by DRAYER, GINA
"I have something in mind. I just need to check on a few things. I'll let you know this afternoon." Wiping the sweat off her face with a towel, Beth stepped into the long shadow of the climbing tower and leaned against the wall. "Right now I need a shower. I'm going to hit the woman's dressing room. Why don't I call you later?"
He wasn't sure if Beth was once again trying to push him away, or if she was giving him an out. They'd fallen into this pattern of meeting up for a short while and then parting ways. The time had gone by so fast this morning, and he wasn't ready for her to leave.
"Why don't you come back to my room for your shower? I know you have bathroom envy." He came up next to her on the wall and pressed the towel into his face. Maybe they both could shower in his room. It would be a tight squeeze, but he'd enjoy it. "Then afterward, we can do something. Honestly, I don't see why we can't spend the entire day together."
"Matt, you have other commitments. Your family—"
"My family is having a good time. They won't even miss me."
"Let me get cleaned up. The showers in the locker room are big. Even larger than the one in your cabin. After a week of showering in a coffin and I could use the space," she said, still resisting him. "After I'm done, I'll call you."
"You're right. The showers in the cabins are too small. And I could use a shower, too," he said and grabbed her hand. Matt walked with her back to the fitness area, but instead of letting her go, he pulled her into the large handicapped bathroom opposite the dressing rooms.
After seeing her in the shower their first night together, Matt fantasized about joining her. But she was right, even his larger bathroom shower wouldn't accommodate what he wanted to do. When she'd mentioned the larger showers in the fitness center, he'd remembered seeing the private handicapped stall. The large room and bench was perfect for every deviant thing he had in mind. Not to mention the solid, locking door. He could almost hear her sexy moans echoing off the tile walls as they walked through the door.
When Matt pulled her into the private shower room, Beth wanted to complain. He was already pushing every limit she'd tried to impose. But after surveying the room, Beth was completely on board.
The shower stall was large enough for four people and had safety bars on two sides with a sturdy looking teak bench running the length of the back wall. There were all kinds of things they'd be able to do in that space. She was standing there imagining where she might like to take him when the sound of the locking the door broke the silence.
"I'll get the shower ready," Matt said. "You get naked."
Matt was being assertive. It wasn't like him. He usually went along with what other people wanted, quietly taking a back seat, but not with her. Every time she'd tried to put a limit or make demands, he'd push back. He did it last night, and now he was taking it to a new level.
Assuming she'd be fine sharing the shower, Matt stripped off his clothes and left them in a pile by the dressing counter, and started adjusting the shower knobs. She didn't miss the condom he'd set on the bench before sticking his head under the spray.
She should be mad, or at least the feminist in her should be a little put out by his assumption she'd have sex with him in a public shower. But she'd only be kidding herself if she tried to deny how turned on she was at the sound of the door locking. And now, watching him lather his body as rivulets of water raced down his spine, Beth knew there was no way she could say no to this.
After piling her clothes on top of her discarded shoes and setting her necklace on the counter, she stepped into the shower behind Matt. She hadn't planned on touching him, at least not yet. But when he shifted to share the spray of the shower, their bodies meet. His elbow brushed her belly, and their hips slid past one another under the flow of water, and it was all she could do not to throw herself at his feet.
Water pooled on his shoulder and several plump beads trickled off. She couldn't help herself. Beth leaned forward and sucked a droplet from his skin, tracing her tongue along its path. Matt's entire body jerked on contact and he took a small step back.
"Shower first, sweetheart," he said. And it might have been what he wanted, but his hard cock was evidence enough that his body had a different plan.
"We can shower after." She licked the back of his ear and was caught off guard by the unpleasant taste of soap. "Yuck. Fine, clean first, but make it fast."
Matt filled his hand with shower gel, worked it to a creamy lather, and turned her so she was out of the main part of the spray. He slid his soapy hands down her arms, along her collarbone, and finally massaged her breasts. Despite his edict to shower first, he pressed himself against her back and circled her nipples, drawing them into hard points. Reveling in his thorough attention, Beth grasped one of the safety bars and closed her eyes. She could stand here for hours just enjoying the feel of his hands as they traversed every inch of her body.
"You're beautiful," he said, running his fingertips along her stomach down to the swell of her hips.
A shiver ran down her spine as his hand traveled between her legs. Slippery with water, his finger teased and circled her clit. She rolled her hips against the movement desperate for more friction.
"That's right," he murmured against her skin as his mouth trail down her throat, tasting and sucking along the way.
She was so close to release it wouldn't take much to push her over. "Matt. Please."
His hands left their teasing and turned her around, pressing her against the cold tile wall with his body. The feel of his hard cock sliding along her opening was its own brand of torture. She moaned and rocked against him, desperate now.
"Say it again," he said into her ear. "Tell me what you want."
The room was completely filled with steam now. Everything felt surreal, as if they didn't have to worry about tomorrow. No obligations, no family, no expectations. No end to this cruise.
"Please, Matt."
His teasing was over. Matt reached down and took care of the condom. But Beth wasn't going to wait another second. She reached between them and directed him home, rocking up to encourage his position. As if he needed any encouragement. He grabbed one leg, bringing it over his hip, and drove his cock unbearably deep. It was exactly what she'd wanted.
Matt caressed her ass as he thrust into her slowly and rhythmically, and she arched her back to meet him every time. Her moans and whimpers grew louder as he gradually increased his tempo.
Every nerve in her body was on fire and she needed the release. Desperate, Beth rotated her hips and ground her mound against him, trying to intensify her pleasure.
She buried her face in his neck, trying to muffle her loud moans as he brought her to the edge. She didn't want any of the other guests to know what they were doing, but when he bit her neck and growled, "Come for me," she couldn't hold back. She let go, crying out her release, and dug her nails into his scalp. It was loud. But thankfully, the pounding shower drowned out most the sound.
Seconds later, Matt moved his hand and gripped her hip tighter, finding his own release. He drew back to look at her, lust still clouding his eyes, and smiled.
"Fuck…" he breathed.
Slowly coming down from her own orgasmic high, she untangled her fingers from his hair and licked a drop of water off his chin. He was so cute when he lost the ability to speak after sex.
"Hmmm," Beth hummed in agreement still enjoying the feel of him. She was content to just stand there, with the water cascading over them.
"I've been wanting to do that since that first night when you took a shower in my cabin. I didn't think I'd ever get the chance."
He was right. They might not have ever been able to enjoy this, because there was no future for them. And she couldn't forget that. But each time they were together, it got a little harder. Ducking under his arm still braced on the wall, Beth rinsed off under the spray. What she needed right now was some physical distance.
"So, I'll let you know about dinner," she said after stepping out of the stall. "I'll c
all around seven or so and tell you where to meet me."
"Where are you going? You haven't showered."
"I'll take one later," she said. A towel wrapped around her, Beth started digging through her bag. Matt caught a flash of red before she turned around and started toweling off. "I'm going for a swim. I'll need to wash the chlorine out of my hair after that."
Matt collected his things from the shower before stepping out. "I take it by your hasty retreat you won't be spending the rest of day with me?"
He sounded pissed, but that was even more reason stand by her decision. But when she turned around and caught the wounded expression in his eye, she started to second guess her choice.
"I'll be at the pool. There's nothing to stop you from joining me." She pulled the red bathing suit up and tossed the halter straps over her shoulders before coming over to him. "Do you mind?" she asked and turned, sweeping her damp hair away from her neck.
He tied the suit without saying a word. Her resolve was crumbling. Maybe she should just say fuck it and throw caution to the wind. But even the fact that she was thinking that, gave her pause. She was already in way too deep.
"Thanks." She kissed him on the cheek after he tied her up and grabbed her bag. "So, seven for dinner. See you then."
It was better this way. Wasn't it? As Beth walked out, without looking back, she wasn't sure anymore.
Chapter 12
Modern Girl Tip #9: Don't Forget Your Friends—So, you're having a great time with that guy you meet a few days ago, that doesn't mean you should forget about your friends. Taking time to hang with the girls is a good way to stay grounded.
Beth sat, sipping a tall tropical rum punch, completely racked with guilt. The way she left Matt in the shower was beyond bitchy. She might as well have said, "Thanks for the fuck, but I've got better things to do now." Once again she'd let her own stupid insecurities drive her choices. All she was trying to do was avoid trouble.
And Matt Carver was trouble with a capital T. He was constantly toeing the line of their casual arrangement. Every time she tried to get distance, Matt would give her that wounded puppy dog expression and she'd acquiesce. They spent less and less time apart. This morning after the climb, she realized the more time they spent together, the more she wanted from him.
And Beth really needed their time apart. It was the only way she could keep things in perspective. Things were getting too intimate. She had a bad feeling that everything was going to fall apart. And this time she wasn't sure if her heart would survive the wreckage.
The pool seemed like the perfect escape. After pushing Matt away, Beth hoped he'd decide not to join her. But there was this masochistic part of her that secretly wished he would.
When she reached the adult pool, Beth picked a lounge chair tucked in the corner, away from the crowds, and pulled out her e-reader. Normally, getting lost in a good book would help. For that little bit while she was reading, the story could transport her to another world and she didn't have to worry about her problems.
It was one of the reasons she picked the cruise. She'd imagined spending her days sunbathing and reading. Instead, she was sitting there panicking over a man she barely knew, and worst of all, mooning over a future that could never be.
"Beth! Beth! Can you come watch me go down the slide?"
Jake ran over to her lounge chair in a blur of youthful energy, showering her with cold droplets.
"Okay. But promise me, no more running."
"Jake. I told you, you're not supposed to be here. This is a grown up area. Now, leave Beth alone." Lily came up behind him, with her other child balanced on her hip. "I'm sorry, Beth. He saw you from the upper deck, and the second I turned around…"
"Don't worry about it. I'd be happy to watch him for a while. I can't seem to get into my book."
Turning to Jake, she said, "Do you think they'll let me on the slide?"
For the next hour, Beth chased after the young boy and tried to put her current dilemma out of her mind. But even as she tried lose herself and forget the promise she'd seen in Matt's warm eyes, she couldn't keep him out of her thoughts. Every slight movement caught her attention and she look up, expecting to see him. But the minutes turned into an hour, and she accepted he wasn't going to join her.
She said goodbye to Lily and the kids, resigned to the fact she'd be alone for the rest of the afternoon. Beth started to pack her things, determined to go someplace she could relax, since the pool wasn't helping. But just as she was about to leave, Holly flagged her down from across the deck.
"Holly. Good to see you. No kids today?"
"The twins are in daycare, Mike is watching a game with Dad, so I'm taking the day off." Without invitation, Holly flopped down in the chair next to Beth and let out a huge sigh. "Don't tell my brother this, but Matt had some good advice for once in his life. He was right. I needed to take some time for myself."
Holly tipped her tall glass that held some colorful concoction with a flower sticking out of the top, and smiled. She looked more relaxed than Beth had seen her in days.
"Well, I think it's working. You look like you're having fun."
"This trip hasn't been the vacation I was hoping for," Holly said, frowning. "I've run myself ragged getting everything organized for the family. The guys didn't even help. Jason expected his wife to pitch in, but no matter what Bridget says, she wasn't much help. Sure, she helped plan the reception, but I swear, she created more work than she actually did."
"Well, I think you did a great job. Martha seems like she's having the time of her life. So if anyone deserves some time off, it's you."
Taking another long sip of her drink, Holly shrugged. "A few years ago, I would have insisted I take care of all the arrangements. But that was before the twins. My whole life revolves around them these days. You know, before we had kids, Mike and I would go to interesting events, drink, and have sex all the time. I mean ALL the time. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. Now everything we do is about the twins. I'm exhausted and horny."
"That bad?" Beth asked, surprised at Holly's sudden candor. Over the past week, they hadn't spent much time talking, but even so, she didn't strike Beth as being one of these women who shared every detail of her life. Beth eyed the drink Holly was greedily sipping and was pretty sure it hadn't been her first. Not that Beth was one to judge. If she didn't have a stupid dinner to plan, she might be right up there with Holly.
"Kids are supposed to make you happy, right? No one ever tells you how hard it's going to be," Holly said. "The kids need so much attention and then you have to maintain a relationship. And work. And don't even get me started on my social life. It's so hard to do everything. Does it ever get easier?" She took another drink and went on, without waiting for Beth to answer. Not that she had one for that particular question. "If they told women how hard it really is, our whole species would die out. No one would ever have kids again. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I swear they're vampires. They're like little energy leeches that are sucking the life right out of me. They totally took over my life."
There was a brief lull in the conversation. Beth wasn't sure what she could say. She didn't think handling a bunch of twenty-something interns qualified her to give parenting advice.
Without warning, Holly threw her hands up in disgust. "See what I mean! I'm free of the kids and I'm still talking about them. Once you're a parent, everything changes. And then to top it off, Mike had the nerve to ask me if I was ready for another one. Another one? I might have stabbed him with a fork if it weren't for the fact that trying for another kid would mean lots of sex. And trust me, after the last year, I really, really want to do more trying. One child is bad enough, but with twins we hardly have the energy for a quickie, let alone nightly sex. I think twins run in families. I don't think I could do it again. What are your thoughts on kids? Thinking about have one anytime soon?"
It was a good thing Beth still didn't have a drink, because she choked at the question. "God, no."
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"Too bad. I thought that might get the pressure off me. Mom adores the twins and she'd love to have more grandkids. She's not getting one from Jason. Bridget doesn't want kids, but between you and me, I think that's for the best. She'd make a horrible mom." Holly finished off the rest of the drink, and stared into the empty glass as if it held the answer to all her problems. "Maybe we can just do the trying part of getting pregnant. That's what I really want. We'll try for baby three, and I'll stay on the pill. What do you think?"
Not at all abashed by her frank admission, Holly waited for Beth's answer, as though she'd just asked about the weather, not spilled intimate details about her sex life.
At that point, Beth wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't as if they were friends. She was just the girl who was sleeping with and, as far as Holly knew, dating her brother. Was she expected to comment about Holly's sex troubles? Share details about her own sex life? Commiserate?
The whole conversation was incredible awkward, but Beth didn't think she could just move to the other side of the pool and ignore Holly in hopes of escaping this horrid conversation. So instead, she dropped her bag and settled in, opting instead for a change of subject.
"So… Uhm, how are you enjoying the cruise so far?"
Hadn't Holly just admitted how much stress this trip was causing? Crap, Beth really sucked at this family stuff. Luckily, the waiter came over and there was a pause in the conversation. Holly ordered another and Beth picked out something equally tropical for herself. This gave her time to cover her gaff, moving the conversation to neutral territory.
"How about them Cubs? They look good this year."
"God. I must sound like a crazy, sex-starved bitch." Holly set her now empty glass down and turned toward Beth. "I don't normally do girl talk. With two brothers, not to mention my job in the boy's club of corporate finance, I don't have a lot of opportunities to hang out with other women. I didn't mean to shock you with my locker room talk." She rolled her eyes and smiled that same lopsided smile Matt used when he was being playful. "Uhm… That was a nice dress you had on yesterday. Who's it by?"