The streets were empty, it was Monday morning and most people were at work or recovering from the weekend, but there was enough traffic to make for interesting people watching. Something about the holiday feeling of the street made her think of Ed. She remembered before the responsibilities of fatherhood unsettled him, how much fun they would have together. He was like a child in that way, just wanting to enjoy life. Dan came to mind and she shuddered, remembering the first time they had sex; he grabbed her, his lips on her neck while he thrust into her.
Getting out her phone, she dialed his number. “You okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine. I’m in town having coffee on the sidewalk and I thought of you.”
“Well isn’t that nice. If I didn’t have clients, I’d come back to Smithtown and sit with you. It sounds very relaxing.”
“It is. Anyway, I won’t keep you. Just wanted to hear your voice.” They said good-bye and hung up, Lisa smiling. She paid her bill and walked to the car when her phone buzzed; it was Daniela.
“Hi, I’m just leaving to come home.”
“Okay, no worries then,” Daniela said, anxiety in her voice apparent. “Miranda’s sick but if you’re on your way, then everything is good.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Lisa stopped, frightened.
“She’s complaining of a stomach ache. She had a bout of diarrhea, so I gave her a banana. She’s not throwing up.”
“Okay, well maybe she has a bug. I’m on the way home.” The drug cabinet was full of remedies for childhood ailments, but she decided to stop at the grocery store for ginger ale and popsicles. Her phone rang again when she was standing in the checkout line, paying for the few items.
“Please, hurry home. I think she just had a seizure,” Daniela said. Feeling like someone had thrown hot water on her; Lisa grabbed her groceries and ran out of the store. By the time she was home, Daniela was frantic. Miranda was unconscious, laying on the floor with a blanket over her. Marcus was screaming in the background and Daniela was holding on to Megan, who wasn’t too happy either.
“Call 9-1-1,” Lisa said, trying to stay calm as she fell to her knees to make sure Miranda was breathing and her heart was beating. Getting out her phone, she hit the call button for Dan’s number. His receptionist Donna answered, and Lisa cried into the phone.
“Ask him to come home right away, please! Tell him Miranda is unconscious.” Donna said she’d tell him and hung up. Lisa started to work on Miranda to get her to wake up, remembering once reading that allowing someone to stay in that state was dangerous.
“Come on baby, wake up,” she said, patting her cheek. Miranda was such a frail little thing, they tried to get both girls to eat more but it was a lost cause. Lisa could see her Aunt Marie in Miranda, her delicate features and pale skin and eyes. She drew the child to her, holding her, rocking her, singing a favorite nursery rhyme.
“Little one so sweet and gentle, a tiny bird flies close by, singing a song of love, hold him closely, tenderly.”
She looked up at Daniela, who was holding tightly to Megan, a stray tear running down her face. “What happened?” Lisa asked gently.
“After I called you the first time, she seemed fine. But then she didn’t. She was stumbling around, so I got her to sit on the floor while I was trying to get the other’s settled. Then she started to shake. She leaned on me, shivering. Not violent or anything, but she didn’t respond when I asked her if she was okay, then she fell back and that was it.” The screaming of the siren in the distance announced the arrival of the ambulance.
Daniela held the door open for the squad who surrounded Lisa and Miranda. The lead technician squatted down and gently took Miranda from Lisa’s grasp, talking to her the entire time, asking questions while he examined her. Someone put an oxygen mask on her and another started an IV in the back of her hand.
It wasn’t until it was time to leave that Lisa broke down. Daniela was in no condition to be left alone again. “I have two babies and a toddler; I can’t go until my husband gets home.” They understood, telling her not to worry, they would take Miranda to the local hospital and she could get there as soon as she could. In the meantime, they’d communicate with her by phone to get permission to do anything they might need to do.
“I’ll go with her,” Daniela said.
“Thank you so much,” Lisa said, taking Megan from her. Daniela left and Lisa locked the door and put Megan down to get Dan Junior, who was yodeling. She called Pam next, crying into the phone while trying to nurse the baby.
“Mother I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Dan’s on his way home and then I can go to be with her. Could you or noni come and help out while I’m gone?”
“I’ll send my mother over and meet you at the hospital,” Pam said.
Hanging up, Pam couldn’t help thinking there goes my peace. She’d been holding her breath for four years, worrying about Miranda. Hurrying back to the children’s wing, she knocked on Nelda’s door.
“Come in,” she yelled. Pam went in to find her mother standing on a stool, doing something in the closet.
“Mother get down from there, please. We have a problem.” Nelda came out, dusting her hands off while Pam explained what had happened.
“Oh no, I hope it’s nothing bad,” she said, the two making eye contact but not saying anything out loud and giving negative words power. “Maybe she has what you had yesterday.”
“I’d forgotten all about it. I hope that’s all it is. Can you help Dan with the other children? I’ll go to the hospital with Lisa.”
“Of course,” Nelda said, getting her purse and a sweater, even though it was eighty degrees out.
They drove to Lisa’s house in silence until Nelda asked, “Does Lisa know what Marie died from?” Pam dreaded the question, sad her mother would have to worry about that all over again.
“No. No one did. She had a brain infection that’s all. No one knew the root cause, or if they guessed, they didn’t say anything.”
“I’m scared,” Nelda said, looking straight ahead. Pam grabbed her hand and squeezed.
“Me too, Mother. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m not saying a word. Let the doctors work this out, shall we? It might be nothing; the flu, an ear infection.”
“She’s never been sick before.” Pam didn’t respond, forgetting about the other children. What else was there to say?
Pulling into Lisa’s driveway, they saw Dan’s car there already. “Wait here. Lisa can drive with you if she hasn’t left yet.” Nelda got out and quickly went to the door, Dan holding it open for her. He nodded his head in Pam’s direction with a solemn expression on his face and she forced a wave.
Waiting for Lisa, she debated whether to call Sandra and decided against it; she’d never expressed any interest in Miranda since Lisa started taking care of her. But she would call Tom, who was happily married now to Jenna with a baby of his own on the way. Tom stayed in touch, concerned about Miranda. Looking through the A’s in her cell phone contact book, the names she read were like a journal of her life since Jack died and meeting Sandra. Tom Adams, Brooklyn, followed by his mother Virginia’s name and his father John and stepmother Gwen in Bayside. They’d been in her life for a short time, friendly, kind people, and she found she missed them. Dialing the number, she wasn’t sure if it was a cell phone or the number from when he and Sandra lived together until he answered, “Detective Adams.”
“Tom, it’s Pam Smith,” she said. She was never one of Tom’s favorites, but after he and Sandra had broken up, he allowed his resentment of her to dissipate and they were on friendly, even affectionate terms.
“Hi there!” Tom was genuinely pleased to hear from her.
“I only have a second. I wanted you to know Miranda’s just been taken to the hospital.” She explained the circumstances.
“Okay, thank you for telling me. I’ll drive over as soon as possible. My mother might insist on coming and I hope that will be okay.”
“That would be f
ine,” Pam said, saying goodbye as Lisa dashed down the steps toward the car.
“Daniela just texted and she still unconscious. Mother, what if Daniela hurt her? I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Lisa, stop it. Daniela loves the children. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt them. You know I was sick yesterday. I was with the children Saturday so maybe she's got what I had.” Pam bit her tongue the impulse to tell Lisa the truth about Miranda’s history strong. But she didn’t want to plant that seed in the universe. It would come out in due time if it were the cause. “Tell me everything that happened.” Lisa gave her the details she knew.
“I was wasting the morning sitting in an outdoor café having coffee and in the meantime, Miranda is deathly ill.”
“You need to get out occasionally. It’s just a coincidence she got sick when you were gone.” Pulling up to the hospital as another ambulance arrived, Pam’s anxiety level increased.
“I really hate hospitals,” she said, visibly shaken.
Lisa grabbed her hand. “I do too, Mother. I’m so sorry.” They walked quickly into the facility, standing close, wanting to hold hands. At the reception desk, a secretary told them where to go, a long corridor that lead to a children’s wing. Lisa saw Daniela standing against the wall, waiting, still crying.
“Mrs. Chua, I am so sorry. I hope you don’t think I had anything to do with this.” Lisa grabbed her arms.
“Is she alive?” Lisa said, frantic.
“Yes! Yes, she’s alive.” She lowered her head and started to cry again. Pam patted Daniela’s arm and frowned at Lisa. Her daughter could be brutal.
A woman in a white lab coat walked out of the room. “Who’s the child’s parent?”
“I am,” Lisa said stepping forward. “Do you know what’s wrong with her?”
“I’m Doctor Tang,” she said. “We ran some preliminary blood tests and should have more information soon. Can you tell me anything about her history? Has she had episodes like this before?”
“Nothing,” Lisa said. “She’s been healthy from the start, which is a miracle. Her mother was in a coma for the last weeks of her pregnancy and died a few hours after she was born.” Pam felt so proud of Lisa taking charge, but her heart was bounding, hearing the sad details again.
“Do you know what the cause of the coma was?”
Lisa looked at Pam. “Wasn’t it some kind of brain infection?” Pam nodded her head.
The doctor looked concerned but didn’t inquire further. “If you think of anything else, I’ll be in the ward. Just ask them to page me.” Lisa nodded and the doctor walked away.
They stood in a huddle, watching her back. “We might as well find a waiting room to sit in. Daniela, here’s cab fare. Could you please head back home? I’m worried my grandmother is trying to take care of everyone alone while Dan drinks coffee.”
Taking the money, she left without saying goodbye. “You were a tad harsh with her, Lisa.”
“Mother, Daniela is my employee, not my girlfriend. Our relationship is professional. We pay her to look after the children. I didn’t blame her or even suggest she was to blame for this in any way, but she’s not hanging out here while my noni juggles two babies and a toddler. If she doesn’t like it, she can look for another job.”
“Okay, I got it,” Pam said, sneaking a peek at her watch. “How long does blood work take?”
“Oh God, I hope not long. I’m about ready to scream.” They watched people come and go, other doctors and patient families. Pam felt guilty feeling trapped. She would stay as long as Lisa needed her, but it didn’t mean she had to like it. They looked up just as Tom arrived. He was so handsome, and even though he no longer wore a uniform as a detective, he exuded a cop vibe that made heads turn in the ER. He hugged both women while they told him what the doctor said.
She suddenly thought of Natalie, probably at the house now. “I need to call home for a minute.” She dialed the number and Annabelle answered.
“Hi, did Natalie Borg arrive?”
“Yes, Mrs. Smith. She’s in with Mrs. Smith the first now.”
“Ha! Okay, explain the situation to her, will you, please? She’s welcome to stay, but I have no idea when I can leave the hospital.”
“She knows and understands. I’m preparing to get the Mahjong tiles out.”
“You don’t have enough people,” Pam replied.
“I’ll play and Natalie said she’ll be two people.”
“Oh, good. Thank you, Annabelle,” Pam said laughing. They hung up, the vision of organic Natalie playing Mahjong with stately Bernice comical. Pam was sorry she’d laughed, seeing how miserable Lisa was, feeling pain for Miranda.
Lisa pulled Pam aside. “Mom, what am I going to do? I love Miranda and I want to be here for her, but I have three children at home. I’m nursing. My boobs feel like they are about ready to explode.”
“Tom said he’d stay till tonight. Let me take you home. You can come back tonight after the boys are sleeping.”
“I just don’t feel right about leaving her now,” Lisa said. Pam knew she might be implying that Pam should stay, but she wasn’t offering.
“Miranda loves Tom. If she wakes up while he’s here, she’ll be fine. We’ll take turns the rest of the time, okay? I’ll come in the morning. I’ll enlist Tom and his mother. We can get Ed’s mother to come out and help. It will work out, you’ll see.”
“You don’t get it, Mother,” Lisa said.
“What don’t I get?”
“I can’t stay here with Miranda because I have a family. You asked me to take her; I think you should stay with her.” Annoyed, Pam knew she was partially responsible for her daughter’s bad behavior and it was never too late to be a parent. She spoke softly to her, but firmly.
“I do get it, Lisa. But I don’t think you do. This is life. You want the responsibility of being a parent this is what you get. You don’t get to bail out when the going gets tough. Nobody twisted your arm to take Miranda. Now if you think it’s too much to handle, we’ll have to figure out something else for her.
“Noni and Dan are at the house with the boys and Megan. They have everything under control. Let me take you home and you can nurse everyone and help noni and Daniela get them to bed. Then either you or Dan needs to come back here because Miranda might wake up and if someone she loves isn’t here, she could be frightened. You’ll work it out, I promise you. You’re a good mother.”
Lisa was fighting back the tears. Pam had never criticized her before. What she said was true, so it really hurt. “I’m just scared, Mom. I guard my schedule like it’s the most important thing in the world. How am I going to stay up all night with Miranda and nurse the boys?”
“Send Dan,” Pam said, putting her arm around Lisa as the left the courtyard. “Let’s go say goodbye to Tom and head home. I think it’s time for Dan to do his share.”
“He’s not going to be happy,” Lisa said.
“He’ll get over it.” Tom was reading the paper, waiting. He put it down when they returned.
“No news. I called Jenna and she is very sad about all this. She’s okay with me staying here as long as you need me. I called my mother and Faith is bringing her out tonight so you don’t have to worry about coming back unless you want to. I tried Sandra’s number, but she’s not taking calls, as usual.”
The realization of her mother’s prophesy that everything would work out made Lisa feel so guilty that she uncontrollably burst into tears. Hugging Tom, she cried, “Thank you so much for helping! I didn’t know how I was going to manage to stay with Miranda while two babies are at home.” Tom put his hands up, something wet wicking through his shirt. He looked at Lisa and there were two, large wet spots accentuating her breasts on the front of her blouse. Tom fought not to stare at her but lost, trying not to giggle.
“I guess I’d better get used to that. Jenna’s nursing, too.”
“Oh…my…God,” Lisa droned, looking down as she backed away. Pam burst out laughing.
“Yes, she’d better get home. Goodbye, Tom. I’ll call you when I get home later this afternoon. Give Virginia my love.”
“Well, that was embarrassing,” Lisa said.
The levity was short lived as they fell to thinking about Miranda again.
Chapter 5
Bernice’s shark-like cruise bargain hunting resulted in finding a cruise that left Wednesday for two weeks of leisurely cruising around the Virgin Islands. Departing from New York, they didn’t have to fly to Miami. The chaos of people going on a trip, with their mountain of bags stacked in the front hallway, Bernice near tears, worried she was forgetting something essential, Nelda’s sarcasm over the top and Annabelle stony silent, rolling her eyeballs, was over by nine that morning when the limousine finally arrived. Natalie was upstairs sleeping; she hadn’t come down until almost noon since she’d been at the beach. Pam sat at the kitchen counter, looking out the window over the sand to the ocean, coffee getting cold.
Miranda was discharged from the hospital Tuesday and doing much better. Dressed, sitting on the hospital bed early in the morning waiting for Lisa and Pam to pick her up from the hospital, Miranda looked forward to going back to Lisa’s house where she felt secure and loved.
The blood tests came back negative. The doctors determined the seizure was fever induced; the child probably just had the flu, the same thing Pam had.
Gladys Ford was thrilled to take over at Lisa’s and had arrived Tuesday ready to move in. Lisa said Dan wasn’t too happy, but no one cared what he wanted anymore. Released from duty apart from what a typical grandmother would have; buying gifts, giving treats and handing out love, Pam returned to the beach to oversee the cruise preparations.
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