoer again.
All the chitchat made the line move quickly, and soon Frankie had her own hamburger, which was slightly burnt but in the delicious way that grilled hamburgers can be. She stopped at a table to put mustard and relish and a slice of cheese on it, added a scoop of coleslaw to the side of her plate, then scanned the group to find Rae.
She located her, sitting beside Al at one of the picnic tables, happily munching her hot dog, which was no doubt doused in ketchup. Frankie shuddered slightly at Rae’s culinary tastes.
Frankie and the other women found room on the opposite side of the table, and she found herself sitting directly across from Ben.
“I hope the ladies here haven’t been ruining my reputation,” he said. His tone was light, but his eyes searched hers, asking real questions.
The intensity in his blue eyes made Frankie’s heart quicken, but she pushed a bantering tone into her reply.
“Oh, we just got past all the hearts you broke in your youth, and we were about to move on to your illustrious career as a bank robber.”
“What do you mean ‘in my youth’?” Ben protested. “I’m still in my youth!”
“Well, compared to Methuselah maybe...”
Chuckles broke out around the table and Frankie couldn’t help enjoying the look of humorous surprise on Ben’s face.
“Well, he’s still plenty young,” May pointed out, “as are you. And he sure could have been a heartbreaker if other things didn’t take up his time. I can’t for the life of me figure out why you never found a nice woman and settled down, Ben.”
The note of lightness fled the table, and Frankie felt her invisible wall locking into place again.
Unmindful, May carried on. “I couldn’t help getting my hopes up when I saw the two of you come in together with your little girl.” Her gaze landed on Frankie. “I have no doubt that Ben would make an excellent father, and I really don’t think that the Lord means for any of us to be alone...”
“I have a dad!” The wounded words flew from Rae’s mouth. Frankie hadn’t been sure she was paying attention, but now she knew with grim certainty that her daughter had been listening.
“I have a dad! I do! And I don’t need another one!”
Rae untucked herself from the picnic table, then ran as fast as she could away from the table.
Chapter Eight
For a moment, Ben was stymied. Then he sprang into action, going after Frankie as she chased after Rae. Fortunately, Rae was wearing flip-flops and hadn’t made much progress. He caught up with both of them with minimal effort.
He directed his words to Rae. “Rae, I know May didn’t mean to upset you and I’m sorry that she did. Sometimes people speak without thinking. Won’t you come finish your hot dog? I know my dad loves your company and I’m sure May would like to apologize herself.”
Rae bowed her head, twisting her foot around her opposite leg and whispered, “S’okay.” Then she lifted her head and said, hoarsely but a bit louder, “It’s okay, but I’m just going to stay here with my mom for a minute.”
Ben’s heart went out to her. Rae was such a sensitive, reserved little girl, and he suspected she was embarrassed over her outburst. He wished he could tell her that he understood more than she and her mother realized what it felt like to lose control.
He dared to look at Frankie then. She returned his gaze, but appeared distant and closed off again.
“If I had my way,” he told her, “we would have stayed far away from a conversation like that. I’m sure you feel exactly the same.”
Frankie gave her acknowledgment with a brief nod and a rather grim smile, then knelt on the ground, unmindful of getting her dress dusty, and spoke to Rae in a low, gentle tone. Ben couldn’t hear the words, but eventually Rae’s face grew less distressed and she nodded slowly. Frankie stood up and offered Rae her hand and, together, they headed back to the picnic table.
Back at the table, earnest conversations were clearly in progress, with a great deal of head nodding and then some smiles, which told him that things had been settled to everybody’s satisfaction.
Except, for reasons he couldn’t quite figure out, his own.
Just then, Frankie caught his eye and offered an apologetic smile. There was an expression in her deep brown eyes like she somehow understood how he was feeling even if he didn’t fully understand it himself.
But before he could determine if Frankie really did understand or if he was just seeing what he wanted to see, Al began to make noises of protest and turned his empty plate over.
With hurried excuses and declarations that it had been great to see them again, Ben got Al up from the table as quickly as possible before his restlessness turned to increased agitation.
As he hurried his father away, he could hear May start feeling her way back into a conversation with Frankie. He didn’t have to be there
to know that her motives were crystal clear.
He heard Frankie say in a way that was polite yet unmistakably firm, “Thank you for welcoming us to your church and for all your interest and hospitality. I think that Rae and I will excuse ourselves now and explore this lovely camp.”
The funny, wonderful thing was, Ben thought, was that if he closed his eyes, he could absolutely picture the way her face would look when she said it—direct gaze, polite smile locked into place.
“Did you like your hot dog?” Rae asked Al, as she and Frankie caught up with them. “Mine was really good!”
He smiled and put his hand on her head. “Ketchup,” he said.
“I liked the sermon,” Frankie said to Ben, and by the way she said it, he knew that she was making a peace offering, letting him know that she didn’t blame him for what had happened.
“The minister’s a good speaker,” Ben agreed. “I’ve heard him a couple of times before and he’s easy to follow and understand. They don’t have the same one here every Sunday,” he explained. “There are various ones from around the area that take turns.”
“Did your dad ever preach out here?” Frankie asked.
“Yes, and he loved it.”
They walked quietly beside each other, enjoying the beautiful scenery around them.
Frankie waited to see if Ben would elaborate on his dad’s experiences at the camp, but he seemed content to just walk. She guessed that they were both glad to have a break from the chatter at the table. She thought about some of the things that had come up in her conversation with the ladies and curiosity niggled at her until she couldn’t help saying, “One of the ladies said that you’d come a long way...”
She saw Ben’s posture stiffen and regretted her words almost as soon as they had escaped her mouth. Yet, she wanted to hear how he would answer—if he would answer.
“Haven’t we all come a long way, one way or another?” he said, turning to her with an unreadable expression.
“I didn’t mean...”
“It’s okay,” Ben said. “It’s in the past and I just don’t talk about it much.”
Instant Family Page 7