by Bethany-Kris
The pregnancy test flashed with the word pregnant.
Over and over.
It had been flashing that for thirty minutes now. Her heart was so full—happiness, trepidation, and joy. A love so fierce, she could hardly breathe. Already, she loved this baby. A child she didn’t know, and would not see or hold for months. A child whose gender was still unknown, and whose name was yet to be picked.
And yet …
God, she loved this baby.
Still, the hesitance she felt was also very real.
Long ago, she and John had decided that children would be a very carefully planned event for them. When both of them were ready, and when everything was handled, then they would move forward together on having children.
This had not been planned at all.
Certainly not carefully.
The terrible chest cold that left Siena with a nasty infection, and led into pneumonia that she couldn’t shake caused her to miss the appointment for her shot. She had been stuck in bed, and then in the hospital when the pneumonia got really bad.
John had barely left her side, of course.
Once she was better, her doctor recommended she wait until her cycle started at least once—as she hadn’t had a period in years since starting the shot—before they started the birth control again. They had been advised to use condoms as a backup method.
Yeah, well …
Her cycle never started. She and John didn’t know what a fucking condom was considering they hadn’t used them since the start of their relationship years ago.
They both knew better.
She knew better.
This was bound to happen.
Siena had promptly vomited every bit of the eggs and bacon John had left for her in the oven before he left for his morning jog. She had been keeping a pregnancy test hidden in her purse … just in case.
A part of her already knew.
Siena tapped the test against her palm again.
Pregnant, it flashed.
She was still trying to figure out a way to tell John and not surprise him, so to speak. She knew it was going to be practically fucking impossible. There could be no cute reveal that she secretly recorded, and then posted for the world to see. There could be no baby shoes in a gift box for him to open and be surprised.
None of that could happen.
She had to take away that element of shock so that this did not feel like something John was not ready for in the first place.
Easier said than done.
Children had been his one sore topic for years. Not because he didn’t want to be a father, but because she knew he worried that he was going to pass on the same genetics that had been given to him. Whatever it was in his DNA that left him with a disorder that clouded and colored his life, thoughts, and emotional processing a little bit differently than everyone else.
It didn’t matter.
Children had always been non-negotiable for her. And she knew without a doubt that John would be the best father.
There was nothing wrong with him. There had never been anything wrong with him. Just like their children—nothing would ever be wrong with them, either. Regardless, they would be perfectly them. Little babies made by people who loved each other and would love them.
They would have kids.
It was simply when.
Siena figured that time was now.
So, she took a moment to absorb how different everything would be now. Then, she stood up, shook off the overwhelming emotions, and began planning how she would tell John.
NINE
“Sorry, sorry,” John muttered as he entered the master bedroom of their home. “I didn’t mean to be this fucking late.”
“It’s all right.”
But was it really?
Already, Siena was sitting at her vanity, a silk robe tight at her waist as she removed her makeup for the day and prepped for the night. It wasn’t like they’d had plans today or anything, but he did promise to be home for supper and yet …
It was dark outside.
Even the streetlights were on.
Which meant he undoubtedly missed supper with her because she probably waited for him and when he didn’t even call—because he got caught up in everything else—she just packed it away and readied for the evening. He bet, if he went downstairs to look, he would find a container of food waiting for him in the fridge.
Because that was his wife.
She never complained.
Fuck.
John stood just beyond the doorway with his blazer half on and half off, and sighed. He gave Siena a look from the side where she watched his reflection in her vanity mirror. There was no disappointment or anger staring back, but he didn’t have to see it from her. He felt enough of it for himself to last them both a lifetime.
Nature of the beast.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” he said. “I didn’t think about it, really.”
“It’s okay. I kept busy.”
He had the greatest urge to go to his wife, wrap his arms around her, and hide them both away from the world for the night so that he could remind her of each and every reason that he loved her. But most importantly, for the patience and understanding she constantly showed him.
“Get ready for bed,” Siena told him.
John chuckled, passing another look at the window behind their bed and the darkness outside. “Yeah, I better.”
She tipped her head toward the walk-in closet, and he followed her unspoken order to go. Inside the closet, he changed out of the suit that felt like a second skin a lot of the time. It was only inside his home and on lazy days when he knew he would be doing absolutely no work that he was able to wear anything that wasn’t a fucking suit. Pulling on a pair of sleep pants, he heard Siena speak from the bedroom.
“Where were you today, anyway? You didn’t even show up for lunch at the restaurant?”
“Therapy,” he muttered, “and then work.”
Which wasn’t a lie.
John hadn’t quite decided when he was going to tell Siena about Leonard—and now this new development of Cree—but he would. Soon. Mostly, he wanted to have everything all figured out for himself and how he felt about it before he brought someone else’s opinion into it, even if it was his wife. Siena would understand regardless if he told her now or two months from now, although he didn’t think he would wait that long.
He just … needed some time to process.
What was so wrong with that?
“And everything is good?” Siena asked.
John hesitated before he came out of the walk-in closet. Just long enough to consider his wife’s question and how he wanted to answer it. Was everything good? He couldn’t quite say that and because he didn’t lie to Siena, he settled on replying, “It’s getting there.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
Back in the bedroom, John headed for the bed and pulled the blankets back. Then, he rounded the end of the bed and moved to stand behind Siena as she finished her work at the vanity. It was his favorite part of the day, though he’d never told his wife that, to watch her do literally anything. Even if it was something like prepping for the night. While their life had become busy and chaotic over the last three years, John found peace in remembering the fact that he would soon be home with her—just them together—doing things like this.
He needed that.
Needed her.
“John?”
“Hmm?”
He leaned over her from behind to kiss the top of her head. In the vanity, her smile grew while his kiss lingered on her hair. He breathed in the sweet floral scent of the shampoo his wife loved so much, and the vanilla perfume that always kissed her skin.
John tangled his fingers into her hair and held tight just because. He wasn’t quite ready for her to move yet. “Love you.”
Siena reached behind to pat his cheek and the three-day scruff he’d yet to shave—but desperately needed to. “I love you.”
<
br /> “What did you want, babe?”
“I was thinking …”
“Keep going.”
He stood a bit straighter, but she kept a lock on his gaze in the vanity mirror. Although, when her gaze traveled down his body, taking in his bare chest, and the way his sleep pants hung low on his hips, John gave her a quick wink.
She enjoyed looking.
So did he.
They could get to that part of their evening soon.
“I was thinking about the bedroom across the hall,” she said.
“The empty one.”
“We kept it empty for a reason.”
The skin of her shoulder felt like silk under his fingertips. “For the someday nursery, you said.”
“Yeah, for that.”
“What, did you want to turn it into a private office or something?”
“Or something,” she replied.
John took his attention off the silkiness of his wife’s skin to meet her gaze in the mirror again. Besides, soon, he’d have her in bed with him and then he could touch her as much as he fucking wanted. “Okay, what, then?”
“What do you think about pastel green?”
“For a color?”
“Like paint,” she said. “It’s neutral.”
“So is beige.”
“But beige doesn’t really fit for a nursery, John.”
That took John a second.
Then, two.
He relaxed a bit as he thought to himself, is she trying to tell me something? The topic of children had only come up a handful of times between them. Mostly that they wanted kids, but John had his own reasons for wanting to wait. Some of those reasons dealt with the business he found himself in, and others were because of his genetics that caused him pause. Not that it mattered because he knew, someday, children were in his future. They just didn’t talk about it a lot and he was fine with that.
“No, I guess it doesn’t,” he eventually said.
“I would really like to start getting the nursery set up, John.”
“Would you?”
Siena shrugged, a soft smile curving her lips. That grin of hers was enough to make him want to kiss her again, so he leaned over and pressed another to the top of her head, murmuring, “All right, I think we can do that.”
“Because we’ll need one.”
John arched an eyebrow and watched Siena in the mirror. “Will we?”
“What names do you like?”
He swallowed hard. The silence stretched on. He didn’t really have to think of a name. One was already at the tip of his tongue, and he’d always wanted to carry it on, if he could. “Luciano for a boy.”
“For your dad,” she said.
John nodded. “And for my grandfather, yeah. Johnathan for a middle name.”
“What about for a girl?”
“I don’t know.”
Siena grinned. “You better figure it out, don’t you think? We’ll need to know.”
Sucking in a quiet, quick breath, John tightened his grip on Siena’s shoulders. Maybe he should have paid more attention to what his wife was saying because yes, he realized as he kept watching her in the mirror, she was trying to tell him something.
Something important. God. This was not at all what he expected to find when he came home tonight, but it was still amazing all the same. Scary because he understood how much their life would change, but still wonderful.
“That so?” he asked.
“I know this isn’t happening the way we talked about it, and—”
“Nothing is ever as I plan, Siena.”
“Are you happy?”
“And terrified,” he admitted. “But so happy.”
Again, the silence came. He didn’t mind.
Siena turned around on the vanity’s chair and pulled John in for a kiss that set his heart on fire. How she was able to do that for him, he would never understand. He would always love her more for it, though.
“I’m going to be a dad?”
His question whispered against her lips. Siena smiled along his when he kissed her again and she replied, “You are—we’re having a baby, John.”
TEN
Eight weeks later …
“Oh, my God, John,” Siena breathed. “We have to get ready for our dinner. Everybody will be here at—”
“No,” her husband replied, his voice gruff and thick in her ear. “What I need is for you to come again. And then maybe again, but if you keep squeezing my dick like that with your pussy, you’re going to make me bust a nut before I can get you off a third time.”
Shivers raced all over her body. Thrusts accompanied every single one of his words. He fucked her from behind, bent over his desk, with her hands wrapped in one of the two silk ties she’d brought in for him earlier.
Siena knew exactly how this moment happened—those damn ties. Or rather, just the one. She brought him in two options to choose from to wear for the dinner they were throwing for his family where they would announce the pregnancy. She dared him to do anything but a solid color, and he dared to ask if he could just do anything with the tie instead.
So, here they were.
Not that she was going to complain about this. Fuck. She loved nothing more than when John let go of all his control and let loose on her.
Really fucked her.
Just like he was doing then.
It wasn’t entirely the fault of the tie seeing as how it seemed like the moment her husband knew she was pregnant, he just couldn’t get enough of her. John could be insatiable on his good days, but this was something else entirely.
She loved it.
“Yeah,” John muttered behind her, “one more time, or maybe two.”
“God.”
Her moan melted into a high whine.
“Just John tonight, babe.”
He would kill her like this.
It’d be a glorious death, though.
“You don’t have to rush. Have a seat and let me plate some food. There’s no reason for you to run yourself ragged over a dinner, Siena. I can help. I know how overwhelming this family can be to cook for when we’re all in the same house.”
At the same time Siena’s mother-in-law tried to get her to relax, the doorbell for their home rang yet again. She passed Jordyn a look and added on a sigh for good measure. Just because. As if pregnancy didn’t make her exhausted enough—good God, could she sleep any more than she did now?—this dinner so she and John could announce their pregnancy to their family as a whole was going to have her sleeping for a good day or more. She could tell already.
Not that Jordyn knew she was pregnant.
Not yet, anyway.
Soon.
“Thanks,” Siena said to Jordyn as the noise picked up in the living room and the dining room at the same time. The Marcello family really was huge when they all got together in the same space. One didn’t notice as much when they were spread out, but John and Siena didn’t have a mansion in the hills to give a bit of space. Maybe they should, though … “But I knew what I signed up for with this. If you could plate some more food while I get that door, however, I would be forever grateful.”
Jordyn laughed and nodded where she stood behind the kitchen island. “I can definitely do that. No worries.”
“You’re a life saver.”
“No. Just your loving mother-in-law.”
Siena grinned. “I did get kind of lucky with you, huh?”
Jordyn shrugged. “Well, we wives had a good role model of our own, to be honest. Go get the door—I promise the kitchen is handled.”
“Perfect.”
Siena left the kitchen in as much of a hurry as she had come into it. Maybe her nerves had a part to play in why this dinner made her so anxious. Not that anyone made her feel that way—hell, they didn’t even know about the pregnancy yet, but still … it gave her pause. Their family only ever asked things out of love, but sometimes the way they asked it didn’t come out as positive as they meant for it to.
Would some ask if they were ready? Or about John? Perhaps his mental health or the current state of it?
Questions like those would undoubtedly dampen the happiness of the day, and it worried Siena. More than she wanted to admit, although she hadn’t told John any of that. It wasn’t like it would help him at all. It was bad enough that she worried about it constantly. He didn’t need to get the ideas stuck in his head, too.
Thankfully, it seemed John had grabbed the door before Siena even got a chance to reach the end of the hallway. She joined her husband who was currently greeting his therapist with a handshake and a nod. She didn’t hear what the two men said before she arrived, but she caught the tail end when John said, “And thanks for coming today.”
“Of course, I came. It’s what friends do.” Then, Leonard turned on Siena with a smile when she wrapped one arm around John’s waist. “And Siena … how have you been?”
“Good. Tired, but good.”
Leonard smiled. “As long as you always end with good, then that’s what counts.”
“You’re looking well,” she noted, taking in the man’s tailored suit; something he didn’t wear frequently as he usually settled on slacks and a dress shirt.
“That’s a good sign, then.”
A good sign?
“For what?” Siena asked.
“John!”
The newest arrival of a guest had Siena’s attention drifting behind Leonard to where Andino, his wife Haven, and their toddler and baby—one in each parents’ arms—waited. She didn’t get the answer to the question she asked Leonard because John had them promising to talk more later and moving forward to greet his cousin and the man’s wife and kids.
That was fine.
They had time.
ELEVEN
Usually having his house full of people—even if those people were his family and friends—would put John on edge. He’d find himself balancing between wanting everyone there and at the same time, being two seconds away from snapping at them all to get the fuck out. It wasn’t that he didn’t like having them there, but his home had always been the one place where he hid away from the rest of the world. Even those who cared for him.