The Golden Chance

by Jayne Ann Krentz

  “Kinship or not, the last thing she would want is for the truth to come out. That would tarnish old Burke's image as well as the image of family unity beyond repair.”

  “Right. In this case, poor Eleanor was forced to choose which family to protect. She stuck with the Castletons, naturally, although she could never really turn completely on your family, either. She's very fond of you and Reed. So she tried to ignore everything, as usual, and did her best to keep the image intact. She's an expert on living the image.”

  “For the past three years she was the one who kept me posted on what was happening in the families. Why did she bother?”

  “She felt guilty about the way you had been forced to take the rap. But there had to be a bad guy, and you were the logical choice for the job. She could not admit it was Burke.”

  “And there was my father, conveniently offering marriage to atone for my behavior.”

  “And as a means of keeping his grandchild. Don't forget that part. He really did believe the baby was yours.”

  Nick frowned. “Why was Hilary so certain Crissie would have backed her with the shares? How did those two get to be so close?”

  “Crissie and Hilary were lovers.”

  “They were what?” Nick stared at her, dumbfounded.

  “You heard me.”

  “Hilary prefers women?”

  “Yes. So did Crissie. Don't look so shocked, Nick. Fact of life, you know. Some women do.”

  He looked a little dazed. “I know. I realize that. But I never thought Hilary might be like that. It just never occurred to me. Damn. It explains a lot. Maybe that's why we…she and I…Maybe that's why I could never get her to…”

  “Could be,” Phila agreed.

  “And Crissie?”

  “Uh huh. She hated men because she had been badly abused by a couple of her mother's live-in boyfriends. Knowing her father had deserted her before she was even born didn't help matters, either.”

  Nick's expression was stark. “What about you and Crissie?”

  Phila shook her head, a small smile playing around the corners of her mouth. “No. We were friends, Crissie and I, but not lovers. Frankly, I wasn't sure I was cut out for sex of any persuasion until I met you.”

  Nick grinned slowly, his eyes revealing his satisfaction. “Aw shucks, ma'am, t'weren't nothin'. Just glad to be able to help out.”

  “Sometimes the redneck in your soul is not far below the surface.”

  “I told you in the beginning I come from a long line of shitkickers.”

  “So you did.”

  Nick paused and then said gently, “You didn't tell me what you were celebrating.”

  She looked at him. “I just found out today I'm not pregnant.”

  “I see.” He watched her with one of his inscrutable expressions.

  Phila was annoyed by his lack of reaction. “Well? Aren't you relieved?”

  “Not particularly. What about you? Are you relieved?”

  “Of course I'm relieved. Why shouldn't I be relieved?” She began to pace the kitchen, “This makes everything much simpler all the way around.”

  “You think so?”

  “Don't be dense. It certainly does.”

  “I guess I don't have to worry about you coming after me with a gun,” Nick observed thoughtfully. “But I can't help thinking that a miniature Philadelphia would have been sort of cute.”

  “It's not a joking matter, Nick.”

  “No, ma'am.”

  “This way we both have all our options open.”

  “Right. Nothing like having options.”

  “Are you going to take this seriously or not?” she raged, swinging to a halt in front of him.

  “That depends.”

  “On what?”

  “On the answer to my next question.” Nick braced his hands on the counter and leaned back. He studied Phila carefully. “Do you think,” he said, “that it's just barely possible you might be a little in love with me?”

  The room spun around Phila. She reached out and grasped two fistfuls of Nick's pleated white shirt and scowled fiercely up at him. “Are you making fun of me?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “You're laughing.”

  “No. It's just a nervous reaction, I think.”

  “You are never nervous. You're always cool as a glacier. Besides, what have you got to be nervous about?” She tightened her hold on his shirtfront.

  “Well, I'm in love with you, and it stands to reason I'm a tad anxious in case you might not be in love with me.”

  “Nick.” She released his shirt to clamp her hands behind his head. Then she stood on tiptoe and pulled his face down to hers. Her mouth crushed his until she felt his teeth grind against hers.

  “Does this mean yes?” Nick lifted his head and grinned down at her.

  She clung to him, burying her nose against his pristine white shirt. “I love you. I've been falling in love with you for ages. I was so disappointed at first today when I discovered I wasn't pregnant. Then I told myself it was for the best. It is for the best. Only it would have given me a good excuse to hang around you and I did want to hang around. Oh, Nick, I was so scared you wouldn't be able to love me back.”

  He propped up her chin with his finger, his eyes gleaming behind the lenses of his glasses. “To tell you the truth, I was sort of hoping you'd gotten knocked up that first time. I realized it the next morning when you threatened to come after me with the gun. I found myself thinking that wouldn't be such a bad fate.”

  “Knocked up? Is that any way to talk? Show some respect, Lightfoot.”

  He looked down at her with eyes full of laughter. “I'll try. But I think I could do a much better job of it in bed.”

  A rush of excitement went through her, and then she remembered exactly why she was celebrating. Phila sighed and leaned her head back against his chest. “Soon,” she promised.

  “Yeah, like two minutes from now. Let's go, honey. I can't wait for you to start ripping off my clothes.”

  “Nick, for heaven's sake, weren't you listening? I said I was celebrating the fact that I wasn't pregnant, remember?”

  “How could I forget?”

  Phila grew exasperated. “Well, how do you think I first realized I wasn't knocked up, as you so delicately put it, you big idiot?”

  “Uh, the usual way, I guess?”

  “Yes, the usual way. Now do you get the point?”

  “About not going to bed? I fail to see the problem.”

  “Nick, for pete's sake, can't you demonstrate a modicum of sensitivity here?”

  “I get it. You're embarrassed at the idea of throwing yourself at me during this particular time of the month. How's that for sensitivity?”

  Phila collapsed against his chest. “Good lord, what brain power. Must be all of two watts. Hard to believe they let you run a zillion-dollar-a-year corporation.”

  He nuzzled the place behind her ear and wrapped his hands around her waist. “I've got news for you, sweetheart, a good executive never lets petty details get in the way.”

  “But, Nick…”

  “I don't mind, if you don't.”

  “Well, I certainly do mind. It doesn't sound like a respectable idea at all.”

  “Are you uncomfortable? Got cramps?”

  “No.” Her voice was muffled against his shirt. “This is getting embarrassing.”

  “Are you flowing very heavily?”

  “No. Just spotting. I told you, I barely started today, but…”

  “Then let's go fool around, huh?”

  “Nick, I can't. I'm too embarrassed by the whole idea, and that's that.” She pushed herself away from him and started to stalk out of the kitchen. Nick caught up with her at the door.

  “Take it easy, love,” he said with a smile and scooped her up into his arms. He started down the hall to the bedroom.

  “Where are we going? What are you doing?”

  “You are obviously too embarrassed to make your usual ass
ertive moves on me tonight, so maybe the time has come to try it another way.”

  “What other way?”

  “Trust me.”

  “Hah. Why are you carrying me?”

  “Because I feel like it. Do you mind?”

  She thought about it carefully. “No, I guess not.”

  “Good, because it's too late to argue.”

  He strode into the bedroom and stood her carefully on her feet while he turned back the covers on the bed. Then he smiled at her as he removed his glasses and set them on the bedside table. There was love and laughter and a rapidly kindling desire in his normally cool eyes.

  “Okay,” he said. “Sit down.”

  Phila sat down abruptly on the edge of the bed. She watched with more curiosity than anything else as Nick went down on one knee in front of her and began removing her high-heeled evening shoes. “What are you doing now?”

  “What does it look like I'm doing? I'm undressing you.”

  “You're doing a good job of it.”

  “I've been learning from you,” he said. He eased her out of the black gown and then went to work on her pantyhose and bra. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his hands.

  “Go take care of things in the bathroom, honey. When you come out, I'll be ready.”

  Phila nodded agreeably and opened her eyes just far enough to find the bathroom door. When she emerged a few minutes later she saw Nick waiting for her. He was naked and fully aroused. She stood staring at him, thinking about how magnificent he looked.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi, yourself.”

  “I used to think you were too big, you know,” she said.

  “Did you?”

  “I don't like big men.”

  “Maybe I'll shrink with time.”

  “I doubt it.” Then she giggled as her eyes went lower to his heavy, thrusting manhood. “On second thought, maybe parts of you will shrink from time to time.”

  “But probably not for long. Not with you around.” He came forward and took her hand to draw her over to the bed.

  Phila sank down onto the sheets with a vast sense of relief. “Do you really love me, Nick?” She gazed up at him with dreamy eyes.

  “I really love you.”

  “I've never been in love before. Not really. It's nice, isn't it?” she asked.

  “Very nice. And for the record, I haven't ever really been in love before, either. Not like this. Nothing has ever felt the way it does with you.”

  He ran his fingers slowly along the inside of her thigh. She squirmed a little beneath the sensual stroking and somehow his palm slid over her, cupping her intimately. A familiar liquid heat began to build between her legs.

  “Nick?”

  “Hmm?”

  “You're going to do this your way tonight, aren't you?”

  “Yes.” He kissed her breast and then raised his head to look down at her. His eyes were intent. “I want you to learn to trust me in every way there is.”

  “Yes.”

  “Will that be so hard for you?” he asked gently.

  “No.” It was the truth, Phila thought in growing wonder. She was floating. His hands felt good—strong and sure and safe. His mouth drifted lightly, lazily over her whole body. He tasted her as if she were a rare delicacy, sampling the curve of her shoulder, the underside of her breasts, the insides of her ankles and every place in between.

  It had never been quite like this before, she reflected in a fleeting moment of rationality. She had never just lain flat on her back and given herself up to the erotic sensations. Always before she had been too busy exploring him, learning her own power, delighting in the thrill of being able to make him explode beneath her touch. Too busy feeling safe and in command of everything.

  For the first time since she had met him their lovemaking position was reversed. She waited for the familiar sense of panic. But nothing happened. Everything was happening so slowly and she was feeling so relaxed that she could not manage to work up any real alarm.

  This was Nick, and with Nick she would always be safe.

  His hands continued their infinitely patient movements. Time ceased to have any meaning for Phila. She felt heavy and warm, filled with a languid sensuality that made her begin to twist and turn on the sheets. Her legs parted.

  When Nick's finger strayed into the crisp strands of silk at the apex of her thighs Phila moaned and pulled a pillow over her mouth. His finger stroked lower, separating the soft folds and circling her gently.

  “Nick, Nick.” Phila tossed aside the pillow but did not open her eyes. She lifted herself against his hand and he slid a second finger into her moist heat. “Oh, my God, Nick.”

  “Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

  “Yes, yes, yes.”

  “How about this?”

  She trembled and clutched at the pillow again as he flicked the small, swelling nub of sensation between her thighs. Simultaneously he plunged his fingers back into her and Phila was suddenly flying into a million sparkling pieces.

  “Come here.” Instinctively she released the pillow and grabbed at him. In that moment it didn't matter who was on top and who was on the bottom. She just wanted to feel all of him. She had to have him close to her.

  Nick allowed her to pull him down on top of her. He entered her heavily as the last tremors of her release began to fade. He plunged quickly, withdrew himself almost completely and then, when she cried out in frustration, drove forward again.

  Nick was the focus of her whole world. He was over her, in her, enfolding her, confining her within the sensual prison of his arms. Phila was aware of his weight along every inch of her body. She was also aware of feeling safe and cherished as she never had before in her life.

  She felt as if she had finally come home.

  Before Phila could grasp the fact that her first climax was nearly over, another one was upon her. This one was slow, deep and seemed to last forever. She called Nick's name and held him closer, wrapping her legs around his hips.

  “Sweetheart. Oh, Phila. Love me, Love me.”

  “I love you, Nick.”

  Nick went rigid in her arms, arching over her, filling her, crushing her beneath him as he lost himself in her warmth. Phila was dimly aware of his shuddering release and she held on to him more tightly than she had ever held on to anything or anyone in her life.

  When it was over he collapsed along the length of her, his legs pinning hers, his hands holding her wrists gently captive. His solid weight pressed her deep into the bedding.

  Phila came slowly back to her senses. The first thing she was fully aware of was the musky, sexy scent of the man lying on top of her. The next thing she focused on was the fact that she was trapped beneath Nick's full weight. She waited again for the panic, but it did not come.

  When the old fear did not materialize, she began drawing an interesting pattern on Nick's strongly contoured back.

  “You all right?” He shifted drowsily, lifting himself up on his elbows. His eyes glittered with the age-old expression of the fully satiated male, but there was a tenderness in his gaze that made Phila catch her breath.

  “I think so.” She smiled up at him. “You're on top.”

  “I told you I decided it was time to experiment with a new position.”

  She grinned. “I think the basic missionary position is considered a classic.”

  “You've got to admit that, for us, it's definitely a change of pace.”

  “True. Very wicked.”

  He waited a few seconds and then made an observation. “I can't help noticing that you're not clawing and kicking and trying to push me off onto the floor.”

  “No.” She moved one leg experimentally. Nick let her slide it out from under his. She curved her foot and drew it up along the back of his calf. The hair on his leg tickled the sole of her foot, and she smiled.

  “Do you like it better this way?” Phila asked softly, searching his face.

  “I like it any way I can ge
t it with you.” He kissed her throat. “Believe me, there's nothing on this earth like the feel of you throwing yourself on top of me. But I've been wondering when you'd trust me enough to let me return the favor.”

  Phila narrowed her eyes. “It was a matter of trust, in a way, wasn't it?”

  Nick nodded, his gaze serious. “I sensed that much right from the beginning. I figured the day you could let me make love to you like this would be the day I'd know for sure we were making real progress in this relationship.”

  “Typical of a man to look for progress in terms of a physical relationship,” she said with mocking scorn.

  “Yeah.” He kissed her thoroughly and moved reluctantly off to the side. “Not, you understand, that I ever want you to give up your patented flying assault tactics.” He yawned.

  “You're a greedy man.” She punched him lightly on the shoulder and slid out of bed. “Be right back.” She headed for the bathroom.

  When she returned a few minutes later she thought he had gone to sleep. But his arm curved around her as she crawled back into bed beside him.

  “I've been thinking,” Nick said.

  “What about?”

  “Getting married.”

  Phila froze. “Married! Who? Us? You and me?”

  “You've got to admit there's a certain logic to it.”

  Phila sat up, holding the sheet to her breasts. “Good grief, Nick, we can't possibly get married.” She swallowed nervously. “But thank you very much for asking,” she added lamely.

  He didn't move, but his eyes pinned her in the shadows. “You've got a problem with the idea of marrying me?”

  She took a steadying breath. “Be reasonable, Nick. Anyone who marries a Lightfoot or a Castleton marries into a lot of family. It would be miserable for everyone concerned if you married someone the other members of the families didn't like. Let's be honest here. If there's one thing we can say with absolute certainty, it's that I'm not Miss Popularity as far as the rest of the Lightfoots and Castletons are concerned.”

  “Phila, I'm asking you to marry me, not the other people in the families.”

  “They could never accept me, Nick, and you know it.”