The harsh light of a kerosene lantern burned my eyes, illuminating the dark cell. I squeezed my eyes shut as slow footsteps rapped across the room, and someone settled by me with a rustle of cloth. “Janneka,” he said.
I whimpered. What did he want? Didn’t he know by now I had nothing to give him?
“Janneka,” he said again, and I opened my eyes.
He was crouched down beside me, his golden hair spilling over his shoulders. In the firelight, his green eyes gleamed. “Good morning,” he said, reaching out with a gloved hand to inspect a bruise on the side of my face. “I don’t think I made this one.”
“You didn’t,” I said.
He raised his eyebrows. “No one is allowed in here but me.” He eyed the chains that restrained my wrists. “I find it hard to believe you did this to yourself.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t give your guardsman a master key,” I spat. My saliva ran bloody on the ground.
He sighed and clicked his tongue. “I guess we’ll have to take care of that, won’t we?” I shivered as he raked his gaze over my freezing, bloody body. “You’re mine. Only mine. Maybe we should remind him?”
I swallowed, stomach churning at what exactly “reminding” the guardsman would entail. Why couldn’t I just choke on my tongue? I shouldn’t have said anything.
Lydian let go of my chin, and I looked down at the ground. His hands were examining the rest of my body, checking for the cuts and bruises that he made, the swelling infections and pus dripping down lacerations so deep I couldn’t feel them anymore. He was always careful not to let my injuries be completely life-threatening. He wanted me to hurt, but dying meant he’d lose his favorite toy. He tugged my shirt down and touched my mangled right breast—if you could even call it that anymore. It was practically destroyed.
He stopped then and reached around to a bag across his shoulder. I winced as he rustled through it. “Now.” He smiled. “We’re going to play a game, okay?”
I nodded, forcing bile back down my throat.
He bounced a piece of hard cheese in his hand and kept my gaze. “Tell me what makes you so special. Tell me why you keep appearing with the fire. Tell me everything.”
The chains rattled as I shook. He was rambling again, and there was no way to please him when that happened. “I don’t know what you mean.” I must’ve said it a hundred times already.
Lydian stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I know you’re scared. But if you tell me what I need to know, then we can fix this. We can make sure it never happens.”
“What are you talking about?” Tears trickled down my cheeks and I let out a silent prayer to any deity that would bother listening. Take me away from here, bring me anywhere, but let me leave this place. Please help me. My eyes fixed greedily on the food in his hand. It’d been so long since I’d eaten; I didn’t even feel the pain of it anymore.
“Tell you what,” Lydian said, palming the cheese. “Let’s you and I let the guard know who is whose, and then when everyone is well educated, you can eat something.”
I closed my eyes, tears still falling. The lock on the cell clicked again, and someone else stumbled inside. He smelled like firewater, and he was saying something to Lydian in a harsh goblin tone. There was a shriek and the sound of claws ripping through flesh, then the thump as a body hit the floor. The footsteps came back to me, and I willed myself to get lost in the darkness as Lydian fiddled with his belt.
* * *
ONE BY ONE, my feelings returned. Ash and iron burned through my clothes, underneath my skin. The smell of death and blood wafted through the air along with the musky, warm smell of a large animal.
Pain hit me from every angle, the most intense pain I’d ever felt. Nothing could compare to this. Nothing. No absorbed power, no nøkken’s venom, no repeated rapes or beatings, no whip’s lash, nothing compared to the way my body tore itself apart. My insides warred against themselves until I was sure everything in my body had turned to mush. My lungs were squeezed for every drop of air, and I gasped with every breath. Molten lead filled my body, burning and burning and weighing it down, so I couldn’t move or speak or even scream.
Besides the ashes and iron, three blobs of white, black, and brown rested closed to me, and someone sat just beside them, fidgeting and speaking to the blobs like they were real beings.
At first, I tried to stay conscious and hear the conversation around me, but the pain pulled me back each time. Every little part of me was dying its own death. Poisoned, withering, decaying. If I could see myself, I was sure I’d be a puddle of blood and innards on the ground.
“Should it have gotten out of her system by now?” I heard a familiar, worried voice over the buzzing in my ears.
The bond was strong. It will be gone soon. She’s in much pain. The wolf’s voice broke the ice inside my mind. Breki. Seppo was the familiar voice, Breki and the other wolves were with me. A fire lit inside my chest, burning alongside the pain, but this one I didn’t push away. I tried to call to them, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was a strangled sound.
Seppo’s warm hand rubbed my shoulder. “It’s almost over.”
What’s almost over? The Hunt? Soren and Lydian are fighting to the death as we speak. My chest ached. He promised not to leave.
The sun stretched over the horizon, a flaming ball falling across the sky. Breki lay with his large head on my chest, his thick fur warming me like a blanket. As the sun sank, the pain slowly dwindled into nothing until all that was left was an empty feeling. Almost like someone had ripped out an organ I’d only just realized was there.
With the help of the wolf, I sat up. Seppo straightened from where he leaned against Hreppir, the young pup’s ears rising and his tail thudding against the ground at the sight of me. Lykka looked away, her tail still low. “I tried to save him,” I said softly. The she-wolf just whined.
Now that my vision had cleared, I knew where we were. I’d lain in this same exact spot a hundred years ago, clutching an iron nail as I cried my heart out. My burnt village by the border where I’d been spared not once but, now, twice.
Seppo crouched down next to me. “I recovered your weapons,” he said. “Are you able to tell us what happened? Breki said he felt great pain from you. We rushed back here and everyone was gone besides you. You looked dead, lying there so still.”
I shuddered. “We fought against Lydian.”
“I figured that much,” Seppo said. “What happened?”
“Lydian and I were fighting; he was playing with me, I think. He sent a bunch of men to take down Soren. He was about to kill me but then Soren—Soren—” I choked, the words turned to ashes in my mouth, and coughed. “Soren broke free from his enemies and asked Lydian about the ritual. He said he’d go with Lydian willingly if he spared my life.”
Seppo’s blue eyes grew wide. “And then what?”
“He … said something … I can’t remember what, but then there was this horrible pain, and when I woke, he was gone and you were here.” I wiped the tears from my eyes; crying wouldn’t do any good now. Soren was a strong fighter; if he sacrificed himself for me, he knew what he was doing. But it didn’t stop my heart from splitting in two.
Seppo grinned. “He did it, then. He did it and you’re alive.”
“What are you smiling about?” I hissed. “He’s fighting for his life right now. I should be there.”
“He broke your bind,” Seppo explained. “And it didn’t even kill you! You’re free.”
I blinked. “I’m as tied to this world as you are, Seppo. Even if Soren has no hold on me anymore. Even if I can leave the Permafrost.” A bit of warmth trickled into my frozen heart, but I stubbornly believed that no good would come from this.
Seppo growled—the first time he’d done so—and shook his head. “No, Janneke, you don’t understand. He unbound all of it. You have no ties to us anymore. No obligations. You could just leave, and everything would be fine for you. You could—you could live a normal human life in so
me village far away, and no one would know you’d been around goblins for the past hundred years. There would be no outward signs like there would’ve been before. You could hunt without drawing attention to the Permafrost. You’d probably still feel its call, but you could handle it. You have a lot of self-control, I mean. You could leave and never come back and Lydian would be our problem and ours alone. He released you from any type of punishment, any type of backlash, any type of hold our world had on you. That is huge.” He shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. “I don’t think even my mother has enough power to do that.”
The warmth exploded in my chest and drove away the ice. Suddenly I understood, and the dull pain throbbing in my heart melted away like dew. I knew how power worked. When the stag chose the Erlking, it was because he was the one with the most power, and the stag allowed him to kill it. When the new Erlking was given power by the rest of the goblin community, he didn’t hold it. The stag did, until the Erlking called on it. Then it went back into the air for the goblins to use, until the stag was out of power, the Erlking weak, and the lords and ladies of the goblin world powerful and ready to start the cycle again. It was a give and take. Considering what Soren was about to get into, he had given a lot to set me free. He might as well have pulled out a knife and slit his own throat. Even if he did lose the fight, Soren had made sure Lydian would lose me either way. Lydian was sure he would win this, win me, but he hadn’t counted on Soren’s sacrifice to free me, and he definitely hadn’t taken my own will into consideration.
Soren was right about one thing: People vastly underestimated me.
I stood. “We have to help him.”
Seppo stood too, shock etched across his face. “Wait, what?”
“Did you mishear me? We have to help him. He can’t die. He has to become the next Erlking. Gods be damned, I’m not letting Lydian become Erlking.” I started to pace, then snatched my bow and quiver from the ground, counting to make sure all the arrows were there. I grabbed the stiletto from where it was stuck in the ground. “Thanks for getting my weapons.”
Seppo’s mouth fell open. “You could leave. You could leave for good, and nothing would ever come back to haunt you. And you’re going to stay and risk everything. If you interfere with Lydian and he wins, you will suffer whatever he originally had planned for you. And you’re going to do it?”
“Why is that so shocking?” I asked.
“Well, considering you almost died from the breaking of the bond, not to mention everything else you’ve been through, I guess I figured you would be happier living a normal life.”
“My life was never normal, and I don’t want it to be. It just took a damn long time to realize it. Besides, do you want Lydian to become Erlking for all eternity and possibly throw the world into chaos while he’s at it?”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t want that … it’s just…”
I frowned. Seppo’s eyes were wide, and he choked on a cough. “What’s wrong, Seppo?”
“I just—” He coughed again, and I realized he was trying to disguise his laughter. “You are so … unbelievable. Do you ever stop? You nearly died. Multiple times. Everyone else I know—even my own mother probably—would have lain down and quit weeks ago. And yet you’re here, a human for the sake of the gods, running yourself into the ground and somehow continuing to stand. It’s unbelievable.”
I frowned. “Would you rather I quit?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s admirable. Damn stupid at times, but admirable. I think I’ve come to accept that you won’t stop until you’re physically unable to move.” He cast a glance at the fresh bruises on my body.
“If I stopped because I was in pain, I would have killed myself a long time ago,” I said. “I’m a survivor.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “We don’t have to do this. Or, well, you don’t have to. I kinda thought up a plan…”
“Do you think I’d let you go in there alone?” I said. “You’re a … a friend, Seppo. I can’t just let my friends go and attack a deranged goblin bent on ruling the Permafrost for eternity and his crew alone, can I? Besides, I don’t have a plan, so let’s hear yours.”
Seppo smiled, showing the small points of his canines. “In that case…”
* * *
WE RODE THROUGH the night on the backs of the wolves. I couldn’t see in the darkness, but the wolves easily swerved through the forest and dodged the trees and rocks that came in their path. Seppo and Hreppir were in the lead as far as I knew; the only bit of them showing was Hreppir’s lightly colored tail. Lykka’s silver fur glowed in the moonlight. But besides that, everything else was encased in darkness.
“Breki,” I asked the wolf underneath me. “Can you hear the stag?”
The wolf huffed. Aye. I can. But he’s not there yet. We have time.
Plenty of time, came Hreppir’s response.
I wouldn’t say plenty. But enough. Lykka was the only wolf without a rider, and sadness radiated from her fur. Despite their bickering, the arrogant she-wolf missed Soren.
Well, she won’t have to miss him for long. We’ll save him.
We ran until the first, dusky gray rays of dawn peeked over the horizon. Across our backs in bags were the ashes gathered from the land that used to be my home. Even through the thick leather the iron dust burned my skin, and I shifted it every so often, wincing at the pain.
“Are you sure you’ll be able to heat this?” I asked Seppo, not for the first time. It was common knowledge that goblins could channel their power into unique abilities if they wanted. Soren could heal things he nipped. It wasn’t too out there to assume Seppo’s whistling could heat the iron enough for a fire to catch. The young goblin had caused a rockfall already, and I was sure he’d been the one who whistled the attack signal that made our ears bleed during the mountain battle.
“Of course,” Seppo scoffed. “The main problem will be the area around it. We have to make sure the heat goes to the underbrush as well or else there won’t be a big enough fire.”
The first time I heard his plan I thought it was ludicrous, but it was so ludicrous it might actually work. It was dawning on me that most of Seppo’s plans were of that shade. But making a circle of iron and ash a mile around Lydian’s campsite before the stag could be attracted to them, thus causing the stag to stay clear, Lydian’s power to be drained, and giving us a chance to sneak in and grab Soren until we could figure out another way to take his uncle down? Insane.
“Can you hear them fighting?” I asked. “Do you think Lydian’s already trying to draw the stag to them?” Even with strained ears, the air lacked the thunderous clash of two powerful beings battling. The only sound was my own power buzzing constantly.
“I can hear them,” Seppo said. “It’s only just begun. They’re not throwing enough power yet for you to hear anything. The broken bond will probably make it harder. Besides, you’re so powerful yourself, bond or not, you might not even notice.”
I bit my lip, uncomfortable with the gaze the young halfling was giving me. “You act like I’m more powerful than you are, Seppo.”
Seppo didn’t look up from his path. “You are.”
“That’s not possible,” I said. “I’m a baby compared to you. The only goblin I’ve met who was younger than me on this hunt was Rekke. And then, not by much, and she still should’ve been in the nursery.”
He shook his head. “Only in age. I’m five hundred and twenty this year. I’m the equivalent of a human your age, almost. But you’re still more powerful than I am. It’s not just Soren who is above me; you are too. It’s almost humiliating; a human being more powerful than me. But I suppose I never really cared about power until you showed up.”
I looked away from him, guilt sinking my stomach down. “I’m sorry if I make you feel worthless.”
He shrugged. “Not worthless. Just … like I’ve wasted time. This hunt was never serious for me, not like it was for Soren, but…”
“But what?” We were almost a mile out,
almost time to put our plan into action.
As the dawn came closer the thunderlike sound of clashing powers shook the sky. They were fighting. All around me I felt Soren’s essence, like he was embracing me still, even now.
“If I live through this and Soren becomes Erlking, you better believe I’m going to negotiate to keep more of my power. Five hundred years to realize how serious it is.” He snorted. “The baby figured it out before me. Typical.”
“I’ll convince him, if you can’t,” I said, glancing at the sky. “Do you think it’s almost time?”
Seppo looked and nodded. “If what I’ve read is correct, a goblin’s power peaks on the threshold between night and day—the witching hour. If the stag is going to come, it’ll come then.”
Breki followed Hreppir and Lykka’s trail through the forest. They crept silently, weaving through the forest in hunting crouches. Breki’s breath was heavy in his chest, but when I asked if he was all right, he only said one word: “anticipation.” Whatever happened tonight didn’t just affect goblins, but the Permafrost as a whole. My hands shook and I clenched them into tight fists. It was all the more reason not to fail.
Seppo slowed Hreppir to a stop when we were a mile out and climbed off. I followed his lead as he explained how to rig the bags to the wolves so they would leave a trail of ash and iron behind them. He motioned for Breki and Lykka, the wolves chosen for the task. “Each of you complete half of a circle, from where we’re standing now. When you’re done with your half, cover the other’s trail again. Then get out of there before the fire is lit.”
Breki nodded his large dark head and Lykka huffed in response. Seppo grimaced, and I imagined the she-wolf was telling him exactly how she felt about being ordered around. Hreppir nudged Seppo, pressing his cold nose into the halfling’s ear. Seppo rubbed the young wolf between his ears. “I hope this won’t be the last time we see each other either. Stay safe, keep out of the way. We don’t want Skadi getting angry.”
White Stag Page 26